An Act of Persuasion

chapterR FOUR



ANNA LOOKED AT the clock on her kitchen wall. It was one minute to noon and she held her breath waiting for the minute hand to move. As soon as it did, her doorbell rang. Ever punctual Ben.

After she’d dropped her bombshell on him, he’d insisted she come inside so they could talk about it, but she hadn’t lied when she’d said she wasn’t up for it. Even starting her second trimester, nausea and exhaustion could still sneak up to overwhelm her. And given how pale he’d gotten after the words left her mouth she knew he wasn’t up for a discussion, either. They both had needed some space and time.

He agreed to let her leave on the condition he would come over today at noon when they could have a calm and rational conversation after both of them had time to rest. Anna had gone to her apartment and had crashed hard, falling into a dreamless sleep. In truth, she didn’t know if that was from the baby or from the relief at finally having told him.

Rising, she walked to the tiny foyer, undid the chain on the door and opened it.

Ben was on the other side already frowning. “You didn’t ask who I was.”

“Oh, here we go.” She knew to expect this. Ben was overprotective and paranoid in normal circumstances. She usually gave him a pass because she figured a man who spent over fifteen years with the CIA had a right to always be watching over his shoulder for bad guys. Now that she was carrying his child, she could foresee those protective instincts leaping into overdrive.

Because of the baby, of course. Not her.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, it’s childish. When someone knocks on your door you need to ask who it is before you open it. It’s a basic precaution.”

“It’s twelve o’clock. I knew you were coming. You’re punctual as all hell. I didn’t need to ask who was on the other side of the door.”

“You’re pregnant,” he said, marching into her apartment. He filled the living room instantly. It was amazing to her. Ben wasn’t especially tall, or particularly buff. But he had this presence that made everyone in the vicinity around him take notice. At least she always did.

“I told you that, remember?” She closed the door and waited for the interrogation to begin. She’d had weeks to prep her answers and felt fairly confident she was going to pass this test.

“How long have you known?”

“Since I took the test maybe two weeks after I realized I was late.”

“So at least six weeks ago, but you waited to tell me?”

Taking a deep breath she mentally ticked through all her very sound, very logical reasons. “One, miscarriages happen most commonly in the first trimester. I wanted to be certain everything was fine and the baby was healthy before telling you anything. Two, you sort of had your hands full with the cancer. I wanted to wait and make sure you weren’t dealing with any type of rejection from the stem cells. Three—”

“No three. No one or two.” He was clearly angry. “I am the father of the child you are carrying and I should have been told!”

Anna jumped. In the six years she’d worked with him she’d never heard him raise his voice. Not even when she had been shouting at him for leaving her out of his life-and-death decision had he ever shouted back.

Instantly contrite, he bent his head and pushed his hands into his pants pockets. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m upset.”

Obviously. Anna wasn’t sure how his admission made her feel. She didn’t know she had that kind of power over him. She didn’t think anything could rattle Ben Tyler. Then again, he’d never been confronted with fatherhood before. It was definitely a game changer.

“Why don’t you sit? I’ll make us some tea.”

“Can you have tea in your condition?”

This time she turned her back on him before rolling her eyes. “I have decaffeinated.”

He sat on the couch as she made her way to the kitchen. She watched him as she filled the teapot with boiling water. He was touching her stuff. The throw blanket she kept on her couch. The decorative pillows she’d picked out. He should have looked silly—someone so incredibly masculine sitting on her deep purple couch surrounded by the electric blue and yellow pillows—but he didn’t. He owned the couch, bright colors or not, the way he owned the room.

She thought about what her life would be like if the kid inside her turned out to be anything like its father. The world would have to watch out having two like him in it.

“It’s not as messy as I thought it would be.”

Anna wasn’t sure how to take that statement. Her office was always neat and orderly—everything in her place. Of course she kept her home the same way. Not that it was hard to keep a one-bedroom apartment neat, but still, all of her possessions meant something to her. Each purchase had meaning and she would never treat her things so carelessly. He should have known that about her. There was no reason for him to assume she would live like a slob. Still, she cut him some slack because she could see he was out of sorts simply being here.

“Okay.”

“You have no pictures.”

Anna carried the two steaming mugs to the living room and handed him one carefully. Glancing around, she pointed at some of the pictures she had hanging on the walls. “What are you talking about? Last time I checked those were pictures.”

“I mean personal pictures. Of you and friends.”

“Neither do you.”

“That’s different.”

“Is it? Neither of us have parents or siblings. We’re both dedicated to our work. It’s not like either one of us spends time at places where we would be snapping photos of ourselves.”

“I guess I just imagined your place differently.”

“Messy and with pictures apparently. Sorry to disappoint you, but this is it. Although not for much longer.”

“What do you mean?”

“My lease is up early next year. They’re converting to condos but the price is a little out of my reach. Not that I want a condo anyway. I’ll need to rent something else for a while. Definitely a two bedroom. From what I understand babies require a lot of stuff.”

He nodded, but looked away from her as he spoke. “I thought you wanted to buy a house.”

“Sure, that’s the dream. And I’m almost there with my savings fund. Luckily for me, Mark pays as well as you do. But I don’t want to simply settle for something. When I buy my house it’s going to be perfect and mine.”

A place no one could ever take her away from. Anna shook her head and tried not to think about what that would be like when that day finally arrived. That would make her too anxious about the money she still had to save and the length of time that would take her to do so. She would worry about possible renovations and furnishings for this future, unknown house. She didn’t want to do any of that until she was ready to buy.

He seemed as though he wanted to respond, but hesitated. Eventually he shrugged. “Makes sense.”

“Do you know I’ve worked with you for six years and this is the first time you’ve ever been in my home?”

“You’ve never invited me before.”

Anna considered that. “True. But then why would an assistant invite her boss over?”

“You were more than an assistant,” he said. “And maybe I’ll get luckier with your next place.”

He put the mug on the coffee table and stood as if he needed to move. Another thing Anna had never seen him do. He wasn’t fidgety. Ever. In fact there was usually a stillness about him that implied his absolute control over everything—including his thoughts, his words, his emotions, hell, even the air around him.

“So you were planning on telling me. About the baby. It wasn’t just because you saw me last night.”

“Yes, I was going to tell you. It’s why I went last night. Do you really think I would hide something like that from you? Beyond any personal considerations, you’re half responsible for this, which means you’re going to help support it.”

“Of course I’m going to support it!”

Again with the shouting. And now he was pacing. Based on his behavior now, Anna wasn’t sure she even knew this man. “Relax. I know. You wouldn’t walk away from your responsibilities. You’re not that guy. I truly only waited to make sure everything was fine. With you and the baby.”

“You never said anything...about not being on birth control.”

It was true. Like every other woman who got knocked up unintentionally, Anna had let the moment take over and had stopped thinking. She wanted to regret her actions. She really did. But she couldn’t. Not the sex and, strangely, not the baby. Realistically, she should be way more freaked out by the whole single-mother thing. But when the indicator on that stick had turned pink she suddenly felt as if this were meant to happen.

“We didn’t exactly do a lot of talking that night.”

He seemed at a loss. “I should have protected you.”

“I should have protected myself. It happened.”

He stared at his feet, avoiding her eyes for his next question. “Did you ever consider having an—”

“Nope,” she said quickly, not even wanting to hear him say the word. She didn’t imagine he was happy about this pregnancy, but she couldn’t stand the thought that he might have wanted her to end it. “My body. My decision. Not your call.”

“No, no...I mean, I’m glad. I wouldn’t have wanted that. It’s not something I could ever see you doing. Hell, you got emotionally attached to the spiders living in my house.”

She smiled and couldn’t stop the rush of warmth that went to her heart knowing even if she had given him the choice, he wouldn’t have wanted to end the pregnancy. Then she crushed that warm, gooey feeling. She needed to remind herself constantly that this would not end with some happily ever after moment.

“And for me... While I never considered being a father, this is my only chance.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m sterile. The doctors told me it was a possibility with the heavier dosage of chemo I was subjected to. Before I left the hospital I had them test to be sure and they confirmed it.”

Oh.

She hadn’t thought of that. Naturally she had talked with her OB/GYN about the fact that Ben had gone through chemo prior to them having sex and what, if any, repercussions that might have on her child. While there are some concerns on the impact to the sperm and the possible structural change of the chromosomes, the data so far had not shown any increase in defects normally associated with pregnancy. Which meant her risks were the same as any other woman’s.

However, thinking back on that appointment, the doctor had mentioned how lucky she was. Anna now knew what the doctor had meant. Chemo could not only potentially alter sperm, it could also kill it. Ben’s swimmers had apparently survived his first round of treatment, but no such luck the second time. Talk about timing.

“Wow.” The weight of the responsibility she carried was suddenly much heavier.

He sat next to her on the couch, close but not touching. “At the time it didn’t bother me. I mean, I was convinced I wasn’t going to marry or be a parent. That wasn’t my plan for my life. But now I’m thinking what happened might have been a miracle. That’s selfish, I know.”

It was, but it was understandable. She’d been his last shot. Literally. In a way, it thrilled her to know she’d given him something no other woman would ever be able to give him. It meant she would always be important to him, always be connected to him. At least in that way.

“So you’re...happy about this?”

He took her hand and held it. “Anna, I’m not just happy, I’m ecstatic. I’m worried and nervous about my abilities to parent a child, but I—I don’t know how to say it really. I’ve never felt this way. Like suddenly I’m completely and totally attached to that baby growing inside you.”

His words should have made her happy. It was a good thing he was excited for this baby. She was excited for this baby. But all she could think about was how he had never once felt that way about her. They were attached to the growing life inside of her, but not to each other. There was something tragic about that.

She swallowed her self-pity and nodded. She needed to put aside her feelings and think only about the baby. It was good he felt attached. This meant he would be involved with the baby and that was important for the child. A child needed parents who loved and wanted it. Nobody understood that more than Anna. After being abandoned by her mother at age six, she’d spent the rest of her life not really mattering to anyone.

Until she met Ben. As his assistant, she had mattered. Then as his caregiver, she had mattered. Now as the mother of his only child, she really mattered.

Too bad she didn’t matter to him in the way she wanted to.

“Okay. So I guess you’ll want to do a visitation thing. We can talk about that. I mean, maybe not in the first few months because I’ll be breast feeding, but after—”

“Stop,” he said squeezing her hand. “What do you mean?”

“I mean if you’re happy about this, I’m assuming you’re going to want to see the baby, be part of his or her life.” She could see he was genuinely confused.

“Of course I’m going to be part of its life. We’re its parents.”

“Right. We’ll need to work out the details of how that happens.”

He released her hand and stood again. This time not to pace but to tower over her. “Anna, I don’t think you get it. I’m not talking about some arrangement where we split this child’s time between us.”

Not letting him intimidate her, she stood, too, and got in his face. “If you think for one second I’m going to let you take my child—”

He put his hands on her shoulders. “Calm down. Your face is turning is red. I’m not taking the child. You’re not keeping the child. We’re raising the child. Together. Anna, you’re going to marry me.”

The words hit her in the face like a slap. He wanted her to marry him.

How completely and totally awful.

“Oh, hell no.”

* * *

BEN WAS FURIOUS. When he finally pulled into his driveway he turned off the ignition and allowed himself a moment to express his fury by slamming his hand against the steering wheel.

He’d succeeded only in hurting his hand.

Her face. The completely and totally horrified look she had on her face when he told her they would marry. He didn’t think he would ever forget it.

It’s not like he was an ogre. Yes, he’d been sick, but the cancer was in remission and he was getting stronger every day. He still had a very successful business and all the money they could ever need and then some. The Tyler Group was proving to be an infinitely more profitable source of income than the United States government.

Yet, given her reaction, a person might have concluded that he’d asked her to go to the pits of hell instead.

“Oh, hell no.”

The words rattled around in his head. What kind of answer was that? She was carrying his child. Since the moment she’d told him about the baby he’d been unable to think of anything else. Anna and his child. His child. Anna. His.

Maybe that wasn’t entirely true. He’d also thought about how they created that child. Memories of that night came flooding back. Where once he’d ruthlessly suppressed them, now he didn’t see the point. There was no pretending it hadn’t happened. In six months there would be undeniable proof.

That night when he’d felt as if his grip on life was slipping, she’d given him a taste of why it was so important to hold on. God, she’d been so sweet. Hot and wet and welcoming. Soft all around him.

Yet another reason why he would make a suitable husband. Good sex.

Because it had been good for her. She couldn’t deny that. As clumsy and as urgent as he’d been, he’d still felt her orgasm. Now that he was healthy, he could make it even better for her.

Moaning, he leaned his head back against the seat and felt his body react to the images in his mind. It wasn’t the first time he’d gotten hard since his recovery. No, he’d had a few morning erections, which he considered a good sign that his body was healing.

Each damn one had been brought on by the memory of that night.

When he’d thought about seeing her today, when he’d thought about what might happen after he proposed—because his plan had been to propose rather than announce that they were going to marry—he’d thought that maybe that night might happen again.

The image he’d created was very different from what had actually happened. In his fantasy she was thrilled with the idea of having him as a husband. They would kiss to seal the deal and then she would have taken him to her bedroom where they could formally solidify their status as a couple.

Ben snorted. Formally solidify their status as a couple?

Truth was he wanted to screw her brains out.

He wanted another chance to see her breasts with her soft brown nipples and he wanted to slide into her body knowing that the act that they were doing had created life. Life, when he’d been so close to death.

It occurred to him that maybe he should have led with that. Maybe he should have told her how special that night was to him. How much he thought about it. How much he thought about repeating it.

It would shock her, he knew. The way he’d acted after it happened probably made it seem as if it had all been a big mistake he wanted to forget. Not something that impacted their relationship at all.

He had his reasons certainly. The biggest and most undeniable one was that, at the time, he’d made a decision he knew could cost him his life. He hadn’t wanted her to dispute that decision and he didn’t want her to think of him in any long-term capacity. On the off-chance he actually did die.

He’d been an ass. And Anna being Anna wasn’t going to tolerate such behavior. No wonder she quit.

He thought about the weeks he’d spent in quarantine at the hospital. Weeks lying in a sterile room waiting for her to get over what he’d done to her and come see him.

Only she never came. Not even after she found out she was pregnant.

Ben considered hitting something again, but he knew it was pointless. Instead he got out of the car and stood still for a moment as a wave of fatigue washed over him. He’d simply gone to Anna’s house and back, but suddenly he felt as if he’d climbed a mountain.

Focusing, he pooled his energy and concentrated on getting through the front door. That he could manage. He would not be reduced to crawling there on his hands and knees. Feeling shaky but determined, he took small, even steps until he was at the door, then through it.

Climbing the steps to his bedroom was beyond him, but the couch in his office was waiting for him. Making his way down the hall, he thought only of the end result. Himself lying prone. The couch was like a beacon calling him to it. He slid the door to his office open and with only a few final steps, collapsed onto the comfortable cushions.

Toeing off his shoes he lay down and accepted the fact that his body required regular rest. To this day he would not refer to the process of restoring his energy as a nap. Instead he referred to it merely as recovery time. And today, after facing Anna and the certain knowledge that last night hadn’t been a dream and she really was going to have his baby, he figured he was entitled to a longer recovery time.

Yes, he thought as his eyes closed and he could feel his body relax, he certainly would need to be at full strength before their next encounter. Anna was no pushover. And given her obvious reluctance to his idea that they should be married, he would have to try another stratagem.

Because before this was all over she was going to be his wife.