Which technically meant no choice.
Which meant that either Rick was literally fucked, or I was figuratively fucked, and holy shit, ultimatums like this didn’t bode well for anyone getting turned on enough to fuck.
I slid down the wall until I was crouched, the vague ache in my knees reminding me of the times I’d done this while Rick knelt in front of me. That memory should’ve been enough to make me grin, or raise goose bumps on my spine at the thought of having all that again at the next possible opportunity.
Did I tell Rick? Or did I keep it to myself? Shit. I couldn’t tell him. Then he might pull his business from the firm, and we’d all be fucked. Or he might think everything I’d done for him so far had been out of a need for job security.
A ball of lead formed in my gut. It hadn’t been for job security before, but suddenly I didn’t know where that ended and my desire began. Now I had to keep Rick happy. I had to give him anything and everything he wanted. I had to make sure this thing worked, kept working, didn’t stop working any time soon.
Fuck. This wasn’t done blowing up in my face, was it?
Chapter Twenty-Nine
In the NSFW Zone, I was hanging by a thread. I couldn’t tell them. I couldn’t concentrate. I wasn’t even sure I could keep my coffee down, but I kept drinking it anyway because I was on autopilot.
The music, the banter, the mouse-clicking, the gum-snapping. I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to follow Silent Dave’s lead and retreat into my own little world, but there was no point in going there either. I could escape the noise, the distraction, all the chaos that normally made my job enjoyable and made the hours fly by. Everything that used to make this the most incredible work environment on the planet. I could escape it all if I needed to, but that wouldn’t help. The only reason it all bothered me now was because it reminded me of what I didn’t hear.
I let myself get lost in my model and thoughts of Rick. I was aware of everyone talking around me, but even under the threat of death, I couldn’t have repeated a word they said. I made a few dazed trips to the supply room, including one in which I made it halfway back to the Zone before I had to go back and get everything I’d gone in to get in the first place.
Now all I needed to do was remember how to read a blueprint, and I’d be all—
A pencil skittered across the table, clipping my wrist as it went by.
I damn near jumped out of my skin, and looked around.
Teagan was watching me, leaning over her hands on her table a few feet away. “You up for sushi today?”
I wasn’t hungry in the slightest, but “do you want sushi?” was often code for “I need to talk”. No one else in our crew liked the stuff, so we were guaranteed a one-on-one conversation over lunch. When our eyes met, the thin, tight line of her lips confirmed she wasn’t just craving wasabi and sashimi.
Well, it would give me something to do besides staring at this model I’d forgotten how to build while I freaked out over my bosses’ ultimatum, so I laid my X-ACTO knife beside the miniature steps. “I’ll get my coat.”
“God, you two disgust me.” Scott shook his head and wrinkled his nose. “Raw fish, seaweed…”
“Ugh.” Cal shuddered.
Teagan laughed dryly. “You boys are so uncultured.”
“At least we’re not the ones eating raw fish.” Bianca made a face and shuddered just as Cal had.
“No accounting for taste,” Teagan said. “If the boss lady comes by, tell her we took an early lunch.”
“You should take her with you,” Scott said dryly. “She probably eats that shit too. Anything that’s barely dead and not fit for human consumption.”
“No, dipshit,” Cal said. “Everyone knows she eats babies and drinks the blood of virgins.”
Teagan laughed. “Well, Cal, I guess if she ever asks you to go for drinks, you should run—” She ducked, narrowly avoiding another flying pencil.
We started toward the door, and I asked, “You sure we should leave them without adult supervision?”
She shrugged. “Silent Dave is here. They’ll be fine.” Over her shoulder, she added, “Calvin, please don’t set anything on fire.”
The closing door cut off his response. We both laughed softly. Then the humor faded, and we walked to the parking lot in silence. No banter, no small talk. She must have been just as preoccupied as I was.
I drove, and the short ride was silent as well.
It was barely eleven, so the lunch rush hadn’t yet begun, and the sushi carousel was all but deserted. We took our usual booth near the prep counter. It was the prime spot to get the freshest plates before they’d had a chance to wind all the way around the restaurant. We’d keep an eye on the track, wait for something appetizing to come by and grab it. When we finished, we’d pay for the plates.