7
Worlds Collide
‘HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?’ I ASKED Sara a week after our meltdown.
When Sara ended her relationship with Jared the summer before she left for Paris, I knew she’d never expected him to move on, at least not like this.
‘F*ck him. He and his little skank can go to hell. I don’t care any more.’
‘Um, okay.’ I’d spoken to Sara every day since she’d discovered the announcement. She’d explored every range of emotion during that time, and this bitterness was the closest she was going to come to acceptance. I knew she didn’t want to talk about it. I could respect that.
‘So Jean-Luc and I are going to Italy next week for break,’ Sara revealed excitedly, as if we’d previously been discussing the weather.
‘Oh, okay,’ I responded, adjusting to the sudden change of conversation.
‘His friends have a place right on the water in this small village in southern Italy,’ she continued. ‘I can’t wait. I need to get away from the city for a while. Doesn’t your quarter end in a couple of weeks? What are you doing during the break?’
‘Uh, nothing.’
‘Are the girls going away?’ Sara enquired.
‘Yeah, I think so,’ I tried to recall. ‘Serena’s going to Florida with her sister. Meg just started dating some guy a few weeks ago, and he’s taking her to Tahoe. And I’m not sure what Peyton’s doing, but she’s going somewhere.’
‘So, you’ll be by yourself?’ she confirmed.
‘Yeah.’
‘Are you going to be okay?’ I knew she worried about me. And I knew she and Meg talked about me more than they led me to believe.
‘I’ll be fine,’ I responded without conviction.
The week of final exams for winter quarter, Peyton let herself into my room and plopped down on my bed to announce, ‘You’re going with me to Santa Barbara during break.’
‘Excuse me?’ I spun around in my chair. ‘Why am I going with you to Santa Barbara?’
‘Because I don’t want to stay in my aunt and uncle’s place alone, and you don’t have plans, so you’re coming with me.’
‘You’re not asking me?’ I clarified, recognizing that it had all been discussed and decided.
‘Nope. We’re leaving after your last exam on Thursday.’ With that, Peyton bounced off my bed and left my room. I stared after her with a baffled look on my face. This had to be Sara’s doing.
‘Have so much fun!’ Meg gave me a hug before I ducked into the car.
‘And don’t let Peyton drive you crazy,’ Serena added with a taunting grin.
‘Screw you, Serena,’ Peyton shot back, her voice overly sweet but laced with a bite. ‘Don’t scare the little old ladies in Florida,’ she sang before rolling up the window. Her smile beamed when Serena flipped her off.
‘You two kill me,’ I laughed with a shake of my head.
‘Whatever,’ Peyton stated, driving away.
I plugged in my iPhone and started scrolling through my music selection, finally settling on a playlist that I considered a compromise. Peyton and I preferred music at opposite ends of the spectrum. She didn’t complain, so I assumed she approved.
‘I know this isn’t the wildest spring-break spot, but I’m hoping we can find some decent parties,’ she said as she pulled onto the highway. ‘Especially if it’s too cold to lay out on the beach.’
‘I’m sure you’ll find something to do.’
‘No … we will find something to do. Don’t think you’re getting out of partying that easily.’
I saw it coming. I knew she was going to expect me to go out with her. I sighed. A moment later, I asked, ‘How do you do it?’
‘Do what?’ she responded, obviously having no idea what was in my head.
‘Party like you do, play soccer and still maintain your grades. I mean, you’re pre-law. You have to be doing well.’
Peyton chuckled. ‘Emma, just because you don’t see me study, doesn’t mean I don’t. You’re usually at the library anyway. I don’t have a perfect grade point like you, but I have no doubt I’ll get into law school. And it’s called balance. Ever heard of it?’
‘I may have heard of it.’
‘Seriously, Em, I would die if I didn’t let off some steam during the weekends. I mean, soccer is what I do to help me stay focused, and we don’t get to go out ever during the season. School is a necessity to get what I want in life. So when I actually have free time, I want to have fun. You don’t have to get wasted and be ridiculous. This is college. I know I keep saying that to you. But when else will we get away with this? It’s the only time in our lives we aren’t judged for f*cking up. It’s expected.’
‘I think I have the f*cking-up part perfected.’
Peyton laughed. ‘Give me a chance, and I’ll show you a side to college life you haven’t seen yet. I know there’s a part of you that’s actually fun.’
‘Wow,’ I replied, feigning offence. ‘I’ve always wondered why we’re friends.’
‘Because you can actually be pretty entertaining when you aren’t being miserable.’
‘That was rhetorical, Peyton. But thanks.’ I shook my head at her unfiltered honesty. A moment later I conceded, ‘Fine. You have a week.’ I should have felt anxious agreeing to be a pawn in Peyton’s ‘balanced’ world. She was more dedicated to it than Sara had been. But then again, that was in high school, and Sara had limitations called parents. So maybe it was time I had some fun. I didn’t want to be miserable any more.
‘We’re going to a party tomorrow night,’ Peyton declared the next morning, before I’d even had a chance to have breakfast.
‘Wow. That was fast,’ I noted, searching the cabinets for a cereal bowl.
‘Tom told me about this party that’s happening down the street from him,’ she continued. ‘I guess these guys throw the best parties, and the family’s loaded, so sometimes hundreds of people show up.’
‘Tom?’ I questioned. ‘I didn’t know he was going to be here.’
‘He got here his morning,’ she answered casually, ignoring the edge to my voice. ‘We’re going to dinner tonight. It’s our first official date.’
I ground my teeth, trying not to show I was bothered by this revelation. ‘Where is he staying?’
‘In Santa Barbara,’ she answered, pulling a box of cereal out of the cabinet. ‘When the fog burns off, I want to get some sun. I don’t care if it’s a little cold. I cannot go back to school without any colour.’
We were staying in Carpinteria, a beachfront town about fifteen minutes south of Santa Barbara. Peyton’s aunt and uncle had a quaint three-bedroom house two blocks from the state beach.
‘Whatever.’ Being agitated with Peyton was pointless, and too exhausting. I now knew that Tom was her motive for being here. I’d been dragged along as an obligation, but I wasn’t about to be the third wheel. I’d much rather sit around, look at the ocean and read for a week.
And that’s exactly what I did when Peyton left for her date later that night. We’d braved the chilly temperatures on the beach for the afternoon and surprisingly walked away with pink cheeks and tan lines. Peyton was dedicated to sun worshipping, while I was fidgety, needing to get up and walk around every once in a while. Staying still for too long made the voices in my head restless, and that was the last thing I needed this week.
I received a text from Peyton around midnight. Going to spend tonight at Tom’s. See you tomorrow!
They’d been flirting for forever, so I wasn’t surprised they’d hit it off on the ‘first date’. But I was surprised that she was already moving in. I had a feeling that was the last I was going to see of her for a while.
At beach w Tom. See you at party later. Use my car. WEAR A DRESS! was the text I woke up to.
I don’t own a DRESS! I responded.
I have plenty. Wear what you want. YOU WILL BE AT THIS PARTY OR I WILL FIND YOU!!
It looked like I was going to the party after all, but … I was not wearing a dress. Peyton texted me the address and then disappeared for the day. I flipped through her closet, only to find form-fitting or barely-covering-my-butt dresses. Since I’d vowed to try to have a good time, I decided to drive to Santa Barbara to search the local shops for something that I could actually wear.
I inspected the reflection of the girl in the full-length mirror. The white capris with the colourful embroidered halter top were fun and summery, even though it was not technically summer. The outfit highlighted the colour I’d picked up the past two days on the beach. I liked it.
Liner accented the almond shape of my eyes, which were dusted with a soft neutral shimmer. I applied a layer of gloss on my lips and grinned at the feminine girl in the mirror. A complete contrast to the one who typically wore T-shirts and jeans and refused to mess with make-up. Pleased with myself, I grabbed my light blue cardigan, scooped up the keys to the Mustang and headed out the door.
I’d spent the entire day mentally preparing for this. These people didn’t know me. I could be a fun, outgoing girl, and maybe even talk to people. I could fake it for just one night. What did I have to lose?
I parked along the car-lined street and looked at myself one more time in the mirror above the visor. I connected with the brown eyes looking back at me. ‘Okay, Em. You can do this. You’re going to have a good time. Deep breath.’ I flipped up the visor and inhaled, filling my lungs, and then exhaled quickly. I got out of the car and started walking towards the music with the droves of other partygoers, shifting my shoulders back, trying to appear confident – like I did this all the time. On the inside my heart was pounding frantically and I was afraid I might start sweating.
As I neared the door, a group of girls stood in front of me on the sidewalk. I slipped in behind them, smiling like whatever they were saying was funny. They gawked at the large home. But I was unfazed by its grandeur, having seen similar houses where I grew up in Connecticut.
There was way too much giggling within this group of girls. I wasn’t that good at faking it. So I headed downstairs while they continued into the open great room, their necks twisted awkwardly to take in the epic scale of the space.
I followed the hallway past several closed doors until I entered a game room. It had the essentials all wealthy families seemed to have – pool table, foosball, large flat-screen suspended on the wall with an assortment of gaming equipment beneath. I went out the sliding glass doors and stepped out onto a patio that was crowded with even more people. Upbeat music echoed from speakers set around the pool, tiki torches blazed along the perimeter and I caught a glimpse of a bar on the other side of the patio.
I eyed the plastic-cup-carrying multitude of scantily dressed girls – skin on display despite the chilly night – trying to locate Peyton among the blondes. But this was California, so that was a daunting task.
I pulled out my phone to text her but couldn’t send; the estate, carved into the hills with the ocean in the distance below, apparently had made my cell signal sketchy.
Instead of searching for the right spot to send the text, I headed towards the bar in hope of spotting Peyton. A guy in a multicoloured tropical shirt stood behind it. He paused a second after handing a beer bottle to the guy in front of me. I stepped up to the bar and looked behind me, confused by the recognition that flashed across his face. When I turned back towards him, he produced a charming smile and asked, ‘What can I get you?’
‘Vodka with something,’ I requested. Not expert enough to know what I liked, I decided to fall back on my mother’s liquor of choice.
‘I can do that.’ He began scooping ice from a bucket. ‘Who do you know here?’
‘No one,’ I answered, fidgeting awkwardly. He kept looking at me with this ridiculous grin, like he knew an inside joke that I wasn’t privy to. ‘I’m supposed to meet a friend, but I haven’t seen her yet.’
‘Well, I’m Brent,’ he stated, holding out his hand for me to shake. ‘This is my friend’s place. I’m staying here with him and a few other guys for the weekend.’ He handed me the drink.
‘I’m Emma. And now I know you. So if anyone asks, I’ll tell them that you and I are friends.’
‘We are friends,’ he replied adamantly, as if this was a known truth. I wrinkled my brow at his peculiar answer.
‘I think I’m going to go find my other friend,’ I told him, glancing around the pool. I took a sip of the clear bubbly drink with a lime floating in it. It didn’t taste bad. I turned back towards Brent and asked, ‘What am I drinking?’
‘Vodka soda. I kept it simple,’ he answered while preparing a drink for a girl leaning against the bar. ‘I didn’t figure you for the supersweet girly-drink kind of girl.’
‘Good call,’ I noted with a small laugh.
‘I will talk to you later. I’m not at the bar all night. We need to catch up, since I haven’t seen you in … ever,’ he stated with a gleaming smile. I nodded and couldn’t help but smile in return before walking towards the stairs.
‘Emma!’ I heard my name above the noise as I was midway up the steps. I tried to turn around, but was forced to keep moving up, caught in the line of people going into the house. I looked over the railing and spotted Peyton waving frantically below. ‘I’ll come up!’
I moved to the corner of the large upper deck to wait for her. ‘How long have you been here?’ she asked when she finally made it to the top of the stairs.
‘Not long,’ I told her. ‘This party is pretty huge.’ The crowd continued to grow around the pool, and inside it was packed with people dancing.
‘I know, right?’ she responded. ‘You look amazing.’ I smiled uncomfortably. ‘But … that’s not a dress.’
‘I don’t wear dresses,’ I told her. ‘Where’s Tom?’
‘Getting us drinks.’ She nodded towards the bar on the patio, but it was difficult to spot him from the aerial view. However, she seemed to know exactly where he was. Her gaze lingered and her lips drew up dreamily.
‘I take it you had a great date.’
‘You have no idea,’ she gushed. Then she waved, and I saw him nod his head in our direction.
Tom handed Peyton a drink when he joined us and slid his arm around her shoulder. Peyton nestled into him, her arm snug around his waist. I tried to act casual, but the amorous energy they were emitting was making me uncomfortable.
‘So … Tom, I heard you’re staying in Santa Barbara,’ I finally said, feeling like I should say something to distract from the awkwardness.
His eyes twitched slightly, and he looked down at Peyton. I heard her mumble, ‘I didn’t tell her.’ I stared at Peyton, silently demanding her to spill whatever she was keeping from me.
‘Yeah,’ Tom answered hesitantly. ‘The place is right down the street from here. The house isn’t very big, but it’s right on the beach. It’s pretty sweet.’
‘Great,’ I forced, still watching Peyton, who refused to look at me.
Then I heard, ‘You’ve got to be f*cking kidding me.’ I looked past Tom, and there stood Cole, staring at me in disbelief. Shit.
I couldn’t speak. My eyes shifted from Cole to Peyton, who still refused to look at me. I downed the last gulp in my cup and announced, ‘I think I need another drink,’ quickly slipping into the house. After navigating my way through gyrating hips and flinging hair, I arrived at a bar on the far side of the cleared-out living room.
The bartender at this bar wore a blue tropical shirt. His brown hair was full of dreads and pulled back into a low ponytail. He scanned me casually, and his mouth tightened into a subtle smile. I was beginning to wonder if I had something stuck to my face. ‘Can I get you a drink?’ he offered. I requested the same concoction that Brent had prepared; then he asked the question of the night: ‘Who do you know here?’
‘Brent,’ I answered automatically.
‘Really?’ He handed me the drink.
‘Yeah, we’re friends,’ I continued, the side of my mouth quirking up slightly.
‘You do look familiar,’ he noted with a deliberating nod. I thought he was playing along, but he really looked like he knew me, which threw me off.
‘What’s your name?’
‘Ren,’ he told me, continuing to examine me, probably mentally rolling through the list of Brent’s friends, searching for my face.
‘You do know me, don’t you?’ I teased, hoping to confuse him more.
‘I do actually,’ he said sincerely. Before he could continue, an overly excited group of girls approached the bar, demanding shots. I slipped out of the way, through the crowd and onto the deck.
I considered avoiding Cole all night, but knew the universe was just too cruel and we were going to keep bumping into each other if I tried to stay away. So I thought if I approached him, he’d leave and I could resume faking my good time. I stood next to him as he leaned against the railing, looking out at the ocean in the distance. He refused to acknowledge me, but he didn’t leave either.
‘I haven’t gone skinny-dipping yet,’ I announced, leaning my forearms against the rail next to him.
‘You’d better get to it,’ he snapped, still not looking at me. ‘The year’s slipping away.’ He gripped the cup tightly in his hand, as if he was about to crush it. I considered walking away. And I probably should have. But I didn’t.
‘It’s not even April,’ I contradicted. He shrugged. We stood in silence for a moment. I sipped my drink and waited. And then …
‘What the hell, Emma! Why are you even talking to me? You obviously don’t give a shit. So why don’t you go torture someone else and make them feel like a jackass.’
His angry rush of words startled me, and I swallowed each one whole, letting them sink like rocks in my stomach. I deserved every one of them. So I accepted his ire without blinking.
‘Do you want a drink?’ I offered. ‘The bartender by the pool is a friend of mine. He makes a mean vodka soda.’
Cole stared at me in disbelief. ‘I don’t understand you.’ He shook his head, still staring. After a moment of silence he caved. ‘Yeah. I’ll get a drink. God knows I’m going to need one with you around.’
‘I’ll take that as a twisted compliment.’ I smirked and led the way down the stairs.
The bar by the pool had a new guy attending it. He had dirty blond hair that was neatly trimmed, combed forward and stylishly pushed up in the front. He was sporting a red Hawaiian shirt, evidently this was the dress code for the guys staying at the house.
When I approached, his eyes narrowed in recognition. I was beginning to get a little freaked out.
‘Hi,’ he said cautiously. ‘You’re Emma, right?’
‘Yeah,’ I replied, assuming that Brent had said something to him when he took over the bar. ‘And you are?’
‘Nate.’ He raised his eyebrows in expectation. He was waiting for me to react, but I had no idea what I was supposed to be reacting to. I held up my hands, at a complete loss.
‘Wait. Are you guys messing with me?’ I accused, concluding I must be the victim of an inside joke. ‘Did Brent tell you and Ren to give me a hard time or something?’
‘No,’ Nate said, appearing confused. ‘You don’t know who I am? But you’re Emma Thomas, right?’ The fact that he knew my last name alarmed me.
‘Yeah, I am. Why? Should I know you?’ I asked, studying his face more closely. I glanced over at Cole, who was observing the exchange curiously. Nate didn’t seem to care that there was a line of thirsty people piling up behind me.
‘No way!’ A guy with shaggy blond hair approached. Nate gave him a warning glare, but he didn’t pay any attention. He was too focused on me. Now I was beyond freaked out. I didn’t like this game any more. ‘Emma! You really are here!’
I remained still, glancing from this guy to Nate and back again.
‘Come on, TJ,’ Nate implored. ‘Don’t do it, man. Leave it alone.’
‘What’s going on?’ I demanded quietly. I could sense Cole behind me, but he didn’t say a word.
‘You’re Emma Thomas? Evan’s Emma?’ TJ laughed in disbelief.
I couldn’t speak. I flipped my eyes towards Nate, who grimaced in apology.
‘He was just here over his break,’ TJ chuckled, not understanding what was happening in front of him. ‘Seriously, he left last weekend. That is so crazy.’
These were his friends. His California friends he went to school with when he lived in San Francisco. The friends he went on trips with during breaks.
I ran my eyes over Nate’s face, allowing it to all click into place. And this was Nate. His best friend. And this was the place where he’d planned to take me when he wanted to leave together our junior year. My knees felt like they were going to buckle. I grabbed the edge of the bar for support.
‘Can I have a shot?’ I choked. TJ started helping the other patrons, who were becoming irritated. I was in the way of their good time.
‘Sure,’ Nate replied, watching me carefully, like I might combust in front of his eyes. ‘What do you want?’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ I answered, having difficulty breathing. I tried to hold it together so Nate wouldn’t see what was erupting on the inside. ‘And can you fill this up again – vodka and soda?’
‘Okay,’ he agreed, nodding slowly. He searched the bottles in front of him. ‘Uh, looks like I’m out of soda.’
‘Just vodka works,’ I muttered, trying to swallow. He handed me a plastic shot glass filled with a clear liquor and placed a lime on a napkin. The smell of it made my mouth salivate. ‘What’s this?’
‘Tequila,’ he answered slowly, like he was surprised I didn’t know.
I swallowed the liquor and bit into the lime, with a shudder.
‘Thanks.’ I took the cup and walked away, my knees quaking beneath me. I knew Cole and Nate were watching me. I started hyperventilating now that my back was to them. But no matter how quickly I drew in air, I was suffocating. I feared that I wouldn’t be able to gain control over the burning pain, and I couldn’t lose it here. I needed to calm the f*ck down. Fast.
I pushed my way up the stairs and into the house, bumping into people dancing, annoying everyone in my path until I arrived at the second bar.
‘Hi, Brent,’ I greeted.
He produced a dazzling smile. ‘Emma, my friend! How are you doing?’
‘Great,’ I answered. ‘Can I have a shot? Actually, would you like to do one with me?’
‘Sure,’ he accepted emphatically. ‘What did you have in mind?’
‘Your call.’ I tried to maintain a smile. Wanting to keep up my casual appearance, I took a sip of my drink, but was unable to hide the tremor that sloshed the vodka around as I raised the cup to my mouth.
Brent selected tequila as Nate had done, and poured us each a shot.
He raised the plastic shot glass and toasted, ‘To friendship.’ I swallowed it down without hesitation, sinking my teeth into the lime immediately afterwards to contain the cringing.
‘How about one more?’
He raised his eyebrows at my request, then shrugged. ‘Sure. Why not?’
This time, I raised my cup and toasted, ‘To yesterday.’ His eyes flickered in confusion, but he didn’t ask. I wouldn’t have explained if he had. I tried to suppress the shudder as the tequila passed down my throat.
‘Thanks, Brent. I’ll talk to you later.’
‘Wait,’ he called after me. But I kept walking like I didn’t hear him.
Cole was standing on the deck with a drink in each hand. He offered one of the cups to me without saying anything. We stood on the deck, watching the people below for a few songs.
‘Are you going to be all right?’ he finally asked.
I shook my head. He continued to stand by me in silence, glancing at me every so often without a word. I concentrated on breathing, dumping the contents of the cup he’d given to me into the one I already had. I took slow sips and waited.
And then my head began to swirl, and the numbness settled in over the winding fire. I closed my eyes, inviting the induced calm.
‘Emma!’ Peyton called to me, making me spin around, which was not such a good idea. I steadied myself with a hand on the railing.
She eyed Cole next to me and grinned widely, probably figuring we were talking again. Which technically wasn’t true.
‘Peyton!’ I hollered in return and grappled her into a hug.
‘Are you drunk?’ Peyton accused in shock.
‘I hope so,’ I responded, breathing deep through my nose, savouring the hum of nothingness.
‘Did you do this?’ Peyton asked Cole.
‘Nope.’ He shook his head, holding up his hands in defence.
‘Well, don’t do anything stupid,’ Peyton advised. ‘We’re getting another drink. Come find me.’ And just like that, she disappeared.
‘Where are you going?’ Cole called after her, but she was already lost in the crowd.
‘You don’t need to babysit me.’ I looked up at him. ‘I think I need another drink anyway.’ I looked down at my cup, which was still half full.
‘Really,’ Cole challenged.
‘Yup.’ I put the cup to my lips and drained the rest. ‘See?’ I tipped it towards him. Cole took a step to follow me as I started towards the inside bar. I turned to tell him not to come with me, but my ankle faltered slightly. I still wasn’t used to heels, even if they were wedges. ‘Stupid shoes.’
I bent down to try to unstrap them, but stumbled.
‘Need help?’ he offered.
Before I could answer, he squatted in front of me and unbuckled the sandals. I stepped out of them, relieved to have my feet flat on the ground. He stood up with the sandals swinging from his fingers. He looked so tall, all of a sudden.
‘Wow,’ I gawked. ‘You grew.’
‘Or you shrunk,’ he replied with a crooked grin. ‘Let’s go.’ He nodded towards the house.
I turned and examined the obstacle course between the deck and the bar across the room. There was a lot of movement with the dancing and arms swaying – it was going to take a lot of concentration. I took a deep breath in preparation.
Cole grabbed my hand, and I looked up at him in surprise.
‘You look like you could use some help.’
‘Yes, that I do. I definitely need help.’ Cole escorted me through the obstacles without incident, and I emerged on the other side unscathed. I considered raising my arms in victory, but he still had my hand, and I didn’t think he would join me.
‘Emma!’ TJ hollered joyously when he spotted me.
‘TJ!’ I returned enthusiastically.
His expression changed, and he appeared perplexed. ‘Are you leaving?’
Without my realizing it, Cole had directed us towards the front door.
‘See you later, TJ,’ Cole said to him, opening the door for me to pass through.
‘We’re leaving?’ I questioned in confusion, as TJ said, ‘Later, Cole.’
That’s when I picked up on it. ‘Wait. You know them?’
‘Yes. And yes,’ Cole responded patiently as we continued along the walkway to the street. ‘My dad has a house down the road.’
‘You’ve got to be kidding me,’ I griped, frustration pushing through the calm. Why was this happening to me? This had to be a sick and twisted joke. ‘Of course you know them! Of course I had to come to this party. You probably know him too, right?’
‘You mean –’ He opened his mouth to say his name and stopped when I cut him down with my glare. ‘I’ve met him.’
I screamed up at the sky, ‘F*ck you, karma!’
But I couldn’t yell and walk at the same time, so I stopped. Cole looked on in baffled amusement.
‘F*cking stupid karma,’ I grumbled under my breath with my arms crossed.
‘You’re seriously pissed off?’ he chuckled.
‘Shut up, Cole,’ I snapped. ‘F*cking karma.’
‘You’d better stop telling karma off, or she’s going to kick your ass.’ He laughed.
‘Oh, she can bring it. Come on!’ I screamed at the stars. ‘Give me everything you’ve got!’
The corner of Cole’s lip rose. ‘Okay, champ. Calm down.’
I suddenly felt drained. With my shoulders curved forward, I sat down on the side of the street.
‘What are you doing?’ Cole enquired, towering over me.
‘I’m tired,’ I moaned, drawing up my knees and plopping my head down on my folded arms.
‘Come on,’ Cole encouraged, offering me his hand. ‘We’re almost there. And then you can pass out.’ I took his hand, and he lifted me from the ground. My footing faltered, and I grabbed on to his arm.
I continued walking with my head slumped against him, holding myself up with his arm. I was so tired … and dizzy. The ground wouldn’t stay still, and it was messing with me. I bit my lip, concentrating. Then I realized I couldn’t feel my lip, which made me think of kissing.
‘Cole?’
‘Yes, Emma.’
‘Will you kiss me?’
‘Uh, no,’ he responded bluntly.
‘But I want to know if you can feel my lips,’ I urged impatiently.
‘Still, no. I’m not kissing you.’
‘Why?’ I sulked.
There was silence for a minute. Then he said, ‘Because I’m not even sure I like you.’
‘Good reason,’ I noted sleepily. ‘But you don’t have to like me. You just have to kiss me. I can’t feel my lips.’
‘Stop biting them,’ he instructed. I blinked heavily and noticed we were walking towards a house.
‘Cole?’
‘Yes, Emma.’
‘I’m sorry I’m a bitch.’ He took out a key and unlocked the door. I was having a hard time holding my body upright. ‘And I’m sorry you don’t like me.’ He opened the door.
‘There’s a spare –’
But I was already moving towards the couch that I’d zoned in on when he’d opened the door. I fell on it with a heavy sigh and let the world spin me to sleep.