The Mighty Storm

Chapter Twenty-Four




I let myself in my flat, lugging my heavy suitcase in behind me.
Simone’s at work. She came home a few days before I did. Her work is a little stricter on holidays than mine; I guess that’s the awesome part of having a boss who is also one of my best friends.
I just couldn’t bear to leave Jake, and he wasn’t so keen on letting me go either.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I stare down at his last text; the one I received the moment I was settled in my first class seat on the plane to bring me home:

Just think about it please. I love you so much. I want you in my life, permanently. I want to wake up every day with you beside me.

…

“Don’t go,” Jake whispered, holding my face in his hands.
“I have to. I’ve got work to do at the magazine, and you’ve got promo for the tour to do … and I’m sure you need to go into the office to check up on the label … baby, it’s only for a week and then we’ll be back together,” I added, staring up at his sad eyes.
“It’s one hundred and sixty eight hours without you,” Jake sighed.
“Did you just work that out in your head?”
He nodded.
“Smarty pants.”
“Stop changing the subject.”
I hooked my fingers into his T-shirt. “It’s not a long time and then we’ll be back together.”
I don’t mean that. It feels like it’s going to be forever, especially when he just broke it down into hours like that.
But we’ve been in each other’s pockets far too much recently, and I don’t want Jake to get bored with me. The distance will make him miss me, make him want me more.
Or get lonely and go looking in search of comfort elsewhere.
I quickly shut out that thought, and my stupid irrational side.
The time apart will be good for us.
Jake stared into my eyes, his blue ones caressing my soul, and I could feel myself faltering, weakening to his plea.
No. Be strong, Tru. It’s only a week.
No, it’s one hundred and sixty eight hours…
“I’ll miss you, baby,” I said forcing my strength. “So much, but we both have to work.” I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed his lips.
“Move in with me.”
What?!
“What?” I leant back away from his face, resting down onto my unsteady, heeled feet, searching his expression.
“I’ve spent long enough without you in my life, Tru, and I won’t do it again. Come and live with me in LA. Move in with me.”

I run my finger over the screen on my phone, staring at his message again.

…

“Jake, this is crazy! We can’t move in together!”
“No, what’s crazy is that I’m standing in an airport saying goodbye to you again.”
“This isn’t the same as back then. We’re not fourteen anymore. We’re not going to lose each other. I’m yours and you're mine, and that’s never going to change.” I held my friendship bracelet up to him as proof of this. “I’m just going to work for a little while, and then we’ll be back together when I fly out in a week. You’re only asking me to move in with you as a knee jerk, because of how you feel right now about being away from me.”
He took hold of my arm and kissed my friendship bracelet.
“No, I’m not. I want to live with you because I’m in love with you. I want to share my life with you. Just tell me you’ll at least think about it?”
I closed my eyes briefly. “I’ll think about it.”
His hands moved around my neck, and then he was kissing my deeply.
“You won’t regret it,” he murmured.
“I haven’t said yes, yet.” I lifted my eyebrow at him.
“No. But I’m just hoping on the fact you seem to have a hard time saying no to me.”


Dragging my suitcase through to my bedroom, I dump it down on the floor, then sit on the edge of my bed in the silence for a moment.
The last time I was here I was here with Will. Everything has changed so much since then.
I feel a sudden, unexpected tear trickle from my eye. I hurt Will so badly, and I’m never going to be able to take that back or fix it for him.
It’s hard, feeling happiness to the level I do with Jake, when I know it came at the price of Will’s pain.
It was easier to block it all out when I was still in Paris with Jake, but sitting here now, surrounded by memories of Will and the time we spent together, just makes it all so real. And it hurts that I hurt him so terribly.
I loved Will. I still do. Feelings like that don’t just disappear overnight.
I just wish there was some way to tell him how truly sorry I am.
Never would I change choosing to be with Jake, I just wish I’d had the foresight to do it the right way.
But then is there ever an easy way to break the heart of the person you’re in a relationship with, to leave them for your soul mate.
With a sigh, I start to unpack my suitcase, and set to work on doing my laundry.
I hate washing clothes, but it helps to keep my mind occupied from sad thoughts of Will, and scary thoughts of moving in with Jake, until Simone gets home from work.
She’s late getting in as work was busy, but brings pizza home with her, and we sit in the living room eating and drinking wine.
Simone tells me all about Denny and what’s been happening with them since she got back home form Paris.
By the sounds of things, absence is definitely making the heart grow fonder in their case.
She is totally smitten. And I’m so happy for her.
But it’s making me miss Jake even more, hearing her talk about missing Denny.
I’ve been away from Jake for just over half a day and it’s already hurting like a bitch. So lasting a week just doesn’t feel like a physical possibility at the moment. I feel like I’m missing one of my limbs.
But I’m going to do my very best to hold out for as long as I can, because it’s healthy for us to have time apart.
“So how was it leaving, Jake?” Simone asks, picking her wine up and taking a sip.
“Horrible. Hard. Teary.”
“You’re seeing him in a week though?”
“Yes,” I nod. I take a sip of my own wine, then put my glass down and take a deep breath. “Jake has asked me to move in with him.”
She splutters on her wine. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. He’s asked me to move to LA to live with him.”
“Wow,” she says. “So are you going to?”
“I don’t know,” I shrug. “It’s a lot to think about. I love living here with you. I love working at the magazine. I love Vicky. My folks are here in the UK. I just don’t know.”
“You love him?”
I meet her eyes. “Like no one before. I always have.”
“Then you have your answer,” she says softly.
I drag my hands through my hair, trying to compile a coherent sentence, but nothing’s coming, except for that she’s right.
Adele starts singing on the coffee table. One quick glance at my phone tells me it’s Jake.
I haven’t heard from him all day as he’s been on his flight back to LA. He must have just landed.
“I was gonna go call Denny anyway,” Simone smiles, getting to her feet. “Say hi to Jake for me.”
“Hey, baby,” I murmur, answering.
“Come to LA. Now. Please. I’ll send the jet for you.”
“A simple, ‘I miss you, Tru’, would have done.” I start to chew on my thumbnail.
“I miss you, Tru. Too much. Now will you please come to LA? I’m going nuts here without you.”
“It’s only been what – thirteen hours.”
I’m not going to admit to him I’m going nuts without him too.
“Twelve, and you’re not missing me?” His voice is laced with hurt.
“I am. Like you’ll never know. Worse than I did when we were kids.”
“So why are we even doing this?”
“Because it’s healthy to spend time apart.”
“That’s just Cosmo bullshit. Tru … baby, please, I miss you so much, I can’t even begin to explain. I hate that I’m not with you right now,” he sighs. “Okay, that’s it.” He sounds suddenly alert. “I’m cancelling the PR stuff for the tour. If you won’t come to me then I’m coming to you.”
“You can’t do that!” I exclaim. But I love that he wants to.
“I’m the boss. I can do whatever I want.”
“Jake, the tour, it’s important to you and the guys.”
“Tom and Denny can do the PR rounds, which means I can be with my girl until the tour starts back up.”
“You’re talking crazy,” I giggle.
“The only crazy thing I’ve done was let you go earlier, at the airport. I spent twelve years away from you, Tru. No more. You won’t come to LA then I’m coming to you.”
I trace my fingertip over a groove in the coffee table. “I never said I wouldn’t come to LA.”
There’s silence down the line. I can hear his shallow breathing. “You’ll move in with me?” His voice is soft, tentative.
I take a deep breath. “Yes.”
“Baby, you have no idea how happy you’ve just made me, or how happy I’m going to make you.” I can practically feel his smile down the line.
“Jake, you already make me happy. All I need is you. I have you, I’m the happiest girl in the world.”
“When will you come?”
“Give me this week to sort things out here, and then I’m all yours for good. I just need to figure work stuff out with Vicky. Figure the flat stuff out with Simone, and tell my folks of course.”
“Your dad is going to kick my ass for taking you away from him isn’t he?”
“I’d say it’s quite likely,” I laugh.
“I’ll take his ass-kicking if it means I get you here with me … so I just have to spend this week away from you, then your mine, for good?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I can live with that … just,” he adds.
We spend the next few hours on the phone making plans, talking nonsense like Jake and I do, and I love it.
Eventually I hang up the phone with him, with much reluctance, but I need to sleep as the jetlag finally catches up with me.
I go to bed, thinking about how I’m going to be quitting my job and moving to LA, and also that I’m going to have to find a job once I’m out there. I’m not sponging off Jake. I’ve got some savings so they should tide me over until I can get sorted with a job. I wonder if Vicky has any magazine contacts out there? Jake will have, but I’m not having his influence getting me a job. I want to do this on my own.
And I fall asleep thinking of Jake, and all the amazing things we have to look forward to together.
Life doesn’t get any better than this, as it is right now.


I wake to the sound of Adele singing. It takes me a minute to grasp my bearings.
I’m in my flat. In my own bed.
I squint at the clock – 4am.
Grabbing my phone off my nightstand, I see it’s Jake.
“Baby, I miss you too, but it’s 4 am.”
“Tru.”
I instantly know something is wrong by the broken sound in his voice.
“Jake, what’s wrong?” I sit up in bed, concerned, my stomach tying into a thousand knots.
“Tru, it’s–it’s my dad … he’s dead.”
My heart stops in my chest.
“Paul?” I ask, clarifying he doesn’t mean his step-dad Dale.
“Yes.”
Jake hasn’t seen his dad since he was nine that I know of. And their history … well it’s complicated, difficult, and right now I’m unsure which way he’s going to go with this.
Sadness or relief?
“Baby, I’m so sorry,” I say tentatively.
“It’s fine. I mean, he’s dead, and I hadn’t seen him since … so, you know…”
“I know,” I breathe. “I’ll come to you now. I’m getting the next flight to LA.” I start to climb up out of bed.
“No. It’s fine. I’m fine. I have to come to the UK, for his funeral.”
“You’re going?”
“He was my dad, Tru.” His tone is sharp.
“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean–”
“No, I’m sorry,” he backtracks. “My head’s just a little f*cked up right now.” He sighs. “I just need you, Tru.”
“I wish I was with you. I’m so sorry I’m not.” I chastise myself for this whole time apart thing.
“When are you coming to the UK?” I ask.
“I’ve chartered the jet for a midnight flight. I’ll be there early evening your time.”
“Where is the funeral being held?”
I have no clue where Jake’s dad has been for the last seventeen years.
“Manchester. In two days. I’m arranging it. There’s no one else to do it.”
“Leave it to me. You don’t want to be doing it, baby.”
“It’s okay, I mean Stuart’s helping–“
“I want to help.”
“Okay … um … speak to Stuart see what he needs.”
“I will … so should I meet you in Manchester?”
“No, I’m coming to London first. I need to see you … and the funeral's not ‘til Friday … is it okay if I stay with you at your place? I just–”
“Jake, you don’t even have to ask, I want you here. And the funeral, do you want me to come with you?”
I don’t want to presume he’ll want me there. I don’t want to presume anything at the moment.
“I can’t do it without you.”
“Then I’m there. It’s you and me now, Jake. And what about your mum? Is she coming to the funeral?”
“No.” His tone is curt.
It’s understandable why Susie wouldn’t want to go, but I thought she would to support Jake.
“Okay,” I say, unsure what to say right now.
There’s a pause between us before Jake speaks again.
“I need you, Tru.” I can hear his ragged breathing down the line.
“I’m here. I’m always here for you.”
“I know it’s late there, but will you stay on the phone with me?”
“Of course I will. So what do you want to talk about?”
“You and me. Our future. What we’re going to do together.”
“You mean you want me to talk about that house we’re going to build on an island in the Maldives that belongs just to us, and we’re going to live off the land like a pair of castaways.”
“I love you, Trudy Bennett.”
“And I love you, Jake Wethers.”
“So tell me more about this island?”
And I do. I stay on the phone with Jake until the sun rises, and it’s time for him to catch his flight to London.


I shower, dress, force a little bit of breakfast down, and then head into work taking the Tube.
I’m tired. I’ve had little sleep, but I couldn’t sleep at the moment if I tried, I’m too worried about Jake.
Vicky beams brightly at me when I knock on her open door, then I watch as her face drops when she sees mine.
“What’s the matter, my darling?” she asks worried, getting out of her chair, coming over to me.
“Jake’s dad died.” My voice wobbles and I know I’m set to cry any minute now.
I’m not upset about Paul dying – not at all. I’m upset because Jake is.
I can feel his pain like it’s my own even though there’s an ocean between us.
He hurts. I hurt.
“Oh, sweetness.” She puts her hands on my arms, looking searching into my face. “How is Jake doing?”
I shrug. “He hadn’t seen his dad in a long time. They had a ... difficult relationship … but honestly, I think it’s hit him pretty hard.”
“Come, let’s sit.” She guides me over to the little sofa in her office.
“I’m really sorry to do this to you again, Vicky … but I need to take some time off to be with Jake. He’s flying in today, and the funeral is in Manchester on Friday. Of course I’ll work from home, and I’ll catch up on whatever I miss before I go to the US for the rest of the tour.”
“It’s fine, Tru.” She takes my hand patting it with her other. “Everything is in hand here with your column. The important thing at the moment is Jake, and making sure he’s okay. We can worry about the bio and everything else later.”
I feel the weight lift off my shoulders.
“Have I told you lately how wonderful you are?” I can feel tears forming in my eyes.
“It’s been a while.” She winks at me.
“Well you are, and I love you lots and lots.” I wrap my arms around her, hugging her.
Then the tears start to run from my eyes.
How am I going to cope without her and Simone when I move to LA? And my Mum and Dad for that matter?
I can’t even tell Vicky about the move at the moment. I will soon, but dropping this on her is enough for now, I think.
“Oh, my darling girl, don’t cry,” she says hearing my sniffling, she hugs me tighter.
Thank god I wore waterproof mascara today. Subconsciously, I must have known I would be crying a lot today.
Releasing myself, I get a tissue from my bag, and dry my eyes.
“Sorry,” I mumble.
“Don’t be sorry. You’ve had an emotional time of late, a lot of changes in your life. I’d be worried if you weren’t crying. Now, do you want something to drink?” she asks, getting to her feet, moving toward her desk.
“Coffee?”
“I was thinking something a little stronger.” Her tone is conspiratorial. Then she pulls a bottle of Jim Beam from out of her desk drawer.
“Perfect,” I say, a little smile forming on my lips, as Vicky grabs two cups off her shelf.


I leave work a little over an hour later, having spent that time in Vicky’s office talking and drinking whiskey.
I feel a little lighter after the chat, and a lot lighter after the whiskey, and now I’m more than ready to see Jake.
Eight hours to go.
As I push out of the glass doors of my building, the cool air hits my skin, and the lightness, kindly provided by Jim Beam, unfortunately, starts to lift.
Taking a right, I turn to head toward the Tube station for home.
“Tru?”
Pausing, I turn around to see Will standing about twenty yards away from me.
He’s dressed in blue jeans, a plain white T-shirt, and a black leather jacket. He looks like he hasn’t shaved in a while, and I can see the bruising left from his fight with Jake around his eye. I hate that they fought because of me.
He looks different, but still handsome. Just Will. The Will I loved – love.
I feel a sudden pang for him. The intensity of it surprises me.
“Will? What-what are you doing here?” I try to recover myself from the shock of just seeing him here in the street.
“Sorry I just–” he takes a step forward.
“Have you followed me?” I ask.
That sounded really conceited. I wish I could take it back.
“No,” he answers softly. “I’d just popped into work to drop something off, and I saw you go into your building. I just … I wanted to talk to you, so I hung around and waited.” He pushes his hands deep in his pockets. “I called you … left messages but you never called me back.”
“I’m sorry.” I hug my bag to my side. “I just didn’t think it was a good idea to talk then, you were angry … rightly so and I didn’t want to make things worse for you.”
“How are you?” He takes another step closer.
“I’m okay.” I tuck my hair nervously behind my ear. “How are you?”
“Oh, you know.” He shrugs, and runs his hand through his lovely blonde hair. It looks all mussed up. Very un-Will. It suits him.
His eyes meet with mine.
He looks nervous and sad. My heart is aching seeing him here standing before me looking this way.
This is what I’ve done to him.
“Do you have time to have a coffee?” he asks.
“Um…”
“I mean if you too busy, I understand.”
“I’m not too busy. Of course I’ll have coffee with you.” I smile.
He smiles too. It’s nice to see. I’ve missed his lovely smile.
I’ve missed him. I just didn’t realise how much until now.
“Shall we go to Callo’s?” he asks.
“Yes, lets.”
We walk side by side in relative silence for the five minute walk to Callo’s.
When we arrive, Will holds the door open for me. I walk into the café, the aroma of coffee hitting me straight away, and memories, so many memories.
This was our place. We always had lunch together here.
It’s sad being here with him now, like this, apart. I guess I never thought there would be a day that I would ever be without Will.
As it’s early Callo’s is empty, only Will and I here, so we get a small table by the window and order two lattes.
“Are you not in work today?” I ask, at a vain attempt in small talk, while we wait for our drinks.
“No,” he shakes his head. “I took a little time off after I got back from Paris – you know.”
I bite my lip. I can feel tears forming in my eyes, but I don’t want to cry in front of him. I don’t deserve the right to cry.
I knot my fingers on the table in front of me. Taking a deep breath, I say, “I’m so sorry, Will. For everything. For the pain I’ve caused you”
He meets my eyes, and all I can see in them is hurt. And I can’t help the tear that escapes from my eye.
I quickly catch it falling.
“Tru, that day … when I pushed you away in the hall and you fell … I didn’t hurt you did I?” He sounds tormented.
After everything I have done to him, and he still cares whether he hurt me or not.
It makes my heart hurt more.
Another tear drops. “No, of course you didn’t,” I shake my head.
“I saw the papers,” he utters quietly. “You … and Jake.”
I close my eyes briefly.
“Are you happy?” he asks.
“Yes … and no. I’m not happy for what I’ve done to you. I’m so sorry, Will.” Tears are running freely from my eyes now, and I don’t care who sees.
I can see Will’s eyes shining, but he’s holding himself together.
“I hate myself for what I did to you.” I wipe the dripping tears from my chin with the back of my hand.
“I don’t hate you, Tru. I wanted to, but I can’t … I love you too much.”
I bite my trembling lip.
I never deserved this wonderful man here, before me, in the first place. And I most certainly don’t deserve him now.
He takes a deep breath. “If I said to you that none of it mattered, what happened with Jake – that I still want you irrespective of it all.” He pauses, pressing his lips together, before finishing. “Would you … come back to me?”
I’m so torn in this moment. Being away from Will, it was easy to forget how much I loved him … still love him.
A part of me wants to say yes, a big part, to take his and my pain away.
But I can’t.
Jake is my soul mate. My best friend. And I would always go back to him, every time.
I slowly shake my head. “I love you, Will. Very much. But … I love Jake more. He’s my best friend. I’m so sorry.”
A tear runs from his eye, which he quickly brushes away. “I just don’t know how to live my life without you in it, Tru. Nothing’s making sense right now.”
I want to touch him. Hold him. I want to fix this, but I don’t know how to.
“You deserve better than me.” I blink out more tears. “You always did. You were always too good for me, Will. You deserve someone who would never, ever hurt you.”
“But I want you,” he says. A tear runs down his cheek. He doesn’t wipe this one away.
My lip wobbles again, tears streaming. “And a part of me wants you too, but I belong to Jake. I always have done. I love you very much and I always will, but … I love Jake more.” I rub my runny nose on my sleeve.
At that, the waiter comes over with our lattes. I grab some napkins, quickly drying my tears.
The waiter has the good grace to pretend he doesn’t see me crying.
Once he departs, Will reaches across the table and takes hold of my hand, squeezing it.
I start crying again.
And we sit here like this for a long while, not talking, leaving our lattes to go cold, holding hands, watching the world pass by through the window, just having this time together.
I know this is the last time I’ll see Will, and for now, I just want to hold on to him for as long as I can.
After what seems like forever in only a short time, I reluctantly realise we can’t sit here all day together. Will does too.
He pays for our drinks refusing my offer to pay.
We stand just outside of Callo’s, lingering. I don’t know how to say goodbye to him.
I’m so confused. I don’t want to let him go. But I know I have to.
I thought that telling Will about Jake and I was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, but it’s not. This here, letting him go, is the hardest thing I will ever do.
“Are you taking the Tube home?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to walk you to the station?”
I shake my head, no. “Thank you, but I think I should go alone.”
We need to say goodbye outside of here. Our place.
Will looks up at the sign for Callo’s. “I don’t think I’ll be able to come here again,” he sighs.
“Me either.”
He looks back and meets my eyes. And I can’t help but cry again.
I bite my lip trying to force the tears away, but looking at him here, knowing this is the last time I’m ever going to see him, it’s breaking my heart.
“I’m so sorry.” My lip quivers.
Without another thought, Will wraps his arms around me, enveloping me in a tight hug.
He smells of everything Will. Of warmth, comfort, and safety. Of the last two years of my life. I breathe him in, trying to hold onto it – him for as long as I can.
I know I’m the one doing this, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier.
I never knew it was possible to love two men at the same time.
But I do. I love Will and Jake.
I just love Jake more, and that means I have to let Will go.
“I’ll always love you, Tru,” he whispers into my hair. I hear his voice break. “Jake will never be good enough for you. You deserve so much more than he can ever give.”
Then he releases me, and strides away, shoving his hands deep into his pockets as he walks, and I stand here outside Callo’s watching him go.
Watching the biggest part of the last two years of my life, walking away from me, at my behest.