Chapter Seventeen
The show is insanely good.
Jake, Denny and Tom are on top form – Jake most of all. It’s the last show of the European tour and he is making sure they finish on a high.
I haven’t seen Jake since this morning. He’s avoiding me for obvious reasons.
I know it’s hurting him Will being here, and I hate it. I can’t stand the thought of Jake being in pain in general, but when it’s because of me it’s a thousand times worse.
I wish I could make it better for him. But right now I feel like I’m caught between a rock – Jake – and a hard place – Will.
For a change, I’m out front watching the show with Will and Simone. I thought it would be better than stage side for obvious reasons, and Stuart very kindly sorted me out some fantastic seats for the three of us.
We’re seated close to the stage with a clear view of the guys, and well maybe saying seated is wrong because Simone and I haven’t sat down since the show started.
It’s hard not to fall into the pull of the show, because Jake and the guys are on fire.
I’m just glad I wore my floral print cami top and blue denim skirt as it’s crazy hot in here tonight.
And I don’t think the heat is helping with my wrecking ball nerves, but then I’ve been this way all day.
I’m trying to keep thoughts of what happened this morning out of my head and to focus on Will, but it’s difficult, especially here now looking at Jake, looking so beautiful up on the stage.
Jake finishes up singing one of the new hits, ‘Pure Thing’ and slows things down to an easy stop.
The stage darkens. The lights killed.
There’s some whistles from the audience, but it’s so silent that you could hear the beating heart of a mouse.
I find myself holding my breath along with everyone else.
Then the spotlight hits Jake.
He looks like a God up there. So beautiful with the world at his feet.
Eighty thousand people and not a single sound to be heard. The stadium waiting, breath baited, to hear what will come out of Jake’s mouth.
A man with the adoration of the world at his feet, and in this moment I can’t exactly figure why he wants me.
Jake steps back from the mike and pulls his cigarettes from out of his back pocket, puts one between his lips, and lights it up.
Blowing the smoke from his mouth, he reaches down and grabs his bottle of beer from the side of his mike stand, taking a long swig from the bottle.
Garnering cheers from the crowd, encouraging him to down the bottle, even Tom is egging him on, so Jake being Jake downs the bottle and tosses it to the ground in front of the stage, as the crowd cheers.
I can tell he’s already been drinking a lot, that’s apparent enough.
He takes another drag of his cigarette and steps up to the mike.
The whole stadium is silent, once again, in anticipation of what Jake will say next.
He exhales his smoke as he leans into the mike, and starts to speak, “Okay,” he runs his hand through his hair, looking contemplative. “I know the guys are going to kill me for this … but I’m thinking of maybe mixing things up a bit, doing something a little different.” Jake leans back from his mike, looking at Tom with a question on his face, covering his mike with his smoking hand.
Tom wanders over to him, bass in hand. Jake says something in his ear. Tom looks up surprised, then nods once, at Jake.
Tom heads back to Denny, climbing up, leaning over the drum kit, he says something to him. I see Denny look over at Jake, a puzzled look on his face. Jake lifts his shoulders, grinning.
The room is abuzz, the crowd wondering just what’s going on.
Tom jumps down from the kit and goes over and speaks to Smith.
Smith looks across at Jake and gives him a quick nod.
Tom walks back past Jake, putting his hand on his shoulder, he speaks briefly in his ear. I see Jake laugh, as Tom walks away.
Jake looks back out at the crowd. “Okay folks, sorry about that.” His beautiful voice echoes around the stadium. “We’re going for a song change, but one I think you guys will dig. We’re doing something a little different – it’s not one of ours. This song was out around the time that we were breaking into the music scene, and these were guys we admired – still do. It’s a personal favourite of mine.”
He takes another drag of cigarette.
“So all you ladies out there … no, actually guys too, how many of you have had your heart broken?”
Every hand in the whole place goes up.
“I’ve had my heart broken too, believe it or not, quite recently in fact,” he says.
Oh God.
“I’ll mend it for you, Jake!” cries a female voice from the audience.
Jake chuckles into the mike. “I might have to take you up on that, honey.”
“Say when and where, and I’ll be there baby!” yells the woman.
Then a collection of female voices all start screaming, vying for Jake’s attention.
My throat is starting to get tight. I’m nervous and on edge, to know where he’s going with this. I know he can be unpredictable at times, especially when he’s been drinking.
“Okay,” he lifts his hand quietening the crowd. “So tell me out of all those broken hearts, how many of them was because your guy or girl cheated on you?”
Holy shit.
Some of the hands go down.
“Bad shit, huh?” he says into the mike.
“Okay…” He takes another drag of his cigarette and drops it to the floor, putting it out with his boot. “How many of these hands up, have ever in their time, been … a cheater too?”
My heart drops through the floor. I can’t believe he’s doing this in front of eighty thousand people.
A huge majority of the hands go down. I bind my together in front of me.
I sneak a glance at Will, but he’s watching the show.
I can’t even look at Simone. I haven’t really had chance to talk to her about Jake. I gave her a brief overview while Will was in the toilet, but catching Jake in the bathroom attached to my bedroom, told her all she needed to know.
She’s not judging, and I love her for that, but she did say I need to make a decision. And she’s right, I do.
I’m just not fully sure on which decision to make.
“Okay, well this song is for all of you who have been cheated on,” Jake continues. “And also for the ones they cheated with. The ones of you who were used and abused, filled with a shit load of promises, then left hanging dry. This one is for you guys...”
Denny hits the cymbals twice, Smith kicks in with the guitar, and Jake leans into the mike and starts to sing.
My whole body freezes cold, as he lullaby’s the lyrics to The Killers, ‘Mr Brightside’.
Holy f*ck.
So he’s not only just talked about adultery in front of eighty thousand people, he’s now singing about it.
Singing about a guy who believes his girlfriend is having an affair.
He’s trying to tell Will. He’s trying to get Will thinking.
And in this moment, I’m filled with absolute anger toward Jake.
Then, as if reading my thoughts, he tilts his head to the side, staring straight in my direction, I didn’t realise he even knew where I was sitting.
I thought I at least had some anonymity.
Apparently not.
Now I’m standing here, open wide to whatever he chooses to throw at me. And I can’t move, I’m paralysed, as he openly sings in my direction.
Anger burns through me, turning to rage and fear.
He’s no right to do this. It’s up to me to tell Will, in my own time. It’s just cruel playing shitty games like this.
I’m just praying on the fact that Will doesn’t get music like we do. He doesn’t read the messages in lyrics.
I want to look at Will, I need to know if he’s seeing this or I’m right, like I’m praying and he doesn’t.
But I can’t move because I’m trapped in Jake’s stare. Like a rabbit in the headlights of a very beautiful truck, careening its way toward me.
I’m so very afraid at the game he’s playing, and I get a distinct feeling this is just the start of tonight’s games.
And when Jake does finally release me from his gaze, singing back to his adoring fans, I steal a glance at Will, and find he’s just watching the stage, completely oblivious as to what has just transpired up there.
Then I feel Simone’s hand take hold of mine.
I turn my head to look at her. She gives me a sad smile, then rests her head against my shoulder, as the song finally comes to an end. Jake finishing my first torture of the night
And I keep hold of her hand for the rest of the show.
After the show, I head straight to the after show party with Will and Simone. Ben had kindly offered to drive us, so we ride through the streets of Paris in his safe hands. He drops up off out front, with the offer to pick us up later, but I wave his kind gesture off and tell him to get back to the hotel and chill out for the night.
Showing my pass to the security we’re waved in.
We quickly grab a table, and I ensure it’s one with a good view of the door, so I can see when Jake arrives.
Will goes to the bar to get us some drinks. The party is buzzing already. But all I can think about is Jake. When is he going to get here? And what kind of mood will he be in when he does arrive?
“So the show was great,” Simone enthuses. “A little crazy in parts.” She raises her eyebrow and I know exactly what she’s getting at.
“No kidding,” I mutter.
“Is Jake always that … intense?”
“Not generally, but with me, recently … yes.”
“God, when he started talking about all the cheating stuff, then he started singing Mr Brightside, I nearly died for you.”
“I think I did die.” I give her a weak smile.
“He’s definitely got it bad for you, sweetie.”
“I don’t know about that.” I lift my shoulders. “I think maybe it’s just because currently, I’m the one thing he can’t have.”
She shakes her head. “No, it’s more than that. He wouldn’t put himself out there on the line like that if it was just for a conquest. I’m pretty sure there are others things out there for Jake to conquest if he wanted.”
Yeah, and mostly that’s what I’m worried about.
I see movement in the door, distracting me.
Denny walks in with Stuart. But no sign of Jake or Tom.
Where is he? Wouldn’t they come together? They usually do, but then I’ve been with them on those occasions.
Odd though because Stuart is always with Jake. I wonder why he’s sent him on with Denny?
People stop Denny, congratulating him on the show. Stuart spies me and comes over to our table.
“Hello my gorgeous chica” He kisses me on the cheek. “Oh, and another gorgeous.” He kisses Simone. She flushes scarlet.
“Are all you Brit chicks gorgeous, or just the ones Tru knows?”
“All British girls are hot – especially the half-Puerto Rican and foxy blonde ones.” I grin at him.
“Well, if the men are anything near as good looking as your hot boyfriend then I’m flying over now,” he says to us, grinning, setting both Simone and I laughing.
Even though I’m laughing, all I want to do is ask Stuart where Jake is. But I can’t. It might look to obvious.
Denny finally makes it to our table, and drops down into the seat next to Simone. I see her instantly tense up.
“Hey, Tru,” he smiles.
“Denny this is my best friend and roommate, Simone,” I introduce.
“Great to meet you,” Denny turns, looking at Simone for the first time, and I see his eyes widen the instant he looks at her.
I’m not surprised, she is absolutely gorgeous.
I see her eyes are already lit up like a Christmas tree over Denny. You’d have to be blind not to notice the obvious, instant attraction.
Oh, I have a good feeling about this
I smile to myself as Denny starts to talk to Simone; happy that at least out of the two of us, one of us is currently happy.
Will comes back with our drinks. A margarita for me. He knows me so well.
I take a sip, the fresh alcohol kick is perfect. My drinks from the gig were starting to wear off.
“Sorry guys, I didn’t realise you were here otherwise I’d have got you some drinks in,” Will says to Stuart and Denny.
“Hey, no problem, man,” Denny says, waving him off.
“Oh, Denny, this is my boyfriend, Will.”
I don’t know why but it suddenly feels odd referring to Will as my boyfriend to Denny.
“Nice to meet you, man.” Denny shakes Will’s hand.
“You too,” Will says, politely. “Great show.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll go to the bar,” Stuart starts to get to his feet, but Denny gets up. “Sit down, man, I’ll get these – beer?” he asks Stuart.
“Beer’s good,” Stuart replies, sitting back down.
Denny heads over to the bar, and Stuart starts talking to Will about the show.
I lean across the table to Simone. “So Denny…” I raise my eyebrows at her.
She flushes red. It’s so cute to see. I haven’t seen her like this about a guy for a long while.
“He’s even better looking in the flesh,” she whispers, shyly.
“He is,” I agree. “And he’s a really great guy. He was in a long term relationship, but they broke up about a year ago and he’s been single ever since.”
“So basically he’s not a womaniser like the other two?”
It’s my turn to flush. “Um … yes.”
She grimaces. “Sorry that sounded–”
I flash my eyes in Will’ direction, cutting her off.
She presses her lips together, apologising with her eyes.
I sit back in my chair and give her a light, forgiving smile. But it feels heavy on my face and I can’t hold it for long.
Denny comes back with his and Stuart’s drinks, taking Simone’s attention again. And I glad because I just can’t seem to muster up any conversation with anyone. My mind is far too busy working overtime, wondering where Jake is, what he’s up too and who with.
If he was with Denny I wouldn’t be worried. But he’s with Tom, and Tom’s … well, he’s exactly the same as Jake, when it comes to women. A complete slag.
And the fact that Denny is here without them, meaning he left them to whatever they were doing so he could come to the party, as he isn’t into the whole shagging thousands of women thing, isn’t looking good right now.
What if Jake is with some groupie who managed to scam her way backstage? Or even worse … with some gorgeous French model or actress who was a VIP at the show.
Jake’s blatantly angry with me because Will is here, so maybe he’s decided to forget all about me with the help of someone else.
I start to feel sick, so I pick my margarita up and get chugging on it, trying to kill all thoughts of Jake.
We’ve been here an hour, the drink is not soothing me and I’m getting ansty, because Jake and Tom are still no shows.
Simone and Denny are getting on a treat which is awesome. I’ve picked up my conversational skills with Will and Stuart some, but not by much, I’m more pretending to listen than actually listening.
My eyes are surreptitiously trained on the door, and person after person, I’m met with disappointment that it’s not Jake walking through those doors.
I don’t even know if he’ll even speak to me when he does arrive. Or maybe he won’t come because I’m here with Will.
No, it’s the aftershow party for the final leg of the European tour, a big deal and there are a lot of important people here. Jake’s a businessman as well as a musician, he’ll show.
I’m getting the urge to want to call him. I keep considering it over and over in my mind whether or not to go to the bathroom and call him.
I’m on my second margarita, and trying to pace myself for the night, as I feel it will more than likely be a long one. And counting the drinks I had at the show, I’m three glasses of wine and two margaritas in already.
Denny has gone to the bar, Simone accompanying under the pretence of helping him carry the drinks back. She just wanted to get him alone, and I can’t say I blame her.
Stuart and Will are talking cars now, so I open up my handbag on the table and check my phone for the tenth time to see if Jake has called or text me, but there’s nothing but a blank screen staring back at me.
I’m turning into a crazy person over him. Is he doing this to me on purpose? Knowing him, yes, quite probably.
But I have to know whether he’s coming tonight or not.
I decide to go to the bathroom to call him, and I’m just about to get up from my seat, when I hear the noise that always accompanies Jake, as he comes into the party with Tom. Dave and Ben are obviously with them, and there’s a group of people I don’t recognise also.
Rapturous applause breaks out, the masses encroaching on Jake. And in this moment I feel incredibly proud of him as all eyes in the room are focussed solely on him.
I’m so relieved to see him that I think the huge smile on my face might split my cheeks in half.
But my relief doesn’t last long, and I see as the crowd shifts, standing beside Jake, is a very beautiful girl, with long thick red hair, a huge cleavage and legs that go on forever, wearing a dress that shows them off to their max. She looks like model.
And Jake is holding her hand.
My gut empties hollow, the smile quickly falling from my face, as it starts to prickle.
And therein I instantly get my answer as to where, and who he’s been with for the last hour.
A thousand thoughts and emotions stream through me.
None of them good.
I feel sick and stupid, dizzy and my heart is physically hurting in my chest.
My legs are itching to take me up from this chair and running for the door and out of here, and far, far away.
But I don’t move. I just sit here, rooted with pain, as I watch Jake with this girl.
I see his eyes scan the room. They lock onto mine. I freeze for a long moment, while his eyes burn me.
I look away. It’s too hard to look at him for another moment longer, as thoughts whip through my mind as to what he’s been doing with her.
I wonder if that is what it’s like for him when I’m with Will.
Maybe that’s why he’s with her, to hurt me. Well, if it is, it’s working, and well.
I’m raw with jealousy. I didn’t know I had it in me to feel it to this level.
With my trembling hand, I finger the steam of my glass, picking it up I tip my head back, letting the margarita run down my throat.
As I move my eyes downwards, resting my glass back on the table, I’m met with Jake. He’s standing at our table, directly in front of me, his redhead in tow.
He’s not holding her hand anymore, I notice. Even still, it doesn’t make me feel any better.
I just feel angry with him, and jealous. So very jealous.
And for a second, I wish I was sitting next to Will and not Stuart, so I could hurt Jake like he’s hurting me. But then it would be a little strange if I leaned over Stuart to get to Will.
More like obvious, and childish, I’d say.
I force composure on myself.
“Where’s Denny?” Jake asks Stuart.
He’s ignoring me. It hurts.
“The bar.” Stuart points in Denny’s direction.
Seeing Denny with Simone, Jake grins and nods his head in approval.
“Hi, I’m Will,” Will says to Jake, getting to his feet. “Tru’s boyfriend. We haven’t had a chance to meet yet.” Will holds his hand out to Jake.
Jake glances down at his hand like he’s not sure what to do with it.
And for that long second everything seems to hang in the air, precariously balancing.
Then Jake takes his hand and shakes it. “Good to finally meet you. Tru’s told me a lot about you.”
Jake casts a glance in my direction. It tears right through me.
“All good I hope?”
“Of course,” Jake lightly shrugs his shoulders, taking his hand back.
I let the breath out I was holding.
“The show was amazing,” Will continues, sitting back down. “And I thought your version of Mr Brightside was bloody brilliant – better than the original.”
I nearly crack into pieces on the spot.
Jake’s eyes flicker in my direction again, and he smirks. “Thanks.”
“Jake, are we getting a drink?” Redhead pulls on his arm. Her voice is sweet, laced with a heavy French accent, and she pronounces Jake – Zzhake, rolling his name around her tongue.
It sounds as sexy as she looks. I hate her.
Why do the French always sound sexy? So much sexier than my Spanish accent, the one that turns Jake on.
Fine, he wants to play games, well I’m up for that.
“Yeah, in a minute,” Jake answers her sounding irritated.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us to your new friend, Jake?” Stuart asks.
Jake narrows a gaze at Stuart, who seems unfazed by the darts he’s shooting him down with.
I don’t think I want to know her name. It somehow makes her even more real if she has a name.
Jake glances back at redhead. “Um … yeah, this is … um.”
She rolls her eyes at him. “I’m Juliette.” She presses her small hand to her large chest.
Zzhuliette.
So not only is she beautiful, she has a beautiful name. Which, Jake either couldn’t remember or hadn’t even bothered to find out.
I don’t even know if that should make me feel better or not.
“Zzhuliette,” I hear myself saying in a really bad French accent.
Jake’s eyes flicker to mine. Zzhuilette stares at me too.
Oh God.
“It’s a really pretty name,” I somehow recover. And I don’t know if it’s the booze or a mild hysteria setting in, but I say, in bad French again, “Zzhake and Zzhuilette. Has quiet a ring to it. Don’t you agree?” I stare at Jake.
He shifts on his feet, looking at me like I’ve just grown another head.
I know Will’s staring at me too, but in this moment I don’t care.
Jake laughs, getting his cool composure back. “What have you been drinking, Tru?”
“Oh, just a few margarita’s.” I stare at him steady, shrugging, forcing the best smile I can muster up. “I’m just feeling happy. Looking on the brightside, you know. Will and Simone are here, it’s all good, I’m happy, happy, happy!”
His eyes harden, burning into mine. “So what did you think of the show, Tru?”
Is he asking my professional opinion or asking me in my current state of anger with him? Honestly, I don’t even know why he is asking. And hearing him say my name, it’s like I’m hearing it for the first time.
How can this be the same man who made love to me all through the night. Told me how much he missed me for the years we’d been apart. The man who pleaded with me to never leave him.
“Trooo?” Zzhuilette looks at me puzzled, with bitch in her eyes. “You’re name is Trooo?”
I’ve never wanted to slap someone as much as I do her now.
Take my guy – fine. Don’t dis my name. Even though I just did yours a few moments ago – kind of.
“Trudy,” I explain. “My friends call me Tru for short.” I emphasise the ‘u’.
“Ahh, I zee.” She runs her fingernails through her hair seemingly bored now.
Obviously she has the attention span of a gnat.
Ugh, I’m turning into one of those bitchy women. Good.
I pick my margarita up and take a mouthful for courage.
“And to answer your question, Jake,” I start to speak in my Spanish accent, because I know how much it affects him, and I want to be a bitch.
Jake’s eyes widen and fire, and I know I’m playing a dangerous game. I dare not even look at Will.
“In my professional opinion the show was brilliant, one of your best to date.” I smile sweetly up at him, desperately trying to hold the pieces of me together.
His flaming eyes soften, slightly. I see him shift uncomfortably in his pants.
He’s squirming.
Good.
Or maybe I’ve just turned him on and am about to send him off with his redheaded groupie.
Smart, Tru, real smart.
“Glad you think so. Plenty for the bio?” he asks.
Work. He really wants to talk work with me. Fine.
“Yes, plenty of stuff.”
Barring the, ‘I’m having an affair with you’ part of the show, which you are now clearly past, as you have a shiny new French toy to play with.
I bite my lip, until it hurts.
Tom comes swaggering over, a couple of girls in tow.
“Where the f*ck is Denny? Are we getting this party started or what?” he says loudly, clearly already drunk, slapping Jake on the back.
“Yeah, I’m coming now,” Jake answers him, without moving his eyes from mine.
Jake casts his eyes around the table, landing back on me lastly, and says, “Have a good night.”
Then he’s walking away, over to the bar, with his long-legged French redheaded beauty, Zzhuilette.
Leaving little ordinary English, Trudy, to watch him from the side-line, like everyone else in this room.
The Mighty Storm
Samantha Towle's books
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