“Need a ride?” Sam asked, putting his hand lightly on my shoulder.
Sydney, seeing this and apparently deciding that she couldn’t bear for someone else to be happy for a millisecond, jumped in. “I’ll drive her home. I’m going there anyhow. Obviously.”
Sam and I exchanged glances, and I shrugged.
“Okay,” Sam said. I’d been kind of hoping he’d insist on driving me. He kissed my cheek and walked over to his Jeep. I watched him go, feeling a lot warmer than I should have in the evening air.
“Let’s go,” Sydney said, clapping her hands together. “It’s cold out here.”
I followed her and Logan to her car and climbed into the back. Sydney started the engine, and as we sat there for a minute to let it warm up, she and Logan whispered something to each other. I ignored them. Finally, Sydney pulled out of the lot.
“So,” she said, glancing at me in the rearview mirror, “what’s up with you and Sam?”
I knew it was coming. I took a deep breath. “We’re going out, I guess,” I said. The words tasted sweet in my mouth. “But then again, you knew that,” I heard myself add. “What are you talking about?”
“Haven’t you been gossiping about it all day?” I asked her.
Sydney huffed indignantly. “I don’t gossip,” she said. “How dare you accuse me of that?”
I laughed. “Right.”
Sydney nudged my brother. “Lacey, I don’t want to burst your bubble or anything, but it can’t last, you know.”
“What?” I looked at her face in the rearview mirror. I had no idea what she was talking about.
“I mean, it’s just not a logical match,” she said.
“What on earth do you mean?” I asked.
“Well,” Sydney said slowly, like she was talking to a child, “you have to admit, it’s not like you have anything in common. Other than your dead fathers.”
The way Sydney said the words sliced into me.
“You barely know him,” I said after a minute. “How could you possibly say that?”
“Think about it,” she continued. “You’re brainy. He’s hot. And you’re up against Summer Andrews. I mean, do you really think he’s going to choose you over her in the long term?”
I had just opened my mouth to reply when my brother spoke up. “Syd, leave her alone.”
Dead silence. I was as taken aback as Sydney was. Logan never came to my defense. Not anymore. And certainly not against Sydney.
Sydney sputtered for a second. I knew she was flailing for a retort.
Logan sighed again. “We’ll talk about it later, Sydney,” he said with more finality than I’d ever heard in his voice.
“But—”
“Not now,” Logan said. Then he turned and looked out the window, effectively ending the conversation.
I turned and looked out the window too, biting my lip and trying not to smile. I didn’t know what had just happened, but somehow, Logan seemed to be back on my side, even if only a little bit.
? ? ?
Even though I knew she was just being a jerk, I couldn’t shake Sydney’s words. They had wormed their way into my brain, making me wonder if I was being na?ve to believe that what Sam and I had was real. Maybe Sydney was right. I didn’t want to think that the only reason Sam liked me was because he saw a reflection of his own pain. But maybe that was all it was.
Mom actually made it home for dinner that night, so the four of us sat down to a meal that she had “cooked”—spaghetti with sauce out of a jar and a bagged salad.
“This is nice,” Mom said as we chewed in silence. Tanner slurped a noodle noisily and looked up, the faintest trace of a smile on his face. “You know, we hardly ever eat together anymore.”
“Maybe it’s because you’re never home,” Logan said.
Mom sighed heavily. “Logan, someone has to support this family. You know I’d love to spend more time with you. It just isn’t able to work out that way right now.”
Logan was silent for so long that I thought he was going to let it go. And for a moment, I was very relieved. Dinners together were so rare that I didn’t want this one to be spoiled by a fight. But then Logan said slowly, “That’s bullshit.”
Mom flinched, like she’d been struck. “What did you say?”
“I said it’s bullshit,” Logan said.
Tanner and I exchanged glances. “Logan,” I said as my mom gaped at him. “I really don’t think–”
“Shut up, Lacey,” he cut me off. “I’m so sick and tired of everyone tiptoeing around the truth.”
“Young man,” my mother began. But her voice was shaky and lacked conviction.
“Don’t ‘young man’ me,” my brother snapped. “You don’t have the right anymore.”
“I’m your mother,” she said.
Logan shook his head. “My mother disappeared last November.”
I hated the way he was hurting my mom, but despite myself, I agreed with him. I wanted to defend her, but I couldn’t. I held my breath.
“You know, you can’t run from it, Mom,” he said. “Dad’s dead, okay? Dead, dead, dead.”