“It’s easier to make me out to be the asshole and walk away, and when I overstepped with Dean, you had your excuse.” He stepped inside and kicked the door closed behind him. “It’s harder to have a future together, because we’ll have to work at it and compromise.”
“You’re right that I overreacted about you going to Dean, but not about it being easy. I got scared, Ryan. Leaving Whitford and my parents and my friends behind is huge, but you and I hadn’t talked about it yet. And it’ll be hard on Nick, even though he likes you. It’s so much to wrap my head around.”
“I’d like to think I’m worth it.” He stopped and shook his head. “No, I know I’m worth it. I love you, Lauren Carpenter. I want you to marry me. I love you like no other man ever has or ever will and I promise you I’m worth the headache.”
“I’m scared.” It seemed like there were a million words in her head needing to be said, but those were the only two that came out.
“So am I. We’ve both tried this before and failed and this time...Don’t think I underestimate the impact our relationship has on Nick.”
“He’s not the only thing, Ryan.”
“Let’s hear the buts. I won’t tell you to roll with it. I won’t make jokes or try to charm my way out of answering.”
“One thing I can’t compromise on is kids. I really don’t want any more. It’s not something I’ll change my mind about.”
“Can we sit down? It feels weird and...I don’t know, confrontational, standing here like this.”
She nodded and sat on the couch. He sat on the couch, too, but further down, and she appreciated the space he left between them. She needed it.
“I’ve thought about kids since that day at my house,” he said with a quiet sincerity she’d never seen in him before. “I’ve thought about them a lot, actually. Did I always assume I’d have some? Yeah. Did I want some? Maybe. Do I need them? No. I need you. It’s that simple.”
“I’m afraid someday you’ll miss having them, though.”
“They may not be mine by birth, but I’m not going to suffer a shortage of kids,” he said, chuckling a little. “Mike and Lisa will let me borrow theirs in a heartbeat. Emma’s pregnant. I’m going to take a wild guess and say Paige will be soon. And before we know it, Nick will get married and give us grandchildren.”
Lauren groaned.
“That’s a ways down the road,” he said quickly. “But the point is, I’ll have children in my life. Judging by the way the Kowalski family procreates, probably a lot of them. And we’ll love them and play with them and then give them back to their parents so we can go home and have crazy sex with no fear of interruption.”
She wanted to believe he meant it. Looking in his eyes, she could see he believed it. Tears burned her eyes and she blinked, afraid if they started falling, she wouldn’t stop crying for days.
“I want you, Lauren.” He reached across the space between them and took her hand. “And I want Nick. I know he’s Dean’s, but there’s room for me, too. I’ve come to love that kid and I don’t want to miss out on his life.”
That started the waterworks flowing. “He loves you, too.”
“But most importantly, I love you.” He used his knuckle to brush away her tears. “I don’t want to be your you know, whatever anymore. I want to be your husband.”
With a teenager’s impeccable knack for timing, Nick walked through the front door, startling them both. She hadn’t even heard Dean’s car pull up out front. He looked at them, sitting on the couch, with Ryan holding her hand while she’d obviously been crying. “What’s going on?”
Lauren wasn’t quite sure what to say, but Ryan cleared his throat and beat her to it. “I’m trying to convince your mother to marry me.”
He frowned, his gaze bouncing back and forth between them. “Why?”
“Because I love her and want her to be my wife.”
“Yeah, I get that part. I mean, why do you have to convince her?” He looked at Lauren. “Did you say no?”
“I haven’t really answered him yet.”
“Oh. Well, I think it would be cool.”
“So do I,” Ryan said. “Very cool.”
Two against one wasn’t fair. “Nick, you do realize Ryan doesn’t live at the Northern Star, right? He has a home and a business in Massachusetts.”
“So...” Nick sighed and dropped into the chair. “You wouldn’t move to Maine?”
Ryan shook his head. “I can’t do that. My business is pretty big. I have a lot of contracts and I employ a lot of people. I can’t walk away from that to try to make a living being a third wheel at an inn that’s barely supporting itself as it is.”
“If I marry Ryan, it means you and I would move to Brookline,” she said, deciding it was best to spell it out.
He frowned. “I’ve never moved before. Or gone to a new school.”
“We understand that,” Ryan said. “You’d spend every other weekend here with your dad, and some holidays and school vacations. And you could spend summers wherever. Maybe you could stay with your dad and work at the lodge and visit us whenever you want. Especially since you’ll be driving.”