Slade (Walk Of Shame #1)

Chapter Fifteen
Slade



I feel as if a f*cking weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I’ve been fighting for so long, using every bit of strength I had to keep this shit inside; to not feel the guilt and pain of losing Helena and our baby. It’s been almost three years since the accident. It’s time I realize the pain will always be there. It’s either learn to live or don’t live at all. A part of me for the last week has been wanting to live. So, I think I’ll hold onto that and go with it.
I’m just throwing on my shirt, when the bedroom door opens and Cale steps inside. He looks a hot mess as if he didn’t sleep for shit. Not a pretty sight.
“Dude. What the f*ck was all that noise a bit ago? You had some chick f*cking screaming like mad in the shower. It woke my ass up and probably woke Aspen up. It’s too early for this shit.”
I raise an eyebrow at him while slipping on my Chucks and fastening my belt. “It was Aspen. Don’t worry, man. She’s perfectly f*cking fine. Trust me.”
He takes a step back and scrunches his forehead up. “Whoa, man. What the f*ck do you mean it was Aspen?” He takes quick steps in my direction and stops right in front of me. “That has to be a f*cking joke. I know you f*cked her the other night. It never happens twice with you. Are you f*cking with me?”
I place my hand on his shoulder and squeeze. “Nah, man. I’m not f*cking with you.” I smile and slap him on the back, almost making him fall forward. “I’m taking her for a ride on my motorcycle and chilling for a bit before work.” I walk toward the door and stop to look back at him. “It’s a nice f*cking day out. I don’t want to be cooped up inside.”
“What. The. F*ck.” He gives me a shocked ass look and runs his hands over his face really fast as if trying to wake himself up. “I must need to go back to sleep. I think I’m hearing things now.”
“Definitely not hearing things. Now get the f*ck out of my room, mother f*cker.” I nod my head and laugh as he walks past me, keeping his eyes on me the whole time. He’s looking at me as if he’s waiting on something. I don’t have time for this shit. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Nothing. I’m just trying to wrap my head around this shit. Not only did Aspen let you f*ck her more than once, but you wanted to.”
“All right, man. Well I don’t have time to stand here while you try to wrap your big head around this shit. I have to be at the club in three hours.” I walk past him and make my way down the stairs.
Right as I reach for my keys, Aspen steps out of Cale’s room, wearing a pair of faded jeans, a white tank top and some old Chucks.
All right. My kind of girl.
I grab her by the waist, pull her to me and suck her bottom lip into my mouth. She seems a little surprised at first, but eventually wraps her hands in the back of my hair and moans as I rub my hands up her sides.
I release her lip and look her up and down, taking all her raw sexiness in. “Shit, you’re so f*cking sexy.” I press my lips against hers while backing her up against the door and cupping her ass in my hands. Right now, I just can’t keep my hands off of her. “F*ck, just one taste and I can’t get enough. I want f*cking more of you.”
“Wow. I definitely was not expecting this shit. This is way f*cked up and unnatural. For the both of you.”
Aspen pulls her mouth away at the sound of Cale’s voice and clears her throat. She nervously looks me in the eyes and maneuvers her way out of my hold. “Umm . . . I’ll be back in a bit. Slade is just taking me on a ride.”
Cale lifts an eyebrow and leans against the couch. “You mean another one? Isn’t two enough?”
“Ha. Very funny, smartass.” Aspen shoots him an icy glare before reaching for the door handle and pushing me out of the way so she can walk outside.
I turn back to Cale and nod my head at him. “All right, man. We’re out. By the way, you can stop worrying about her. I know what the f*ck I’m doing.”
He crosses his arms over his chest and stares at the door with a sullen expression. “Maybe it’s not her I’m worried about.” He turns and walks away without another word.
All f*cking right . . .
When I get outside, Aspen is leaning against my motorcycle while staring down at her phone as if waiting on something. She shoves her phone in her pocket and smiles when she notices me watching her.
“You ready? Where are we going?” She’s looking at me as if she doesn’t know how to act around me. I don’t blame her. Right now, I’m probably confusing the shit out of her. She knows my f*cking rules. She knows I broke those f*cking rules . . . and for her. I wouldn’t know how to react either.
I walk over to my bike, grab my helmet and slip it on her head. There is something about a girl on the back of a motorcycle in jeans and a tank that is extremely sexy . . . or maybe it’s just her on the back of the motorcycle. Once the strap is fastened, I straddle my bike and grab her arm, pulling her on behind me. “Hold on tight.”
She wraps her arms around my waist and snuggles up close behind me. The unexplainable feeling I have with her against me doesn’t go unnoticed before I fire up the engine and take off.
We ride for about an hour until we finally pull up at the same spot I took her a few days ago. The memory of her soaking wet in more ways than one instantly floods the banks of my memory. The reminder of what happened here last time already has my dick f*cking hard and ready for more. I’d always wanted to pleasure a woman out in the rain. I can’t deny it was one of the hottest things I’ve ever done. Not to mention, I was a little surprised she let it happen. That only turned me on more.
F*ck me. Now during a summer rain, I’ll never be the same.
I help Aspen off my bike. As I get off, I take notice of the bulge underneath my jeans and adjust the enlarged area of my crotch. My cock is so hard right now that my jeans are almost not loose enough to contain it. I see Aspen looking down at my dick and swallowing as I push it down. She wants me again and it gets me so f*cking hot just knowing that I have her ready for more so soon.
“Get over here, babe.”
She seems hesitant at first, but walks over to stand in front of me. Her eyes are studying mine and she looks curious. I want to know what the hell this woman is thinking. What the hell, curiosity wins out. “Ask.”
“I want to know more about your life, Slade. Why do you have all those suits in your closest? Please don’t tell me they’re costumes for work because I know that’s not true. I saw the pictures of you wearing them. You looked . . . different. Nothing like you do today.”
My eyes study her face. She’s really serious about this. She wants to know about me. It may sound a little f*cked up, but she’s the first woman to ask me anything personal about my life. All that the other women wanted was a good f*ck and they knew they would get it from me. I grew used to it; got comfortable and became accustomed to it. It became my escape; my addiction. It may make me sound like shit, but when you basically f*ck for a living you get used to it; crave it and then it gets hard to stop.
For some reason I want to tell her. I want her to know more about me. “All right. I’ll tell you.” I pick her up by the hips and set her down so she’s straddling the back of my bike just like the last time we were here. I just hope she’s ready for this because it’s a long f*cking story and one I don’t usually tell.
“I used to be a lawyer.” She gives me a shocked look by widening her eyes, but stays quiet. I know, it’s quite a f*cking shocker from looking at the man you see today. “I worked for my father’s Law Firm. It wasn’t what I wanted to do. It was what I was expected to do. I didn’t have a passion for it; although, I was one of the best. Everyone wanted me to handle their cases because they knew they wouldn’t get any better. I was a damn good lawyer. I just didn’t like it. I worked very hard; too hard. It got boring as shit and fast.”
I grab her legs and yank her to me so her legs are wrapped around my waist and my hands are locked behind her back. “After the accident, I shut myself off from the world. I didn’t leave my house for about a month straight. When that month was up, I couldn’t force myself to go back to that life. No matter how hard my father pushed me, I just pushed back. I couldn’t f*cking do it anymore. I was tired of living life the way he wanted me to. There was only one option; to quit.”
“A few months later, after draining the money I had in my savings account and not doing shit but eating, showering and sleeping, Cale asked me to come out to a party at Walk Of Shame. I hadn’t been out of the house pretty much at all since the accident, so I agreed to go out and try to get my mind off things. Cale was dancing that night along with Hemy and somehow the women kept mistaking me for one of the dancers. They couldn’t keep their hands off me. I hadn’t felt anything in a long time and that night, I had such a rush that I was on some kind of high. It was the first feeling I had since the accident. I grew addicted to the rush and depended on it. It was my normalcy, so I took a job at the club and became roommates with Cale a few months later. I’ve just barely been getting by. First it was the dancing and the sex, then it became the tattoos and the pain I got from them. It kept me feeling something; made me feel more alive. When that didn’t help me anymore, I moved on and it became the drinking. The alcohol was enough to numb it. It has gotten me by . . . until now. I want more though. I just don’t know if I can have it; if I deserve it.”
She scoots closer to me and reaches out to cup my face in her hands. I find myself reaching up to place my hands over hers as I look into her eyes. It feels nice. “Thanks for sharing that with me. I know how hard this must be for you. I also know that you don’t open up very often. It means a lot to me.” She leans in, hesitates, but then presses her lips against mine.
She gets ready to pull away, but I tangle my hands in the back of her hair and pull her as close to me as I can. The feeling I have right now is unexplainable. It’s so f*cking good that I could just kiss her all night and not give a damn about anything else. I haven’t talked to anyone about my past and with her, she makes it feel so natural; so damn easy. It’s like she’s the medicine I’ve needed all along; the way to cope.
The feel of her in my arms and the taste of her in my mouth makes me feel . . . at ease. Just a little bit of peace finally; not enough to kill the pain, but enough to give me a little hope.
I pick her up off my bike and wrap her legs around my waist while kissing her long and hard. I want her to know that she’s only making me want her more each and every day. At first, it was just a sexual attraction; the need to have something that I couldn’t, but it’s become more to me than just that. She’s different than the other girls. She’s more than just a f*ck. She’s addictive, but the right kind of addiction. I have a very addictive personality and she may be the thing I need to feed it.
A few minutes pass before she pulls away from the kiss and places her forehead against mine. We look into each other’s eyes and I run my finger over her cheek.
“What,” she asks. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking about how beautiful you are and the way you make me want more than what I have.”
She sucks in a deep breath and turns her head away from me. Right before she turned away, I caught a look in her eyes that made my chest ache. There’s something she’s not telling me. I can tell.
“We should get going, Slade. You have to be at work soon. Okay?” She forces a smile and taps my chest so I know to set her back down to her feet.
When her feet hit the ground, she goes straight for my motorcycle and slips my helmet on. She’s ready to get away from me. I don’t like that feeling. Not one f*cking bit.
I stalk over to her, pull her into my arms and make her look me in the eyes. “Tell me something about yourself that I don’t know. I don’t know shit about your life back at home.”
She swallows hard and tries turning her face away, but I don’t let her. I need to be able to read her eyes when she talks. “I work at a hair salon. I’ve been there for four years. I love it. Doing hair makes me happy. I just turned twenty three a few months ago and I have a cat named Puma. He’s black and white and a pain in the ass, but I love him. I hate seafood. I eat ranch sauce on everything and have a passion for reading. I’m not much for the party life and would rather curl up with someone that cares about me and watch a movie instead of going out.” She pauses to look down at my lips before looking back up. “There’s not much else to tell.”
I release her face and we both just stand here in silence. Something feels a little off about the way she’s acting. Maybe it’s just me. I don’t blame her for not wanting to get close to me; especially, not knowing my intentions. I don’t even know them myself. This is all new to me.
“Okay.” I turn and walk to my bike, unsatisfied. “Let’s go.”




*       *       *



Sarah has been giving me weird looks all f*cking day. I’m not really sure what’s on her mind, but it’s starting to get on my damn nerves.
“Say it,” I mutter.
She sets her towel down on the bar and begins wiping it off. “Say what?”
I look up from putting the glasses in the cooler and study her face. She definitely has something on her mind. She knows I don’t like playing these games. I’m not a f*cking mind reader. “You have something you want to say. Since when do you hold back?”
Shaking her head, she turns away and starts working faster at wiping down the bar. “Okay, then.” She drops her towel, leans against the bar and smiles. “You broke your f*cking rules.” Pushing away from the counter, she walks over to me and kneels down next to me. “Someone finally broke you. I’m in total awe of this woman. She’s a goddess. I’m definitely jealous, Slade.”
Grunting, I slam down the glass in my hand and stand up before rubbing my hands over my face. “F*cking, Cale.” I reach for her arm and pull her up to her feet. “I swear he gossips just like a f*cking chick.”
She quickly grabs for a beer and places it in front of one of her customers before rushing back over to me. “He called me this morning to see if I wanted to get off work early; said he needed some extra cash. He got on the subject of Aspen and it came out. He’s just as shocked as I am. Believe me.”
“Yeah. Well, you’re not the only ones. Don’t even ask me to explain it because I can’t. I wouldn’t even if I knew how so back off.” I lean against the register and watch as a few girls look at me from across the bar, smiling to each other. They’re both looking desperate; watching my every move as if their lives depend on it. I’m sure it won’t be long before they approach me and try to pull me into the back. I’ve had it happen more than once while working. It used to get me all worked up. Right now, I’m not even feeling it.
“Do you need to take a break?” Sarah stands next to me and eyes the two girls before nudging me. “I can handle the bar. I don’t need you.”
“Nah.” I push away from the register and start checking the bottles of liquor to see if any need to be replaced. I need anything to keep me busy. “Not this time.”
“Wow. Two surprises in one day,” she says teasingly while walking back over to clean the bar. “I don’t know how to take all this in.”
“Yeah, well I can be full of f*cking surprises. Trust me.”
“Oh yeah. Well, here’s another one. Look who’s here.”
I turn behind me to see that Aspen and her friend have just walked in.
F*ck me. She is f*cking beautiful.
Aspen’s eyes stay focused on me the whole time that her and Kayla make their way up to the bar. They both stop in front of Sarah and order a couple drinks. I see her trying hard not to look at me. I can tell it’s a tough struggle for her.
After the way we left things earlier, I’m not sure how the f*ck to feel about her being here. I don’t get the way she was acting. I opened up to her and it feels as if she’s trying to keep me out.
F*ck that. I don’t need that right now.
Seconds later, Cale comes walking in and I focus my attention on him. Just the a*shole I need to speak with.
The girls have taken their drinks and are heading over to one of the empty couches. Now would be a good time to give Cale a piece of my f*cking mind.
I wait for him to step behind the bar before I get straight to the f*cking point. “You have a big f*cking mouth.”
He looks at me and then over to Sarah. “You can take off if you want. I’ve got it from here. I’m sure you don’t want to deal with this side of Slade.”
Sarah nods her head and grabs for her things. “Yeah, I’ll be more than happy to get the hell out of here.” She starts walking away, but then stops to look back at us. “I already closed out my tickets. You boys have fun now; just not too much without me.” She winks and takes off in a hurry, waving back at Aspen and Kayla.
“My bad, man. I didn’t think you’d get pissed about it. You’ve never been secretive about your sex life before. It just sort of came out. It’s a big deal. I still can’t believe it.”
“Yeah well, it’s a big deal for me too so let’s just drop it.”
“All right.” He looks over at Aspen and Kayla. “You do realize she’ll be leaving soon, right?”
“Yeah. So?”
“She probably won’t be coming back for a long ass time. There must be something special about her for you to let her get to you the way she has for this past week. Are you sure you’re willing to let her go?”
I take in a deep breath and release it. I look up to see Aspen laughing at something some moron is saying to her. I feel my stomach drop as I watch her having a good time with him. “Yeah. It’s not my place to have her stay. There’s nothing going on between us. She’ll be gone tomorrow and things will go back to normal.”
“Really,” Cale asks. “Is that why you’re breathing heavy right now and your fists are clenched at your sides?” He studies me from the side. He’s good as f*ck at reading me. “You want to rip that guy’s head off right now; especially, now that he keeps getting closer to her as if he’s going to take her home. You’re about to freak the f*ck out. Admit it.”
F*cking shit, he’s right.
I jump over the bar, walk up beside her and nod at the douche in front of her. He looks a bit nervous all of a sudden. Yeah, well he should be. “What’s up?” I step in between them, pull her to me by the back of her neck and press my lips against hers, immediately wrapping my hands in the back of her hair.
I kiss her hard; spreading her lips open with my tongue before picking her up and wrapping her legs around my waist. From the corner of my eye, I see the a*shole has gotten the hint and has stepped away.
Smart move, mother f*cker.
She moans softly before pulling her lips away from mine and running her tongue over them. She seems a bit shaken up by my bold move. “Umm . . . wow,” she breathes. “I mean. What are you doing?”
“Kissing you. Isn’t it pretty f*cking obvious?” I pull her face close to mine before running my lips up her neck and stopping at her ear. “You like my lips kissing yours, sucking them and owning them. Just remember that.”
I set her down and walk away. I’m heated.
Cale watches me as I make my way past the bar and outside. I need a f*cking cigarette right now. The thought of that guy even trying to take her home has my blood boiling. I need to relax before I break something. I’m not used to this kind of jealousy.
Inhaling the cigarette in record time, I make my way back inside and try my best to focus on anything but . . . her. I never once thought a woman could be such a f*cking distraction. All I can do is think about taking her in the back and f*cking her; making her scream my f*cking name. It’s like my body can’t get enough of her. I just have to touch her and taste her. She’s in for it tonight. As soon as I get her ass home, she’s mine.
It’s been three hours since Aspen and Cale have gotten here and it’s almost time for me to get the f*ck out of here. I don’t care what Cale says, she is leaving with me. She doesn’t need to hang out here all night while he works. Her friend Kayla left about an hour ago; said she had to leave for work. So, Aspen has been going back and forth between hanging out at the bar with me and Cale and talking to some girls she met while getting a drink earlier.
By the way she keeps looking at me, I can tell she’s just as ready to get out of here as I am.
“You taking off soon?” Cale’s voice causes me to look up from wiping down the bar.
“Yeah.” I toss the towel in the bucket and walk over to the register to see what tabs I need to close out still. “As soon as I close out these two tabs.”
I look up just in time to see Aspen waving the girls off that she’s been hanging out with. She laughs at something one of the girls says and then starts making her way over to us.
Just as she’s about to walk up in front of me, some guy calls her name, stopping her in her tracks.
“Aspen.” The guy has light brown hair, styled in the front and is wearing a black button down shirt with dark jeans. He’s about two inches shorter than me and almost as thick in build, but is clean cut.
There is something about the look on her face that I don’t like. She seems surprised and not happy at all.
She turns around slowly and rubs her hands down the side of her skirt. “Jay. What are you doing here?”
Jay as she called him, walks over to her and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her body against his.
Without thinking, I take a step forward, about to kill this a*shole for putting his hand all over her, but Cale stops me.
“Get the f*ck off me, Cale.” I push his hand away, but he just pushes my chest harder. “Back the f*ck up. That a*shole is all over her.”
Cale takes a long, deep breath and then exhales. “Yeah well, that a*shole is her boyfriend.”
What the f*ck . . .