Until We Touch (Fool's Gold #15)

She cradled Dyna and sat up, then wiped her face. She really had to get moving on her day. For one thing, she had to clear out her stuff from Score. Although just thinking about that was enough to get her crying again.

She set her cat on the warm sofa cushion and walked into her tiny kitchen. Once there she boiled water for tea and then sniffed through waiting for the bag to steep. Once the tea was ready, she carried it back to the living room and set it on the coffee table.

She stared at the pad of paper she’d dug out sometime in the long night. She needed to start making lists. If she didn’t work at Score, what was she going to do with her life? Should she stay in Fool’s Gold or move back to L.A.? The former meant seeing Jack, which added a whole new level of salt in the wound, while leaving was a lot like giving up. More important, she really liked living in Fool’s Gold. She liked her friends and the community. She wanted to see it at Christmas and in the spring.

Just as pressing was how she was going to make her living. She’d never been much of a saver. All her extra money had gone to various causes. She looked around the apartment and consoled herself with the fact that the rent was cheap. So she could stay and get a job.

She heard footsteps on the stairs outside her door, followed by a knock. Her heart knew better than to hope, so she figured her visitor had to be one of her friends.

She opened the front door and found both Taryn and Bailey waiting for her. An unusual pairing, she thought, fighting more tears. At some point, wasn’t she going to run out of fluids?

Taryn didn’t say anything. Instead, she reached for Larissa and held her close.

“That man is a total jackass. I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s something. And I’m willing to bet it’s all about him and not us. Even so, I’m sorry he hurt you.”

Larissa accepted the comforting and told herself that having good friends was going to get her through this. Bailey hugged her, as well, then they all went into the apartment.

“How did you find out?” Larissa asked when she’d gotten her guests tea and they’d settled on the sofa and single chair. Dyna remained loyal and curled up on Larissa’s lap.

Taryn groaned. “He called me this morning. He said he wouldn’t be in and you wouldn’t, either. I figured that was good news until he said he’d fired you.” She reached across the couch and took Larissa’s hand. “So what happened?”

“I don’t know,” Larissa admitted. “He was upset and we were talking. I wanted to know what had gone on between him and Percy.” She thought about what Jack had told her and still had trouble believing it.

“Jonny Blaze asked if he was Percy’s father. Jack took the question badly. He said he would be a lousy father, which I don’t think is true. He holds himself back a lot emotionally but I know he cares. If he had a child—”

Taryn squeezed her fingers. “Honey, stay on topic please.”

“What? Oh. Sorry. He said that Percy was a problem that wouldn’t go away.”

Bailey winced. “And Percy heard? No wonder he left. I feel so awful for him. That would have been devastating.”

“Jack’s on a roll,” Taryn muttered. “He blew me off and he was a real jerk about it.”

“He’s overwhelmed by everything that’s happening,” Larissa said quickly. “He was offered the job of rebuilding the university’s football team. I think he wants to take it but he won’t let himself. Because he can’t do it without connecting with the players. And he doesn’t want to risk himself by caring. You know, because of everything that happened to him with his brother.”

Taryn swore. “You are way too nice. Stop defending him. Jack ripped out your heart and did a touchdown dance on the pieces.”

Larissa swallowed against the lump in her throat. “I know what he did.”

Taryn groaned, then leaned toward her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be insensitive. It’s just you’re still taking his side in all this.”

“I can’t help it. I understand what he went through as a kid—always having to be the good one, the quiet one, because Lucas was sick. Then his brother got the transplant and for a little while Jack believed he was going to have a normal life.”

Taryn sighed. “You’re making me crazy. You know that, right?”

“I do.”

Taryn looked at Bailey. “Jack’s brother had a heart condition that required a transplant. Only it didn’t go well and he died. Then Jack’s parents took off, leaving him on his own.” She turned back to Larissa. “Okay, he had it rough. That doesn’t excuse what he’s doing now.”

“No, it doesn’t, but it explains it.” She thought about what it was like to be with Jack and knew that bad with him was better than great with anyone else. “I love him. I don’t want to get over him and find someone else. I want him to love me back. I want us to be together always.” The tears returned and filled her eyes. “He doesn’t want me. What if I love him forever?”