“Carter,” Kat choked, reading the words from The Merchant of Venice.
“I’m sorry. Shit. I knew I shouldn’t have— I just wanted you to understand.”
“What did you want me to understand?”
She needed him to explain. Reading his deepest thoughts was almost too much.
He took the book from her hand, thumbing through it, smiling wryly at some of his words and closing his eyes at others.
“That night,” he started quietly. “The night we met. That night was the longest, most terrifying night of my life.” He smiled. “But I wouldn’t change it, not for a fucking thing.” He touched the diary almost reverently. “I started this when I was eleven years old. Sixteen years ago.” His voice seemed far away to Kat’s ears.
His eyes flickered to her hair. “Kat, your smell was— It was like it took over my brain. I couldn’t think about anything else. It calmed me when I was ready to murder my father, and even when I was at Arthur Kill, I would go back to that night and think about you. Those were the nights I slept the soundest.”
He put the book to his side and clasped her hands. “I don’t want to freak you out with this shit, I really don’t, but hearing you say those words and not being able to say them back …” He shook his head. “I hoped this would help you see.” He gazed at her. “Do you understand, Kat? Do you understand what you are to me?”
Emotion stopped the answer from leaving her mouth.
“Today, when I introduced you to Petey,” he continued with a crooked smile, “I didn’t have a fucking clue what to say to him. I went through a dozen labels, including ‘my girlfriend,’ but that just … doesn’t seem big enough.” His face creased to show his distaste for the word. “And I couldn’t say ‘my Peaches’ because that shit is mine alone.”
Yes. She was his completely.
“Kat,” he whispered, pulling her closer. Their foreheads touched and Carter closed his eyes.
“I don’t know what will happen when we get back to the city. I have no clue. But I do know that I want no one else but you. I want to be with you for as long as you’ll have me. I want more nights like this one, and I want to be able to walk down the street holding your hand knowing that, for once in my life, every other fucker envies me and what I have.”
Kat clutched his hoodie in her hands.
Carter pulled her into his arms and whispered into her neck, “You’re everything to me, Peaches. You always have been. Always. You’re the best thing I’ve ever had in my life.” He kissed her. “You’re my everything.”
28
Leaving the beach house was hard for Kat. So much had happened in the two days they’d stayed there. She’d clung to Carter at the side of her car, never wanting to be away from him again, but knowing that real life waited for both of them.
The drive back to the city was long and uneventful, except for the moment that Carter flew past Kat’s car on Kala like a bat out of hell, weaving through traffic like a lunatic. She wasn’t sure he even noticed her, but Lord if he didn’t look like sex incarnate riding the damned thing.
After texting Carter to tell him she was home safely, she prepared herself for an unexciting evening of unpacking her suitcase. He’d promised to stop over later, which, even after a whole weekend together, still caused excited butterflies to swarm inside of her. Fred smiled as Kat approached the front desk, her suitcase clattering at her heels across the marble floor.
“Good evening, Miss Lane,” he chimed. “How are you?”
“I’d be better if you’d call me Kat,” she admonished with a playful flash of her eyes.
“Apologies. Kat.”
“My friend Mr. Carter will be here later. Will you send him straight up?”
Fred picked up a pen and made a note. “Is he the tall gentleman with the … tattoos?”
Kat smirked. “Yes, that would be him, but he’s really not as scary as he looks.”
Fred raised his eyebrows. “I’ll take your word for it.”
Kat laughed. “Good evening, Fred.”
“Good evening, Kat,” Fred replied with a tip of his hat.
She turned back from the desk, heading to the elevators. As her hand lifted to press the elevator call button, a figure moved behind her, catching her attention. As realization struck, Kat spun around with a surge of anger.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she spat.
Beth’s face showed no sign of surprise at Kat’s reaction. “I came to talk to you.”
Kat let out a bark of sarcastic laughter. “I have nothing to say to you.”
She turned back to the elevator and pressed the already lit button, praying for it to hurry up.
“You look well,” Beth murmured. “You look really well.”
“Why do you care?” Kat remarked with no inflection to her voice. She turned, crossing her arms defensively. “Look, you’d better hurry back. I’m sure Adam and Austin are eager for you to get back to them to tell them all of my dirty secrets.”
“They don’t know I’m here,” Beth replied, anxiety prevalent in her wide eyes. “I told Adam I was going to get some ice cream.”
Kat’s anger turned to confusion.