The Mighty Storm

Chapter Thirty




Jake is performing better than his last few shows, maybe that’s because I’m here, or maybe it’s because New York was his home for a time. I’m not sure. But because he’s better, the guys are better and the band as a whole is on fire, and the crowd sure are feeling it.
I’m happy for him, for all of them that this tour is going out on a high, and I’m so glad I’m here to see it.
It’s nearly two hours into the show and I know it’s soon coming to an end. Which means it’s almost time for me to go.
A part of me is struggling with the decision. A big part.
Simone and I are standing off stage in the left wing with Stuart so we have clear view of the guys, but all I’m looking at is Jake.
It’s all I’ve done for the whole show. It’s impossible not to.
But he hasn’t once looked, or even glanced in my direction.
Whether that’s a deliberate thing or he’s just so caught up in the show, I’m not sure.
Stuart beside me, puts his hand to his jacket pocket, feeling for his phone. He pulls it out, glances at the screen and taking the call, puts his finger in his ear and disappears off stage.
With Stuart gone, I move closer to Simone, linking my arm through hers, to continue watching the show.
I glance at her face. She’s all bright eyed watching Denny on stage.
I feel a pang of pure envy. I wish Jake and I were still like they are.
A minute later I feel a hand tap me on the shoulder. I turn and see it’s Stuart. He jerks his head to the side, signalling for me to follow him.
I slip my arm from Simone’s and follow him off stage and down the steps.
Stuart leads me down a corridor where it’s quiet. He does a quick look around making sure we’re alone. “I just got a call advising me that the girl, Kaitlyn, will be officially withdrawing her story about Jake.”
“What?!” I’m surprised. No scrap that, I’m stunned.
“She’s admitting she lied about sleeping with Jake.”
“And why would she all of a sudden do that?” I give him a suspicious look.
Stuart shrugs.
My spidey sense kicks in. “Stuart, do you have something to do with this?”
He purses his lips. I can see considering in his eyes, which immediately tells me he did.
“Maybe,” he utters.
I smile at him, shaking my head, relief filling me. Even though I figured Jake was telling the truth, to hear it from Stuart, well from the horse’s mouth, is such a weight off my mind knowing Jake has been telling the truth all along.
“How did you get her to fess up?” I question him.
He grins. “Let’s just say I can be very persuasive when I want to be.”
“Stuart…?” I press.
Letting out a breath, he says, “I went to see Kaitlyn at her home. Jake doesn’t know this, and don’t you tell him either.”
“And she agreed to see you?”
“Well, I turned up on her doorstep under the guise of been a reporter. Once I was in her house I told her who I really was, and there wasn’t much she could do about it then. She wasn’t happy, but I wasn’t going anywhere until she listened to what I had to say. She needed to hear what this was doing to Jake … to both of you.”
My chest starts to feel tight at the memory of this last week. Of Jake being in pain.
“And she listened?”
“Yes. She might be money hungry, Tru, but she’s not a bad person. And that’s what it was all about – money. She’s desperate for cash. The reason … well, she has asked me to keep private, and I can’t break that promise. But that night with Jake, she saw an opportunity and she took it. Knowing what I do, I figure I’d have done the same. So I offered her what she needs in return for her to tell the truth. The deal was that she’d retract her story, publically clearing Jake of any wrong doing. She said she needed time to think it over. I gave her my number and told her if she decided to do the right thing then to call me. That was her on the phone just then. She’s going to issue a statement tomorrow telling the truth.”
“That’s brave of her knowing the shit she’s going to get from the public.”
“It’s surprising what people will do for their children.” I can tell the instant he says it, he knew he shouldn’t have.
My eyebrows go up. “She has a kid? She only looked like a kid herself.”
He sighs in on himself. “She’s twenty. And an old twenty at that. Her kid is sick, really sick. The dad’s not around. She has no family, and she needs money to pay the hospital bills.” He glances around. “I’m telling you this because I know I can trust you.”
I touch his arm. “You can.”
And then it’s suddenly very hard to hate her when I know she was only doing this for her sick kid.
“Is there anything I can do to help her?”
He looks at me surprised. “She’s made your life hell this last week, and you’re asking if you can help her? You will never cease to amaze me, chica.”
I shrug. “My mum and dad raised me to care for others in need, no matter the cost.”
“That’s some good folks you have there. And thinking on that, there’s someone out there who could do with a touch of your caring nature right now.” He tilts his head in the direction of the hidden stage.
“I know,” I sigh.
I want to help Jake, I really do. I want him to feel better, but I can’t help him the way he wants. I can’t live this lifestyle with him.
Swallowing back threatening tears, I say, “I think Jake should know what you’ve done to clear this up for him.”
Stuart shakes his head, no. “Right now Jake needs to believe there is good in people, and him finding out it was me sorting out another mess for him won’t do that. Just leave him to believe she changed her mind and came clean.”
Nodding, I see his reasoning.
“How are you going to pay Kaitlyn though? I’m guessing she’ll need a lot of money … I have some I can give to help.”
He chuckles. “Don’t worry, gorgeous. I might be keeping it from Jake, but it doesn’t mean he’s not paying. He still f*cked up big time with the drugs, and it was because of that he landed himself in this situation. The money’s coming from him. I’m just going to pass it off as a charity donation.”
“Can you do that?” I laugh.
“Sure I can … because technically it is a charity donation.” He winks.
“Well, Jake might not be able to thank you for what you did, but I can.” I wrap my arms around him, kissing his cheek. “I don’t know what Jake would do without you, or me for that matter.” Leaning back I look into his face. “We’ll always be friends right?”
“Of course, chica.” His brow furrows as he lets out a light sigh. “You’re not getting back together with him are you?”
I step back, needing breathing space. Looking to the floor, I shake my head.
Knowing Jake hasn’t cheated doesn’t fix my real concerns about being with him.
“Whatever reason you have, gorgeous, just know Jake loves you – a lot. So whatever it is – whatever the real problem is, talk to him about it, see if you can’t work through it. The way I see it is you guys are meant to be together, and when it’s a love like yours, then there shouldn’t be anything you can work through.”
Looking up, I meet his eyes. “Okay,” I nod. “Come on, let’s go back, catch the last part of the show.”
Stuart stares at me for a long moment, lips pressed together, assessing me.
He knows I’m fobbing him off, but thankfully he leaves it there, and holds his arm out for me to take.
Linking my arm in through his, I walk back with Stuart to the stage.
I know my heart should feel light now knowing the truth, but it doesn’t, if anything it feels heavier.
We get back to the side of the stage, joining Simone, just as the guys are finishing up. I look over at Jake on stage and all I feel is conflicted.
Suddenly the whole place darkens as the song comes to an end.
The encore is about to start in a few minutes. This is when I promised myself I would leave.
I hear movement behind me. Turning, I see a roadie carrying a huge keyboard fixed to a stand, looking impatient for me to move. I nudge Stuart and Simone, and we all back out of his way, letting him pass by.
Denny and Smith come bounding off stage and over to us. They are pumped up, and covered in sweat.
I’m guessing Jake went off stage with Tom to the right wing.
I see Simone beaming at Denny as he talks to her. I wish I was with Jake right now.
No I don’t.
The crowd’s cheering and the guy’s enthusiasm is infectious, as I listen to their quick talk, but my heart is dying a slow death in my chest, because even though I said to Stuart I would stay and talk to Jake, I know I can’t.
If I do, he’ll just talk me round, and I know I’m not cut out for all of this.
The encore is readying to start, and the chants are growing louder and louder. The place is practically vibrating under my feet as the fans demand TMS back onto stage.
The place is insane, electric.
You can literally feel the energy from the crowd, it’s like a physical presence touching my skin.
Denny and Smith are called for and they disappear back on stage to take their places.
Then the spotlight hits illuminating Jake.
He’s sitting on a stool, at the keyboard the roadie just carried on, facing left stage, straight in my direction.
The crowd go insane, clapping and cheering.
Jake never plays the keyboard on stage. He knows how to play, but he’s more of a guitar man. I was always the piano player out of the two of us.
A sudden nervous energy sweeps over me, spreading from my head down to my toes.
Speaking into the mic, Jake addresses the fans. “This tour has been amazing for us in so many ways. It was always going to be a hard one for us, but you guys – our fans, have helped us make it a real tribute for Jonny. So we thank you for that.”
The crowd picks up with cheers again.
“Another amazing thing about this tour,” Jakes says over the cheers, “was that it brought someone back to me who I made the mistake of once letting go many years ago – someone important.”
He looks straight at me in the muted darkness. My whole body trembles under the weight of his stare
His eyes drift down from mine, as he starts speaking again. “She once asked me, if I had to pick one song out of every song ever written to best describe me, which would it be. I said the song I’m about to sing.”
My skin starts to prickle as I remember our conversation that night in bed…

“If you, Jake Wethers, had to pick one song as your title song to describe yourself, what would it be?”
“Hurt.”
“Why?”
“Some people said Reznor was writing a lyrical suicide note, others said he was writing about finding a reason to live. But I think it’s both … it just depends on which side you’re looking at it from.”
“And which side are you looking at it from?”
“Now … a reason to live.”
“Reznor’s version or Johnny Cash’s?”
“Johnny Cash … I have a few things in common with him.”
“Like?”
“The drugs … the women … hanging out for the girl of my dreams … you’re my June, Tru.”

I hear his deep inhalation of breath echo around the stadium before he says, “So tonight, I’m singing this for her, my June.”
That will mean nothing to anyone else, but everything to me.
Jake looks across at me, his fingers hovering the keys. He looks lost, afraid and desperate.
I can’t move. I’m pinioned to the spot.
He closes his eyes, concealing his pain, then presses his fingers down on the keys and begins to play ‘Hurt’.
Leaning his mouth close to the mic, he starts to sing, and I feel a stabbing pain in my chest so hard that I can barely breathe.
Jake’s voice is deep and powerful, and is echoing raw around the stadium.
And I know in this moment what he’s doing.
He’s not playing Cash’s version, he’s playing Rezner’s. He’s telling me he’s back there. He’s telling me he’s lost his reason to live.
Me.
I see it in his eyes when he opens them again, looking straight at me, singing so hauntingly beautiful.
And I can’t help the tears that start to run down my face.
My heart is breaking as we stare at one another. Jake is singing his body dry to me, and for this moment it’s only him and me in this crowded stadium, in the whole world, the entire universe.
I can’t believe he’s baring himself to the world like this.
Exposing us.
This isn’t Jake. He’s private. And I don’t want this. This is exactly what I don’t want.
Then it’s all too much, and I’m moving before I realise. Turning, I push past Stuart and Simone, and run off stage.
I have no idea where I’m going, I just have to get away.
Away from his pain, from my pain. Just far away from this complete agony that he’s inflicting upon me.
I hear my name being called from behind, but I can’t stop.
I’m running past people, god knows how in these heels, tears blurring my vision.
The next thing I know Jake is grabbing hold of me from behind, pulling me around to face him.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he pants, breathless. There are tears in his eyes. Mine are dripping off my chin, down onto my lovely dress.
There are people everywhere, watching us.
“You shouldn’t have done that.” I pull myself free from his hold and step back down a corridor out of everyone’s view.
Jake follows me.
I wipe my face dry with my hands. “You shouldn’t have sung that song.”
“What am I supposed to do? You won’t talk to me. You won’t listen. You’ve just cut me off dry.” His face crumples. “I knew the only way I could get you to finally hear me was through music. And that song, what we talked about that night…” He steps close to me, cupping my cheek with his hand.
I almost break at the feel of his skin on mine after been so long without him, so bereft without him.
“You’re my life, Tru. My everything. And you always will be. I need you to know that, and I need you to believe me when I tell you I didn’t have sex with that girl.”
I swallow past my salty tears. “I know Jake. Stuart just got a call saying the girl is withdrawing her story. She’s admitted it was all a lie.”
“She has?” His words come out in a breath. I see a myriad of emotions pass over his face – shock, but mainly relief. Complete and utter relief. “So you know it’s the truth.”
I gulp down hard against the words I know I have to say.
“Jake, I believed that you’ve been telling the truth for a while now. I didn’t at first … seeing you there with her, it was so horrific...” I wince at the memory. “But I do now. I believed you long before she decided to tell the truth. Hearing her admit it is of course a relief, but it doesn’t change anything. We still can’t be together.”
I watch as a dozen emotions scroll across his face.
“Why not?” he asks hurt.
“Because I’m not cut out for this life with you. I’m not strong enough to handle the stuff that comes with it – with you. Deep down I already knew, but this past week with what happened, and the constant press attention it brought, details of our private life becoming reading material for people has just proven to me what I already knew. I thought I could live with it – live my life so publicly if it meant having you, but … I can’t.”
I leave his stare, casting my eyes down, the pain in his face almost too much to bear. Fresh tears break free down my cheeks.
“I’ll give it all up,” his tone is suddenly fixed, serious.
I’ve only heard him sound like this once before – when he was going to cancel the PR for the tour and come to me in the London.
“I’ll leave it all behind – the band, the label, everything,” he adds resolute.
My eyes flick back up to his. “No, Jake, you can’t do that for me.”
“I can, and I will,” he says steadily. “I’ll give everything up without a second thought if it means being with you. We can move away from everyone just like we talked about that time. You remember on the phone? When we talked about building a house on an island. It doesn’t just have to be a pipe dream, we can really do that. Just me and you. We can have a house built wherever you want, away from all of this.”
“Jake…” I shake my head. “It wouldn’t work because it’s not who you are. This is what you live for – the music, the performing. It’s who you are, and if you gave it up for me, after a time you’d start to resent me.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“Yes you would. And even if by some miracle you didn’t, it still wouldn’t make a difference … because they’re not ready to let you go.” I gesture in the direction of the chanting crowd out beyond in the stadium, the ones calling out his name. “The world, your fans, they love you too. And they’re not ready to let go of Jake Wethers – not yet … maybe not ever.”
His eyebrows pull in. “And I’m not ready to let go of you, and I never will be.”
Briefly closing my eyes, I say, “I’m not enough for you, Jake, that’s why you turned back to the drugs after the news story broke about your dad. I don’t know what is enough for you, but it’s not me. I’m not enough to keep you straight like you once said I was.”
“You can’t honestly believe that? Jesus Christ, Tru!” His tone is so forceful, it yanks my eyes back to him.
His eyes are as fiercely determined as his voice.
“I was just being a weak f*ckin’ idiot! It was about me and him – my demons that I never exorcised, never about you or us. And I promise you I will never go back there again. Losing you because of what I did – because of the drugs, was the single worst thing that has ever happened to me. If I was ever going to need to keep using it was this last week losing you. But I stopped, Tru. I haven’t touched a thing since that night, and I won’t ever again.”
“When I drowned that night in LA, nearly dying like that, I thought it was enough to stop me, but it wasn’t … because I didn’t know the meaning of the word dying until you left me. This last week without you…” He pulls in a sharp breath, briefly closing his eyes. “I’m nothing without you Tru, nothing.”
His words on some fundamental level are reaching me, touching me, because I know exactly how he feels. I’ve felt so lost, so adrift … so dead inside without him.
But how can we be together with all these problems we have sitting between us? I know I can’t deal with the life that accompanies him.
I shake my head. “I just don’t know, Jake.”
“I do.” He tightens his hold on me, clinging to my face desperately with his hand, tangling his fingers into my hair.
My emotions are rising to epic proportions, so I clench my teeth forbidding anymore tears to fall.
“When we’re good, we’re great, Jake. But when we’re bad, we’re f*cking horrendous. From the moment we came back into each other’s lives all we’ve managed to do is hurt one another, badly – and too many times to think of.” I exhale. “I once used to think we were meant to be together, but now … now I’m not so sure. Maybe we just wanted to be together so badly when we were younger that we tried to force it so desperately now. Maybe our time just passed long ago.”
“No,” he shakes his head vehemently. “We’re meant to be.”
He puts his other hand on my face, forcing my eyes to his.
“I’ll never be good enough for you, I know that. But I’m no good without you, and if that makes me a selfish bastard for wanting you as badly as I do then so be it because I can’t live a life that doesn’t have you in it.”
He stares deep into my eyes, breathing deeply. I can feel his hands trembling against my skin.
“Marry me,” he says without hesitation.
Every ounce of air in my lungs whooshes straight out of me, a thousand thoughts scattering across my mind.
Freeing a hand from my face, Jake reaches into his jean pocket and pulls out a ring.
The ring.
I stare at him, my eyes wide.
“I got it before we left Paris.”
It’s the pink diamond ring I was looking at in Tiffany’s the night he bought me the necklace.
“I-I can’t believe you bought it.” I’m gasping for air.
He holds the ring up between us. “I knew I’d be asking you to be my wife from the very second you walked into that hotel room and back into my life. And when I saw your face that night looking at this ring, I just knew – I knew it belonged on your finger, and I’ve been waiting for the right moment ever since to ask you. I know now is not the most romantic, or perfect time to propose.” He glances around at our dim concrete surroundings. “But now is the only time I have before I lose you for good. So I’ll ask you again…” He pulls in a deep breath. “Trudy Bennett, I love you beyond any lyrics I could ever write, or any words I could ever say. I always have, and I always will. Marry me?”
I stare at him, speechless.
My best friend. My lover. My life.
And he is my life. He always has been, even through our years apart.
Jake is all I think of, all I see when I look into my future. And tries as I might to fight being with him for fear of his life, of getting hurt by it, it simply hurts more to be without him. I see that now.
Eventually, I would have followed my heart back to him, because he is my everything.
Jake once said on stage that Jonny was the mighty in their storm, and now I see that Jake is my mighty storm. He’s broken and complex, and no one knows him like I do, or ever will. He needs me.
He’s my storm to calm. And I’m going to spend the rest of my life doing just that.
“Say something, Tru, please, you’re killing me here.” His voice is painted with nerves, his chest rising and falling heavily. “Just say anything but no – don’t say no – just tell me what I need to do for you to say yes and I’ll do it. Because I can’t spend another second without you.”
I reach my hand up and touch his face, smoothing my fingers over his skin, trying to erase his fears, and the lost look in his eyes, the one which only I can see.
Then I smile.
“You don’t need to do anything. Yes, I’ll marry you.”
His face breaks into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen, mirroring my own. Complete adoration in his eyes reserved only for me.
“You will?”
“I will.”
I hold my left hand up to him and halting my breath, I watch as he takes my hand and slides the ring over my knuckle, setting it to rest on my finger.
The diamond is huge against my hand.
Keeping my hand in his, Jake lifts it to his mouth and kisses the ring on my finger. Then I can’t contain my bubbling happiness any longer, and it bursts out of me in full technicolor glory and I’m grabbing his face kissing him hard, smothering him with the absolute pure love I feel for him.
“I love you so much,” he says against my lips. “I’ll never let you down again, baby. I swear. I’ll make you so happy.”
“I know,” I breathe. “I know.”
“Um…?” I hear a voice from behind Jake, and moving my mouth from his, I glance past him to see Tom here grinning at us both.
Jakes turns, taking me with him, unwilling to let me go just yet.
“What?” he says irritably to Tom.
“Well Romeo, we were just wondering if there’s any chance of you making an appearance back on stage at any point tonight? Because there are twenty thousand seriously pissed off fans out there,” he thumbs over his shoulder, “who can’t figure why the f*ck you just bolted off stage like a crazy person mid-way through a song – and apparently my singing just isn’t cutting, so I’m envisaging a f*ckin’ riot any minute if you don’t get your sorry ass back out on stage.”
Laughing at Tom, I slide my hands into Jake’s back pockets. “You better go finish your show.” I smile up at him.
He looks down at me reluctant.
“They paid good money to hear you sing, baby. You owe then that encore. I’ll be here waiting when you’re done. I’m not going anywhere. Remember, I promised. I’m yours now, forever.” I slide my hand out of his pocket, lifting my ring up to him.
“Forever,” he echoes, brushing my hair off my face, he kisses my lips again. “Come on then, let’s go give these people what they paid to see.”
He’s about to move when I ask him, “Are you still going to sing Hurt?”
I don’t want him to. I want him to leave that song behind now. I want us both to start afresh.
Jake rests his hands either side of my neck, touching my face with his thumbs, he tilts his head to the side. I see the flicker of memory and humour in his eyes as he shakes his head, no. “I’m thinking maybe I need a new title song, and I was thinking … I dunno.” He pushes his lip together in thought, his brow creasing. “What about … I Can’t Get No Satisfaction?”
I grin, feeling that familiar pull and heat in my belly, remembering just exactly what we did that night after all our talking was done.
“Hmm.” I scrunch my face up in thought. “Well, I’ll have to see what I can do about that.”
Spying a room which looks very much like a dressing room, I take Jake by the hand and start to lead him toward it.
Turning to Tom, I say, “Tell them he’ll back out on stage in five minutes.”
“Ten,” Jake adds from behind me.
I stop, turning, I meet his grinning eyes.
“Technically the song only lasts just short of four minutes,” I state, smiling.
“Oh, this is the unreleased extended version, Mrs. Wethers.”
“Mrs. Wethers to be,” I correct.
“Technicality,” he grins. “And one that I’ll be rectifying very soon.”
Then he sweeps me up off my feet, and squealing with laughter I let him carry me into the dressing room, closing and locking the door behind us, leaving Tom, and the rest of the world outside to wait.