“When it has, I knew exactly what to do,” she said. “This time it’s beyond my control.”
“I don’t usually correct people when they explain their feelings, but this is not beyond your control. You have excellent medical supervision and are following the doctors’ orders. And your health has been described as excellent.”
“It could happen again just the same,” Anna said. “I want to face it head-on, plow through the uncertainty, go back to work, get my children back on track, and I’m too distracted. And I tire so easily.”
“Have you talked to your doctors about the lack of focus and the tiredness?” he asked.
She nodded. “They say it’s normal and I should be patient. And maybe walk a mile a day. With a walker!” Then she snorted derisively.
Dr. Norton smiled. “Sounds easier said than done. The walking shouldn’t be a problem. May I suggest something else?”
“You can always suggest...”
“It’s not uncommon for people recovering from a major medical event to struggle with depression. I wonder if—”
“Do I look depressed?” she snapped.
“Depression is not often diagnosed through appearance, but it does hide itself in impatience, confusion, exhaustion and uncertainty. If you’d like, I can confer with your doctor, your neurologist, about a mild antidepressant that works with your other medications. Tell me something, are you struggling with feelings of hopelessness or thoughts of dying?”
“I’m afraid to tell you anything,” she said. “It sounds like you’re going to recommend more drugs! And I’ve never before taken so many drugs!”
“Let me explain, your honor—”
“For God’s sake, call me Anna!”
He smiled. “And please, you can call me Tom. Everything you’re feeling is normal. Okay, normal is a bad choice of word. It’s typical. That’s better. You’ve had a bad experience and there are some lingering side effects that will diminish in time. We might be able to speed up the process with a few sessions and perhaps an antidepressant or antianxiety medication. But it’s your choice.”
“First, I should talk to my children,” she said.
He lifted his eyebrows. “Do you think they’ll have an opinion about your medical treatment?”
“Without a doubt,” she said. “But what I need to talk to them about is a family affair. Their father left a bit of a complication for me to tidy up. He was famous for doing that. It turns out my children have a sibling they don’t know about.”
He looked only a little surprised. “I can see how that could be stressful.”
FOURTEEN
One thing that worked out conveniently, and was purely circumstantial, was Anna having all of her children under one roof even if it was because of her health. Michael went to work every day but stayed every night in the home where he was raised just in case he was needed. On the upside, he left early and came home late, thanks to his coaching duties. Bess was improving thanks to her medication and a new day group she was participating in for counseling and a little modified behavior therapy. But she needed the support of her family while she was attacking that anxiety she had neglected for a while.
And Jessie had not left her mother since the stroke. It wasn’t even two weeks yet since that event and she had not gone back to work. Instead, she was riding herd on her family in much the same way her mother always had. Only Dr. Norton knew part of Jessie’s motivation came from the fact that she wasn’t anxious to go back to work.
But Jessie was so busy, making sure Bess was delivered to her group sessions and Anna to any doctors’ or therapy sessions. Thankfully Anna seemed to be doing better all the time, growing in confidence. Her doctors were happy with the results of another CT scan and her blood work and blood pressure were all satisfactory.
Just seeing Anna getting her confidence back was enough for Jessie. And Bess was definitely benefitting from her new medication and group therapy. As for Jessie, herself, she was feeling stronger and more relaxed all the time, but it went without saying that a leave of absence from her practice was a contributing factor.
Anna spent a couple of hours in the kitchen on this particular Sunday afternoon putting together a dinner for her kids—homemade pizza, salad and garlic breadsticks. Michael was planning on going back to his apartment for the week so she was unsure when the next time they would all have dinner together might be.
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about,” Anna said. “Get yourselves dished up and be prepared for another paradigm shift in our family order.”
“This should be good,” Michael said.
“It’s about that ten percent of your father’s will that goes to an anonymous recipient. She is not anonymous anymore. I’ve known who she is for months now. Sometime around the time Michael was born your father was romantically involved with a woman. I didn’t know her and I don’t think I will ever know the detailed circumstances surrounding their relationship, but your father did confess to the affair. As you can well imagine, it was a very tenuous time in our marriage. We almost separated. We talked about divorce. But we were young, broke, had two small children and our options were very limited.”
“Dad?” Michael said, shocked. He dropped his slice of pizza on his plate and pushed away from the table a little bit.
Jessie couldn’t believe her ears. “Not Dad!”
“It was a very difficult time,” Anna said. “I didn’t think we’d make it.”
“He told you?” Jessie said.
“I guessed,” Anna explained. “There were a lot of unexplained phone calls and your dad seemed to be out a lot. I accused and poked at him until he admitted he’d been seeing another woman. He said it was a stupid mistake on his part, he had no idea what compelled him to do such a thing and he begged to be forgiven. He said it had been a very brief relationship. I don’t know exactly how long they were involved, but he insisted he loved me and of course loved you. The forgiveness part took a while, believe me. I was very angry and it was hard to trust him after that. As far as I know, that was the only time.”
“Is it the woman?” Jessie asked. “Is that where the ten percent went?”
“No, that would be simple to explain. The thing I didn’t know until after he died was there was a child. I might never have mentioned this to you otherwise. She’s about six months younger than Michael and I didn’t know she existed until I met her after your father’s death. The reason she wanted me to know about her is because of you three. She is your sister.”
“Well, that’s interesting,” Bess said dryly. “Someone was thinking below the waist.”
Anna actually laughed at that. “Leave it to you, Bess, to boil it down to the bare facts. Yes, your father made a mistake that was probably driven by hormones, a mistake I never would have shared. Except for the outcome, which is your right to know.”
“Does she want to meet us or something?” Jessie asked.
“She revealed herself to me and told me a couple of important things. One—that it is entirely up to you if you want to meet. And two—that she hasn’t spent the money he left her.”
“Did he know about her the entire time? Her whole life?” Mike asked.
“I believe so,” Anna said. “Her name is Amy, and as she tells it, her mother explained she was involved with a married man, though she didn’t know at the time he was married. When she realized she was pregnant, she never even considered termination. She decided she was having her child and would raise her as best she could. She married a few years later, had a couple of other kids and sadly passed away six years ago.”
“Are you furious?” Jessie wanted to know.
“Now?” She gave a short laugh. “I’m furious with him for going on that damn rafting trip. And I wish he had told me, though I’m sure our marriage wouldn’t have survived that information. We nearly divorced over his brainless fling!”
“Do you suppose there were many others?” Jessie asked.
“I have no idea, but I wasn’t concerned. I didn’t spend my entire marriage being suspicious. I was alert but not suspicious. We had our ups and downs, but honestly, no more than most married couples. I had an epiphany recently. In the last year, your father thought we were growing apart. I think it was something else altogether. About six months before his death, Amy contacted him to let him know he was going to be a grandfather. Amy thought he should know. I think your dad was restless for any number of reasons—growing older, having made mistakes in his past, not achieving all he had hoped for and, not the least, having a child no one knew about. I have wondered some things I’ll never have answers for—like, was he planning to come clean about his secret child? There was one thing I know about your dad. He was always one to unburden himself. He liked to admit his errors, wipe the slate clean, apologize and suggest a fresh start.”