Who the hell does he think he is, showing up like that? I told him she didn’t want to see him!
Tom’s death was like a bolt from the blue. From the very beginning of his friendship with Jack, he had taken a shine to Tom. He was everything his own father wasn’t and he was a little jealous of Jack at first. After his father had walked out on the family, he began to spend more and more time with Jack and Tom, appreciating the stable home environment and relationship that they shared, wanting to share it with them. Tom took over as the role model he never really had, even when his drunken father had been around. Losing him like this, so suddenly, left a hole that he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to fill. It was Tom who had sat with him when he broke the news to Ally about her injury. Tom had been the one to help organise her rehab placement and later, her release. He had spent many a night with Tom as they talked and drank into the early hours of the morning, discussing how they were going to help her through this.
He knew Jack had been calling Tom – he was there when the first call had come through, the day Jack disappeared. He had tried to wrestle the phone off Tom but by the time he had, Jack was gone.
He called him back immediately – against Tom’s wishes – only to go straight to voicemail. Jack’s phone had gone to voicemail from that moment on. Jack had cut him loose – cut all of them loose, including Ally. Even knowing this, Tom had been a stubborn mule, refusing to hand over Jack’s new number. No amount of shouting, needling or taunting had moved him, and eventually a tentative truce had been struck. Tom’s loyalties remained with Jack, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be there for Ally – or Callum. Reluctantly, Callum had accepted that.
Those early days had been tough. Jack was gone, but he was there and Ally needed someone she could count on. Unconsciously, he had stepped forward. At times, he had nearly buckled beneath the weight of that responsibility, and that’s when he had turned to Tom, desperately trying to keep it together. Tom encouraged him to unload his fears, not bottle them up.
Watching Ally tentatively navigating her way through her new life nearly tore him apart and no matter how courageous she tried to prove she was, he knew deep down that she was scared. He could see it, plain as day. Jack vanishing like that had done things to her soul. How could Jack just walk away from her?
Knowing that he was back just scratched away at the scab that had grown over the wound created four years earlier. Unlike everyone else, he knew why Jack had left. Unexpected? Yes – but not a mystery. He had seen it tear Ally apart and he had desperately wanted to enlighten her, but he couldn’t. He suspected the truth would be harder for her to stomach, so he had kept quiet. It wasn’t his place to tell her.
He slammed the palm of his hand against the steering wheel, wishing he had never made that promise to Ally. The thought of the funeral, of having to watch in silence as Jack stood up in front of everyone to deliver Tom’s eulogy, made him sick to his stomach. Tom deserved better.
Ally sat in the passenger seat of Callum’s car, staring out the window. She wished the church was further away than just a fifteen minute drive. She would have happily sat in the car for another hour if it meant she could avoid the inevitable for a while longer.
“You okay?”
The concern in Callum’s voice was evident, but the question was so ridiculous she ignored him. To his credit, he didn’t push the issue. Maggie and Jane sat in the back seat in silence. By the time they pulled up in front of the church, she was so tense she wasn’t sure she could move even if she wanted to. As they parked along from the church, cars already lining the street, her anxiety mounted.
“Come on,” Callum said, to no one in particular. “Let’s get this over with.”
She found herself glued to the seat. She stared out through the windshield, searching desperately for courage. One thought rang out louder than the others.
He’s here, somewhere.
Callum opened the passenger door and crouched down beside her. “It’s not too late. You don’t have to do this.”
“Yes I do,” she said, carefully controlling her voice.
“Okay,” he murmured. “If you’re sure. We’re gonna be right beside you.”
He hung her crutches over the car door and stepped back to give her room. Willing her hands to stop shaking, she pulled herself up and out of the car, locking her braces and slipping her arms into her crutches without a word.
Maggie appeared at her side, carefully draping her arm around her shoulders. “Come on, let’s get inside and find a seat.”
Callum waited, then pushed the car door closed behind her. Together, they headed down the street towards the church. Ally found herself having to concentrate harder than usual to co-ordinate her movements. Her shoulders were tense, making progress slow. She wanted to cry, such was the frustration.