A Whole New Crowd

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

“I thought Mandy dumped her friends.” I paused, then added, “Your friends.”
Tray chuckled. “She did, but I guess the girls went to visit her last night. Plus, Dylan’s in town again. This get-together is at his parent’s vacation house. I think he wants to try his hand with your sister since she dumped Devon.”
I frowned. “Why am I jealous that you know more about my sister and her friends than I do? I’m the girl. Isn’t that what we do? We get the gossip.”
He laughed again, turning onto a different street that headed out of town. “I think the girls would give you the info if they weren’t scared of you, and Mandy’s only been home a day. I only know because Dylan called to explain it all last night when he invited us.”
“She should be resting,” I paused again, “at our house.”
“Our house?” He threw me a grin.
I flushed and leaned back in my seat. I didn’t even know I had sat forward. “Mandy is delicate right now. She just left rehab. She should be around people who support her sobriety and understand it. This get-together is not a good idea. There’s going to be alcohol there. I’m sure there’s going to be triggers for her, whatever her triggers are.” Why didn’t I know? That was what was bothering me the most. I didn’t know.
Tray’s voice gentled. “You took your sister to rehab and found out a day later that your ex-boyfriend died. It’s okay that you didn’t go see her.”
“They had family sessions.”
“And you didn’t go because you found out your adoption was a lie. You felt like they didn’t want you after all.”
“Kevin was forced to take me and he tricked Shelly into wanting me.” Tray was right. All of it. I shook my head. “I don’t feel like I was there for her.”
“Taryn.” His tone firmed. His eyes darkened. “You were both going through some massive things. Stop feeling guilty. Believe it or not, you can’t save the world. Stop taking on the duties of Wonder Woman when you’re not Wonder Woman.”
I cracked a grin. “It’d be awesome to have those powers.” I frowned. “What powers did she have?”
He chuckled, patting my leg as the car slowed and he turned onto paved driveway. “Does it really matter? Get the lesson here. You’re human. Stop acting like you’re not.”
“Okay, okay.”
The driveway went up a hill and curved to the left. There was dense forest on both sides of us and when we saw the house, I saw the amount of cars and my eyes got big. “For real? There’s like thirty cars down there.” I didn’t waste time. As soon as Tray parked, I was out of the car and into the house. The living room was crowded. I couldn’t get through to the kitchen, but then I growled and the crowd parted. People saw me coming and moved aside. Sweeping through the kitchen, I went to the patio and there she was. Mandy was at a table, sitting on Dylan’s lap. Jennica and Amber were laughing, but the sound shriveled up as I headed for them.
Mandy saw me and sat upright. “Taryn?”
Her surprise punched me in the chest. “You didn’t know?”
Dylan squirmed underneath her. His hand was on her thigh. She was wearing a dress. The hemline rested above his hand and he cupped her skin for a moment before letting out a soft sigh. She turned to him. “Dylan?”
“I invited Evans. Her and him are a deal now, you know.”
“You don’t want me here?”
She looked back to me. Her indecision was clear, then she shook her head. “It’s not that, Taryn. It’s…” She bit her lip and scanned the table. Her friends had varying expressions. Amber seemed expectant of something whereas Jennica couldn’t look away from the doorway behind me. Then Mandy stood up. “Can we talk?”
I nodded, my neck stiff. Following Mandy as she weaved through the crowd, I wasn’t surprised when people shouted their hellos and welcome backs to her. A few saluted her with their cups. When she headed for the stairs, Tray was coming from the kitchen. He paused and his eyes narrowed. An unspoken question passed from him to me, asking what was going on. I lifted a shoulder. I was about to find out.
“Hi, Tray.” Mandy gave him a small wave.
He nodded to her. Then as she started up, his hand stopped me. “You okay?”
People were watching us with confusion and skepticism. When they kept looking at Tray, I had a second realization. They had missed their leader. I’d been monopolizing him. Feeling a pang, I said back, “I will be.”
“Text if you want to go. I’ll meet you at the car.”
Reaching for his hand with mine, I squeezed his in response, then squared my shoulders and headed up the stairs. Mandy was waiting for me in the hallway. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she was leaning against a wall. She gestured to a room. “We can go in there. Dylan uses it when he stays here.”
The room had a king-sized bed with a set of couches beside the bed. A side room opened off to the right and I could see a door on the other side that led to a bathroom.
“Where are his parents? And what’s his deal again?”
She laughed softly, sitting down on the bed. Her head lowered and her hands played with her dress. “Um…Dylan goes to school in another state, but he comes back when he can. I told you this before.”
“Are you together?”
“God, Taryn.” Her head lifted and her cheeks were red. “You just dive right in, don’t you?”
I shrugged, leaning against a wall. “I have other questions I want to ask. Believe it or not, this is me trying to hold back.”
“Oh.” She looked back down to her lap. “Yeah. I think so. I don’t know. I dumped Devon.”
“Yeah.” I rolled my eyes, but she couldn’t see it. “I thought you dumped Amber and Jennica too?”
“I did, but they came over last night to welcome me back, see how I was doing,” she looked up again, “and to apologize.”
“I don’t really care about your friends or your boyfriend. I just want you to be surrounded by good people. That’s all.”
“I know and I’m trying that. Devon’s emailed and called my phone every day. I haven’t taken him back.”
“Good.”
At hearing that, a small grin appeared. Then she ducked her head back down, stuffing her hands underneath her legs so she was sitting on them. Her feet started kicking at the floor. “As for Amber and Jennica, I love my friends. I mean, I’ve done some bad stuff too. Who am I to not give second chances?”
“You weren’t hurting anyone.”
“I was hurting myself.”
“Yeah and from how I see it, those two have only hurt you.”
Her feet stopped. She looked back. Tears were swimming in her eyelids. They were right there, ready to fall. One did and she brushed at it with the back of her hand. “I have to try, Taryn. I’m not as strong as you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t need people. I do. I need family and friends. I need to be able to forgive and hope that people will be there for me in the end.” She shook her head. “I’m not like you.”
“I need people too.”
“No, you don’t. You never talked to me about Brian. If you needed someone, I would’ve thought a sister would be that person.” A second tear slid down. “You never said a word. I had to find out everything from Austin. You didn’t tell me about my parents and your adoption, either. No one did. Austin just told me that shit was messed up. I hoped you would come to the family sessions too, but nothing.”
The truth had been kept from her, and I was one of the people who did that. “I’m sorry, Mandy. I didn’t keep it from you on purpose, I just…I don’t know what I was thinking. I haven't been myself lately.” I wanted to ask, but I wasn’t sure if it was the right time. Did I even have the right to ask now? “Why didn’t you come to see me last night?”
“I was going to, but Mom said not to. She saw you at the school and it didn’t go well. Then I decided to come anyway, but Amber and Jennica showed up. It was late when they left and,” she hesitated, pausing briefly, “I didn’t know if you wanted me to come or not. Austin told me to go. He said I was being a p-ssy, but,” she rolled her eyes as a small grin escaped, “he’s not scared of you like I am.”
“Scared?”
“I feel like I disappointed you.” She stopped, closed her eyes. “Man, I’ve been holding that in for a long time. I think, since you confronted me and drove me to rehab, that I disappointed you.” A small and bitter-sounding laugh came from her. “Why didn’t I feel like that with my own parents, but I did with you?”
“I don’t know.” My chest had been tight since we left the patio. At hearing her last confession, some of the tightness loosened. I had five massive knots tangled up inside of me and I had four more to loosen. “Let’s not analyze that. I can’t handle feeling any more right now.”
She grinned, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Too much with Brian’s death?”
I nodded. I really didn’t want to talk about him. Or Jace. I shook my head. “I’m not keeping things from you. It’s just that it’s so damn painful to even think about it, much less talk about it.”
Her eyebrows furrowed together and her lips pressed together. “You’ve been staying with Tray this whole time?”
“Since I took you to rehab. It didn’t feel right staying at the house. I felt like I was going against what your parents wanted.”
“You were right. They wouldn’t have taken me to a rehab, or at least not to that one. I would’ve gone to some nice plush one where they wouldn’t have pressed me that hard. My dad would’ve told them to treat me like I was a soft princess. The one you took me to—”
“Is good.” I finished for her. “I took Brian there. He needed a place that’s like that. They don’t bullshit around.”
“No.” She laughed. “They don’t, but that’s what I needed. And I think I was tired of lying to everyone. Thank you, Taryn.”
I was struck speechless.
There were tears in her eyes, but as she smiled at me, I didn’t think they were the bad kind. She said again, “Thank you.”
I nodded. “Yeah.” My voice was hoarse and that was all I could get out.
“Did you go to the funeral?”
I shook my head. My throat stung. “No. From what I was told, the funeral was kept private. I wasn’t invited.”
“That’s cold.”
“Yeah, well, what do you expect? His brother might as well killed him himself. Of course he wouldn’t let me go. I’d have questions and demands.” I’d have a knife or a gun.
“What do you mean?”
“What?”
“You blame his brother?” She wrapped her hands in her dress and tilted her head to the side, studying me with a frown. “I thought he was robbed at gun point. That’s what everyone is saying. Why would that be his brother’s fault, unless it was his brother that robbed him, but I doubt that happened. You know, since he had the funeral for him without you and everything…” Her voice trailed off and her head lifted. Her frown deepened, and she sat upright. “Taryn? What’s wrong? What’d I say?”
A robbery. Gun point. That’s how they spun it? A hard laugh ripped from me. I couldn’t believe what I just heard.
“Taryn?” She stood. Mandy started for me, but stopped a few feet away. “What’s wrong? What’d I say? Please.” A hysterical note etched into her tone. It was soft, hanging there on the end, before it bloomed.
I shook my head. Forcing myself to sound calm, I asked, “Who told you that?”
“Amber and Jennica.”
“Where’d they hear it from?”
She lifted a shoulder, but let it drop suddenly. “I don’t know. I’m not helping you. I’ve made it worse. I’m sorry, Taryn. What can I do? Tell me what to do to make this better.”
There wasn’t anything she could do. “I need to talk to Amber and Jennica.”
“Okay.” She went for the door. “I’ll get them.” She opened it, but paused before she said, “I want to help you like you helped me, Taryn. I’m sorry for making this worse.”
My insides were burning up. I felt raw, like someone had dragged a rake through my organs and left me bleeding out. “You did. Trust me, you did.”
She left and I closed my eyes. Stay calm. Hear them out, I tried to tell myself, trying to calm the tornado inside me, but it wasn’t working. I used my last resort and counted down from one hundred. When I got to sixty-nine, a knock sounded at the door and Tray stepped inside.
“What’s going on?” He closed the door and leaned against it. Voices sounded from the hallway and the doorknob turned. He said through it, “Give me a minute in here.”
There was silence and then Mandy said, “One minute, Evans. She’s still my sister.”
Ignoring her, he focused on me. He was trying to read me again. “What’s going on?”
I took a moment and drank the sight of him in. He was gorgeous. Sometimes I didn’t see it. I felt his beauty. He was kind. He was patient. He stood up to me and for me. He took care of me, and he fought side by side with me. Those were his qualities, but he wasn’t just mine. I saw it downstairs and a part of me was jealous. I didn’t want to share him, but I knew I would have to. Now, seeing him at this party, it was like I was being reminded of the other side of Tray. Hazel eyes, sandy blonde hair, rakish grin, chiseled cheekbones, broad shoulders, trim waist, and my mouth watered as I remembered feeling his weight above me.
That alien emotion was back. It bubbled to the surface and spread all over. I shook my head. Shit. That was a whole other level of emotions I didn’t want to deal with either.
“Taryn?”
My voice was hoarse again when I spoke. “I’m seeing this through, Tray.”
“Okay.” His eyes narrowed, growing thoughtful. “Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because you have friends here. These people think of you like family. You’re not mine.” I hesitated. “Only mine. You’re theirs too. And what I’m about to do, it’s dangerous. I don’t know if you should help me.”
A corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk. “Who do you think I am? Someone weak? Someone soft? You’re going to come at me, preach to me about the dangerous road you’re going down? You think I don't know?” He stood from the door, locked it, and advanced on me. He spoke with each step he took. “I wake up next to you every morning. I hold you every night. I’m there. I’m beside you. This is me. I’m all f*cking in, Taryn. Stop trying to scare me away and stop trying to treat me with kid gloves. I taught you how to fight, remember? Do I need to remind you of my life? I found my mom dead. That was me. I found her in bed. I found the empty bottle of pills and booze. I found the note. Me. I was there when my dad decided to leave with Galverson. Jace showed up. He gave my dad an ultimatum: Leave now, go with them and keep his mouth shut for the rest of his life to save mine, or go with my brother and get a bullet in the head later. That was his choice. He left me behind. I was there. I heard the whole thing and Jace saw me. I was standing upstairs. I wasn’t hiding, but my dad didn’t even look at me. He grabbed his wallet, took out his bank card, put it with a wad of cash on the counter, and left. That’s the last thing I remember about my dad.”
I swallowed and felt as if he’d struck me across the face. He’d had it hard. So did I. He shook his head. “Stop.” He was in front of me now. His hands lifted. He was going to touch the sides of my face, but he hesitated. I saw the agony in him, and he closed his eyes. He closed himself off from me and drew in a breath.
I frowned. He was drawing strength and he was doing it without me. My hands lifted to his before I realized what I was doing. I didn’t want him to do that. I wanted him to draw strength from me and as his eyes opened, I was gutted. “Stop.”
He did. I saw it.
I added, “I don’t want to ruin your life.”
“You won’t.”
I shook my head. I already had.
“Stop, Taryn.” His hands cupped my face. His thumbs rubbed over my cheeks, softly and tenderly. “It goes both ways. I’m all-in. I’ve never been this guy. I’ve never cared about a girlfriend before, but it’s different with you. Everything’s different with you. It’s too late to go back. I’m in, Taryn. Do you hear that? I’m in. Accept it. I’m here. I’m not leaving. I’m your best friend. I’m going to be your lover. I’m going to fight with you. I’m going to hold you. I’m going to support you. I will not betray you, and I will not abandon you.”
Each word calmed me. The storm was there, but it wasn’t raging any more, and I cracked a grin. “I don’t have a say in the matter?”
He leaned forward. His lips were going to my forehead, but he held back. I felt him struggling with his emotions before he murmured, “No, you don’t. You have to deal with it.” He touched his lips there and his chest jerked up. The emotion was strong in him. We were the same in that moment. My hands clung to the back of his as he cradled my face, but I tugged him down.
His eyes opened and he looked into mine. For the first time, I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t look away. I let him stare into me. I let him see everything, and then I reached for his lips. As they touched mine, I claimed him this time.
I was letting him know he was mine.