Josh snorted. “And that’s what we were doing, too. See how much you guys have in common?”
Mitch managed to get Ryan by the collar before Ryan’s fist could make contact with Josh’s face, and Mitch hauled Ryan backward into his chair. “Enough. Josh, this isn’t really the time for that whole breaking tension with humor thing.”
“Why not?” Ryan rested his head back against the chair with a thump. “That’s what we do, isn’t it? Don’t know what to say or how to say it? Be funny and change the subject while they’re laughing. That’s what I did to her. You’re uncertain about the future? Hey, just roll with it. No worries. It’s only your entire fucking life I’m asking you to turn upside down, but look into my pretty blue eyes and think about it later.”
“Ryan, I—” Josh started to say.
“And you still want to talk about the future? Well, how about I go talk to your ex-husband instead. You know, the guy who treated you like shit and cheated on you in your own goddamned bed, but you still have to deal with for the rest of your life because you have a kid together? Yeah, I’ll give that guy more respect than I gave you.”
“Son of a bitch.” He picked up the warm can of beer and chucked it as hard as he could, but he didn’t see where it landed because the tears blurred his vision. “How did I fuck this up so bad?”
“You can fix it,” Mitch said. “I fucked up and walked away from Paige, too.”
“How the hell am I supposed to get in my truck tomorrow and leave her behind? Again? I can’t do it.”
“Then go tell her that.”
“Tomorrow,” Josh put in. “You’re the emotional equivalent of totally shit-faced right now, and Lauren and Hailey are probably riding high on a Ryan hatefest. Sleep on it. Let her sleep on it, too, and think about where she might have overreacted or screwed up, same as you. Tomorrow, when you’re both more sad and regretful than pissed off, then go talk to her. Tell her how you feel straight up.”
When Ryan and Mitch both stared at him with almost identical expressions of disbelief, Josh shrugged. “Unlike you two, I’ve been trapped in this house with Rosie my entire life. You pick up shit along the way.”
Mitch nodded. “He’s right. Unbelievably.”
Ryan knew it, too. As much as he wanted to go over there and make her understand, he was too raw. She would be too, and they’d end up in each other’s faces again. Now that he had a plan, maybe he could settle himself. Maybe even sleep a little, which he hadn’t done last night.
For now he needed to settle himself and not think about his entire future hinging on one conversation tomorrow. “I bet all this has Rosie baking up a storm. I really need a fucking cookie.”
*
Lauren had the worst sugar hangover of her life. She’d finally convinced Hailey to go home and had taken a shower, but she didn’t feel much better.
It couldn’t have been easy for Ryan to go to Dean, given the history between them. And although she really wished Ryan had talked to her first, instead of her ex-husband, time and an unhealthy amount of snack cakes had made her admit to herself he hadn’t done it out of disrespect for her. He’d done it because he thought it was the right thing to do. He’d done it because he loved her, and she’d kicked him in the balls for it.
Even though he’d probably meant it when he said he wouldn’t come back, she at least had to apologize—to try to make him understand why she’d reacted so badly. She couldn’t live with such an ugly ending between them.
Before she could chicken out, she pulled up his number on her phone and hit Call. By the time she heard the third ring, she thought he was going to ignore it, but then she heard his voice—quiet and tense—saying hello.
“I’d like to talk,” she said. “I want to apologize and I’d drive over and do it in person, but I don’t really want to do it in front of Rose and Josh. Though I will if you don’t want to talk on the phone.”
He was quiet for so long, any hope he might forgive her started fading, and then he cleared his throat. “I don’t want to talk on the phone. I’ll drive over to your place if Nick’s not home yet.”
“He’s not.”
“Then I’ll be right over.”
Her stomach was in knots by the time his truck pulled into her driveway and her hands wouldn’t stop shaking as she opened the door. He looked almost as rough as she did. His eyes were bruised from lack of sleep and his expression was grim.
“I’m sorry,” she told him, and stepped back to let him in.
“You were taking the easy way out,” he said in a low voice.
“Oh yeah, because this is so easy. Fun, even.”