After taking a leak and brushing his teeth, Josh heated a cup of water in the microwave and added the disgusting instant coffee Liz kept on hand. The first sip made him shudder, but he took the mug and went outside, picking up the snow globe on his way to the door. As quietly as he could, he closed the door behind him and lowered himself to the concrete step. There were no comfortable chairs set back on a deep porch to keep the sun out of your eyes. No familiar squeak of wooden boards.
He cradled the snow globe in his hands, then shook it so he could watch the snow slowly drift over their faces. Katie’s eyes sparkled with happiness in the photo, and her cheeks and the tip of her nose were so cold they almost matched the red stripe on the Patriots pom-pom hat she’d worn that day. It made him smile, remembering how hoarse she’d been for days after the game from all the screaming she’d done.
He’d missed watching the Super Bowl with her. It had been a month since the big game, but he still couldn’t shake off the sense of loss, even if it was a dumb thing to regret. He’d watched every Super Bowl with her since he was nine years old and his dad had declared he was old enough to stay up with his brothers and sister and watch the game. Katie had been twelve and, even though it was a Sunday and a school night, Rosie had brought her to the lodge and let her watch it with them. They hadn’t missed one since, until this year. He’d watched it without her in a sports bar in Kansas City, eating a steak that hadn’t filled the hole in his gut.
He wasn’t sure how long he sat out there, making it snow for him and Katie, but his cup was empty when the door opened behind him and Liz joined him on the step. Her hair was tied back in a messy knot, and her Red Sox T-shirt made him smile. You could take the girl out of New England, but you never took New England out of the girl. It was a tight squeeze on the step, and he shifted over a bit, setting the empty mug on the ground.
“Want a sip of mine?” she asked, offering her steaming mug.
“God, no. One was enough.”
“Nasty, isn’t it?” She blew on her coffee, then took a sip. “I’m trying to cut back on caffeine, so I only have this in the house. One cup in the morning is all I drink, too. If I had good stuff, I’d drink pots of it.”
“Why the hell would you want to cut back on caffeine?”
She shrugged. “The older I get, the more trouble I have sleeping at night. Losing the caffeine helps. And stop trying to hide your snow globe from me. I already saw it.”
He’d wrapped his hands around it when she’d come out, but he should have known she wouldn’t miss it. He wasn’t even sure why he cared. Maybe he didn’t want Liz to think he was a sap. Or maybe it was just too personal to share.
“Do you talk to her?”
“I’m not so far gone I sit around talking to a picture in a snow globe.”
“No, dumbass. Katie. Do you call her? Talk to her on the phone?”
“Yeah. Like once a week we talk for a few minutes. We email and text. Just because I didn’t stay doesn’t mean we’re not friends anymore.”
“You miss her?”
Did he miss Katie? He didn’t just miss her. He ached for her. He was free to go where he wanted, when he wanted and all he wanted was her. Even during the worst of the slump he’d been in, feeling sorry for himself because they’d all abandoned him to take care of the lodge, he hadn’t felt this lonely.
He missed Rosie, too. Hell, he missed all of them. Last week, when had Mitch told him over the phone that Paige was pregnant, he’d heard the emotion in his brother’s voice and not being able to see the joy on Mitch’s face—not being there to hug him and give him a slap on the back—had twisted his gut until it burned.
He missed home.
“Josh?” Liz put her hand on his knee and he realized he’d shaken the snow globe again and was staring at it without even being aware. “Did you ask her to come with you?”
“Yeah. But, you know, she’s got the barbershop and her mom and…stuff.”
“Did you tell her you love her and wanted her to come with you, or did you make it sound like you wanted your best buddy to come with you on a road trip?”
“I told her I wanted her to come with me.”
She sighed. “But you didn’t tell her you love her.”
“Jesus, Liz. This is a little deep for first thing in the morning on one shitty cup of coffee.”
“Fine. Tell me how everybody else is doing. Mitch called you, right?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I’m happy for him and Paige. And I guess Rose and Andy are having a great time scandalizing the town by living in sin after decades of not speaking.”
“Have to admit, I never saw that one coming.”
“I don’t think anybody did. Especially Rosie.”
Liz smiled. “I’m happy for her. She deserves it. They’re doing okay with the lodge?”