A Headstrong Woman

chapter Seventeen

Alexandria dressed for work with leaden limbs. Between the events of the night before and loss of sleep, she wanted nothing more than to climb back into bed. After leaving Jonathon, she had tossed and turned for hours, her mind troubled by the changes in their relationship. He shouldn’t be touching her and kissing her as he had and she shouldn’t be allowing it, enjoying it even. She had been blissfully unaware that she could feel such things and wanted that back. She sighed as she shoved her hat on her head and moved out of her room to dress Lilly. She arrived in the kitchen to find Millie bustling about as usual and a subdued Anna standing at the stove. Her sister appeared to have been crying and looked as exhausted as Alexandria felt.

“Has Jonathon gotten up yet?” she asked as she started setting the table. Anna’s shoulders rose and fell in a quick shrug.

Alexandria frowned.

“If he has I haven’t see him,” Millie answered.

Alexandria turned and went to the parlor to wake her foreman. She smiled at the sight that greeted her. He was sprawled on the too small settee, one arm over his head, the other across his chest, and one foot on the floor. He sported the beginnings of a beard and her fingers itched to rub it; she resisted. She had always loved rubbing her dad’s unshaved cheeks in the morning, however that action would be entirely too familiar with a man who wasn’t her relation.

“Jonathon,” she shook him gently.

She hated to wake him.

Jonathon moaned; his eyes opened slowly. When he opened his eyes to find Alexandria leaning over him he was struck with the urge to pull her close and hold her; he knew better.

“Good morning,” he said sleepily.

“Breakfast is almost ready,” she stepped back to allow him room to get up.

“I’ll have to go make myself presentable,” he told her as he struggled with his boots.

“You’re fine, just come eat,” she told him.

Jonathon rubbed at his stubbled jaw and frowned. “I’m not presentable…”

“Jonathon, Millie is a widow, I’m a widow; Anna has a father and brother, what is so shocking about some whiskers? You’re worse than a woman about your appearance,” she accused.

“You look tired,” he noted.

“And you look wide awake,” she smiled.

“I like bantering with you, Alexandria,” he informed her; then added thoughtfully, “maybe too much.”

“What?” Alexandria frowned.

“Nothing,” he said as he stood.

Alexandria let the comment go.

After breakfast, Jonathon shaved and changed before he and Alexandria joined the men on the range. Each of the men looked over her bruised face and fought against anger. Nick had been the only one among them that would even consider hitting a lady. Sparky had a few bruises himself Alexandria noted as he approached her.

“Alex, I’m sorry none of us was here to help you when you needed it. I just wanted to tell you that none of the rest of us would ever offer to harm you,” he assured her.

Alexandria smiled at him. “I know that, Sparky. Nick has made me uncomfortable for some time. How old are you?”

“Twenty-two.”

“How old were you when you came?” she asked with a frown. She could remember him showing up in town years earlier.

“I was fifteen, just turned. I had run away from an abusive stepfather. I stayed until my Mom died and my older sister married, then I struck out. Elijah took me in, showed me the ropes… I have a lot that I owed Elijah,” he said quietly.

“Do you find my being here and my attending yesterday’s festivities inappropriate? You respecting Elijah as you do.”

“No, Alex. I don’t begrudge you any happiness you can find. I wish you the best,” he said sincerely.

Alexandria smiled at him. “Thank you, Sparky. Is that a nickname?”

“Yeah, Elijah gave me that nickname, said all it took was a spark to set off my temper, then started calling me Sparky,” he admitted with a boyish grin. “I manage my anger better now than I used to though. At least most the time,” he added as he rubbed his bruised jaw. “I swore when my Mama died that I’d never stand by and let another man hit a woman….” his voice trailed off; his face was anguished.

“What’s your real name?”

“Wesley, Wesley Smith.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Wesley,” she extended her hand.

Sparky studied her a moment, smiled, and took her hand.

***

Alexandria rode silently beside Jonathon; her thoughts occupied, and body sagging. Jonathon had bullied her into coming back to the house for lunch and an afternoon of rest. She had been about to fall asleep in the saddle.

Jonathon watched Alexandria and wondered what she was thinking; she looked troubled. At the house, Jonathon reached for her and lifted her down. He felt her tense; her gaze pinned on something or someone over his shoulder, and turned to see what had disturbed her. Lane, staring at her in disbelief, stood at the bottom of the porch steps.

“What happened to your face?” his scathing gaze slid over her.

“One of my men attacked me; he’s moved on now.”

“Moved on? Are you crazy? Look at you; this is no way for a lady to dress! I told you that you’re ruining your reputation, do you not care?”

“Not particularly,” she shrugged.

Jonathon silently applauded her.

“I have a ranch to run, Lane; I’ll do whatever is necessary to do that.”

“Do you know what people in town are saying?”

“I thought we already covered this, I don’t care what people think. I’m going to raise my daughter and run this ranch to the best of my ability. It’s the only option open to me.”

She had said the wrong thing.

“The only option open to you?” Lane exploded. “I want to marry you, instead you insist on ruining your good name!”

“She has done nothing to ruin her good name; it’s busy bodies and gossips who are hurting her reputation,” Jonathon stepped in.

“You stay out of this! You’re almost as much to blame after yesterday!” Lane shook his finger in Jonathon’s face.

Alexandria wasn’t sure that was wisdom after what she had seen him do to Nick.

“This is between me and Alexandria,” Lane emphasized the use of her first name.

“When you start yelling at Alexandria, I make it my business,” Jonathon’s tone was cool and even.

Alexandria took in the hard glint of his eyes and stepped in. “Lane, I appreciate your concern but it’s unnecessary.”

“Is he just your foreman, Alexandria?” Lane demanded.

“No, I told you he’s my friend and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t talk down to him.”

“Friend? Don’t be foolish, Alexandria, men and women are never just friends,” he spat at her.

“Lane, I think you’ve said enough, in the future if you decide to come and yell at me, please refrain. Good day,” she said and turned to enter the barn; her hands were shaking.

Jonathon followed her and allowed silence to reign for a few minutes.

“You’re pretty intimidating when you’re mad,” he teased to break the tension.

Alexandria sighed, “I didn’t want to fight with him but he was making me angry. Making comments about me and treating you like… like…”

“A common cow hand? I am, Alexandria.”

“No, you’re not! Besides that, what makes him any better than a common cow hand? Certainly not his manners!” she said in indignation.

“I agree,” he told her. “But he’s part of the upper class. I’ve seen it my whole life. To your class I am a cow hand and before that a farmer.”

“My class?”

“Alexandria, sweetheart, you own the largest ranch for miles around, you’re not in my class,” he informed her and watched her frown deepen. She was so unpretentious. It was no wonder the ladies of her own class looked for reasons to scorn her, she had never deemed their social clubs worthy of her time.

“It may be the biggest, but right now it’s not the most profitable,” she sighed.

“It will be again in no time, Alexandria.”

“I hope you’re right. Want to join us for lunch?” she offered.

“I thought you’d never ask,” he smiled.

***

Alexandria watched Anna closely as she filled her plate. Anna was keeping her eyes on her plate, and wouldn’t join the conversation. As soon as the meal had ended, Anna busied herself. Alexandria decided she would confront her sister as soon as they were alone. Before she could follow through, however, a knock sounded on the front door. Millie answered it and returned a moment later with a deep frown.

“Mr. Moody is here to see you, Alexandria,” she informed her boss. Alexandria frowned and hurried to her room to change. She traded her work clothes for a deep burgundy day dress and asked Millie to see Mr. Moody into her office. She stood as he entered. His eyes skittered over her bruised face but he made no comment.

“Mrs. Morris, you look lovely today,” he reached for her hand to press a kiss to the back of it.

Alexandria repressed a shudder.

“Mr. Moody, won’t you be seated?” she invited as she reclaimed her own seat.

Simon frowned but sat as asked. “I was hoping to speak somewhere less formal,” he admitted.

“I apologize; I assumed you were here on business.”

“That really depends on your answer to an important question,” he was watching her speculatively.

“Then I suppose I should hear your question first,” she suggested. Simon nodded, “Mrs. Morris, I have come to care for you deeply and have admired you even longer. Will you honor me by becoming my wife? I must warn you that I am quite insistent that we make it so,” Simon informed her and watched her frown.

Alexandria wanted to know how he could have come to care for her deeply when they barely knew one another. Her married to Simon Moody? She could not and would not marry the man!

“Mr. Moody, I am flattered, however, I must decline. I really have no desire to remarry,” she said as politely as she could.

“Then you leave me no choice, Alexandria. I am afraid that I will be forced to foreclose on your loan if you don’t marry me or pay the balance in full,” he informed her and laid a sheaf of papers on her desk.

“This isn’t legal,” her voice was shaking with anger.

“Oh but it is, there is a clause in all my contracts stating that an unmarried woman may not hold the lien on land,” he informed her as he stood. “It’s frowned upon for a lady to own property, I doubt any judge would contradict me. Think about it, Alexandria,” he breeched good manners by using her given name without her permission.

“Get out of my home!” she shot around the desk and held open her office door. “You think I could possibly love you after you pulled this?” she was barely keeping her anger in check.

“Who said anything about love?” Simon asked her. “I want you to warm my bed at night and decorate my arm by day, you have four weeks to make a decision, Alexandria; good day,” Simon replaced his hat and calmly walked through the front door.

Alexandria returned to her office and collapsed into her chair. What was she going to do? Maybe she should ask Jonathon for advice. Alexandria immediately discarded the idea. She depended on him too much as it was. This she had to do alone.

***

Jonathon watched Simon Moody leave; Jonathon was filled with a sense of foreboding. He had never liked the man and the satisfied look on his face did little to relieve Jonathon’s concerns. He turned from the bunkhouse window and sat down to write a message to his brother; he had sent a letter a few weeks earlier and had yet to hear back. He was now anxious for some report or word so he could begin making plans. He had decided that if he ever returned to South Dakota it would be for a visit only. Montana was now his home and he had asked his brother to sell his farm. He wasn’t certain why he felt it was an urgent manner.

***

Looking for a loophole, Alexandria read the papers in front of her three times. She was beginning to think there wasn’t one. She would never give Simon Moody the satisfaction of marrying him but the thought of losing the ranch made her sick. She needed a way to beat him at his own game. She scanned the papers again and sat up straighter. Who said she had to marry Simon? If she married someone else it would satisfy the clause. The court would back her husband up, whoever that proved to be, if he could prove no payments had been late and that Simon was foreclosing without cause.

But who would she marry? Lane had proposed but the thought of marrying him held little more appeal than marrying Simon. Tristan might propose with a little encouragement. Did she want him proposing? She knew he visited saloons and brothels. What man didn’t visit those places? a nagging voice asked. Jonathon doesn’t, she answered; then pushed the thought away. Jonathon wasn’t the topic here.

Her eyes fell to a newspaper on her desk and she picked it up. Many men placed ads for wives, why couldn’t she advertise for a husband? She pulled a sheet of paper forward and started composing an ad to place in nearby papers.

Wanted: Christian man to wed nineteen-year-old widow and mother of one and help run ranch. Must be of upstanding character and a letter of recommendation from family minister preferred. Need response soon. Please respond at:

Alexandria wrote in her address and surveyed the letter. Did she really want to do this? It was almost like selling herself. She cringed at the thought. She couldn’t think like that or she would lose her nerve. What would her husband expect of her? Would he expect children right away? The thought of sharing her bed with a man, any man really, made her shudder. Just considering it so soon after Nick’s attack on her brought horrible memories to the surface. Maybe the man would allow her a little time to get to know him. That would work. She had never really been kissed in a way she could call pleasant. That’s not true, she amended to herself. Jonathon had kissed her and she had enjoyed it.

Annoyed at her own thoughts, Alexandria shoved them aside. She didn’t want to be hurt and she didn’t want to hurt anyone. This way neither she nor her husband would go into the marriage blindly and no one would be hurt, she told herself. She would not marry a man who loved her knowing she didn’t love him as well. Alexandria stiffened her resolve, changed into an appropriate dress to wear to town and went in search of Jonathon. Her rest would have to wait. She found him already preparing to go to town. He hitched the buggy rather than saddling Raven and escorted her to town.

***

Jonathon studied Alexandria where she sat beside him and wondered what her business in town had been. She had parted ways with him, been gone for over an hour, and still hadn’t said what Moody had wanted. Unless he was mistaken, Jonathon had seen her go in the attorney’s office just after arriving in town. What business did she have with a lawyer?

“What’s going on, Alexandria?” he finally asked.

Alexandria sighed, “Mr. Moody is threatening to foreclose on me if I don’t marry him,” she answered honestly.

“What?” Jonathon’s face turned scarlet with rage. “Alexandria, that’s not even legal…”

“Maybe not but I can’t hold the lien and that is; in fact some would say that I shouldn’t own the property at all,” she pointed out.

“You aren’t considering it? Please tell me you aren’t considering it?” he all but begged.

Alexandria frowned at him, “No, nor would I.”

“That’s a relief,” Jonathon was able to breathe again.

“I asked for some advice, I think I may have it figured out,” she explained evasively.

“If you need my help, advice, just an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find me,” he reminded her.

“Thanks, Jonathon.”

“Sure. You okay?”

“I’m exhausted,” she admitted.

“I want you to eat and go straight to bed,” his orders made her smile.

“Yes, sir, will do,” she tried saluting him but it came out on a yawn and she giggled.

“I rest my case,” Jonathon chuckled.

“Why is Anna suddenly not interested in you? Have you noticed that?”

“We had a heart to heart last night.”

“When?”

“When she came in the parlor, confessed that she was in love with me, and kissed me,” he answered calmly.

“What?” Alexandria’s eyes were wide. “What did you do?” she tried to be casual. The thought of Jonathon kissing her sister didn’t settle well.

“Gently extricated myself, told her that she was a good friend and that was all that would ever be between us.”

“No wonder she’s avoiding you. Not to imply that you did… that you handled it wrong. I just know that had to hurt,” Alexandria empathized with her sister.

“I hated to do it, but she cornered me.”

“No, it’s better that she knows. Now she can go on and start healing and looking elsewhere, as painful as it was, she needed to know.”

“Thank you for saying so, Alexandria, I really felt bad about hurting her.”

“You can’t help how you feel any more than she can help how she feels. If you don’t mind my asking, and not to sound odd but I can’t help but wonder…why don’t you like my sister?” Alexandria queried.

“She’s an attractive woman but more immature than I’d like in a potential wife. Furthermore, she’s not my type.”

“Oh, just wondered,” Alexandria shrugged. “Most men chase her.”

“I’m not most men,” Jonathon said with a grin.

“I’ve noticed that,” she admitted.

“Was that a compliment or an insult?” his tone was teasing.

“You mean you’re asking rather than assuming it’s a compliment?” she feigned surprise.

“Now that, I believe, was an insult,” his expression was slightly hurt.

“I was teasing, Jonathon; it was a compliment,” she sobered and reassured him.

“Thank you,” he responded and fell quiet.

Alexandria felt herself relaxing despite the events of the day and evening before. There was something about Jonathon’s presence that she found very reassuring.

“Thank you, Jonathon. I really don’t know what I’d do without you,” she said quietly.

Jonathon glanced at her but didn’t comment. When they arrived at the ranch, Jonathon climbed from the wagon and went around to help Alexandria down only to find her yawning. He smiled and plucked her from the seat. Alexandria let out a startled cry; then locked her arms around his neck in reflex to being airborne. He didn’t rush to set her down and release her.

“You really should warn a person before doing that,” she informed him once her feet were again on solid ground.

“Takes the fun out of it; go eat and get some rest,” he pointed her toward the house.

“Come eat with us,” she invited.

“Not tonight; good night, Alexandria.”

“Good night,” she replied as she entered the house.

***

Alexandria stepped from the house and paused to inhale deeply of the fresh morning air. It had rained the night before and the air was clean and new. Despite the issues and challenges before her, Alexandria felt pretty good this morning, light even. It was welcome after the heaviness she had initially felt after Moody’s visit to the ranch and his ultimatum. Alexandria closed her eyes and let the morning’s calm infuse her.

“Good morning,” Jonathon’s greeting pulled her from her reverie.

“Good morning,” she smiled.

“You’re in a good mood,” he noted.

“I am,” she nodded.

“Good,” Jonathon was grinning.

“I slept well and I just…feel good,” she shrugged in explanation.

“I’m glad. You want to help me saddle the horses?” he invited.

“Sure,” she agreed and fell into step beside him. “How did you sleep?”

“Reasonably well,” he sounded vaguely amused with her.

“It’s all going to be okay, I’m not sure how, but I know it will be.”

“I hope so, Alexandria,” Jonathon opened the barn door and allowed her to enter.

“Hello, Muffin,” Alexandria cooed and lifted a half grown kitten into her arms. “You are such sweetie; aren’t you?” Alexandria had the kitten flipped onto its back and was scratching it’s chin. She set the kitten back on its feet and looked up to find Jonathon grinning at her.

“What?” she demanded.

“Sometimes I can’t tell much difference between you and Lilly,” he teased as he yanked her hat down over her eyes.

“I hate it when you do that,” she growled.

Jonathon leaned down to peer under her hat, “Why do you think I do it?”

Alexandria’s gaze narrowed a moment before she plucked his hat off his head and spun away; she was headed for the door at a dead run.

“Alexandria!” Jonathon bellowed after her.

Alexandria was giggling as she made the door, only to slam into Chris.

“Stop her!” Jonathon ordered.

Alexandria squealed and darted around Chris before he could follow orders.

Alexandria rushed into the house and slammed the door behind her.

“Don’t let him in here!” Alexandria ordered her sister and housekeeper before locking herself into her office.

“What on earth?” Anna queried on the other side of the door.

“Open this door!” Jonathon pounded on the back door.

“Jonathon? What is going on?” Anna opened the door to allow him in. Jonathon stepped to the closed office door.

“Alexandria, open this door and give me my hat!” Jonathon ordered.

Alexandria laughed in response.

“I will get this door open,” he threatened.

Alexandria eased the window open and slipped onto the porch before tip toeing into the yard. Once there she made for the cook shack at a run.

“Can I hide in here?” she demanded of Cookie.

“Sure,” the man shrugged.

“Thanks,” Alexandria was huffing for her breath. “Need help peeling anything?” she offered.

“If you want,” the man shoved potatoes at her.

“Alexandria!” the call came from the yard.

“Shhh,” Alexandria held a finger to her mouth.

“He’s headin for the barn,” Cookie peered out the window.

Alexandria remained where she was for several minutes until Jonathon moved well beyond the ranch yard in his search for her and then returned to her office. She placed Jonathon’s hat and her own on the desk and waited for him to make his way back to the house. It was fun to claim the upper hand on Jonathon for a change.

She was coolly pursuing some papers when he stepped into the office; his face was stormy.

“Looking for something?” she asked sweetly as she placed her papers back on the desk.

Jonathon stalked around the desk and planted his hands on either arm of the chair.

“You don’t take as well as you give,” Alexandria accused with a wide grin. She waited for his reply; her smile faded when he continued to stare at her. A moment later he was kissing her, not the soft gentle kiss of a few nights earlier, a firm, demanding kiss that left her reeling when he pulled away.

“Leave my hat alone,” he ordered before turning and leaving the office.

Trying desperately to gather her thoughts, Alexandria stared after him. It certainly hadn’t taken him long to reclaim the upper hand, she mused. What had he been thinking, kissing her like that? Just what did he think he was doing? Alexandria was frowning now. Her temper flaring, she jumped from her chair and stalked after him. She caught up with Jonathon half way across the yard to the barn.

“Just what was that about?” she demanded.

Jonathon turned to her and stopped.

“You think you can just…”

“Kiss you?” Jonathon arched a brow.

“You have no right!” she challenged.

He looked taken back, but then nodded.

“You’re right. I don’t have that right; I’m sorry I took liberties that weren’t mine to take.”

His apology took the wind out of her sails; she stared at him in frustration. How could he scramble her insides like that and then walk away so casually? She found herself on the verge of tears and had no idea why. She turned and started back to the house; she needed somewhere private to sort through her crazy emotions.

“Alexandria,” Jonathon caught her arm. “I’m sorry, truly.”

“I know. I need to…excuse me,” Alexandria refused to look at him. She pulled free from him and hurried toward the house.

“Please don’t leave here mad at me, Alexandria,” Jonathon insisted on following her.

“I’m not mad,” she informed him and struggled to stay ahead of him.

“You’re upset; I can tell,” he countered.

She turned on him. “I don’t make a habit of going around kissing men, Jonathon.”

“I know that,” he winced at the sight of her tears.

“You do? Well, I wish you had remembered that earlier.” Alexandria turned again.

“Alexandria,” Jonathon reached the door just ahead of her and held it closed. “The last thing I intended to do was hurt you in any way.”

“I’m not sure what my problem is; just let me in, please?”

“Fine, we’ll discuss this in your office.”

“There’s nothing to discuss,” she argued.

“Then why are you crying?” he demanded.

“I’m not sure!” she snapped.

Jonathon sighed and leaned against the wall of the house; he left the door free for Alexandria to enter. She stood head down, and arms wrapped around herself instead.

“I was mad at you when you took off with my hat. It was a gift from my father and means a lot to me. By the time I caught up with you my anger had turned to frustration. I was simply planning on chewing you out when I leaned over you. But there you sat smiling up at me, your eyes shining and the next thing I know I’m kissing you. I’m not sure I ever made a conscious decision to do so. You looked so beautiful,” Jonathon shrugged, unable to express just what he had been thinking.

Alexandria’s gaze was wide with shock when she looked up at him.

“I keep telling you, you’re beautiful, Alexandria; I don’t know why you don’t believe that. You’re right though; I have no right to kiss you, so I’m sorry for taking what wasn’t mine.”

Jonathon pushed off the wall of the house and left Alexandria staring at the door. She moved slowly into her office and settled in her chair. He thought she was beautiful.