CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, TESS, AIDEN looks like total crap.” Kira smiled in a show of support. The gym was loud around us as the Wildcats raced from one end of the court to the other during the final round of the playoffs. But Aiden seemed exhausted, dribbling the ball with little oomph.
Luckily for Kira, my requirement for clean language had been relaxed over the weeks. In fact, every image-conscious thing I’d ever worried about seemed absolutely petty and ridiculous. I didn’t even wear ribbons anymore.
Cheering through the playoffs had been difficult. Good thing this was the last game. My self-esteem was in the gutter. I was a horrible role model, and worse yet, I was a cheater. Of sorts. I mean, sure, I’d been manipulated, but nothing excused the fact that my passion pink lips were on the mouth of someone other than my boyfriend. I’d even used my tongue. Gross.
I dropped my head, staring down at the shiny wood of the gymnasium floor. My pom-poms hung lifelessly at my side. There was no cheer that could help me now.
The shrill sound of the buzzer startled me. I felt the girls line up, poised to tell the Wildcats to attack, but I stared at Aiden. His hands were on his hips as he talked to Coach Taylor, nodding. He looked so cute in his basketball shorts. I remembered how much I always liked him after a game. All sweaty and manly. We weren’t as perfect as I’d thought, but we’d been happy. I knew that.
Why had I been so quick to think he was cheating? My suspicion had gone from zero to sixty in a nanosecond. Sure, there was SOS and the history of cheaters, but Aiden didn’t have a history. Maybe we really had simply grown apart. I sniffled.
I’d never brush his damp hair away from his face again. Or hear his tender whispers in my ear as he massaged my shoulders. I’d totally effed up. My life was a mess.
“Tess,” Kira called, smacking my shoulder with a gray and maroon pom-pom.
Right. The buzzer had sounded, signaling that warm-ups were over. I was supposed to lead an encouraging cheer. I closed my eyes and took a steadying breath.
I was still a Smitten Kitten. People depended on me.
There was a distinct squeak as my sneakered toes crossed the planks to the middle of the court. It was soon followed by the sound of eight other squeaks. I looked at the crowd. They were pumped. People had actually painted their faces to look like cats. Normally, that would have made me smile. But now, I could only force a grin.
I lifted my maroon and gray pom-poms in the air and shook them. The room quieted at the familiar swooshing I provided. I knew the usual cheer, but it didn’t seem to fit the mood I was in. Something about being miserable made me less perky. Then I began a stomp, soon to be joined by my squad.
“Get the ball, get, get the ball.”
They echoed.
“Ducks will fall, yes, yes, they’ll fall.”
Echoed again.
“Score it, dunk it, BEAT THOSE DUCKS!”
“Let’s show them, WE DON’T GIVE A F*ck!”
The crowd finished the sentence with me and then went wild with crazy screams and uproarious laughter. Well, that pumped them up. I dropped my pom-poms to my side and turned. The girls stared at me, mouths agape. The opposing team looked at me, almost frightened by the frenzy I’d created. And then the Wildcats looked at me, mostly impressed. Except Aiden. He stared at me with a look of surprise I’d never seen. He’d been so obnoxiously calm. It was nice to see that I could still ruffle his fur.
My sneakers let off an admittedly adorable perky sound as I marched back over to the sidelines. The crowd was chanting, “Sex Kittens!” They should have probably been saying, “Wildcats!” or even, “Smitten Kittens!” But what the hay, at least they were making noise.
I dropped crossed-legged on the floor and folded my hands delicately on my lap. My squad walked over, watching me like they were afraid I might pull out a switchblade and murder them at any second. I was not unaware that they all sat at least three feet from me.
The players took the court, some laughing. Aiden shot a glance over to me, still wide-eyed. I almost smiled at him, but he looked away before I could. The plump ref stood in between Dwayne and a Duck. I was mildly amused that the opposing player actually resembled his mascot. Ducks were so lame.
The room hushed. The ref tossed the ball into the air and both boys jumped. Dwayne was the first to touch it, knocking it toward Aiden. Aiden snatched it out of the air and pulled it down. He began dribbling it toward the basket, then stopped, standing at the outside of the key. Coach Taylor screamed out a play. Aiden continued to dribble and nodded at him. He passed the ball to the center, who in turn attempted a layup. It bounced off the rim into the hand of a Duck, and the teams raced down to the other end of the court.
Aiden was slow. Watching him now, I realized how right Kira was. He looked like a pile of sugar cubes. His shirt wasn’t even tucked in.
The next twenty-four minutes were a slaughter. The Wildcats only scored twelve points. The Ducks had scored forty-eight. When the halftime buzzer finally sounded, the entire gymnasium let out a sigh of relief. There was only so much pain a group of overeager spectators could take.
“Tessa?” Kira approached me slowly. Her blue eyes watched me cautiously.
“Yes?”
“Um. Did you have a specific cheer in mind for halftime?” She looked frightened. I realized she’d never heard me cuss before. It must have made me look pretty hard core.
“K …” I paused and looked at the rest of the squad. They’d lost faith in me. I’d been a total downer for weeks and, as a result, the Smitten Kittens had lost their purr. SOS was dead. There was only one thing to do. Step aside. “You lead them,” I told Kira, lifting my chin to her.
She gasped. Then the rest of the squad gasped. Well, except Leona. She said something closer to, “You have got to be kidding me.”
Kira began to tear up and I smiled. She deserved this moment. She’d been loyal all this time. She’d been cheated on, lost out on Christian, and yet—she’d never let it affect her cheering. She should lead the big game.
“Really?” she choked.
“Yeah. Really?” Leona asked, unnerved.
“Kira is your lead today,” I announced, sounding brave. “Make me proud, girls. I’m sitting this one out.”
They looked me over sympathetically. I was one sad Kitty. They could see I needed a rest. With a quick embrace, Kira thanked me and jogged out enthusiastically into center court as the players filtered into the locker room.
The squad began a spirit-inspiring cheer about making a comeback, and I took my spot on the gym floor sideline. I picked at the shiny gray material of the pom-pom. Maybe I’d just go home. I glanced up into the crowd and saw my parents waving at me. They were so sweet.
Then out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aiden’s mom. We looked at each other, and I totally expected her to gloat in some way. Instead, she raised her hand in greeting, giving me a small smile—almost like she was happy to see me. Stunned, I smiled back politely and then turned to look down into my lap. That was very strange. Quite odd.
Truth was, there was no reason for me to be here anymore. In fact, I was surely the reason Aiden was messing up. He was probably wishing I were gone. He’d never forgive me, let alone speak to me.
I was just about to stand up when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I twirled on my butt and came face to crotch with Christian. My lip curled.
“Sorry,” he said and took a step back. “I know you don’t want to see me.”
“You’re right. I don’t.”
“I just want to talk to you.”
I pursed my lips. Yuck. I couldn’t believe I fell for his lies. I couldn’t believe I knew what he tasted like.
“I’m sorry I kissed you,” he said, standing and looking down at me.
That was surprising. I hadn’t expected him to say that. “You are?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “You were upset. I sort of took advantage of that. It wasn’t right. I just really liked you, Tessa. I just wanted a chance.”
He meant it. His face was obvious in its admiration. And suddenly, I kind of forgave him. Oprah once said that forgiveness was the first step in healing. And even though Christian’s actions were heinous and completely out of line, the boy took a chance. There was a time when I would have fought that hard for Aiden. I should have fought harder.
“Sorry,” Christian mumbled.
“Thanks for your apology,” I said. He met my eyes and grinned, a glimmer of hope sparkling there. “But.” I held up a finger at him. “I still think you’re a jerk, and I’m still not interested. Clear?”
His smile faltered. “Crystal.”
I sat and he stood, and we looked at each other. The sounds in the gym were relatively quiet. Our team was getting the stuffing beat out of them; that generally cramped school spirit. I could hear Kira’s voice shouting chants, but Christian took a step toward me. I felt immediate panic as I realized that he was going to embrace me. Wait. He wanted a hug? Had he lost his marbles?
A roar rose from the crowd behind him and I looked up into the stands. The fans were cheering and pointing toward the court. I turned slowly, wondering if Kira’s cheer had gone terribly wrong. Instead, I saw Aiden, stalking out of the locker room and crossing center court.
My eyebrows pulled together. What was he doing? Why wasn’t he involved in the coach’s halftime talk? As he got closer, Kira’s voice trailed off as she watched him stomp past the cheer squad.
Oh. My. Word. He was walking toward me. I was still cross-legged on the floor, with my lip-locking mistake hovering over me.
Aiden’s face was red. Holy snapdragon! The boy looked angry, He looked …
“Damn,” Christian mumbled.
I flipped my head back to look at him just as a fist connected with his jaw in a loud thwack. I screamed, my eyes following the length of the tan arm that was attached to Aiden’s body.
Christian stumbled backward, landing in the laps of a stunned front-row fan fest. The crowd erupted in cheers. Did they think this was a stunt? Part of the halftime show? Or were they just happy to watch Christian get hit?
Wait. Aiden just punched someone in the face. He totally just hit someone without provocation. I got to my knees, beginning to scramble up to sort out the situation.
Suddenly, Aiden took me by the elbow and pulled me to my feet.
“What—”
“Zip it, Tess,” Aiden said as he tugged me toward the locker room. And although I appreciated him defending my honor … or his, I was not about to be yanked across the court. I pulled my arm out of his grasp and swung to face him.
The Smitten Kittens parted around us, leaving Aiden and I sneaker to sneaker in center court. The crowd quieted. I was only mildly aware that we had become the halftime entertainment.
“You … punched someone back there,” I said to Aiden as he panted in front of me. It was all I could think of to say.
“I know.”
“Um … You’re supposed to be in the locker room. Your team is losing.”
“I know that too.” Aiden glanced back over to the bleachers, to where Christian was holding his jaw, watching us. “You want to go help your boyfriend?” he asked loudly.
I narrowed my eyes. “No. I’m glad you punched him,” I said back, motioning my hand to Christian. The crowd snickered. The acoustics in here were amazing. I hadn’t even been projecting.
“Really?” Aiden put his hands on his hips. “What? Did you two break up or something?”
“Sick! I was never with him in the first place. It was a mistake, Aiden. He tricked me. He told me you were cheating on me or at least implied it.” Okay, so I jumped to the conclusion on my own, but Christian had set the fur ball in motion.
Aiden seemed to consider this. He stepped closer to me, using the back of his palm to wipe the sweat off his forehead. “You weren’t dating him?”
I shook my head. “No. Never.”
Aiden adjusted the waistband of his basketball shorts as he looked over at the crowd. Then he turned back to me. “You should have told me everything,” he whispered. “Even about SOS.”
“I wish I had.”
“I would have told you to stop… .” he added with a smirk.
“I wouldn’t have listened.”
“Yeah. I know you wouldn’t have.” He smiled. “But I’m sure we would’ve worked it out somehow. An arm-wrestling match, maybe.”
I laughed. “Maybe.”
Aiden’s grin faded as he watched me. “You lied to me, Tess,” he said seriously. “You lied a lot.”
There were murmurings in the audience, and I wondered if they could hear everything, hear how sorry I was.
“I never meant to hurt you.” And I hadn’t. I would take it all back in a heartbeat.
He nodded, staring at me as I began to chew on my lip. At least he was talking to me. That was progress, and I should have been ecstatic. But I could smell his perspiration, and I felt the tingles that came along with being this close to him.
I still wanted him. I belonged with him. But I’d betrayed him, and I wasn’t sure I would ever forgive myself for that.
I looked over my shoulder into the bleachers. My mother was sitting there with the Wildcats sign in her lap and her hand over her mouth. My father leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he watched us. When he saw me notice him, he waved. Then I looked to Aiden’s mom, almost expecting her to be holding a “So Long, Tessa” sign, but she looked supportively down at us. Maybe things had changed.
Aiden touched my elbow, drawing me to him. “Tessa.” He paused. “I forgive you.” When I looked at him, his beautiful green eyes were glassy.
“You do?” My breath came out in jagged gasps. He nodded.
“But…”
My heart sank.
He looked me over. “I don’t know if we can fix this. I’m … hurt, baby. I’m so hurt.”
I wanted to make it better, rewind time and erase what I’d done. But all I could do was try to smile.
He reached out to hold my cheek. “You’re always so brave,” he said adoringly. “Always smiling for me.”
“Because you make me happy,” I choked out, not wanting him to leave me.
Aiden sniffled, a tear running down his already-glistening cheek. “And you’re my little ray of sunshine,” he whispered.
I wanted to plead, but I didn’t. Because I knew that we needed time to figure things out if we hoped to figure them out at all. This was my chance to find out just who the heck I really was, because I wasn’t sure anymore. I’d been a Smitten Kitten, an SOS operative, a perfect daughter, and Aiden’s girlfriend. But now I needed to find me.
“You’re right,” I said finally. “I think more time apart is a good idea.” And it broke my heart to say it.
Aiden closed his eyes, his nostrils flaring as he stood in front of me, breathing and hanging his head. There were a couple of calls from the audience—things like: “Kiss her” and “Get back to the game.” It was nice of them to care. Aiden and I had been perfect together. Or almost perfect.
Aiden opened his eyes. “You’re my girl, Tessa Crimson. You’ll always be my girl.” He brought me close to him and wrapped me up in his arms, staring down into my face. “And even if we aren’t together, that won’t change.”
“We could be the happiest undating couple ever.” I smiled at him.
He laughed. “Something like that.”
Someone began a slow clap. I looked over to see my dad standing, slapping his hands together loudly. My mother stood up next to him and joined in. Soon the entire gymnasium was cheering for us, applauding the saddest breakup in the history of breakups. And yet I knew it’d be okay. Even apart, Aiden and I could still love each other.
“Hey.” Aiden leaned close, grinning, looking sideways at the bleachers. “Give me a kiss,” he whispered. “You know, for the crowd.”
I’d kiss him, all right. I’d kiss him good and plenty.
I licked my more-than-eager lips and got up on my tiptoes to press them to his. I was so happy that he’d touch my mouth again that I balled his jersey up in my hand and pulled him closer to me. Aiden and I made out—right there in center court. As the halftime show.
The crowd erupted. It was so loud that I had to reach up and cover my ears. Aiden chuckled and released me, giving the crowd a double thumbs-up. Then he turned back to me.
“You are definitely a Sex Kitten,” Aiden said, looking me over.
I was about to correct him when he held up his finger.
“I mean Smitten Kitten.”
“Thank you.”
We watched each other amid the screaming fans as both of our smiles began to fade. “I’m gonna miss you, baby,” he whispered.
I pressed my lips together to keep from crying and ruining the moment. “Not as much as I’ll miss you, Wildcat.”
Just then, the locker room door swung open and clanged loudly against the cement wall of the gymnasium. Coach Taylor came storming out. My heart sped up. Something told me that he might be a little PO’d at Aiden. When he got to us, he crossed his stocky arms across his chest and glared.
“What’s up, Coach?” Aiden asked. He was still staring at me, looking nostalgic.
“What’s up?” Coach Taylor looked ready to pounce. “Oh, I don’t know, son. How about the fact that you walked out on my speech, attacked another student, and are making a spectacle in center court during halftime? Is that enough up?”
Aiden chuckled. “Am I suspended, then?” I darted a nervous glance between them.
“No,” Coach Taylor said, looking into the bleachers. “Luckily for you the Ducks are winning. They’re so high off their own fumes, they didn’t hear a thing from the locker room. The principal was calling for your removal, but I talked him into suspending you from school starting tomorrow,” he said gruffly, pulling up on and adjusting the waistband on his khakis. “You think I’m gonna let my star player get kicked out of the finals?”
Glad his priorities were in order. The playoffs came first.
“Tessa?” Coach Taylor asked, and looked at me. “Do you mind if Aiden fulfills his commitment to his team?” He was being sarcastic.
“No, sir.”
Aiden reached over to touch my fingers. “Go cheer for me, baby,” he said, leaning quickly to kiss my cheek. Then he walked over to slap his coach on the back. “Well, then, let’s go!” he said wide-eyed, like Coach Taylor was the one slowing them up.
Coach Taylor exhaled as if he’d been worried that Aiden was a lost cause. He followed my ex-boyfriend as they jogged toward the lockers. Aiden turned back once to wave at me, and I giggled. He was so dang cute.
Kira stared at me as I approached the sidelines. Her face was unreadable. I paused in front of her, reaching down to pick up my pom-poms. The rest of the girls were cheering from the line, but Kira watched me. I looked behind us at the crowd, happy to see that Christian was gone. My father winked at me from behind his glasses. He was purely peachy.
“So,” Kira said, slapping my hip with her pom-pom. “What was up with the make-out session? You two still broken up and shit?”
“Kira. Language.”
She beamed. “Welcome back, Tess. The Smitten Kittens have missed the snot out of you.” Clever girl. She’d been testing me.
I wrapped my pom-pomed hands around her and gave her a hug. She was a great friend and—for the rest of the season—captain. Even though the season ended tonight.
“All right,” I announced as I pulled back. “Let’s win this game with our school spirit.”
She jumped up and down. The rest of the girls keyed into our enthusiasm, and the squad was in full effect. Even Leona was smiling.
Twenty minutes and fifteen cheers later, the Wildcats lost by three points. It was disappointing, but I was pretty sure that Aiden and I were both still in good moods. As his coach shook his head on the sideline, Aiden kept looking over at me and waving. He was whipped cream, even if he didn’t belong to me anymore.
I’d take some time, reevaluate my goals. Maybe think up some new cheers. And then, who knew what would happen.
There would always be time for Aiden. After all, Kittens had nine lives.
SOS UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT
Dear Clients,
I’m happy to announce the reforming of SOS. Due to a change in leadership, services were temporarily put on hold. But now we’re back and totally badass.
If your boyfriend is acting suspicious, text a cheater request form to our new number at 555-1863 but be specific. For us to catch him in the act, we’ll need to know exactly who he’s doing.
Again, we’re psyched to help out the girls of Washington High in their quest for a decent boyfriend. We’re currently updating our Naughty List roster, so text with any important information.
There is now a fee schedule for our services, but for the grand reopening, we’ll offer a 50 percent discount to the first ten clients.
We’re back. And we’re going to kick cheating ass.