CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE WORLD SORT OF FELL APART AROUND ME. There were colors, and not pretty rainbow ones, but dark, shaded ones. The sounds in my ears began to echo. I stood up, knocking my tray onto the floor but not looking down at it. I dropped the SOS phone onto the table and backed away. Kira’s voice was faintly there, calling me, but I looked straight ahead.
It… wasn’t true. Not after two years. Not like this.
“I have to go,” I said absently. “I’ll call you later.” I began walking out of the cafeteria, not quite sure where I was going, but just away. I half expected a Smitten Kitten to come after me, but no one did. They were devastated. Not only had Aiden been the perfect boyfriend, he’d been my boyfriend. And hadn’t I been perfect?
As I walked the empty halls, I choked when a few whimpers escaped from my throat, but I recovered. I would never cry at school. No way. I only had about five minutes before the bell would ring, flooding the walkways with students. I needed to escape before then.
The big double doors of the school’s front entrance loomed ahead, and I didn’t even stop at my locker. I’d get home, find my mom and dad, and ask them. They knew Aiden. They knew he’d never—
I skidded to a stop. I had no way home. Gingersnaps!
“Tess?”
Christian was next to me. He was always there. But rather than give him a dirty look or politely tell him to go away, I burst out crying. Hysterical, drama queen sobbing.
His arm reached over my shoulders, and soon we were walking into the sunshine of the parking lot. I didn’t argue, not that I could; I was covering my face, unable to control my fit.
“Shh …” he said soothingly, and it was soothing. It was almost nice. I put my head on his chest, smelling him, trying to fight back the last few tears.
“Get in.” He opened the passenger door of his car, and I did just that. I got in. Again.
I kept my head against the cool window, my face feeling swollen, as he drove toward my house. I saw the trees and houses as we passed but didn’t recognize any of it. And I didn’t care.
I cleared my throat. “Do you think there’s something going on with Aiden and your sister?” My voice was hoarse.
“Where’d you hear that?” Christian asked.
I turned slowly to him, my lips feeling dry and chapped. “SOS just got a possible cheater form. It was about Aiden and… your sister.” I resisted the urge to call her a harsh name, but it was so close to the tip of my tongue, I was alarmed. I hadn’t sworn in years.
“Oh.”
I waited, but that was all he said. “Did you know?” I demanded.
“No.” He shook his head, adjusting the heater. “To be honest…” He looked sideways at me. “I can’t believe that anyone would cheat on you.”
My mouth opened in surprise. It was a puppy-dog statement, and despite what had just happened, I smiled. If Christian could be this fond of me, surely Aiden still was?
It gave me renewed hope. “I don’t think it’s true,” I said as a new sense of calm fell over me.
“You… don’t?” He sounded truly surprised.
“No. I won’t believe it.” My chest filled with possibility. “Aiden loves me. I’m his life.”
Christian didn’t say anything, but when he pulled up in front of my house, he shut off his car. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.
“Thanks for the ride. I’m okay now.” I was perky. If I could stay like this, things would be okay.
Christian pulled his eyebrows together. “Tessa,” he whispered. “It’s none of my business; you’ve made yourself clear. But I’d hate to see you get screwed over like this.”
I winced, feeling slapped by his words.
“Sorry.” He shook his head. “Listen, I’ll be honest, I do believe it. And I … I want to suggest something.”
I didn’t like how easily he accepted Aiden’s unfaithfulness. But then again, he didn’t know him like I did. “No, thanks—”
“One more mission,” Christian said. “Just one. No one even has to know.”
My stomach flipped, and the air seemed to escape from the car. I hadn’t considered—I would never consider—spying on Aiden.
I shook my head.
“You’re a professional, Tessa. You run a wildly successful nonprofit organization,” Christian said, looking down at the steering wheel. “If he wasn’t your boyfriend, would you be investigating him?”
“I’m not going to stake out Aiden,” I said simply. It wasn’t right. It would mean I thought he was cheating, and I didn’t. I wouldn’t.
“I’ll help you,” he said softly. “And I promise I am only there to help. No touching you. Nothing.”
Right. I may have been upset, but I wasn’t stupid. “Not going to happen,” I said. He turned to me suddenly.
“Okay, I didn’t want to say anything,” he blurted, like he’d been holding in a secret for a while. “Aiden’s going out with my sister tonight.”
My insides collapsed. “What?” No. No. No.
“Man, Tessa,” Christian whined. “I hate having to be the one to tell you this.” He shook his head. “I never believe Chloe. But she said that tonight they’re going out to dinner and then to his house. She told me his mother’s out of town.”
I gagged but quickly got his door open to dry-heave outside. No puke. My head spun and I dragged myself out of the car to sit at the curb, putting my elbows on my knees and holding my head in my hands. Aiden’s mother was out of town. That was true.
Christian got out and walked around the car, his sandals scraping on the pavement. He sat next to me on the curb and then bumped his knee against mine. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I was trying to not hurt you. You could just dump him, Tessa. You don’t have to spy on him.”
But a force rippled through me, making me shiver, and then it passed. It was gone. The pain was gone. I had become SOS. I had become the client and the spy.
“Where were they going to dinner?” I asked, my voice thick. I felt suddenly cold. Emotionally and physically. I was shaking.
“I don’t know,” Christian said. He was trying to talk quietly, be comforting. But there was little he could do for me now. I needed to know. I needed to know that it wasn’t true.
I turned to Christian and our faces were close, but I didn’t feel any tingles. There were no prickles. I was numb. “Pick me up at nine,” I said.
Without another glance, I stood up, crossing my arms over my chest, and walked inside my house.
What to tell the Smitten Kittens? They’d want to know what I was going to do about Aiden. I sat on my couch, my sneakered feet on the coffee table as I tried to think of an answer.
I looked at my phone. It didn’t ring. I bit my lip, hard enough to make it hurt. Then I marched into my room, snatched my cheerleading uniform, and slid it on before grabbing my car keys and heading back to school.
The squad was waiting for me in the gym, sitting on the bleachers looking downright nauseous. I was glad they were worried about me, but it would make what I was about to say that much harder.
“Tess?” Kira asked, jumping up. Her shoes squeaked as she crossed the floor. She was looking over my uniform, seemingly worried. Most of the girls were in their spandex or workout clothes. I was in complete uniform, ponytail, and ribbons. It helped me feel better. I felt stronger like this.
I waved Kira off and she stopped dead in front of me. Normally, I would have smiled. Instead, I closed my eyes. “I quit SOS,” I said quietly.
“No!” Izzie yelled, her shout echoing through the gymnasium as she began to cry.
“Chill out, Iz,” Leona said. I looked at her. She nodded at me.
“I’m sorry, girls. I just… can’t do it anymore. Every day, every boy, all I think is, ‘Is he cheating?’ Then the one person I should have been sure about…” I didn’t finish the sentence. I still didn’t want to believe it was true about Aiden. The warning signs had all been there. I just chose to ignore them. There was only one more thing to do, and then I was done with the spying business. Forever.
“It’ll be okay,” Kira said to me, her blue eyes filled with tears. “Maybe—”
“I just quit,” I said again, feeling the impact of my words. “It’s over. I can’t take the lying, the cheating, the broken hearts….” I sniffled. Corn bread muffin! I was going to cry too.
Instead, I cleared my throat. “I can’t cheer this weekend.” I stepped up to Kira, putting my hands on the shoulders of her spandex top, staring seriously into her face. “K, you’re lead until I get back.”
She gasped. Leona growled.
The worry left Kira’s face, and she jumped up and down, clapping. It sort of warmed my heart. But only for a second, because I knew I was lying. SOS might be over, but there was one more mission. Without the squad. I dropped my head, backing away.
“I’ll see you later,” I said quietly, moving toward the double doors.
“Tessa,” Leona called out. I turned back to look at her. “Be careful,” she said.
We stared at each other. Then I smiled like a true Smitten Kitten and left to spy on my sweetie. Or at least, the boy that used to be my sweetie.
Christian’s eyes widened as I got in his car, still in uniform. He had gone to the trouble of putting on a fitted black sweater and black pants. There was even a beanie on his console.
“You’re … you’re spying in that?” he asked, sounding unsure.
“Yep. I draw my strength from the skirt.”
He laughed, but when I didn’t, he turned back to the street. Had I cracked? Possibly. But it didn’t matter. After this, everything I ever was could be wrecked. What difference would it make if I were wearing a cheerleading uniform?
“Do you have gear to set up?” Christian asked as he pulled his Honda into the street.
“Don’t need it.” Wow. I sounded pretty tough—like, monotone tough. Christian looked a little scared, but I was anxious. Numb, yet anxious.
“Tess—”
“I’m not recording anything,” I said. “This isn’t an assignment. I just need to know, okay? For myself.” My eyes stung, and when I looked at him, he met my gaze, looking sorry. It was nice of him to feel so bad for me. He looked guilty, even.
I turned toward the passenger window, feeling dread slowly creep in as I stared out over the darkened streets. Aiden and Chloe. Let it not be true. By Cleopatra’s crown! Let it be a lie.
Rolling down the window, I put my face out into the wind. I could remember Aiden at the recycling speech when I was a freshman. He presented the reasons I should go out with him. And his number one was, “Because she lights up my life with her own brand of sunshine.” It was even listed on the flowchart behind him.
Then he hopped down off the stage and walked across the auditorium straight to me. I just about died. People were calling out, cheering, laughing.
But rather than saying anything, Aiden just dropped down in the seat next to me and stared straight ahead, as if it was the most normal place for him to be. Stunned, I looked at the side of his face, deciding that it was not only adorable but sweet, too.
I’d turned to the stage and nestled back in my seat, shoulder to shoulder with Aiden Wilder. The rest of the school stopped watching us and looked up at Principal Pelli, who was still standing there, sort of shocked.
Aiden leaned his head sideways toward me, still staring forward. “Is that a yes?” he’d whispered.
I bit on my lip, glancing down as he held his hand out to me. Well, if that wasn’t strawberry smoothie, then I didn’t know what was. I took his hand—of course I did. And since then, I hadn’t let go. So why did he? Why did Aiden let me go?
I sniffled.
“Tessa?” Christian asked. “We’ll just wait at his house, okay? We don’t need to go driving all over town or anything.” He put his hand tentatively on my knee.
I was too sick at heart to push it away. Aiden out to dinner with another girl. I wondered if he’d ever done it before. Put food in his mouth alone with another girl.
I wanted him back. I wanted my Aiden back. My bottom lip quivered and I bit on it, trying to keep it steady.
After a long minute, Christian took his fingers off my body and put them back where they belonged. On the steering wheel. He parked down the street from Aiden’s house and cut the engine.
“I brought a couple of sodas, if you’re thirsty,” Christian whispered, turning the ignition key so that he could put on the radio. He might have been trying to be romantic since he had Radiohead playing low, filtering in through the speakers. I was sure the skirt didn’t help keep things platonic. Boys just didn’t respect it. It made them all goofy. Just then, Christian glanced at my legs.
Even though I wasn’t thirsty, I nodded when he offered me a soda from a cooler in the backseat. We sat quietly, listening to music. It was nearly ten o’clock. Could they still be at dinner?
“So what else did your sister tell you?” I asked. If she was sneaking around with my boyfriend, she’d have something to say about it. The boy was talented at more than just basketball.
“Nothing. My sister hardly talks to me at home. And she especially doesn’t talk to me about the guys she’s dating.”
Hold on. “She is not dating Aiden,” I said forcefully. I nearly spilled my can of pop. If he cheated, that was one severely messed-up thing, but dating? No. Not likely.
Christian shook his head. “Sorry. You’re right. I just mean, she hasn’t said anything about him to me. Other than that they were going to dinner.”
Franks and beans! I wanted to cry again. I couldn’t take this emotional roller coaster I was on. This was all too much. I should just call Aiden and ask him what was going on. He’d tell me. Aiden wouldn’t cheat. He would never …
His car drove past us and turned into the driveway. I swallowed hard and set my drink in the center console as I leaned forward. My heart rate was through the roof. I couldn’t tell if anyone was with him.
Aiden sat in his car for a long time. His outline was visible through the back window. What was he doing? Was she with him? Good golly! I was going to have a heart attack.
His door opened. I held my breath as I watched his long body climb out. He looked nervous, darting his eyes around the neighborhood. I almost didn’t recognize him. He was still in his track pants, but he had a baseball hat on, pulled low. A disguise?
“Is Chloe with him?” Christian asked. He was staring at me and not out the window.
“I don’t know yet.”
I put my hands on the dashboard and tried to steady myself. I was shaking so badly with adrenaline, I felt like I could lift a car or do some other superhuman thing like that.
Aiden turned back to his Jetta and walked around to the passenger door. I gasped. She was with him, wasn’t she? I whimpered.
He opened the door. Aiden reached his hand in, and Chloe took it as he pulled her out. She stood up, clad in a cute, yellow sundress, and immediately wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning into him. I moaned.
“There it is,” Christian whispered.
No. Not Aiden. Not him.
I began to cry but didn’t look away. I felt Christian’s fingers touch my knee, and they were warm. He shouldn’t have been touching me, but I was too sick to care. My heart hurt.
I stared out the windshield, mumbling to myself, wanting to curl up into a ball. Aiden was looking down at Chloe, his hands at her shoulders, near the thin straps of her dress, while they talked. I wished I had audio. She was all over him, and at least Aiden had the sense to not do anything in his driveway. At least he had that much respect for us.
Then he put his arm around her waist and moved her away from the car so that he could shut the door. What was he doing?
“So sorry,” Christian said next to me, squeezing my knee and moving his hand to rub at the skin just above it. I looked over at him. He turned quickly to me and apologized again. I would have thought his concern for me was sweet if I weren’t having a complete breakdown. I couldn’t even feel his touch.
I focused back in on Aiden. He led Chloe up the stairs to his big front porch as she clutched onto him, his T-shirt balled in her fist. I hated her. I’d never hated anyone in my whole life, but at this moment, I hated her. And if I talked to her, I’d tell her as much.
Aiden turned back, looking over the street guiltily. One hundred percent. One hundred percent of the time, they cheated. I thought that maybe Aiden could be the one exception, but it sure as heck didn’t look that way.
As Aiden walked into his darkly lit house with Chloe and shut the door, I covered my mouth with my hands. He’d brought her inside! He was cheating on me. I was too stunned to move.
I was Mary Rudick. I was just like her when she found out about Kyle. I’d become her. I’d become the meaning behind SOS.
“Tessa?” Christian asked softly, his hand moving dangerously close to the hem of my skirt. But I didn’t tell him to move it. I didn’t care. And I wasn’t going to answer him either. Instead, I just stared at Aiden’s house, hoping he’d come marching outside and walk over to this car and yank me out. He would tell me he loved me and that this was all a big mistake. That nothing happened or was even going to happen.
The light in his upstairs bedroom flicked on, and my heart officially broke.
No.
No.
Not my Aiden. Not him.
I bent over, sobbing violently. This wasn’t real. It was some nightmare, and I was still in Aiden’s room, letting him hold me like he did last night. He wouldn’t hurt me. Never.
Christian’s hand moved off my leg and touched my shoulder. He wasn’t Aiden, but I wished he were. I let Christian pull me into him, and I cried against his shirt. Hard.
I’d lost everything. I reached up and wrapped my hands behind Christian’s neck as I continued to shake. What would I do? What could I possibly do now?
“Don’t cry, Tessa,” Christian whispered into my hair. His voice was soft. I liked it.
“I don’t understand,” I choked out, letting go of him to wipe my face. Christian was holding me tightly, and although I knew I needed to pull away from him, I didn’t. I felt so lonely. So dead.
“He’s an a*shole,” Christian said.
“No,” I mumbled, trying to let the numbness take me over. I didn’t want to cry anymore. I didn’t want to hurt.
Christian slid his hand from my shoulder to hold the back of my neck. It was actually very comforting. I suddenly felt protected.
“Shh …” he said into my hair. His breath was warm on my ear.
It made me feel special, the way he wanted me. I didn’t love him. He wasn’t Aiden. But Christian liked me even without the pep. I sniffled and looked at him.
“I want to go home,” I said, and slowly began to pull away. Only, when I moved back, Christian kept his hand on my neck, tilting my mouth toward his.
His face was slightly blurry as I tried to look back at it, blinking through my tears.
“You said no touching,” I whispered.
“I’ll take care of you.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. While his one hand was on my neck, Christian’s other touched my leg again. I looked at him, ready to tell him to stop, when he leaned forward, pressing his mouth against mine. He held me to him as his tongue slid into my mouth.
He wasn’t mine. And although I wanted to stop, I found myself kissing him back, letting his tongue touch mine. My body was responding despite myself as his hand moved from behind my neck to my shoulder.
He was making out with me, and I was letting him. Why the flip was I letting him?
“I’ve wanted you since that first day in class,” he murmured in between my lips. His hand moved up my leg, but the minute I felt it touch me, touch me in the place where only Aiden had been, I pushed him back, breaking our connection. Wait. What was happening?
Oh. Heck, no! My mind cleared, and I moved to my side of the car and stared at him, pressing myself to the door. My face was on fire, and my breath was coming out in gasps. There was a tingling between my legs, but it wasn’t because I was hot for him. I felt … violated.
My eyes were wide as I watched him lick his lips. Bloody Mary! He’d just totally taken advantage of my distress, and he didn’t care. He didn’t care about me. Only one guy did, and I needed him. I needed Aiden!
Desperately, I grasped the handle of the car door and pushed it open, dashing out. Christian called my name in a loud whisper from the driver’s window, but I was a cheerleader. I knew how to hustle.
I ran across the street and hopped the curb, headed straight for Aiden’s house. I didn’t care if Chloe was in there. I didn’t even care if she was naked. She was leaving. Aiden was mine. He was my Wildcat.
There was the sound of a car door, and I had the feeling that Christian was coming after me. Chances were that Aiden’s front door was locked, so I turned and ran to the side of his house. I got to the lattice and began climbing like mad. My breathing was so heavy, I knew I wouldn’t be able to talk when I saw him. And I knew that I’d be in for something awful when I found them together. But I didn’t care. I needed him. My mother forgave my father, and I could forgive Aiden. He was my only guy.
“Tessa,” Christian whispered up at me as I reached Aiden’s window.
I ignored him and put my hands on the cold glass, sliding open the pane. The lattice wouldn’t support Christian’s weight, so I knew he couldn’t reach me. Trying to steady my breath, I threw my legs inside Aiden’s window, letting the familiar smell of it fall over me. Then I braced myself for what I’d find.
It was Chloe. Alone and lying across his bed. Dressed. She sat up in shock and stared at me.
“What the f*ck are you doing here?” she hissed, looking toward the closed door.
I curled my lip. Not only was she in my boyfriend’s room, she was cussing at me. I snapped.
It took me about one and half seconds to reach her before I grabbed her pale-white arm, yanking her off the bed. Her blond hair whipped around, smacking me in the face as I tossed her to the floor. She glared up at me, her yellow sundress pooled around her hips, displaying her white lace panties. I clenched my jaw. She didn’t belong in here. I wouldn’t let her take my boyfriend.
Chloe jumped up and stepped to me, pushing me hard and making me stumble back a few feet. As I recovered, she wound up and slapped me hard across the face. Ouch. It stung. I’d never been slapped before.
“Snake,” I snarled, reaching out to knot her hair in my fist.
“Bitch,” she screamed, and she elbowed me hard on the chin. I reached up to put my hand over my face, feeling the vibration through my jaw. But the minute I raised my arm, she punched me hard in the stomach. Shoot. She was kicking my tail.
“You!” I yelled, working through the pain and getting a fresh grip on her hair. “Are a seriously bad person and I hate you!” I swung her around, but she kicked me in the shin so hard, I let her go and fell back on the bed. She lunged on top of me.
“He’s mine now,” Chloe spat, putting her hands around my neck to choke me. “He knows you’re with Christian.”
“What?” I tried to say, but, well, she was choking me. Her little revelation gave me a temporary adrenaline rush. I rolled over, taking her with me, and we tumbled off the bed and onto the carpeted floor.
I straddled her and tried to pin her arms down. “I am not with Christian,” I said in her face. She sneered.
“That’s not what my brother will tell him.”
My stomach turned, not liking the ominous tone of her voice, but before I could question her further, she punched me in the jaw, knocking me off of her. I was on my back and she got up, looming above me. I scrambled to my feet and put my hands up defensively as she tried to punch me again.
Aiden’s door flew open. “What the hell?” he said, looking around.
Chloe used the temporary distraction. The lunatic reached out to pick up Aiden’s alarm clock, yanked it from the wall, and threw it at my head. It blasted me in the forehead and for a second, I saw stars. Lots of them.
“Are you nuts?” Aiden yelled at her. I opened my eyes to see him take her by the arm and push her toward his door. “I thought you were too drunk to go home, but instead you’re assaulting my girlfriend?”
Girlfriend? I blinked quickly. My head was hurting. “Aiden?” I called.
He turned around and his mouth dropped. “Oh, baby,” he said, letting go of Chloe and moving toward me. “You’re bleeding, Tess.” He put his palm on my face and looked down at me. He brushed my hair away from my head and I felt relief sweep over me; I also felt wetness run down my cheek. But he was looking at me the way he always had. He loved me. He still loved me.
“What happened?” he asked quietly, glancing with concern between my forehead—which was already swelling, from the feel of it—and my eyes. “Why are you here?”
Chloe laughed. Aiden and I both looked at her. Blue light special! I might have a concussion. Chloe swiped the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand, checking to see if it was bleeding. It wasn’t, but I wished it were.
Her voice cut through me. “She’s spying on you, Aiden,” Chloe said. “Your sweet little Tessa doesn’t trust you. Why should she? She obviously can’t be trusted.”
Aiden shook his head and turned back to me, grabbing a T-shirt off his desk to hold it to my head. I was bleeding. That wasn’t good. But Aiden was taking care of me. I smiled, putting my arms around his waist.
“I’m sorry,” I said to him, gazing up into his green eyes. I felt unsteady, out of sorts. “I love you,” I whispered to him. “And I don’t care what you were doing. I just need you, Aiden. I forgive you.” I wasn’t sure if my speech was slurred because Aiden was staring down at me, looking completely confused.
“What I was doing?”
Chloe laughed again, but neither of us turned to her.
“Tess,” Aiden said. “Chloe called me saying she was stranded at a party and that she needed a ride home. So I picked her up, but she said she was too drunk to go home and that her dad would freak. I told her she could come back here until she felt better.” He stepped back from me and then took my hand to put it on the T-shirt that was against my forehead. He dropped his arm. “Were … were you spying on me?”
If only I weren’t so dizzy, I could explain. But I’d just gotten my tush thoroughly kicked by a nasty little blonde.
“I’m sorry,” I said, reaching out for him. “Christian said—”
“Christian? What the f*ck does he have to do with this?”
I didn’t scold Aiden about his language. I’d like to know what the eff Christian had to do with this too. And his sister.
“She was with him tonight,” Chloe announced, sounding like a spoiled five-year-old.
Why was she still here?
“Go home,” Aiden said to her, without looking back. He was studying my face. And he was being rude to her. I liked it.
“But she was with him, A. Right outside in his car—”
Aiden closed his eyes. “Chloe,” he said in a very controlled voice. “Please get out of my house before I call your father to have him come pick you up.”
Then it occurred to me. I’d been played. Christian and Chloe must have set Aiden up and I took the bait. I’d … let Christian’s tongue in my mouth. I swooned.
Aiden reached out to steady me, completely concerned. He removed the T-shirt and examined my head while he chewed on his lip. I should have trusted him. Nothing was 100 percent. Not even cheating.
Chloe huffed and turned, slamming Aiden’s door on her way out, making a framed picture of us drop off the wall. She was such a disturbed girl. I hoped she sought help. Possibly in another state.
“Does this hurt?” Aiden asked softly, touching my cut.
“No,” I whispered. I could tell he was angry, but I felt better than I had in weeks. There was never a date. It had all been a lie, a plotted-out, evil lie.
“You might need a stitch,” Aiden said, finally meeting my eyes. Yeah. He was definitely mad.
“I’m sorry,” I said again. I wanted to forget it all. Christian, Chloe, spying. I just wanted Aiden.
He clenched his jaw. “Exactly what part are you sorry for, Tess? Spying on me? Believing I’d cheat on you? Hanging out with that a*shole?”
“Aiden.”
He moved back from me. “Don’t.” He tossed the bloody T-shirt on his desk and then pointed at me. “Don’t tell me not to swear. I’m going to beat his ass.” He stalked to the window, looking out into the night. “Did he bring you here?”
I could tell by the way Aiden was searching the street that Christian’s car was probably gone. I wondered if he brought his sister home or if she’d walked. I hoped she walked. She could use some of the exercise endorphins.
“He told me you went to dinner with Chloe and—”
“I didn’t go to any goddamn dinner. And why were you with him in the first place?” Aiden demanded.
This was not the time to tell him the truth about SOS. Not when he was looking so unkindly at me.
“I don’t know,” I answered instead. “But we came here and I saw Chloe hugging you. And I saw you bring her inside and then the light in your bedroom—”
“You thought I was sleeping with her? I’m …” He paused to clench his jaw. “I’m not my father. I would never do anything like that, Tessa.”
“Aiden—”
“How did you even know she called me anyway?”
“Her brother,” I said quietly.
Aiden shook his head, glaring at me. “So you’re just sitting in front of my house with another guy, looking in my window? Are you Nancy Drew?”
“No, but—”
“Do you and your little friend spy on people a lot, Tessa? Is that where you’ve been?”
“Where I’ve been?” I was confused.
He scoffed. “Yeah. You know—the late nights, not answering your phone. The weird looks back and forth with the squad. Have you been…” He paused and took a harsh breath. “Have you been cheating on me, baby?” His face was absolute pain.
“No,” I said emphatically. “Of course not. It’s just that everything has been so different lately, and I was sad. Then I heard some things about you and Chloe and I just lost it. We showed up here, and then when she went in your house, I started freaking out. I was ready to go home, but then Christian grabbed me and started kissing me, but—”
“Hold up,” Aiden said, his eyes narrowed to slits. I froze. This was bad. This was really bad.
I needed to backtrack. “I know, but—”
“He put his hands on you?” Aiden asked calmly. He shouldn’t be calm. That was odd.
“Yeah,” I said, trying to match his subdued tone. “His hands, his lips, his tongue—”
“You let him put his tongue in your mouth?” Aiden was so pale. I walked toward him, but he put his hands up and crossed the room to get away from me. My stomach turned.
“Did you kiss him back, Tessa? Did you f*cking kiss him?” And Aiden’s voice cracked as he stared at me, looking devastated.
Great Scott! One hundred percent. It was true, only Aiden wasn’t the one that needed to be investigated; it was me. I had kissed Christian back, no matter how misguided it was; my tongue was in his mouth too. I wanted to wash it out.
“I did kiss him, but—”
“Tessa,” Aiden yelled, looking at me. “Why would you do that?” He put both of his hands on his head. “What the hell? Why would you let him do that? Oh my God!”
He searched the room with his eyes, then turned his back on me, resting his hands against the wall and leaning into it. He dropped his head as small whimpers escaped from him. My entire body ached, and not just from where Chloe had hit me. Aiden was crying, his shoulders shaking violently. And it was my fault.
“Aiden,” I called softly.
“What have you done?” he whispered without picking up his head. “Don’t you love me?”
Good gravy! Of course I loved him. I walked up and hugged him from behind, resting my face on his back. “I do love you, Aiden. So much. And I was devastated when SOS got the message about you and Chloe—”
“SOS?” he asked, and sniffled. He straightened up and turned in my arms before taking me by the shoulders to move me back from him. “What’s SOS?”
Dang it. This was not the time to tell him, but I couldn’t lie anymore. Not after all of this. “It’s sort of a long story.”
His jaw clenched. “As long as the one about you kissing another guy?”
Was there a way back from this? Would Aiden ever forgive me?
“What is SOS?” he asked again slowly.
I swallowed hard. “The Society of Smitten Kittens.”
He waited and then adjusted his stance, letting me know that he was getting impatient.
Time to talk. “We investigate cheaters.”
“Investigate?”
I couldn’t tell if he believed me or not. I bit on the inside of my cheek, meeting his irritated gaze. “You remember the other night, when I asked you about Mary?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, after Kyle cheated on her, she started up a sort of club. When a girl thinks her boyfriend is cheating, she’ll text us. We … sneak around and find out for them.”
Aiden licked his bottom lip, staring at me. “If anyone else was telling me this, I’d say they were full of it. But it’s you. And I don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, but I don’t like it. You spy on people?” He sounded disappointed.
I ducked my head. “Yeah.”
“Then what?”
“We tell the girls, Leona gives them a cheater incident report, and we let them decide what to do.”
Aiden shook his head. It was a lot to take in. I could understand that. “And … you’ve been doing this to me?”
“No,” I said, reaching for him again. He let me put my hands around his waist, but he made no move to touch me. “It was just tonight. Someone texted me and said that you were seeing Chloe. I—”
“And it never occurred to you that it could be that a*shole? Or his sister? Or just someone messing with you? You just believed it. Wow, Tessa. Wow.” Aiden looked up at his ceiling, blinking away tears. I put my head on his chest, wishing he would just wrap his arms around me like he used to.
“I didn’t want to believe it,” I whispered. “Things between us had just been so different lately. I thought—”
“Because of you,” Aiden said loudly. “You’re always busy, Tessa. Distant. I didn’t know what was going on. I was trying to give you space, but I didn’t think you’d hook up with another guy.”
I closed my eyes. I had thoroughly effed up.
“And this SOS bullshit. I can’t even begin to understand the number of ways it’s wrong. My God. Did you break into people’s houses?”
“Occasionally.”
“How long have you been doing this?”
Uh-oh. “Two years.”
His body stiffened. “Two years? You’ve … you’ve been sneaking around for two years? Our entire relationship?” His voice was controlled, but I knew he wanted to yell. His body had begun to shake. I, on the other hand, was on the verge of getting sick. My head was seriously wounded.
“Yeah,” I mumbled. I wanted this to be over. I wanted the healing to begin. Starting with my forehead.
Aiden gasped. “Wait. Did you have something to do with Caleb and his girlfriend breaking up?”
I didn’t move. Yes, I did have something to do with it, but I mean, he was cheating on his girlfriend. He wasn’t an innocent victim or anything.
“Answer me,” Aiden said, and he took me by the upper arms and moved my body off of his. He didn’t want me touching him.
I nodded. His face was a mixture of pain and anger, and he brought his hands to his face and rubbed roughly at it.
“Who are you?” he asked. He looked at me, sad, confused. “Who the f*ck are you?”
His voice was quiet, hurt. Heartbroken. But I was here now. We’d be okay.
“I love you,” I murmured. There was a new aching in my chest. A different one than I’d felt earlier. This one was worse because it was my own fault. I’d made this mess. Me.
Aiden’s eyes softened a little as he looked down at me. He reached his hand out to run his fingers down my cheek, so gently that I nearly cried. But then he brought his thumb and traced it over my lips, slowly. He swallowed hard.
“You let him touch you here,” he whispered. “And now …” His thumb paused in the middle of my lip. “I can never kiss you again.”
Dropped. My stomach dropped as his eyes glassed over, and then he moved his hand and broke from me. He walked across his room, and I tried to breathe. I wasn’t sure I could. I heard his bedroom door creak open.
“Go home, Tessa,” he said to my back.
I couldn’t turn. Please. Let this not be real. Let me wake up. Please.
“Tessa?” And he was pleading. He wanted me to go. This was the warning before he became rude.
Blinking quickly, I turned to look at him. He stared past me, looking at the wall above my head. He wasn’t going to forgive me.
I walked to the door, pausing in front of him, looking up and waiting for him to see me. Finally, his green eyes flicked to mine. They were sad. So very, very sad.
“Goodbye, baby,” he said, letting his voice crack.
My lip quivered and I wanted to grab him. But he put his hand on my back and pushed me gently through the door. He walked me downstairs and left me on his front porch. Aiden didn’t even look at me again before he shut the door, locked it, and left me outside. Alone.
SOS DISCIPLINARY ACTION
FROM: Leona
TO: Kira
You have violated one or more of the SOS rules and are therefore subject to disciplinary action. You are hereby suspended for one mission for violating the rule(s) marked below:° Confirming a cheat with insufficient evidence
° Violating the gag rule
° Reinvestigating a subject (double jeopardy)
° Making personal calls during a mission
° Intervening with a cheat in progress
° Spying on a non-subject
Other:X Hooking up with the subject of investigation!
X Wearing heels while on a mission
SOS
Text: 555-0101
Exposing Cheaters for Over Two Years