“Thank you.”
Callum wanted to kill Jack for vanishing like that – she knew it, he had told her so often enough, back when they still talked about him. None of them could understand why he did it, it was so unlike him. He had rejected them – all of them – and it hurt. It didn’t get any easier to understand over time, either. You just pushed the uncertainty way down deep and got used to not knowing. She could see the hurt and frustration building in him over the years – the sense of betrayal that she felt, she knew he felt too. Jack wasn’t just hers to lose – he was Callum’s best friend. He had been rejected, too.
She loved him like a brother, but Callum had a temper that was well documented. Not so long ago, he had overheard Andy McLeish make some smart-ass, back-handed comment about her in Barney’s bar and he had felt obliged to defend her honour. His explanation for what followed had not held much sway in court and he had been lucky to escape with anger management counseling and what was tantamount to a good-behaviour bond – a miracle in itself, taking into account his existing record. He joked afterwards that it was worth it, but she hadn’t seen the funny side. The last thing she wanted was for him to end up in court again, even though she suspected he would think Jack was worth the jail time.
“I never really thought he’d come back, not even for the funeral,” Callum said, interrupting her thoughts. “He seemed pretty determined to keep this town in his rear-view mirror.”
She nodded silently, thinking back over the past four years and all the times she wished he would come back. And now that he was here, it was all wrong. Tom wasn’t here to help smooth things over. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
She glanced up to find him staring at her. “What?” she frowned, afraid she had unconsciously vocalised her thoughts.
“I don’t know – you tell me.”
It was like he could read her mind sometimes, and it scared her. She pushed all thoughts of Jack aside with a mental sweep, just in case.
“I had the running dream again.” The moment the words had left her lips, the dream came flooding back.
“What happened this time?”
It unnerved her sometimes, having a giant hole in her memory, entire days gone. Her dreams varied wildly. Callum had told her what happened that night, but her brain chose to fill in the gaps in any number of weird and wonderful ways. Callum was always honest with her, pointing out what really happened and dismissing other details as pure fantasy. Her heart swelled with gratitude.
“I started off in the park. Then I ran along River Road.”
She remembered the soles of her feet tingling as they relentlessly hit the asphalt.
“Then what happened?”
“I saw the ambulance from the turn-off. The lights were flashing. No one was around. As I got closer, the ambulance was empty. Then I saw the car.” She shook her head, the image of the pile of mangled metal that had once been Jack’s pride and joy burned into her brain. “And I saw us.”
“And then?”
“You were trapped under the car. Jack and I were trying to get you out. There was blood everywhere.”
Callum reached for her hand, enclosing it with his own. “That’s just your over-active imagination making stuff up again. It didn’t really happen.”
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
“You okay?”
She nodded again, taking a few moments to rein in her emotions. “Yeah. I just wish today was over.”
CHAPTER 4
“Be not afraid of growing slowly; be only afraid of standing still.”
- Chinese Proverb
Callum left Ally’s overwhelmed with a sense of impending doom. He wanted to punch something – or more to the point, someone. Specifically, Jack. Even more specifically, he wanted to rip Jack’s head off his shoulders and ram it down his selfish neck. He climbed into his car and slammed the door shut with more force than he intended. He sat there for a moment, gripping the keys in the ignition. Finally, he gunned the engine and pulled away from the curb.
He was grateful that Maggie was there when Jack had finally fronted up, because Ally had made it clear she wasn’t ready. He wondered if she ever would be. He had no idea how much of what she was feeling was grief over Tom’s death, and how much was anxiety over Jack’s return. The two were clearly linked.