Chapter Seventeen
Slade
Two weeks later . . .
It’s been two weeks since Aspen left and I still feel like the biggest ass for not fighting harder for her to stay. The one thing that made my life worth a shit I let slip through my fingers. I couldn’t even face her. Instead, I left. I couldn’t stand to stick around while she packed her shit to leave. I f*cking left and rode for hours just thinking back on my life and all the f*cked up things I have done over the past couple of years. It took her for me to realize that I’m not proud of what I’ve become; not one f*cking bit. In the end I may not have her, but she has helped me in more ways than she knows and I will always be thankful for that.
I owe her a lot for finally waking me up and I still think about taking my ass to Rockford and showing her how much I have changed, but I know it would be pointless. She made up her mind. I don’t blame her for not wanting to give her heart to an a*shole like me. I meant what I said when I told her she deserves better than me. We both knew that. That’s why she left. She did what she had to do to protect her heart. She could probably see that things would turn out disastrous. She chose to stay far away from me; choosing to walk away when I couldn’t.
It’s a Friday night at Walk of Shame and I’m working the bar with Sarah. Hemy and Cale are working on training some new kid, Stone, or some shit. The kid looks like he’s having a f*cking blast; probably fresh out of school and dying to get his unexperienced cock wet. He’s like the old version of me: dark, dirty and out for a good f*ck. Well, this kid is in for the ride of his life here.
“You okay, Slade?”
I lean against the bar next to Sarah and nudge her with my shoulder. “Don’t I look it,” I ask teasingly. “You’ve been asking me that practically every f*cking day. You’re starting to sound like a damn broken record.”
She lets out a little laugh and squeezes my arm. “It’s f*cking weird,” she says.
“What?”
“Not having you out there. How am I supposed to get used to this shit? You not taking down every woman in your path or slamming back shots and getting naked. It’s a big f*cking change. Are you sure you’re okay? Have you talked to-”
“Don’t even bring her up, Sarah.” I take a deep breath and slowly exhale. “I’m cool, okay. It’s just going to take a little while to get used to the changes. You can’t expect me to do this forever. I just need a change of scenery.”
She nods as I walk away to help a young woman waving me over with a flirtatious smile. She’s beautiful; long brown hair, big blue eyes and a body you just want to taste and f*ck. You would think she would be enough to tempt me back into my old ways, but no. Surprisingly, she does nothing for me. I’m not sure how the f*ck to feel about that. All I know . . . is that I’m feeling for the first time in years. It’s a scary feeling, but I think I’m going to go along for the ride; I have to.
“What can I get you,” I ask while leaning over the bar.
The brunette looks at me long and hard while eyeing me up and down. She almost looks as if she’s ready to strip down right here and jump my shit. She’s desperate and it’s actually turning me off. I kind of liked having to work for it.
“Whatever you’re willing to give.” She smiles before leaning in and running her tongue over her lips. “You’re Slade, right? I’ve heard a lot of things about you.”
I stand here slightly amused, watching as she tries desperately to make herself seem willing and available.
“I’ve had a rough couple days and am looking for someone to take my mind off things. I’ve heard you’re the man to do the job.” Her eyes rake over my body as she tugs on the top of her dress, exposing more of her firm breasts to me. “I’ve heard you’re the best.”
Clearing my throat, I turn my head and point across the room to Hemy. I wait for her eyes to follow. “I’m good . . . but go take your offer to my buddy over there. He’ll be sure to f*ck you nice and thoroughly. He’ll even throw in a friend to take you up the ass while he’s deep inside you, making you scream.” She looks curious and a little excited. “If you’re looking for a night to remember then Hemy will give you just that. He f*cks like a rock star and he’s dirty as shit. He’ll give you anything you want. He holds nothing back in the sack.”
The brunette looks me up and down before fixing the top of her dress and nodding her head. “He’ll do just fine. It’s a shame you’re not up for the task, though. I had my tastes set on something. . .specific.”
“It is a f*cking shame.” I pour her a shot of Vodka and slide it across the bar. “You’re a little too late, but the shot’s on me, sweetheart.”
I walk away and take a deep breath; a little pissed at myself for not even being the slightest bit turned on by her offer. A couple weeks ago, I would have taken her right here in front of Sarah and then let Sarah suck her taste off my cock.
Damn. This girl really did something to me.
Sarah rushes over to me and shoves my shoulder before slapping me with a towel. “Are you serious? I would have even f*cked that one. Are you sure you’re not sick?”
“Sarah. Leave his ass alone.”
I look up to see Cale step behind the bar, wiping down his sweaty chest with his shirt.
“How’s the new kid doing?”
Cale smirks while grabbing for a bottle of water. “I’m almost positive you two f*ckers are related.” He opens the water and pours some over his face. “Are you sure Stone isn’t your long lost f*cking brother? He’s a slightly smaller version of you, but with shorter hair and less tattoos. It’s a little f*cking scary. It’s a lot like what you looked like when you were a suit.”
“Good. Then he can make up for your slack like I did.”
Cale punches my arm before pouring the rest of the water over his head. “She’s still eating at you, isn’t she?”
I ignore his question. “Have you heard from her yet?”
He shakes his head. “Nah, man. I haven’t heard shit.”
To be honest, I’m still a little pissed off at Cale for not telling me Aspen had a boyfriend the whole time. That a*shole knew we were f*cking and he couldn’t even warn me? What happened to the bro code? I find that a little f*cked up and he knows that.
“Dude, stop looking at me like that. I told you it wasn’t my place to say shit. They were sort of on a break and plus you usually only f*ck them one time and move on. I didn’t know you would fall for her.”
My jaw clenches from his words. I don’t like hearing that shit out loud. Even though she’s been on my mind constantly since she left, it really pisses me off that she has this effect on me. “Yeah, well neither did I.”
“Sorry, man.” Cale slaps my shoulder and starts backing away. “I’m sure she’ll come back as soon as that a*shole hurts her again.”
The thought of that a*shole even touching her makes me want to rip his f*cking throat out. The thought of him hurting her, makes me want to kill him. She deserves to be treated like a f*cking queen. She deserves to know that she’s wanted. That’s why I didn’t fight harder for her to stay. I was afraid I would never be able to give her that.
Seeing the person that I’ve become, I have begun to believe that maybe I could have been what she needs after all. Maybe a part of me knew and I was afraid I would fall too far and then f*ck up and she would leave me. If she were here now, I know I would do everything in my power to make her mine. She makes me want to be a better man; makes me want to be the old me.
Once upon a time I actually cared about my image and the way I looked from another’s perspective. I would have never been caught dead working in a place like this, f*cking every hot female with a wet p-ssy waiting between her legs and drinking myself into my grave. I actually wanted to love and to be loved. I had it before but lost it and myself, but she makes me long to be that person again. She made me realize that sometimes you have to peel back the layers to discover who someone really is. Otherwise, you may miss a remarkable person.
* * *
It’s almost closing time and the only ones left in the bar besides me, Cale and Sarah is a small group of females that can’t keep their eyes off me or Cale. I recognize one of the girls, because I f*cked her in the back a couple months ago. Her eyes haven’t left me once since the crowd died down. It’s starting to get a little on the creepy side.
“Dude, that chick is all up on your shit hardcore.” Cale leans over the bar and starts wiping it down. “Are you sure you’re not down? We can make a great f*cking time out of this.”
I look from Cale, over to the tatted up redhead whose eyes are practically f*cking me. I’m definitely not down. I just don’t feel the need. “I’m good. They’re all yours, bro.”
All I want to do is get my ass out of here. It’s been a long ass day and I’m exhausted. The last thing I want to do is deal with some horny ass chick trying to get on my cock.
Just when I think the girls are finally going to get up and leave, I hear the door open and the sound of heels pounding on the marble flooring. The first thing I think is that another girl is joining the group of women that have been waiting impatiently for me and Cale to get off.
“We’re closed,” I say without looking up.”
“I’m sorry. I was hoping to get here sooner.”
My heart stops at the sound of her voice and my breath catches in my throat. I feel every muscle in my body tense as I bring my eyes up to see the woman that has been haunting me for the last few weeks. She’s standing there in a little green dress with those sexy strappy heels that I love on her.
Holy shit, she steals my breath away.
She smiles shyly when her eyes lock with mine. She looks nervous. “I can wait outside,” she says while pointing to the door. “It’s not a big deal.”
I get ready to respond, but Cale jumps up from the ground and hops over the bar to stop her before I can. “Holy shit! What are you doing back?”
Aspen looks at me for a second longer before turning her attention to Cale as he reaches in for a hug and shakes her back and forth. “Did you miss me that much,” she asks out of breath as Cale squeezes her half to death and then releases her.
“You know it.” He takes a step back and I can’t help but to watch them. Everything in me wants to jump over that bar and kiss her, but I’m trying my best to hold back. “So, what the hell are you doing here? Are you staying with us again?”
My heart speeds up just at the thought of her being under the same roof as us; a chance for me to show her that I’ve changed; a chance to let her fall for me.
“No,” she says. “I’m actually here because well . . . I moved here.”
Holy f*cking shit. It’s suddenly hard to breathe.
“I just couldn’t stay with Jay anymore. As soon as we got back home I told him it was over. I started looking around for a new job and packed up all my shit.” She stops to smile at Cale. “I found a job here in a salon and decided I wanted to be back home. I’ve missed it here and there’s nothing left for me back in Rockford. Riley is moving back in a couple months, anyway.”
Cale looks paler than a f*cking ghost, but I ignore his reaction and focus on Aspen. I can’t help the excitement that rushes through me. Every part of me is screaming to f*cking kiss her and make her mine while I can. I can’t hold back. I need to do this. If I don’t, someone else will.
F*ck it!
I jump over the bar, grab her face and slam my lips against hers, tasting her with desperation. The feel of her lips give me a f*cking rush and I know that after this I won’t be able to go on without having her as mine. I need her and I’m going to show her she needs me too.
When we’re both short of breath, she pulls away and her eyes search mine. She looks scared and lost. The feeling makes my chest ache. I don’t want to do that to her.
She just stares, breathing heavily, with her body trembling. Then without a word, she turns and rushes for the door. “Wait. Don’t f*cking run away again.”
I step up behind her and grab her arm right as she’s reaching for the door. She yanks it out of my grip and takes a step back as I take a step forward. It seems to be our little game. “Why? Why should I wait?”
I don’t hesitate to tell her the truth this time and I don’t give a shit that everyone is staring at us as if we’re some kind of f*cking soap opera. This time, I’m not letting her get away; I can’t. “Because I love it when you touch me. It makes me feel as if I’m breathing; makes me feel . . . alive.”
Her breathing picks up as I run my lips over her neck and brush her hair over her shoulder. “You make me want to be a better man. I want to take care of you. I want to make you feel wanted like you deserve.” I stop to kiss her neck before gently tugging her hair to the side. “I may not be perfect all the f*cking time. I’m far from it, but you make me want to be as close to it as I can be. Give me a chance to make you feel good; feel wanted. I want you to be mine. I want to be the one you snuggle with and watch a movie with at night. I want to be the one you stay home with because you don’t like to go out. I don’t like f*cking cats, but I’ll love them because you love them.”
“I don’t know,” she whispers. “I’m scared. I can’t handle being crushed by you. It will only f*cking destroy me, Slade.”
“I am too. Trust me. This feeling is new to me. You’ve done something to me and I can’t stop f*cking thinking about you. You’ve f*cking ruined me. I’m not giving you up so easily.”
Her lips part and it takes everything in me to not press my lips against them again and make her mine. I want her so bad, but I want her to want me just as much. I can’t force her to want me this time. It will never work that way.
“You really can’t stop thinking about me?” I nod my head and run my thumb over her lip. “What about all the other women, Slade? I can’t be with a man like that again. I just can’t.” She looks around the room at the group of women watching us. She looks upset by them and a bit jealous. I don’t like that look on her. “I didn't mean for my presence to distract you from your job. I just wanted to let you know you'd be seeing me around more. I didn’t come looking for this."
I cup her face in my hands and step closer to her to show her I don’t give a f*ck about those women. “I haven’t been with any other women since you. The closest I got to having sex with a woman was before you left and I was still being a horny, heartless dick. I was confused and not ready for change. I won’t lie to you about that. I’ll never lie to you. I haven’t had sex or have even wanted to since you f*cking left me that night. That’s a big f*cking deal for me.”
A tear falls down her cheek, but she tries to hide it before I can see it. She’s too late. I catch her face and rub the tear away with my thumb. She seems a bit surprised and torn. I don’t blame her. I was a major dick and I don’t deserve her trust. “I don’t understand why, Slade. You can have anyone that you want. I do mean anyone and everyone.”
“But I want you. I know I’ve been an a*shole and I’m sorry. I don’t even know how I let things go so far and let myself become an a*shole . . . but when you fall it happens all too fast.” I step closer to her so that my lips are brushing hers. “All I’m asking is for you to give me a chance. We can take things slow. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I can’t stop thinking about you, Aspen. No one has been able to make me feel the way you do. No one has been able to make me feel at all.”
She tilts her head up and rubs her lips against mine, but doesn’t kiss me. “I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
“How do you feel about me?” I tilt her face up so she can look me in the eyes. The eyes always give the heart away. “Tell me how you feel. I don’t want a bullshit answer this time. I’m standing here in front of everyone asking you if you feel the same way I do. Tell me the truth.”
Her eyes search mine and I can see her walls break down a bit. She cares for me, but just how much? Is it enough? I can only hope. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I knew then that I wouldn’t be able to forget you. I was right. I was hoping that I’d be able to go the whole week and force myself to hate you. It didn’t happen. Every day, I fell further for you.” She reaches up and wraps her hands in my hair and gently tugs on it. “Then you opened up to me and I fell even more. It was unstoppable and I knew I was screwed in the best way possible. I wanted to know more. I wanted to help ease your pain. I wanted to cure you.”
I pull her face to mine and suck in her bottom lip before releasing it. “You did f*cking cure me. Now give me a chance to cure you. If I f*ck up you can punish me.” I smirk and she lightly taps my cheek. “I mean it.”
Her eyes search mine for a second and I leave them open for her. I want her to read them; to see how I truly feel and that I meant every word that I said. “We’ll take things slow,” she asks. “At my pace?”
“At your pace.” I smile as I bite her lip and press my body against hers. “Except for in the bedroom.”
She laughs and again, it’s the most beautiful sound in the f*cking world. Especially when it’s because of me. I never want to forget that sound. “I think I can handle that,” she whispers. “Just don’t hurt me, please. I can’t handle it.”
“I won’t do that. If I hurt you I will only be hurting myself more.” I gently suck her bottom lip into my mouth before kissing her. She kisses me back with a desperation that says she’s missed me as much as I’ve missed her before pulling away and placing her forehead to mine.
“Maybe you should stay at my house tonight. You know, come help me unpack.”
“All right, guys,” Cale jumps in between us and places his hand on my chest. “This is getting too f*cking mushy. Slade, are you running a f*cking fever?”
“F*ck you, Cale.” I push him out of the way and grab my woman, throwing her over my shoulder. She giggles and slaps my ass. I like it. “Have fun closing up the bar. I’m f*cking out.”
Before Cale or Sarah can respond, I’m out the f*cking door. I smack Aspen’s perfect little ass, causing her to bite me as I head for the white Jeep that she points to.
Looks like I have a lot to prove before Aspen will completely trust me and give herself to me fully. I’m willing to give it my all. She deserves better than what she’s had and that’s what I’ll be working to be. She’s opened my eyes and I’m not going to f*cking let them close again. I’m tired of not living and just getting by day by day, trying my best to feel less dead.
I have no idea where this will take me and if it will work out, but it’s worth fighting for. That’s the only thing I know at the moment.
I’m going to show this woman that I can be her man and more; show her and myself that I’m still human . . .
The End of #1
Missing Slade and Aspen already? Be sure to check out the rest of the Walk Of Shame series to get updates on where they stand. This is the order of the series. Also, be sure to check out Hemy’s blurb to see what his story is about. Don’t miss out. Thank you!
Slade (Walk Of Shame #1)
Hemy (Walk Of Shame #2)
Cale (Walk Of Shame #3)
Hemy (Walk Of Shame #2)
Coming winter 2014
My name is Hemy Knox and I’m a f*cking heartbreaker . . .
I’ve hurt the one person that means the most to me in life; the only woman I have ever f*cking loved. I let the drugs, alcohol and wild life take over; consume me. I got her where I wanted her and ripped her f*cking heart out.
Since then, I’ve spent countless nights having dirty, meaningless sex with a multitude of people; only leaving them wanting and begging for more with no regrets. Some may even call me the devil; soulless.
They look and judge, but there is one thing they don’t know; no one does. I want more than this life of stripping and sleeping around; the never ending party. I want love and everything that comes with it; that high that never ends. The problem is . . . I only want it with her.
Onyx.
She refuses to be mine . . . again. She’s smart and it’s a mother f*cking pain in my ass; guarding her heart while ripping mine right out of my f*cking chest. I can’t say that I blame her. I always was a dumb ass when it came to the emotions of a woman, especially her.
She wants to see me suffer as much as I made her; watch me wither and f*cking die at her feet. She wants to crush me until I’m no longer breathing and I will let her, because it hurts far less than not having her as mine.
I will stop at nothing to make her mine again. The pain only drives me harder; feeding my fury and giving me a reason to live . . . her.
***Author's note*** Due to strong language and a very high amount of sexual content, this book is not intended for readers under the age of 18. This is #2 in the Walk Of Shame series of novellas that will all be STANDALONE reads. This includes F/M and F/M/M so if you’re not into dirty sex scenes with filthy language, then this book is not for you. If you are . . . then, come meet the dirty boys of Walk Of Shame.
Slade (Walk Of Shame #1)
Victoria Ashley's books
- A WHISPER OF ETERNIT
- A Dash of Scandal
- The Eye of Minds
- The Invention of Wings
- A Gate of Night (A Shade of Vampire #6)
- A Castle of Sand (A Shade of Vampire 3)
- A Shade of Blood (A Shade of Vampire 2)
- Point of Retreat (Slammed #2)
- Fifty Shades of Grey
- James Potter and the Vault of Destinies
- Bloodfire (Blood Destiny #1)
- Captured (The Captive #1)
- The Love Game (The Game, #1)
- Just One Day (Just One Day #1)
- Slammed (Slammed #1)
- The Program (The Program #1)
- Darkhouse (Experiment in Terror #1)