“Blind to what?” I felt like a parrot asking questions. “You’re speaking in riddles, Ethan. Listen to yourself!”
“I’ve been speaking in riddles because I can’t be honest with you, I never can.” I knew the hurt I experienced was visible, but it didn’t dissuade him. “If I tell you everything I know, when I know it, you’ll do something stupid. I know you, and it’s what you always do. You try to play hero when there is no dragon to slay. There are no winners here, only losers. You’re going to have to accept that some things are out of your control.”
“I didn’t ask to be brought into this, you know,” I reminded him. I’d never wanted to be a part of a vampire family. It was either join Disco’s home or face some other random vampire who decided to make me their bitch.
“Oh, I know, it’s the reason I’ve defended you for so long.” Shock tore through me, only this time when he saw my expression, he presented me with a cold smile. “That’s right, I’ve defended you. More than once,” he said, answering my silent question. “When you left Gabriel and created tension in his home, I spoke up for you. He nearly lost it, Rhiannon. He was a ticking time bomb. I had to remind the family you’d had a hard life that none of us can or will ever understand. But that’s not an excuse anymore. You’re going to have to start facing up to your decisions and take responsibility for your actions.”
I was shocked, taken aback, and thrown for a loop.
There it was in a nutshell; a slam dunk in my face that I totally deserved. Goose was right. I had been holding onto the past as a way to make excuses for my future. The problem was I didn’t realize it until he pointed it out. No, not pointed it out. I didn’t realize it until he thrust it in my face and made me see. No pretty words, no sugar coating, and zero bullshit.
Put one on the board for Ethan fucking McDaniel.
“I didn’t know how much it affected Disco when I left.” I hadn’t wanted to think about my lover’s pain, despite the knowledge that perhaps I should have, because I had been too concerned with my own. “I had no idea how he felt.”
“Now you do. Consider yourself informed.”
“That’s not why you’re here, though. Is it?”
“No, that’s not why I’m here. You have to understand the situation isn’t just about your or Gabriel. Not anymore. Marius hasn’t returned to New York in over a decade.” When Goose addressed me again, I listened—closely. “Paine informed me that you’re aware of the reasons. For him to return, to come here now after so long, means you’ve reached the end of the line.” He leveled me with a harsh stare. “Your time is up. You’ve been riding the edge of darkness so long you can’t see the curve just ahead. You’re going to crash and burn, but I won’t allow you to take everyone down with you. My purpose is to protect the family, even if it’s against you.”
“I’ve never seen you this angry before.” I wasn’t sure why I said it. Maybe it was because I wanted him to see himself through my eyes, or maybe it was because I didn’t like being the center of attention. Or maybe it was because the assertive side of Ethan was one I respected.
“This isn’t angry,” he corrected me. “This is me being what I am and have always been—a familiar who is loyal to the family that protects him. Precisely what you should be. You’ve forgotten your place. I can’t allow our friendship to interfere with that.”
“You told me I could always come to you,” I reminded him. “You said our friendship stood outside of the confines of the family.”