“I won’t let them win. I promise you.”
He groaned in a mixture of frustration and desire.
His tongue lay flaccid and unusable at the bottom of his mouth. He gritted his teeth. How could he not tell her how he felt? His body was bursting at the seams with emotions for her, and he simply could not express any of them. He kissed her neck and knotted his fingers in her hair, silently fuming and cursing himself.
“If I take one of those jobs, I won’t be your tutor anymore,” Kat mumbled sadly against his rough cheek.
He’d think about having a new tutor and the antagonism he would feel toward them later. Now was not the time. “But I’ll still have you, right?”
She slid her palm down the side of his face. “You’ll have all of me.”
He gripped the back of her knee and pulled it higher above his hip. She pushed her hands under his T-shirt, her nails grazing his back, while her tongue pushed into his mouth. He could taste her fear and pushed back just as hard to soothe her.
“Fuck them, Kat,” he growled. “Come back to me. Be here with me. Right now,” he demanded. “Don’t think about them. Just think about us.”
There was so much to discuss. So much to think about. There was so much at risk that could tear them apart. Carter clenched his eyes shut, pushing his dread as far away as he could. As long as they were together, he thought, everything would be all right.
“Make me forget. Please,” she begged. “Make me forget all of them.”
Carter rolled her onto her back, hovering above her. “Anything.”
29
Days passed, gradually folding into weeks as Kat and Carter continued to fold into each other. Cautious and careful, they continued to meet at the library three days a week, working as they were expected, while at night they worshipped each other’s bodies in an effort to keep at bay the things that threatened to tear them apart. For those sweet, blissful hours when their limbs entangled and their names became frenzied gasps of pleasure, everything floated away, leaving them to imagine what being together without worry or recrimination would be like.
Carter watched his Peaches carefully from one day to the next, hopelessly aware that the strain of their situation had begun chipping away at her resolve. Outwardly, she appeared the same, beautiful and put together, but he’d begun to notice, when they were alone, she held on to him a little tighter, touched him more frequently, more fervently, as though terrified that what they’d built together would collapse around them at any second.
Carter wasn’t na?ve. He knew the obstacles. He worried just as much as she did. His cousin was an asshole of the highest order, no doubt plotting a retaliation that would be sure and swift. Max was still falling into blow with no regard for those who cared for him, and Kat’s mother called incessantly, despite Kat’s insistence that she didn’t want to speak to her.
Shit outside of their bubble was not copacetic. Nevertheless, Carter knew he had to be strong for them both. He’d do anything to help see that smile of Kat’s he adored so much, which was why he insisted she look through Beth’s folder of good intentions for a new job when, after two weeks, it still sat untouched on her coffee table. And why he agreed to accompany her when she returned her grandmother’s car to Chicago in time for Thanksgiving.
To agree to the latter, and doing family-type shit, highlighted just how insane he fucking was. But, truthfully, the thought of Kat being away from him for any amount of time was excruciating. He’d just have to nut up and shut the fuck up.
Kat’s small hand shot out across the car’s center console and covered Carter’s leg, which jumped up and down in earnest. Unable to throw himself from Nana Boo’s Jag and hightail it back to his apartment, Carter settled for decimating the side of his thumbnail, which he shoved inelegantly between his teeth, gnawing on it like a motherfucker.
“Sweetheart, relax.” Kat glanced at him and then back to the road. “Everything is going to be fine.”
Carter scoffed.
Fine? Fine? Was she insane?
Her confidence in both him and the situation was endearing as hell, but his brain had been on fast-forward since they’d left the apartment. Oh God, the fumbling, nervous verbal vomit that would no doubt happen when he met Kat’s favorite family member was enough to turn his stomach inside out. His nerves were just about shot to shi—
“I love you.”
Carter’s eyes closed briefly before they slid over to the breathtaking creature next to him. His hand dropped loudly from his mouth to his lap.
“And Nana Boo will, too.” She smiled, her eyes sparkling. “I just know it.”