Until We Touch (Fool's Gold #15)

JACK SAT ALONE in his living room. He’d thought that he would have a steady stream of people stopping by to tell him off, but so far there hadn’t even been one. He’d taken the last two damned chiweenies for a walk earlier that morning, hoping someone somewhere would yell at him, but they hadn’t. He’d marched through the center of town with dogs happily trotting along with him and hadn’t heard a word.

What was wrong with this place? Why weren’t they outside his house with torches and pitchforks?

His front door opened. He sat up straighter wondering if Larissa had...

Sam and Kenny walked into the living room. Jack told himself it was for the better. He couldn’t be around Larissa anymore. Not only had he hurt her—and that was in itself inexcusable—but he didn’t deserve her. She was light and good and he was nothing but a useless shell. She gave and he took up space.

He stood and waited for his friends to approach. They both looked determined. With luck, they would beat him into unconsciousness. Right now not being able to think was worth any price.

“You look like shit,” Kenny said conversationally.

“I haven’t been sleeping.”

“Good,” Sam told him. “Dammit, Jack, what the hell? Is there anyone you haven’t tried to hurt in the past couple of days? Percy is just a kid and Taryn is your best friend. I won’t even mention Larissa whose biggest crime is caring about your sorry ass. You’re a piss-poor excuse for a man.”

The words fell like rain on parched soil. They were a balm. At last, he thought with relief. Someone was going to call him on all his crap. Someone was going to tell him to his face what a useless piece of shit he was. Someone was going to speak the truth.

No one had in such a long time. Not since his brother had died.

“Sam’s right,” Kenny said. “Hasn’t Percy been through enough already? He’s homeless, Jack. He’s got nothing and you’re making him feel worse. Taryn’s looking at the happiest day of her life and you’re trying to ruin it.” The larger man approached, stopping only when he was directly in front of Jack. “You made Larissa cry. She loves you. She cares about you and you hurt her.”

He never saw the fist coming. Kenny had speed and power on his side. One second there was nothing and the next a world of pain exploded in Jack’s face. He heard the crunch of cartilage, but not the snap of bone. He staggered, and then went down on one knee. Probably because he hadn’t eaten or slept in several days, he thought woozily. He struggled to stand, then faced his friend.

“Thanks,” he said hoarsely. “Hit me again.”

Kenny shook his head. “You’re not trying to defend yourself. I’m not going to hit you when you’re down.”

“I’m not down. I’m standing.”

“You’re messed up. You need help.”

Sam walked toward the kitchen. “You’re really stupid, Jack. You know that, right?”

Jack nodded. “You’re not going to hit me again?”

“No,” Kenny said. “You’re not worth it.”

The final blow. He hadn’t seen that one coming. Jack sank back onto the sofa and put his head in his hands. A big mistake when he pressed against where Kenny had hit him. His jaw was already swelling and it hurt like hell.

Good, he told himself. He would focus on the pain.

Sam returned with an ice pack, three glasses and an unopened bottle of Scotch. One of the last ones, Jack thought eyeing the bottle. He’d told himself he needed to stop drinking, but then figured it didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if he was driving anywhere. Staying drunk for the rest of his life might solve all his problems.

Sam poured the amber liquid into three glasses, then handed them out. He passed the ice pack to Jack.

Jack took a couple of sips. He eased the ice pack into place and hissed when it touched his bruised skin.

“You see Taryn?” he asked.

There was a moment of silence. He would guess Sam and Kenny were exchanging glances, each urging the other to speak. Not that Jack was looking—he had his eyes closed.

“She’s pissed and hurt,” Kenny said at last. “She won’t say why. We’re assuming you were a dick.”

“I was.” The things he’d said to her. He’d been so cruel. And for what? He loved Taryn. They’d been there for each other for over a decade. He’d married her and they’d nearly had a child together.

He drew in a breath. That was the worst of it. He didn’t know why he’d lashed out. But he had. He’d hurt her and Percy and...

He couldn’t even think her name, let alone say it. Even though the sun was out, the sky was darker now, the world colder. Without Larissa, there was nothing. And yet he’d pushed her away, too. Had forced her to go in a way that made sure she would never come back.

She loved him and he’d destroyed her.

He put down his glass and looked at his friends. “Get out.”

They stared at him, looked at each other, then put down their glasses.

“Sure thing,” Sam said, scooping up one of the chiweenies.

Kenny grabbed the other. “Don’t come back to Score,” he said before heading for the door. “You’re no longer welcome.”

They closed the door behind them. They didn’t slam it. That would say too much. Give him too much. Instead, they closed it quietly and Jack found himself exactly where he’d said he wanted to be. Completely and totally alone.