Right then was one of those times.
My fingers returned to tracing the slightly raised, lighter colored skin. I could feel his eyes on me, watching. I looked up to find that his normal cockiness wasn’t showing, just pain, confusion, and…wonderment?
His fingers trembled as they ghosted over my skin, his lips brushing against mine.
There was only the sound of rushing water, and the hitch of his breath.
Each pass, caress, was like a shock, sending warmth through me to beat back the cold from my dream. Each stroke was bringing me back to him.
My eyes were heavy as they followed his every movement. He took my right hand, and floated it up to his lips. His mouth washed over each knuckle, his eyes on mine the entire time.
His actions held me breathless and spellbound, and spoke volumes in their silence.
He was devoted to me, even if he could never allow himself to love me or say the words; he did care. I meant something to him.
Tears welled at the corners of my eyes, and I hiccupped as I tried to hold in the emotions trying to burst out of my heart.
He didn’t speak, but he didn’t need to. Ghosts of my past were trying their damnedest to take me down, while Nathan was pulling me back.
It seemed like he had to be as close as possible, to make me concentrate on him – to focus on what mattered. I felt his beating heart, his breath across my skin. He rained worshipping kisses across my cheeks, down my neck, and along my shoulders. I couldn’t ignore the language that his body spoke, it was louder than any verbal sentiment he could ever give. That was all I knew in that moment—he was my anchor.
Once he realized I was over the worst of it, his touches became more urgent, his kisses more intense.
He ran his nose up my neck to my ear. “Relax, baby,” he whispered. “Do I have your attention now? I need you here with me.” He knew and understood what I needed more than anyone ever had before.
I nodded at his words, and willed my muscles to uncoil, my body relaxing back into him. He was playing my body in a way only he could. No other man would ever be able to make me feel that way.
His fingers slipped into me, while his other hand moved across my chest to tease my nipple. “Come back to me, baby. Don’t let them take you from me.”
Nathan would not be ignored, least of all because of my past. I loved him for doing that for me. No therapy could ever get me out of my head like that…but Nathan could. He knew what I needed, since his head was equally as fucked up and rife with past trauma.
My legs shook as his fingers pushed deeper, my whole body tensing as I moved closer and closer to the edge. He was pulling me into that trance-like state I craved and needed.
I moaned and pushed my hips back into his as I fisted his hair. “You are my cock slut, my sex goddess, and my beautiful girl. That’s all you need to know.”
I was panting, so close to release. Every time he called me his, I almost came and sobbed at the same time. I was undone. I couldn’t think at all about anything but his possession. My walls clenched around his fingers, my muscles seizing in ecstasy as he pushed me over the edge.
My body was limp against his, my arms at my sides. The spray of the water was cooling my now heated skin.
His hands ran soothing circles on my skin. “Feel better? Are you okay now?”
I nodded as best I could, unable to talk. I soaked up the feeling of him pressed against my back, and tried my hardest to push back the dark doubts that were writhing at the back of my mind.
CHAPTER 16