“But if we’re heading toward being the kind of couple who spends family holidays together, I’d like to turn some of those question marks into periods. Or at least into the dot-dot-dots.”
“I know you have a son and family and a home and a life in Whitford. I know I have a home and a business in Brookline that I need to get back to. Four and a half hours across state lines is a big question mark, but it’s not one that can be answered today.”
“And you want kids of your own, Ryan. That’s a big one, too.”
That widened his eyes. “It’s probably a little premature to be talking about having babies.”
“No, it’s really not, since we’re talking about our relationship. Babies are relevant because you want them and I’m not having any more.”
“Oh. Did you...you know, have the surgery or whatever?”
“No, but I don’t need surgery to know I’m thirty-four years old, I have a sixteen-year-old son and I don’t want to start all over again with another baby. Trust me, that clock hasn’t ticked in years.”
“And you’re convinced I want babies?”
“I saw you with your cousins’ kids. And look around.” She waved a hand in the direction of the stairs. “You built a four-bedroom house.”
“And I still barely had enough room for the entire family when I threw Sean’s welcome-home party. Now that Mitch and Sean have wives and the babies are going to start coming, I can’t fit everybody in. I’ll be throwing sleeping bags down in the game room.”
“Don’t you usually have family get-togethers at the lodge?”
“Yeah. But Sean was going from Boston straight to New Hampshire. Liz was flying in and out of Logan with less than forty-eight hours between flights, and I live here. It made more sense for Josh and Rose to drive down than for all of us to go up.”
She wasn’t sure if he was being deliberately obtuse or if he didn’t get what she was trying to say. “My point is that you didn’t build a four-bedroom house on the off chance your family would all show up at the same time.”
“No, I built a four-bedroom house with two and a half bathrooms and a bonus room over the garage because it’s the ideal meeting of floor plan and price for this neighborhood. I’m a builder, Lauren. Everything I do is about the market and the property’s resale value.”
It all sounded very logical, but she had a hard time believing it. “I don’t think you’d be happy never having kids of your own.”
“I’ll be honest. I haven’t thought that far ahead. But I do know, without a question mark, that being with you makes me happy.”
“Being with you makes me happy, too, but—”
“Sometimes, if you stick with something and go with it, those buts have a way of working themselves out.”
She wanted to tell him it wasn’t that easy for her. She had a son and she had to consider him, too, and whether or not he might get attached to Ryan. But she knew Ryan knew that, and she knew he was too decent a guy to toy with her if he didn’t believe those buts would work themselves out.
Besides, she’d had a wonderful day and she didn’t want to bring it down any more than she had. “Self-resolving buts, huh?”
“Yeah.” He grinned, as though sensing she was ready to put the discussion to bed, if only temporarily. “Besides, you told me I might get lucky tonight.”
She laughed. “You did get lucky.”
“That was evening. Now it’s night.”
“You’re insatiable.”
“If that means I can’t get enough of you, you’re right.” He stood up and held out his hand.
It was an offer she couldn’t refuse. And maybe he was right, she told herself as he tried to pull her shirt off and walk at the same time. Instead of getting worked up and worrying, she’d go with it and hope those buts resolved themselves.
*
Ryan cursed and slapped the snooze button again. He needed a quieter alarm clock. Preferably one that had a longer snooze time, too.
“You’ve hit that four times,” Lauren muttered from somewhere deep inside the nest of covers she’d made by stealing his.
“It keeps going off.”
“And when it does, you’re supposed to get up. I swear, you’re worse than Nick. At least he keeps his clock on the far side of his room so he has to work for those few extra minutes.”
“I notice you haven’t gotten up yet.”
She snuggled deeper under the blankets. They looked warm. Too bad he didn’t have any. “I’m waiting for you to go make coffee.”
“I have one of those kinds that instantly brews a single cup.”
“Good. When my single cup is instantly brewed, I’ll get up.”
He slapped the lump he thought might be her ass, then swung his feet to the floor and scrubbed at his face. The alarm would go off again in a few minutes and she’d have to leave her cozy nest to deal with it.