Anna thought about that for a moment and in an instant she could see how devastating that might have been, nothing but doubt and hard feelings and suspicion, not to mention the rebound effect. It would not have worked. But would this?
“Is this happening?” she whispered.
“Not in the kitchen, I hope,” he said. “The bedroom, then?”
“If you’re sure,” she said, and was conscious of how weak and uncertain her voice was. It was not a sound she heard often. Anna was, if anything, strong and decisive.
“Oh, honey, I’m sure,” he said with a kiss. “I don’t want to rush you. Seduce you, absolutely. Not rush you.”
“How can I be nervous?”
“Good question. Why are you nervous? I can see you wondering if you’re ready for that level of intimacy with me, even though we’ve known each other forever, but—”
“I’ve had only one partner,” she said. “And we certainly weren’t burning up the sheets, especially the last few years.”
“No one before Chad, then?”
She shook her head.
“Amazing,” he said. “Well, come with me, Anna. I hear it’s like riding a bike.” He took her hand and led the way. “I think we’re going to be just fine.”
As they stood in the bedroom beside the bed, he kissed her again and again while he slowly lifted her sweater and peeled off his shirt. They pressed together and somehow her bra disappeared and they were flesh to flesh.
“This is so nice,” he whispered.
I never realized how much I wanted this, Anna thought. She had learned to live without this in her life and it was a great loss. She wanted not only to feel loved and desired, she wished to desire again. Life moves a little more slowly when you’re older except in this. In this, desire was quickly raging within her and she felt so much younger and more vital. She thought about their ages—fifty-seven and sixty-three—and something she didn’t know ten or twenty years ago was that passion could be amazing and crazy even at this age.
Within moments their clothes were gone, the covers were drawn back on the bed and they lay together, naked, holding each other. He had tossed a condom on the bedside table, just his tacit gesture that he would protect whether or not he thought it was necessary. And it brought to mind that she could return the favor. As women of her age often experienced some challenges, she had a few tricks up her sleeve. She rolled away from him long enough to fetch a small vial from the bedside drawer. She held it up. Lubricant. A little help. “Do you think this stuff goes bad if too much time has passed?” she asked.
He laughed and took it from her. “I’m sure it’s good. Let me take care of this when it’s time.”
Anna had been nervous, but not hesitant. Now, in his arms, naked against him, she was amazed at how confident she felt. It’s good when a woman feels wanted, feels chosen by the very one she would choose. He murmured against her neck and breast, told her she was beautiful, massaged and stroked every inch of her body. His fingers were soft and deft, soft as a feather sometimes, more firm and insistent other times.
And she touched him. His back was muscled, his arms were strong, his butt was solid and his... She stopped herself before she gasped. She had mentally prepared herself for an older man but Joe was as powerful and erect as a young man. When she filled her hand with him, he moaned and whispered her name.
With fingers and tongue, he worked on her until she was whispering his name, as well, exercising that special place between her legs, driving her mad with longing. Without asking, just knowing, he reached onto the bedside table for the condom and the little vial. Using his fingers as his eyes, he applied the lubricant and just that brought her close to completion.
“Hang on,” he whispered. “I’m coming with you.”
She welcomed him by spreading her knees, and unlike anything she’d ever experienced before, he filled her with one slow, deep thrust. And then he moved, very slowly, taking his time. She watched his face, his eyelids falling sensually, his jaw tightening, and she rode with him. It wasn’t long before she took a trip over the moon and shuddered with satisfaction. He drove her up and up and up; she exploded from within and fell gently to the earth, happy and safe in his arms.
They panted with fulfillment. Things she’d known about him seemed suddenly brand-new. She knew he had a hairy chest, but against her breasts and under her hands, it felt like something she’d never known before. His long legs felt even longer wrapped around her; his lips were unbelievably soft as he nibbled at her neck and ear. He had a most alluring musk, intoxicating as it filled her head; and she couldn’t help it, she wanted him again. He turned on his side and cradled her in his arms.
“Okay?” he asked.
“The best,” she said.
“You’re wonderful. I knew it would be wonderful,” he said.
She let her fingers dance through the hair on his chest. “I don’t want to ever move,” she said.
“That suits me fine, though we might get dehydrated and very thin. In a few minutes we can warm up that Thai dinner. But we can come back here whenever you want to.”
“Will you stay?” she asked.
“For as long as you like. This is your space, Anna. You have to tell me when you’re ready to have it back to yourself.”
Anna asked herself how it was possible that was the best lovemaking of her life. It must have a lot to do with how long it had been for her, how starved she was for a touch, for the give and take of physical love. Chad was hardly lacking in that department, but the last few years had been wanting. He complained that with age his libido was just not what it once was. But he didn’t try, either.
What was it with men that their sex drive ruled the world? If they were in the mood, women were expected to accommodate them, but if they didn’t feel the driving force of desire, it was off the table. She had asked him, Can’t you at least hold me? Kiss me? He made a very lame attempt, a kiss, a brief hug, then said, Sorry, babe, it’s just not working for me.
Joe didn’t have any wardrobe choices so he pulled on his jeans and sweater while Anna opted for some soft lounging pajamas. Back in the kitchen, Joe pulled out container after container of Thai takeout.
“It looks like you have one of everything,” she said.
“Pad Thai, coconut shrimp, green curry with eggplant, Thai larb with chicken, lettuce wraps, noodles... You shouldn’t go hungry unless you’re very fussy.”
“You know I’m not,” she said. “Let’s dish up and take our plates to the living room and sit on the floor around the coffee table.”
They talked first about the food, which was amazing. Then they talked a little about their kids and spent time talking about Anna’s challenge with telling her kids about Amy. “The poor girl never got to have a life with her father.”
“You never felt you’d been dealt a bad hand with your single mother and unknown father,” Joe said.
“But it was hard and I was only too aware. I was determined not to find myself in the same pickle as Blanche. I played it safe to the end.”
The last few years, she said, were difficult. There wasn’t much affection in her marriage and she’d begun to think, What’s the point?
It was March of 2020 when the coronavirus began to hit hard. It actually crept up slowly, as if no one knew how seriously to take it. Then overnight states recognized how virulent in nature it had become with thousands dying daily around the world. New York had to bring in refrigerated trucks to hold the dead. Many cities attempted to shut down, San Francisco being one. Employees were sent home to work while in quarantine. Shops and restaurants closed their doors, large gatherings from conventions to sporting events were canceled.
Anna and Chad were locked in together, working from home. Many changes were upon the people of the world and San Francisco had a healthy share. Anna worked on video conferencing while plexiglass barriers separating the court staff and the jurors from each other were installed. She tried not to go to the courthouse every day; she had groceries delivered. Everyone donned masks. The election for US president was in full swing along with protests and people were a little crazy.
Not a little. A lot crazy.
Chad stayed home. Chad, for reasons that made perfect sense, had an office in their home. Anna had always used the kitchen or dining room when she worked from home. Chad had to have a door that closed so he could counsel online with complete privacy.