“Maybe we’ll be so busy next winter they won’t be able to get a room.”
Josh didn’t want to think about next winter. That was nothing but a reminder he’d still be here next winter. And the winter after that and the winter after that. And now, thanks to the ATV trail access coming together, it would be year round. It was a good thing. He knew that in a practical, logical way. But emotionally it made him tired.
“What’s the matter, hon?”
“Nothing.” He tried to shake it off while he dumped his plate in the trash.
“I know you’re still upset about the offer on—”
“Maybe I’m still upset about it because people won’t stop talking about it. Hey, Josh, you almost escaped, but you didn’t and you just need to resign yourself to that. Maybe if everybody just let it drop, it would be a lot easier to forget.”
She shook her head, tears sparkling in her eyes, and he had to fight a sudden urge to bolt out the back door. “Escaped? Resigned? You’re more unhappy than you’re letting on.”
“I know you worry about me like a mom, Rosie, but you have to let me be.”
“I do worry about you like a mom. I also worry about my daughter.”
He reminded himself this was Rosie and managed not to raise his voice. “I’m doing the best I can to be what everybody needs me to be.”
“What about what you want to be?” she demanded, and she didn’t seem to have any trouble raising her voice.
“I don’t know what I want to be, dammit.” He stopped, inhaling what he hoped was a calming breath. “No, that’s not right. I do know what I want to be. I want to be happy. I want Katie to be happy. And that scares the hell out of me because I don’t think I can do both.”
“You can’t make Katie happy until you’re happy, Josh. That’s how it works.”
“Please, Rose, just…” He grabbed his coat off the hook by the door. “I’m going for a ride. If Katie stops by, tell her I’ll call her later, okay?”
“You shouldn’t go out on the sled alone when you’re upset.”
“I’m not going to be stupid. I just need some space. Some quiet so I can try to get my head on straight and stop being an asshole to people who love me.”
When she smiled and kissed his cheek, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “I’m trying, Rosie.”
“I know, Josh. Just remember everybody needs some help sometimes and you have people who love you, even when you’re being an asshole.”
Chapter Eighteen
Josh was surprised when he emerged from the office a little before noon on Tuesday, his head aching from hours of catching up on transferring stuff from paper to the computer, to find Mitch sitting at the table with Rosie and Andy. It struck him as ironic, seeing as how he’d just been thinking foul thoughts about his computer-happy oldest brother. Ledger books had been fine for generations, so Josh didn’t see why they weren’t fine now.
“Hey, Mitch. Come to mooch food?”
He gave a closemouthed smile and nodded, since his mouth was full of pastry.
“I called him and asked him to come over,” Rose told him. “Andy and I have something we’d like to discuss with you boys.”
Josh paused halfway to the coffeepot. What the hell was that supposed to mean? He knew Andy had been spending a lot of time with Rose lately, but that sounded as though it could be the opening of a getting-married announcement.
He loved Rosie, but he’d be pissed if he’d passed up the opportunity to sell the lodge and she up and left him.
Deciding he might need the coffee after all, he poured himself a mug before taking a seat at the table. He glanced at Mitch, who only shrugged.
“You know Andy and I have been spending a lot of time together,” Rose began. “And it’s pretty obvious he’s been spending the night lately.”
Josh and Mitch both shifted uncomfortably in their chairs. She was way too close to being the mom of the house for them to want to be a part of any conversation even hinting at sex.
“We were thinking it would make more sense if he just moved in. With me.”
Josh’s mind seemed to be having a little trouble keeping up with the conversation. So it wasn’t an engagement announcement, then. They just wanted permission for Andy to move in, from Mitch, as the oldest he guessed, and him, as the guy who ran the place.
Andy cleared his throat. “And if you guys don’t have a problem with that, it also brings up the fact I’d be here all the time and, between Rosie and I, we can run this place for the family. I can take care of stuff in exchange for my room and board so you, Josh, would be free to do…whatever you want to do.”
Josh sat back in his chair as the implications of that sank in. He’d be free to leave. He could leave Whitford, the family could keep the Northern Star and Rosie could keep her home. It was pretty much everything he wanted, tied up with a neat bow.