Was he really such a coward?
His life was an open book. It had been pored over and dissected by the media for years. Yet the discomfort he’d felt answering Luisa’s questions surprised him.
As did the unfamiliar need to open up to her. To share a little of himself.
He frowned. It was absurd. He didn’t need a confessor or a confidante. There was no need for conversation. Yet deep down he knew he lied.
Perhaps because of the sense that he owed her for agreeing to marry?
Whatever the reason, when she shifted as if to move away, he slipped a restraining arm around the curve of her waist and cleared his throat.
‘My father was interested in me only as heir to the throne.’ His voice sounded husky. Raul told himself it was the aftermath of that stunning climax.
‘That’s awful.’ Her words were murmured against his chest. She didn’t look up. Somehow that made it easier.
He shrugged. ‘Staff raised me. That’s the way it’s always been in the royal household. He dropped by just enough to remind me I had to excel to be ready to wear the crown one day.’
‘And you wonder why I’m not ready for children!’
Shock smote him. He’d spoken blithely about the possibility of pregnancy, but the reality hadn’t sunk in. Luisa, pregnant with his child …
‘No child of ours would be raised like that.’ Certainty firmed on the words.
‘Really?’
Raul nodded. He’d spent years adhering to tradition as he fought to stabilise the monarchy and the nation, working behind the scenes as his father’s focus narrowed to pleasing his capricious young wife. It had been Raul who’d tried to redress the damage after the fiasco with Ana.
But some traditions needed change.
‘You have my word.’
He might not be a success as a father. Certainly his father’s model of paternal love had been distant and unemotional. He thought of Peter, the boy with his dog. At least Raul knew what not to do. And Luisa would make up for his shortcomings. She’d be a natural.
He smiled, satisfied at the prospect.
‘Tell me …’ She hesitated.
‘Yes?’
‘Yesterday at the reception. Why did everyone watch you and your stepmother as if they expected a scene?’
Raul drew a heavy breath, satisfaction dissipating in an instant. But Luisa had a right to know. As she’d pointed out, she was his wife. Better to learn the facts from him than from some gossip sheet.
‘Because they know I don’t like her.’ He stroked Luisa’s hair then down her back, distracting himself just a little by the way she arched into his caress.
‘Why not?’ Luisa’s question was a breath of sound. ‘Why don’t you like her?’
Raul clenched his jaw, forcing himself to answer.
‘She pretended to marry him for love. He was proud and arrogant and he’d never been in love before, but he didn’t deserve what he got.’ Even though at first Raul had wished them both to the devil. He’d found no satisfaction seeing his father, weighed down by regret, dwindle into a shadow of the man he’d been.
‘He was duped by a gold-digger half his age who wanted wealth and royal prestige. She spent most of her time with other men. His last years were hell.’
Even in his anger Raul felt a weight slide off his chest. He’d kept his views to himself so long, knowing an unguarded word would inflame the gossip and speculation he’d tried so hard to quash. The truth of his father’s marriage had been guessed by many but never proven.
He’d worked tirelessly to protect his family’s reputation, covering for his father as he grew erratic and less able to control his kingdom. Overcoming a desire to expose Ana for the witch she was. His country needed faith in the monarchy that kept it stable.
‘There’s more, isn’t there? More you’re not telling?’
Raul felt movement and looked down to see Luisa’s bright eyes surveying him. She looked troubled.
Briefly he hesitated. But there was no point refusing to tell her. She could find out easily enough. He looked up at the wood-panelled ceiling, away from her searching gaze.
‘I met Ana in my early twenties. She was my age but unlike any of the girls I knew. She wasn’t aristocratic. She didn’t simper or talk in platitudes. She didn’t talk politics and she didn’t care about court gossip.’
His lips twisted at the memory.
‘She was a breath of fresh air. Vibrant, outspoken, fun. She wasn’t afraid to get her hair messed riding in a convertible, or enjoy a picnic out in the open instead of dinner at a chic restaurant.’ Or so it had seemed.
‘I was smitten.’ Raul halted, drawing a searing breath. It was the first time he’d admitted it. Strange how the memory seemed less shattering. Maybe because he saw his youthful folly clearly since he no longer believed in love.
‘Oh, Raul!’ No mistaking Luisa’s distress. Or the tension in her body. The story wasn’t a pretty one. Suddenly he wanted it over as quickly as possible.
‘It turned out I was wrong about her. She seemed fresh and innocent, uncomplicated and appealing. But she wasn’t what she appeared.’ His mouth twisted.
‘I wasn’t the only one taken in. I introduced her to my father and he fell for her with all the force of an old fool for a very beautiful, very clever young woman.’
Raul remembered those days vividly. Ana had played him, holding him at arm’s length once she got his father in her sights. After all, what price a prince when a king was available, with a kingdom’s wealth at his disposal?
‘My father married her four months later.’
Raul had thought his world had ended. He’d retreated into duty, throwing himself into anything that would dull the pain of betrayal. It had become habit to direct all his passion, all his energies into his royal obligations.
It had worked. Over the years he’d dispensed with the need for emotional ties.
‘Raul, I’m so sorry. That must have been souldestroying.’
Luisa didn’t know the half of it. But it had made him stronger. He was self-sufficient and glad of it.
So why did he feel stripped naked in a way that had nothing to do with his lack of clothes?
‘Do you still … care for her?’
Blindly Raul turned towards Luisa’s voice, finally focusing on her troubled gaze.
‘Care?’ He almost spat the word. ‘For the woman who deceived me and incited my own father to betray me?’ A laugh tore, savage and rough, from his throat. ‘For the woman who made me a laughing stock? She damned near destroyed the monarchy with her scandalous behaviour. She did destroy my father’s pride and honour with her affairs.’
Raul shook his head. ‘I learned a valuable lesson from her. Never to trust. Never to be gullible again. Love is a trap for the unwary.’
It struck him that what had drawn him to Ana all those years ago was what attracted him to Luisa. Her innocence in a world of political machinations. Her directness and honesty. Her beauty. Except in Luisa it was real. In Ana it had been false, designed to snare.
Ana had come to this apartment one morning just months after her wedding. She’d worn sheer black lace and even sheerer audacity and she’d expected Raul to satisfy her as his father hadn’t been able to.
Rancid distaste filled his mouth. It had taken him a long time to banish the taint of that memory, even though he’d spurned her, avoiding her whenever he could.