I wasn’t sure. I had been silent from the start with her and Erik, and Debbie had stayed silent over what had happened. Silence, no matter which way you look at it, destroyed lives.
He made a deep, torn sound. “If she wanted to kill herself, she would’ve done it no matter what anyone did or said, Tess.”
Kill herself.
Something didn’t ring true about that, made it hard to believe that she would’ve actually hung herself. Denial was riding me pretty strongly, but there was something in the back of my head that screamed she wouldn’t have done this.
“I wonder if they’ve found a suicide note,” I mused out loud, feeling a heaviness settle in my stomach and chest. “Do you think they did?”
He pulled back, dropping his hands to my legs as he shook his head. “I don’t know. They might tell you tomorrow when I take you to the office.”
That was the last thing I wanted to think about having to do. I scrubbed the heels of my palms down my face. So many thoughts raced through my head that I blurted out one of them. “Did you know Steph lived there? I mean, that she was my suitemate?”
“No. I’ve never been to her dorm. Never asked, either.”
I chose to believe him in that moment, because it was stupid to care about that right now. “She called you?”
“She did and I . . . she said you were really upset—screaming—and she called me.”
I shuddered as those horrible moments after finding Debbie came back. “How did she know?”
He looked at me, confused. “The night at the party—she pretty much guessed that you meant something to me and that something was going on between us.”
Made sense. I turned a little and focused on taking several deep breaths.
“I’m going to see if Cam has something to drink.”
“Make it strong,” I mumbled.
“You sure?” He kissed my cheek after I nodded. “I’m sure he has something.”
Lifting my gaze, I found myself staring at where the crutches had landed on Cam’s beige carpet. A few days ago I’d thought my life was ruined. Not completely, because good things happened at the same time that something so terrible had. I got Jase. Finally, after years of pining for the boy, I had him. Earlier tonight, when I’d been upset with Jase over hitting Erik, seemed so irrelevant. As did my bum knee. Those issues paled in comparison to what had just happened to Debbie and her family. My problems were nothing, because Deb . . . she was gone.
Jase returned with a small glass of amber-colored liquor. “Scotch,” he said, handing it over. “It should help.”
I took a sip and winced as it burned my throat. “Whoa.”
“The second drink will be easier.” He held the entire bottle and took a swig, obviously a pro at drinking the fancy stuff.
He’d been right. The second drink was easier and the third even more so. When I finished, I placed the glass on the coffee table.
“Did it help?” he asked, placing the bottle beside my glass.
Did it? I turned to him. “I want . . . want to sleep.”
His expression softened. “That’s probably a good idea.”
Yes. That did sound like a magnificent idea. “Will you stay with me tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”
“Of course I’ll stay with you. There’s no way I’m letting you be by yourself tonight.”
I scooted toward him and looped my arms around his neck. “Thank you so much for coming.”
He returned the embrace. “You don’t have to thank me for this.”
“But I do. I don’t know what I would be doing if you weren’t here. Probably losing my mind. I just . . .” I didn’t finish. Gratitude swelled in me. “Thank you.”
Jase dropped a kiss to the top of my head, and I found it hard to disentangle my arms from him. I found an old, oversize shirt of Cam’s to wear to bed while Jase investigated the extra bedroom.
“Sorry. I can’t sleep in Cam’s bed. Too weird.”
I limped into the extra room and eyed the full-size bed that had a blue comforter neatly tucked in. “Isn’t this Ollie’s old room?”
Jase glanced over his shoulder. His gaze was quick, but I didn’t miss that he was taking in all the exposed flesh. Cam’s shirt slipped off one shoulder and the material ended midthigh. If I bent over, someone would be getting an eyeful of my undies.
He looked away as he widened his stance by the bed. “Cam actually replaced the bed and stuff because the old one belonged to Ollie. Sometimes I stay here.”
“You sure?”
Jase chuckled. “I would not sleep in the same bed as Ollie unless it’s been disinfected.”
My lips twitched. “That’s mean.”
“Uh, you didn’t want to sleep in his bed either,” he pointed out as he faced me. “That boy has been around. His bed has had more action than a subway train.”
I cracked a grin.
His eyes lightened. “There they are.”
“What?”
“The dimples.”
I smiled.