Finally, he sat up, sniffing and running his hands down his face. As his vision cleared, he found himself staring at the framed photographs perched on top of the mantle, just as they had always been. Sniffing again, he dragged himself up out of the couch and made his way over for a closer look. Standing in front of the mantle, his gaze roamed over the photos, one by one.
He shook his head in amazement. Was it loyalty or pure stubbornness that made his father keep these here? Their world had been turned upside down, yet his father had obviously refused to concede defeat.
Faces smiled out at him, oblivious.
His parents on their wedding day; his mother holding him as a toddler; he and Callum, their arms around each other, grinning; a group photo of himself, Ally, Callum, Maggie and Jane; his graduation, and he and Ally.
He picked up the frame and ran his fingers over her face. They were both smiling, carefree, glowing with happiness. It was a snapshot from another life.
He recalled his conversation with Maggie earlier, the empty hallway behind her and the wooden ramp leading up to Ally’s front door.
Things were perfect one minute, and then suddenly they weren’t. In a split second, their world had come crashing down.
Ally yawned blearily at her third cup of coffee. The pain in her back had gone, thankfully, and the medication had left her more or less clear-headed, which was both a blessing and a curse.
The doorbell woke her out of her reverie. At this time of the morning, it could only be Callum. She sighed, withdrawing from the table and making her way slowly to the front door.
Reaching up to open the door, Callum’s tired face greeted her and she made an attempt at a smile.
“Morning,” he said, leaning down to give her a quick hug. He stood up and headed for the kitchen. “Wasn’t sure you’d be up. I can smell coffee.”
She closed the door and turned to follow him. “Come in. Help yourself.”
He poured himself a cup in silence and she resumed her place at the table.
“Refill?” he offered, holding the jug aloft.
She nodded, pushing her cup towards him and watching as the steaming liquid filled it.
He replaced the jug and turned to lean against the kitchen counter, taking a brief sip and running his eyes over her face, into her soul. “You look like hell.”
She shrugged, hands wrapped around the cup in front of her. “Thanks, that’s always good to hear. They teach you that at charm school?”
He shrugged, unfazed. “You get any sleep last night?”
As she searched for a suitable answer, he settled himself in the chair opposite her.
“Some. You?”
“About the same.” He took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “I’ve been thinking. We don’t have to go to the funeral.”
“Right.”
“I’m serious. Look, maybe we can go out to the cemetery afterwards, and say our goodbyes to him in private?”
She frowned, waiting for him to expand.
“It’s this whole thing with Jack. I just thought that maybe if we avoided the church, you wouldn’t have to see him at all. Wouldn’t that be a better solution, all round?”
“I’m not hiding from him,” she said determinedly, ignoring the voice in her head that told her she had done just that, and only yesterday.
“Not hiding from him is one thing. Seeing him, talking to him, is something else entirely. Are you ready for that?”
“Look, I appreciate the thought but I need to be there – I need to do this. I need to say goodbye properly. I just want to get it over with. Get in, get out, come home.”
“Okay,” he said after a few moments. “I get it. I just wanted to make sure.”
She knew Callum had to be dreading this as much as she was, and for the same reasons. Seizing her moment, she jumped in.
“If you do see him today, can you promise me you’ll steer clear? Don’t start anything – not today.” He looked about to object so she cut him off. “I know how you feel – I do. I just think that we need to make an effort to keep things under control, for Tom. Today is all about him, not me or you or even Jack. We need to respect that.”
“What do you think I’m gonna do?”
“I know you, remember? I know how hard this is for you, I know how you feel about him. I’m asking you to promise me – please? Don’t do anything stupid today. Think of Tom – stay away from Jack today, for Tom’s sake.”
Callum stared back at her, mulling it over.
“Please?”
Finally, he nodded. “I won’t go looking for him – that, I can promise. But if he tries to talk to me – if he comes anywhere near you – I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself. I’m sorry but that’s the best I can do.”
She nodded, reaching over to lay her hand on his. Part of her didn’t imagine that Jack would want to come anywhere near any of them today. But then she remembered him talking to Maggie yesterday and it gnawed away at her. She could do this – go to Tom’s funeral, say goodbye – but only if she didn’t have to talk to Jack. Seeing him would be hard enough but talking to him was a whole different ballgame and she didn’t have her game face ready yet.