A Headstrong Woman

chapter Twenty-two

Alexandria was puzzling over what to wear to her brother’s wedding when there was a knock on the door downstairs. Jonathon was in the house and she heard him answer it. When she recognized Tristan’s voice she moved downstairs; she knew that now, with her husband present, was the time to tell Tristan she was married. He had been out of town on Sunday when the public announcement had been made.

“So what I’ve been hearing is true then?” she heard Tristan inquire of Jonathon.

“What have you been hearing?” Jonathon returned as Alexandria stepped into parlor where the men stood. Their attention shifted to her.

“Hello, Tristan,” Alexandria greeted quietly.

“Did you marry a cowhand? I don’t understand, Alexandria…” Tristan seemed truly perplexed.

“You don’t have to understand; it was my decision to make,” Alexandria explained without apology.

“I see,” he said gravely as he twirled his hat in his hands. “I wish you both the best of luck. Good day,” he slipped around them and left the house.

“That went better than I expected,” Alexandria admitted.

“Thank you, Alexandria.”

“For what?”

“What you said about choosing, I know Tristan had more to offer and considering your motives for marriage I can see why others would be perplexed.”

“I’m not interested in money,” Alexandria reminded Jonathon.

“I know that,” he took her in his arms.

“Are you gonna kiss Mama again?” a little voice asked from the doorway. Jonathon laughed before kissing Alexandria with an exaggerated smack on the lips. Lilly joined them and lifted her arms. Jonathon kept one arm around Alexandria and claimed Lilly with other.

“Bear hug!” Jonathon called as he squeezed Lilly between him and Alexandria until Lilly let out a peel of laughter. Alexandria had to admit that at that moment, her heart felt pretty full.

***

Alexandria smiled as she watched her brother and his new bride receive their well-wishers after the wedding. Her brother looked as though he had just stolen the moon and stars and gotten away with it. She suspected that he felt he just had. Carolyn was glowing. Alexandria hugged her and welcomed her to the family.

“Thank you, congratulations on your own marriage; I’ve been so busy with my own wedding plans that I don’t think I’ve said that yet. He seems to really care for you,” Carolyn responded her voice low and for Alexandria’s ears only.

“He takes good care of me,” Alexandria smiled. “I wish you both a blessed union, Carolyn; I know my brother is head over heels in love with you,” she smiled before glancing back to where her husband was shaking Michael’s hand and smiling at the younger man. Michael blushed at something Jonathon said and a moment later, his retort had Jonathon laughing.

Carolyn watched them warily. “I’m not sure I want to know what they’re talking about,”

Alexandria laughed, “With Jonathon involved most likely not. Best wishes, Carolyn.”

Alexandria moved on and waited for Jonathon to catch up with her a few minutes later.

“What were you and Michael laughing about back there?”

“I offered to kidnap his bride and send her into town so he could follow,” he admitted.

“Jonathon!” she protested on a laugh. “What did he say?”

“That if I could pull it off he would be grateful,” he smiled. Alexandria, her eyes twinkling, laughed. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Jonathon’s smile widened. “You enlist Anna’s help and I’ll get Ted.”

“Give me about ten minutes.”

“You’ve got it,” he dropped a kiss on her nose. Alexandria first sought out her sister before readying Michael’s buggy. A few minutes later, Carolyn, her look one of concern, rounded the church.

“Anna said you needed help,” Carolyn frowned.

“I need you to step inside the buggy please,” Alexandria instructed.

“Why?” Carolyn asked as she complied.

Alexandria had known she would, it was in Carolyn’s nature. Alexandria closed the door and tapped the side of the carriage. Anna had talked Frank Wilson into giving the bride a ride into town and returning with the mount they would put Michael on in a matter of minutes. He smiled at Alexandria, tipped his hat, and started forward.

“Your groom will be right behind you,” Alexandria called.

She could hear Carolyn’s laughter as the buggy started from the churchyard. Five minutes later, Jonathon informed Michael that Carolyn needed him and led him to where Ted had a mount waiting, Alexandria and Anna stood to the side looking innocent.

“Where is she?” Michael looked perplexed.

“About five minutes ahead of you, if you hurry you can catch up,” Jonathon informed him. Michael’s face slowly broke into a smile.

“I knew I was going to like having you as a brother-in-law,” he joked as he mounted the horse. “Thanks, I’ll see you all later,” he called as he started after his bride.

“Where is your brother going?” Shirley asked her daughter and son-in-law.

“He’s pursuing his bride,” Alexandria smiled.

“You didn’t?” Shirley laughed. “Alexandria, I should have never told you that story.”

“It was his idea,” she defended herself.

Jonathon smiled. “I’m afraid I’m the guilty party, Shirley; though Alexandria, Anna, and Ted were accomplices.”

“Clay’s best friend arranged my bride napping and I thought she had stolen the idea from my stories,” Shirley told him.

“Nope,” Jonathon smiled. “I took a look at the crowd and took pity on them. If you hang around until you’ve spoken with everyone it would take forever.”

“I guess I’ll go spread the word that they’re gone,” Shirley said as she turned back toward the crowd. Alexandria and Jonathon followed her. Anna started to but was stopped by Ted.

“Why do you avoid me, Anna?” he asked pointedly.

Anna frowned at him.

“Do you dislike me?”

“No, in fact I find you very attractive and like what I know about you,” she answered honestly. She felt that if he was brave enough to ask that she owed him an honest answer.

“Then why do you avoid me?”

“Ted, you are a really nice guy and you deserve… I am capable of acting in a highly inappropriate way, just ask your brother,” she said and turned to leave, but not before Ted caught a glimpse of tears in her eyes. Ted frowned after her before going in search of his brother.

“What did you do to Anna?” he demanded after he had pulled Jonathon aside.

Jonathon frowned at Ted in complete confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“She says that she is capable of acting in what she calls ‘a highly inappropriate way’. What does she mean?” his eyes were snapping. Jonathon smiled and surveyed his brother with a raised brow.

“I don’t find this amusing. What happed between you two?”

“What’s going on?” Alexandria asked.

“This is private, Alexandria,” Ted never even glanced at her.

“Stay, I have nothing to hide from my wife,” Jonathon countered.

“What is this about?” Alexandria demanded.

“Why does your sister think my brother would know about her ability to act in an inappropriate way?” his tone was clipped.

“She had a crush on him.” Alexandria was the one to answer.

“I don’t think that explains it,” Ted countered. “Did you sweet talk and kiss her or talk her into something?”

Jonathon laughed at his brother’s question.

“Ted you have really got this all wrong,” Alexandria smiled at her brother-in-law.

“Do I?” he demanded. “Are you certain that he…?”

“Ted, listen to me, I think I know what Anna was referring to, however, even if I didn’t; I do know that it would have been awfully difficult for him to be seducing my sister when he spent all his time with me stealing late night kisses and giving me rides back to the ranch when my own horse was right there.”

“Wait a minute now,” Jonathon protested, “you make it sound like…”

“What was Anna referring to?” Ted asked more calmly.

“The night that Nick attacked me Anna was having a particularly hard time dealing with not knowing how Jonathon felt about her. He was sleeping in the parlor in case Nick tried coming back, or rather trying to, and Anna came in to confront him and ask how he felt about her. She also kissed him. No more, no less. He gently set her back and explained that he felt only friendship for her. She feels that she acted in an untoward manner and maybe she did, but she got the answer she needed. Ask her and she’ll tell you the same,” Alexandria took up for her husband.

“Why were you laughing at me?” Ted asked Jonathon.

“Because, she’s really gotten under your skin,” he grinned.

Ted scowled at his brother before turning and walking off.

“Now about these accusations,” Jonathon turned to his wife.

“What accusations? Everything I said was true.”

“I only stole a couple of kisses before we were married.”

“It was two separate occasions but more than one kiss each time,” she informed him as she turned and walked away. Jonathon followed her, not ready to let the matter drop. “Come to think of it you kissed me the day you proposed too,” she added thoughtfully.

“That doesn’t count, I had the right to then,” he informed her and admired her as she laughed; her cheeks were bright with color.

Anna was helping gather empty plates when Ted found her and asked to speak with her. She followed him; her heart was starting to pound as he led her to the schoolhouse steps a short distance away from the church. She waited while he brushed dirt off the top step for her. After she was seated, he sat down beside her.

“I talked to my brother, well after I yelled at him first. I kind of misunderstood what you meant, but it’s cleared up now,” his cheeks were rather red.

Anna’s eyes widened.

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is: I think you’re being overly hard on yourself. So you kissed a guy and declared your undying love and were rebuked. I threw myself at a widow,” he admitted. “I’m not doing this right, I mean it doesn’t bother me,” he said impatiently. He waited for her reply.

Anna looked away from Ted and toward the remaining members of the wedding party who were cleaning up. “What are you saying, Ted? That you’d like to call on me?”

Ted smiled, “That sums it up.”

“Okay,” she agreed with a smile.

“I’ll be seeing you then,” he said as he stood and began backing away. He stumbled over a tree root, righted himself, and waved before turning and hurrying away.

Anna, surprised and delighted by the shyer and less sure side of Ted, smiled after him. Anna was still smiling as she stood and rejoined the group of working women.

***

Alexandria stood on the upstairs porch watching lightening dart around the peeks of the mountains in the distance. The sky was dark and the mountains had a sickly green glow about them. Things had been quiet around the ranch over the past couple of months, almost too quiet. She would like to think that the trouble was over but something deep inside her, a premonition of dread said it wasn’t over yet. She watched a streak of lightening fork out several directions, retreating and retracing its path several times before it died out; she shuddered as her hand came to her stomach. She had planned on going to the doctor today to find out if her suspicions were correct. A low ominous rumble of thunder swept down the mountain and raced toward her almost as if forewarning that winter followed the storm on the mountain. What would the winter hold?

“Enjoying the show?” Jonathon asked as he came to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her. Alexandria laid her arms over Jonathon’s and leaned back into him.

“Be careful,” she requested quietly.

“I will be; where did that come from, Alexandria?”

“I have a bad feeling,” she admitted.

“About what?”

“I’m not sure,” she admitted.

“Ted proposed to Anna.”

“He did?” Alexandria asked and glanced up at Jonathon.

“He did, he wants to marry her before winter sets in. He had put in an offer on a ranch with the money he’d set back but it fell through so I’m not sure what he’s planning now. He said something about going west.”

“What…he can’t, I mean Anna…”

“I know how you feel. Tell me, Alexandria, what would you think about taking on a partner around this place? It would be nice to be able to share some of the responsibilities.”

“And I suppose that you have a partner in mind,” she asked with a smile as she turned in his arms to face him.

“Yes, actually,” he smiled in return.

“I think it’s a great idea,” she told him before grimacing and placing a hand over her stomach.

“You okay?” Jonathon inquired.

“Yes, nothing major, in fact, something small…I think I don’t know for sure yet,” Alexandria smiled.

“Really?” Jonathon placed his hand over her stomach and smiled down at her.

“I’m late, I’ve never been late before and I have all the symptoms.”

“You need to be sure you get extra rest,” Jonathon admonished her.

“I’ll try but Millie announced she’s leaving.”

“Why?”

“Her sister’s sick and she’s the only family she has.”

“We’ll start looking for help, when is she leaving?”

“In a couple of weeks,” Alexandria shared.

“That’s not much time,” Jonathon commented. “I’ll go to town tomorrow.”

“Can I go with you; I wanted to see Dr. Carver?”

“Sure. Alexandria,” Jonathon started hesitantly.

“What is it, Jonathon?”

“I haven’t been completely honest with you,” his blue eyes were dark as he held her gaze.

Alexandria swallowed hard. Her heart accelerated; she was afraid of what he had to tell her.

“I love you,” he shared and watched her eyes close. Behind them lightening split the sky and rain began to pour.

Alexandria felt as if it were her heart that had split open and not the sky. “Why? Why would you marry me knowing that…?”

“I couldn’t lose you.”

“Jonathon…”

“You think I should have sat back and let you marry a stranger? That I should have lain out there in the bunkhouse not saying a word and torturing myself with the thoughts of another man touching you?” he asked her. Alexandria shuddered at the thought of another man touching her and frowned. “But no one would have been hurt,” she said rather lamely.

“I would have only you would have never known it.”

His words made her heart ache. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve better.”

“You could have had any woman in the area, why me?” she demanded.

“Because I love you, Alexandria, because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the kind of person the heart sees and falls for.”

“What?” Alexandria’s brows crinkled in confusion.

“I see you with my eyes and I like what I see, but if I didn’t see a heart that my heart could love your beauty wouldn’t matter.”

“I feel guilty having someone as special as you are and not even being able to say I return your feelings,” she informed him.

Jonathon smiled. “You have an odd way of looking at the world, Alexandria. What’s so special about me? I’m just a cowhand who fell for his boss.”

“No, you’re not. You are one of the most considerate and rare men I know; do you know how few men would have helped me and looked out for me without smothering me,” she asked incredulously.

Jonathon caressed her cheek and smiled at her. “That’s a high compliment, Alexandria; thank you. Do you know what I love about you?” he asked her and watched her shake her head. “I love the way your whole face lights up when you smile, I love the way your eyes flash when you’re angry and that chin comes up. I love the way you square your shoulders when you feel the most vulnerable. I love the way you love a little girl that isn’t even your own like she is. I love that you’re close to your family and think of others first…I love you, just you for who you are,” he informed her rather passionately.

Alexandria had tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispered in torment.

“You haven’t and that you’re concerned for me demonstrates what I mean. You’re a great person, Alexandria.”

“Jonathon,” Alexandria stared at the buttons on Jonathon’s shirt a moment before forcing herself to meet his gaze, her cheeks were already stained pink. “I’m glad I’m having your baby,” she informed him.

Jonathon kissed her passionately before pulling her into his arms and holding her.

Alexandria closed her eyes and clung to Jonathon. She would be lost without him, she realized. Did she love him? Was this what love felt like between a man and a woman? Before she could contemplate it further shouts reached them. They turned to see Ted racing toward the house.

“Come on,” Jonathon said as he turned and led Alexandria into the house. It was then that he noticed the wind had died and frowned. Ted met them at the top of the stairs.

Alexandria felt disoriented; the house seemed dark for midday.

“Get Lilly and get in the cellar,” Ted ordered. “There’s a tornado coming this way!”

“Dear God,” Alexandria breathed as she dashed into Lilly’s room and scooped the sleeping child into her arms. Millie was already standing in the pantry, the trap door to the cellar standing open. When she spotted them coming she preceded them in and took Lilly. Alexandria climbed down the steps and turned to her husband expectantly.

“Stay here, Alexandria; for Lilly and the baby stay here. I’ll be back; I promise,” Jonathon said before closing the door.

“Jonathon!” Alexandria screamed and started toward the steps.

“Come on, Alexandria,” Millie said gently as she took her boss by the arm and led her to a barrel and sat her there. “He’ll be fine; Lilly needs you now,” Millie instructed as she placed Lilly in her arms. Alexandria hugged Lilly to her. Why had Jonathon left her like that?

She was angry with him; furious even.

What if something happened to him?

The noise outside the house intensified, it sounded as though a train was coming close to the house, a low moan and a high screeching its terrifying companions. Alexandria could hear things hitting the sides of the house above and moaning, creaking, and the sound of breaking glass. The sound intensified and then moved further away. Alexandria felt like a limp rag by the time Millie suggested they emerge from their shelter.

The door opened freely and the two women slowly climbed into the pantry; they both eyed the door to the kitchen warily. The day had been unnaturally warm and all the windows open, were there windows left? Was there a home outside that door?

“Well let’s see how bad it is,” Millie opened the door. The kitchen was a mess, chairs scooted out of place, dishes and pots scattered over the floor, but the room intact. A quick survey of the rest of the home turned up two missing windows and a mess in almost every room from where the wind had tossed things around. The house was over all intact; she returned down stairs to share the good news with Millie.

“Can you watch Lilly?” she requested after she had relayed her findings.

“You know I will,” Millie assured her. Alexandria hurried outside and noted the mess around her. She could see the path the tornado had taken several hundred feet from the house. Several trees had been twisted and snapped and tin and other debris, from where she wasn’t certain, clung to the tops of the remaining trees. She noted the barn was intact and stopped Rusty as he rushed past her.

“Have you seen Jonathon?” she asked him.

“He’s in the barn,” Rusty related before continuing on his way. Alexandria stood rooted to her spot. She had intended to go see him but found she suddenly didn’t want to, instead she turned back to the house and threw herself into cleaning up the mess that was left behind.

Jonathon helped Sparky ease onto a bale of hay and examined the younger man’s leg. He had been the first to make a dash for the house to warn them the tornado was coming and had been rewarded with a large splinter of wood in his thigh.

“The wind just hurled it at me,” Sparky said on a gasp.

“Harold, could you go for Dr. Carver? Here, Chris; hold this cloth there would you? Has anyone seen my wife yet?” he asked the men who had gathered around him.

“She was just outside asking about you,” Rusty shared. “We’ll see to things here; you go on,” the older man offered.

“Thanks, Rusty,” Jonathon said with a hand on the man’s shoulder before he moved toward the house.

“You okay, Millie?” Jonathon asked as he poked his head into the kitchen. Lilly sat at the table a glass of milk untouched in front of her. She jumped up when she saw Jonathon and ran to him.

“We fared just fine,” Millie assured him.

Jonathon turned from the kitchen and checked for Alexandria down stairs before finding her upstairs in one of the extra bedrooms. She was cleaning up broken glass from one of the windows and had gathered several scattered items and piled them on the bed to be sorted through.

“I’m sorry, Alexandria; I was going to come back to the house after I helped loose the horses. They didn’t stand a chance if the barn took a hit. By the time we had turned them out the twister was on us,” Jonathon explained as he approached his wife.

Alexandria glanced up and he caught a glimpse of hurt and something else in her eyes before she turned her attention back to the mess in front of her.

“I’m fine,” she responded, though Jonathon could tell she wasn’t. He had caught a glimpse of the same desperation in her expression that had been in Lilly’s when she had hurled herself into his arms but Alexandria wasn’t allowing herself that comfort.

“Alexandria, I’m sorry,” he said again and watched helplessly as she continued to clean.

“I said I’m fine; there’s a mess to be cleaned up in case you haven’t noticed.”

“And it’ll still be there in a few minutes from now,” he reminded her. He set Lilly on the bed and moved to his wife. “Alexandria, don’t shut me out!” he pleaded as he took her by the arms and pulled her close. Alexandria remained stiff in his arms a moment before clinging to him.

“Mommy’s scared of storms,” Lilly commented.

Jonathon glanced at the top of his wife’s head and wondered how he’d missed that.

“I’m so sorry, I should have been there with you,” Jonathon said as he led her to the bed, sat down and pulled her into his lap.

Lilly giggled beside him. “Mommy doesn’t fit in your lap.”

“She doesn’t?” Jonathon asked with a smile. “I think she does,” he countered as he invited his stepdaughter to snuggle against him. She cuddled against his side and raised wide blue eyes to his.

“Daddy.”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“It was real scary,” Lilly admitted.

Jonathon’s heart turned over at her admission. All the horses and cattle in the world couldn’t match the value and importance of these two.

“But I’m glad the horsies are okay,” she added almost as an afterthought.

“Do you think my family’s okay?” Alexandria asked Jonathon.

“Ted’s on his way over there if he’s not there already,” he shared; Alexandria nodded against his neck. “Why don’t you two take a nap?”

“I need to clean up…”

“I’ll clean up the mess in here; you need to rest.”

“I’m fine,” Alexandria persisted.

“The doc’s not here to order you to bed so I am,” Jonathon informed her.

“I don’t think I want to be up here by myself.”

“Then you lay on the settee and I’ll pull two chairs together for Lilly and you two can rest in the parlor closer to where Millie will be working,” he suggested.

“Is Mommy sick?” Lilly asked her small brow scrunched up in concern.

“No, Lilly, we haven’t found out for sure from the doctor, but we think you may be getting a little brother or sister,” Jonathon shared. Lilly scrambled onto her knees and smiled at him.

“Really?”

“We think so.”

“I want a little brother,” she declared.

“Well, we don’t get to decide if you get a brother or sister but either way I know you’ll be a good big sister.”

“Oh I will, I’ll help and I won’t get into things,” she promised. “You know I’m real lucky.”

“How’s that?” Jonathon asked her with a smile.

“I got to have two mommies and two daddies and lots of grandma’s and grandpas and aunts and uncles and now I get to have a little brother or a sister. Do you think we can get whichever one we don’t get this time later?” she requested. Jonathon chuckled and could hear Alexandria doing the same.

“I think so, but time will tell,” Jonathon told her.

“What does that mean?” she asked, her little nose wrinkled.

“It means be patient my little pixie.”

“Oh,” Lilly said with a dejected sigh. Patience was not her strong point.

“You want to do your first big sister help?”

“Now?” Lilly asked with wide eyes.

“Now.”

“What do I need to do?”

“You need to go get a pillow and blanket from your bed, take them down stairs and wait for me. I need you to set a good example for your Mommy, she thinks she has to do everything at once but right now she needs extra rest for the baby.”

“I can do that,” Lilly nodded and scrambled off the bed.

“That was low,” Alexandria informed him as she looked up into his face.

“I’m just trying to take care of you, Alexandria. I’ve already failed you once today,” he said as he stood and placed her back on her feet.

“No, you didn’t, I was being…”

“Alexandria, you are far more important to me than horses and had something happened to me…the thought of you working yourself to the bone on this place again, especially now,” Jonathon stopped, his eyes suspiciously moist as he swallowed hard and tried to regain his composure. “I promise to be more careful in the future. Today I reacted from adrenaline; I didn’t even stop and think about it.”

“We’re all okay, that’s the important thing,” Alexandria reminded him.

“I’m glad we’re all okay, now go set an example for your daughter who is trying real hard to be big right now,” he encouraged her.

Alexandria smiled before turning to go.

Jonathon moved to the parlor and scooted two chairs together for Lilly while Alexandria got a pillow and blanket. A thunderstorm had moved in, though it contained none of the steam the other had possessed, both Lilly and Alexandria looked toward the window warily.

“It’ll be fine, I won’t be far away and I’ll be watching things; I promise,” Jonathon assured them before kissing each on the cheek and leaving the room. Alexandria lay down and pulled the blanket over her close. She had gotten a glimpse of what it would mean to lose Jonathon and it had scared her. Alexandria squeezed her eyes shut against the lightening outside and let her tears flow. She was so scared of loving him and losing him.