It didn’t help, remembering Raul had bought her just as he’d bought them.
‘I’ll make a start this afternoon.’ She met his unblinking gaze, almost challenging him to protest.
When he merely nodded Luisa took a slow breath.
If she was making a new start there was something else she had to face.
‘I’m planning to visit Ardissia too.’ It was time to lay her grandfather’s ghost. Maybe going there, confronting the place that had meant so much to him, and held such dreadful memories for her, would help her bury her hatred.
He frowned. ‘My schedule’s too full right now.’
Luisa drew herself up. ‘Do I need to wait for you? Aren’t I Princess of Ardissia?’ Much as she disliked the title, it was the one thing she’d got out of this devil’s bargain: her inheritance. In her absence the province had become the responsibility of the monarch, but she was here now. ‘It’s time I shouldered my responsibilities.’
Raul paced towards the bed, his brows arrowing down. ‘It’s logical we go together. People will expect that.’
‘But you’re tied up every day. You just said you’re not free.’ A little breathing space, time to regroup after the massive changes in her life, beckoned. She’d been on a roller coaster of emotion these last weeks.
‘There are matters of protocol and plans to be made. Royalty doesn’t just stop by.’
Why was he against her going? No mistaking the tension in his big frame. The tantalising idea surfaced that he’d miss her. She dismissed it instantly.
‘It’s not dangerous, is it?’
He shook his head. ‘Ardissia is safe.’
‘Good. I’m sure I’ll be welcome. I’ll give notice I’m coming. A couple of days. Would that be enough?’
She stared into his set face, suddenly relishing the challenge of standing up to the man who’d taken over her life in more ways than she’d ever bargained for.
She needed to stake a claim as her own person lest he subsume her totally. Even now she longed for him to haul her close and forget the so important appointment that called him away. How was that for needy?
‘Surely it’s the right thing to do?’ She worked to keep a cajoling note from her voice. ‘It’s only polite to visit now I’ve accepted my inheritance.’
Raul’s lowering brows told her he didn’t see it that way. The sight of tension in his jaw sent dangerous excitement zigzagging through her. As if she felt pleasure knowing she got under his skin, even in such a way as this.
Surely she wasn’t that desperate for his attention?
‘The timing’s not ideal, but you’re right. A visit makes sense. Leave it with me.’
Why did Luisa feel as if she’d lost the argument when he nodded, turned and strode out of the room, his mind obviously occupied with matters of business?
She hadn’t expected him to kiss her, had she?
‘This way, Your Highness.’ The chamberlain ushered Luisa into her grandfather’s study. She’d left it to last on her tour of the Ardissian royal palace.
She pictured the old man here, seated at the massive desk awash with opulent gilt scrollwork. Even in his towering rages he hadn’t deigned to rise. Always he’d remembered his position as prince and hers as unsatisfactory, low-born grandchild.
Her teeth clenched as she recalled his poisonous words. Not merely his diatribe on her incompetence and ingratitude but his slashing vitriol at her parents.
‘Thank you.’ She nodded to the chamberlain, smiling despite his haughty rigidity. ‘That’s all.’
As he withdrew she considered the portraits lining the walls. Ancestors with remote expressions stared down their noses at her. She lifted her head, surveying the portrait of the man who’d cut off his daughter and his granddaughter when they wouldn’t kowtow to his domineering ways.
‘The last laugh’s on you, Grandad. The farmer’s daughter is Princess, soon to be Queen.’
Yet there was no pleasure in the shallow triumph. She hadn’t come to gloat, but to see if she could put the past behind her and move on.
She wrapped her arms around herself, suppressing a shiver. Despite her determination to accept her lot, to dress the part and learn protocol and all the other things they foisted on her, Luisa couldn’t imagine the future.
What would it hold?
Endless, empty years of public receptions and meaningless small talk? Breathtaking moments of delight when Raul treated her to mind-blowing sex? Heat curled inside at the memory of his loving.
Would she hang onto those moments, desperate for the little Raul could give her when she wanted so much more?
Would her life be sterile of friends and family?
If she had children, how could she protect them from the world that had produced a monster like her grandfather? And Raul had turned into a man of such emotional reserve she wondered if she’d ever build a relationship with him.
She paced to the window, seeking the warmth of the sun streaming in on the luxurious carpet.
Only the best for the Ardissian prince! She’d seen the rundown sections of the city and the bare amenities provided for the palace servants when she’d insisted on seeing all the premises. Her grandfather had spent money on his own comfort rather than his people.
Movement caught her eye. A group of young people made their way across the courtyard. On impulse Luisa opened the window. Laughter, bubbling and fresh, washed around her before they entered a door on the far side of the yard.
Wherever they were going, it appealed more than this place. She closed the window and headed for the door.
Raul drummed his fingers on the car seat as the limo purred towards the Ardissian palace. He lifted a hand to the people lining the street.
He was eager for a break after this intense week. He’d planned to come days ago, but political developments had made it impossible. Now he could please himself.
It pleased him to see his wife.
Five days she’d been away. It seemed far longer. His bed felt empty. His days regimented and predictable, despite the political crisis they’d averted.
Life seemed … less without Luisa.
His lips flattened as he thought of the day she’d announced she’d come here. He’d only just dragged himself from the temptation of her. He’d reeled from an ecstasy unlike any he’d known. And from the unique sense of peace that came from sharing the story of his past.
Was it simply that he’d needed to unburden himself after years keeping it to himself? He couldn’t shake the suspicion that the sensations of release and relief had more to do with the fact it was Luisa he shared with.
Only the most urgent crisis had forced him away, still stunned by the unprecedented sense of peace and pleasure he’d found with her.
And she’d sat there, her sweet mouth a taut line, demanding occupation. Demanding more.
Clearly he hadn’t been enough to satisfy her!
Male pride smarted from the fact she’d been unaffected by what had passed between them, while it had knocked him completely off balance. It had been on the tip of his tongue to beg her not to leave.
Because he needed her! Not just sexually.
He couldn’t remember feeling this way about a woman. Even Ana, at the height of her appeal, hadn’t invaded his thoughts like this.
Raul smoothed his hand over the seat. At night he found himself reaching for Luisa. He felt bereft when she wasn’t there.
Worse was his gut-deep sense of culpability. As the limo pulled up before her ancestral palace, her words came back to haunt him. How desperate she’d been for work to occupy her. Yet another reminder that, despite his attempts to help her adjust, this wasn’t the life she’d chosen.