“You’re fine now,” Kellan mutters.
I round on Jonah immediately “What does that mean?”
When he stays silent, panic bristles all the hairs on my arm. Finally, after what feels like forever, Kellan offers defiantly, “It means Jonah attacked Enlilkian and that sonofabitch didn’t appreciate what was happening. So he decided to—”
“Enough,” Jonah snaps.
Kellan gets up and stalks to the door. Just before he twists the knob open, though, he says harshly, “J, if you think I’m going to back down from this, think again.”
Jonah says nothing out loud.
I flinch when the door slams behind his brother. I’m immediately on Jonah again, ready to push for the details, but then I notice his hands are shaking. Not a lot, and not that anyone else would notice, but just enough to let me know his anxiety is sky high, too.
That’s twice now that he’s had to find me broken and battered. I remember a time in high school when he’d been hurt by one of the Elders, and I was so distraught, I thought I was going to tear apart the worlds. I mean, I froze time in an effort to get to him, an action I wasn’t even aware I was capable of until my fear for his safety brought it out of me. And here he is, trying so hard to keep it together when I’ve been nearly killed not once, but twice.
I wrap my arms around him and hold on tight until our matching trembling subsides.
The bunker we’re in is cavernous, with a restaurant-sized kitchen, a dozen bedrooms, fourteen bathrooms (the need for so many baffles me), two gaming rooms, two living rooms, a dining room that could easily transition into a ballroom, an indoor pool and spa attached to an underground spring, an extensive library, and a gym so large it has a track circling the equipment. There is also a pair of rooms that no one will tell me the use for, as they’re always kept locked.
I can’t help but wonder if we’re anywhere close to Valhalla and the Ascension rooms this deep beneath the city.
Jonah and I will be staying in the red bedroom I woke up in; Kellan’s is adjacent and accessible through a shared door. If I thought joining our apartments together with a staircase was a bad idea, this is an even worse one. I argue vehemently with Jonah over the wisdom behind this arrangement, but he ends up throwing his hands up in exasperation, informing me that if I want to try to talk Kellan out of it, I’m more than welcome to try because he sure as hell got nowhere with his efforts.
So I do. I corner Kellan in his room shortly before bedtime, only to find him obsessively folding and refolding a small stack of t-shirts. “Can we talk?”
He says flatly, “You can, but know now, my mind is made up.”
The door clicks shut behind me, even though Jonah has gone off to talk to Karl and Zthane again. “Kellan, it’s just ...”
He laughs, but there is no humor there. “Let me guess—it’s just, this is awkward as all shit, right? Having me sleeping on the other side of a shared wall with the happy lovebirds?”
Well, yes. And also, ouch. While things have not been ... good, per se, between us, for weeks we’ve been in a place where hope wasn’t too far away. But here, in this small room half a mile below Annar’s streets, his anger and resentment are painful.
“Believe me, C. I know. I’m well aware of how awful this entire situation is. Do you think that I enjoy, even for one moment, having to be in such close proximity to you two nowadays?”
I have to physically prevent myself from flinching. “Then—”
The t-shirts go flying across the bed before he sinks down onto the mattress. And then he laughs quietly, bitterly, his head sinking down into his hands. “Gods, Chloe. Really? Why do I have to spell this out to you two? I’m here because you and Jonah are my Connections. Because, no matter what I feel or wish, I refuse to stand back and allow anything bad to happen to either of you.” He takes a deep breath, blowing it out slowly through his mouth. And then, much more calmly, “Jonah has tied himself up in knots trying to keep things stable and happy for you over the last few weeks. He has worked overtime to make sure you didn’t have to worry about a thing. Did you know that?”
I lean back against the door, unsure as to what to say. The last few weeks have been some of the happiest of my life, despite the circumstances. I thought they’d been the same for Jonah?
“He is freaking the fuck out, Chloe. We both are, okay? You ...” He shakes his head. “That first time, at the restaurant. He didn’t know if you were going to live or die, so just about every person in a one-block radius felt his fear before I countered him because my brother has been taught his whole life he needs to keep his shit together. But his internalizations can only work for so long, you know. Sooner or later, if you hold too much inside, it explodes outward.”