“Where’d you learn to fight like that?” Callum asked abruptly.
“I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of. Leaving here that night isn’t exactly the end of that list.”
“Jesus,” Callum huffed. “Would a straight answer kill you?”
“I hung out in some shitty bars. I hung out with some shittier people.”
“That’s it? That’s all you got?”
“For now, yeah.”
He prayed that Callum would leave it at that. He didn’t want to have to lie to him but he wasn’t ready to share the truth yet, either. Jack cleared his throat and glanced out of the windshield again. The guys he had seen at the pool table were coming out of Barney’s together, laughing as they made their way down the street. Jealousy pulled at his gut.
“That used to be us, once upon a time,” he mumbled.
Callum followed his gaze. “Feels like a hundred years ago.”
Silence buzzed around them again.
“Do you love her?”
“What?” Jack glanced at him sharply.
“You heard me.”
After a moment, Jack nodded.
“What if she doesn’t feel the same?”
“Doesn’t matter. Even if she doesn’t love me, I’m not going anywhere.”
“What if she’s with someone else?”
“Is she with someone else?”
Callum regarded him sombrely for a moment before finally shaking his head. “No. But what if she was?”
“Then I’d deal with it. It wouldn’t make me take off again, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“You sound pretty sure of yourself.”
“First you tell me I’m not convincing anyone, now you say I’m too cocky?” Jack snapped. “Make up your damn mind.”
Callum regarded him critically. “So what now?”
"I don't know. One day at a time, I guess."
Callum nodded, stony-faced.
“I can see how close you two are and I’m glad she had you in her corner. I just want you to know that I’m grateful that you were there for her.”
Jack tried to force the heartache behind the words into the background. It didn’t matter how much it hurt him to say it, it was the truth.
“I did it for her, not for you.”
“I know.”
“Tom should’ve gotten this speech, too.”
A knife twisted in his gut. “I know he should’ve.”
He thought of his father and all the things he never got to say. He saw himself sitting in his car outside the cemetery gates earlier, afraid to go in.
“I think we’re done here,” Callum said, jolting Jack out of his guilt-trip.
“Yeah,” he murmured, fumbling with the door handle. “I should go. I guess I’ll see you around.”
“I guess so.”
Jack climbed out of the car, bone-weary suddenly. He watched Callum’s car disappear down the misty street until all that were left were red tail-lights, shining like devil’s eyes in the dark. He stared down at his bruised knuckles and flexed his fist a few times, remembering Andy McLeish’s words and the anger that had sprung up from deep inside when he heard them. Glancing over at Barney’s, the neon sign glowing in the eerie mist, he couldn’t help but think of simpler times.
It’s just a drink - it’s not a date.
It had been like a mantra all day. It was Jack’s suggestion that they meet for a drink. Ally had agreed, but as the day wore on, she was starting to think she wasn’t ready for this. It was too soon – and it was Barney’s, on a weekend. She hadn’t been to Barney’s on a weekend in over a year. Last time had been a disaster. A crowded bar was no place for someone with her mobility issues.
She had been knocked over. In front of a room full of people. It was mortifying.
Yet here she was, agreeing to go back there, with him? She needed her head read.
You’re in control, remember? You can do this.
Fighting against the nerves, she turned to take stock of herself in the full-length mirror. She wore her favourite jeans and a simple long-sleeved black cashmere top. The look she was going for was understated. How she felt was under-prepared.
She hadn’t been out with Jack in public since he had come home and she suddenly felt vulnerable, remembering what happened in the diner with Maggie. The whispering, the gossiping – was Jack ready for that? Was she? Frowning, she slipped one arm out of the cuff of her crutch and pulled an earring free from her hair.
A knock on the door sent her pounding heart into overdrive. She was starting to wish she hadn’t sent Maggie away, but the nerves were starting to get to her and she needed to deal with them alone.
“I’m just a phone call away,” Maggie had said.
And she was. Which might be a good thing, depending on what happened tonight.
“I’m coming!” she called, retrieving her jacket from the bed and slipping it on. She made her way to the front door, pausing to take a deep breath before opening it. Jack stood on her porch wearing his leather jacket, a khaki shirt and jeans. He looked as nervous as she felt and it was strangely comforting.
“Hi,” he smiled shyly.
All the trepidation from a few minutes ago melted away and for a brief moment in time, the last four years seemed to fade into the background.
In spite of herself, she smiled back.
CHAPTER 11