“Like me,” Hailey grumbled.
“Actually,” Paige said, “Ryan’s kind of the closemouthed one of the bunch. A genetic flaw or throwback gene or something. But anyway, I heard that, starting Sunday night when he leaves, he’ll be back to only coming up on the weekends.”
“He has to run his business. He’s been gone a month already.”
“And what are you going to do?” Hailey asked.
Lauren felt herself tensing up and tried to force herself to relax. She’d thought she was meeting Hailey for a fun girl’s lunch with Paige, so she hadn’t expected the Spanish Inquisition.
Tori chose that moment to finally stop by the table, giving Lauren a couple extra minutes to remind herself these were her best friends and of course she was going to tell them everything. That’s what best friends were for.
After they’d ordered and she’d put in her own for a grilled cheese and coleslaw, with copious amounts of coffee, she sighed and started folding and refolding her napkin. “I’m going to roll with it and see where it goes.”
Both women frowned, but it was Hailey who spoke. “That doesn’t sound very...I don’t know what word I’m looking for.”
“Committed,” Paige said. “Serious. Stable. Relationship-ish.”
Lauren snorted. “What’s not relationship-ish about it? And what, exactly, do you two think I can do about it? He has to go back to work.”
“Long-distance relationships suck,” Hailey said, even though Lauren knew for a fact she’d never been in one.
“Paige, Mitch travels and you don’t get to see him every single day, but that was still relationship-ish enough so you married him.”
“But he’s away for a few days and then home for a chunk of time. And, unlike Ryan, he has more freedom to work from home, plus he moved home from New York to here. Kowalski Custom Builders can’t move to Whitford.”
Not and survive, no. “I’d see him on weekends and holidays. And vacations.”
“Like parental visitation rights, only not,” Hailey pointed out, and Lauren had to bite down on her lip to keep from snapping at her friend.
Then the flash of anger fizzled and she found herself on the brink of bursting into tears. “Stop.”
Both women instantly went into consolation mode, but that almost made it worse.
“Just how serious are you?” Paige asked once they were all fairly certain Lauren wasn’t going to have a complete emotional breakdown at the table.
“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him,” she confessed for the first time, even to herself.
“But?” Hailey prompted.
“That’s the thing. Ryan is convinced the buts will all resolve themselves if we just roll with it.”
“But?” This time it was Paige and it made Lauren smile a little.
“How can I build a life with a guy who’s only around on weekends? And how often will he get to see Nick? The few holidays he doesn’t spend with Dean?”
“Rose is worried about how long he’ll be able to keep up with that kind of schedule—working all week, then driving up here Friday night and back on Sunday night to go back to work on Monday morning.”
Hailey nodded. “Sometimes he’s going to want to chill at home. Mow his lawn or sleep in or go out with the guys.”
They weren’t telling her anything she hadn’t already thought of, but hearing it out loud made it more real somehow. “Maybe it’s because I’ve been a single mom for so long but, if and when I get married, I don’t want to keep being a single mom. Know what I mean?”
They both nodded, but Tori appeared with their food and the conversation paused until she’d brought Hailey vinegar for her fries and refilled their coffee mugs.
“So the obvious question,” Paige asked when they were alone again, “is if you’ve considered moving to Brookline.”
“I’ve thought about it a little. But then I think about having to find a new job down there and selling my house and I have no idea how Nick would take it. He likes Ryan, but enough to move to a new state and a new school? Then there’s the fact I’d need Dean’s permission to move Nick to Mass. It makes my head hurt and I’m not going to tie myself up in knots when Ryan hasn’t even hinted at wanting us there.”
“I must be reading the wrong self-help books,” Hailey said, “because I have no idea what to tell you.”
“Me, either.” Paige pointed one of her fries at Lauren. “But I do know one thing. If Ryan loves you, nothing will stop him from being with you.”
“He hasn’t said he does. Or hinted that he does.”
“He may not realize it yet. If he’s anything like his brother, it’ll take a while to sink in.”
“And, in the meantime, I’ll get about thirty-six hours of what’s left of him after all the working and driving each week.”