As if afraid that I’ll change my mind, Lucian stands, still holding me in his arms. “Is there anything that you need to take with you?” He looks distracted and I honestly believe he isn’t even aware he’s still holding me. I cherish his instinctive need to care for me. To be nurtured after so many years of neglect is something I will never take for granted.
“My bags are still at the door. We can get them on the way out.” I wiggle and he tightens his hold. “You can put me down now. I’m perfectly able to walk.”
My heart stutters as he gives me a look filled with anguish. “I’m afraid you’ll run from me again.”
“Luc,” I begin gently, “I’ve agreed to go with you. I’m not going to run. I told you where I was going earlier so it’s not as if you didn’t know. No matter how angry I get, I wouldn’t do that to you.”
He drops a kiss on my lips before saying, “I wish I could believe that.”
“Luc…” He doesn’t give me a chance to finish my sentence. He slowly lowers me to my feet before taking my hand.
“Ready, baby?” His tone is lighter, but he is far from relaxed. The tension emanating from him is palpable. My leaving earlier has had a profound effect on him. He’s shaken and clearly afraid of my reaction when he shares his past with me. He fears I’ll leave him, but I can’t imagine anything he’ll say that will make that happen. I’ve asked for his disclosure—I’ve given him no alternative. If he wants me, then he has to come clean. It’s not that I believe he shouldn’t have had a past before we met. He admits to casual sexual relationships and I’m sure there were many. He’s a rich, drop-dead handsome man who would have never lacked for willing women. Do I like to think of him with someone else? Hell no, what woman would? I don’t even want to know those types of details.
Cassie is different, though. His relationship with her has shaped him into the man he is. Even all these years later, she owns his nights and haunts his dreams. He wakes gasping for air, filled with an agony that only cocaine can ease. He has told me that she aborted their baby, but there is more there—much more. Something like that, while traumatic, shouldn’t be causing the type of dreams he has. In order for Lucian and me to be together, I have to know about her. It’s vital to the survival of Lucian and our relationship. I hope that in talking to me about her, he can finally be free of whatever demons haunt him.
I leave him briefly in the foyer to let Rose know. I knock on her closed door and she calls out for me to come in. She’s lying on her disheveled bed holding her phone. The grin on her face tells me that she has likely made good on her threat to call Max. She puts the phone against her chest and looks at me questioningly. “I’m going back to the apartment so Lucian and I can talk for a while.” She doesn’t try to talk me out of leaving; she simply gives me a smile that says she’d never expected I would stay.
“All righty then. You two kids behave.” I thank her and promise to call if I need to come back. As I’m closing the door behind me, I hear her say, “Max, I understand, but I don’t think I can help myself. When I’m alone, I’m just overcome with the need to make him pay.” I turn quickly, thinking I need to stay if she’s that close to the edge. When she gives me a smile and a thumbs-up, it hits me. She is pushing Max’s buttons. I think she couldn’t care less about Jake now. He is just a means to get to the man who has her complete attention. Poor Max. I’ve never met a more determined and goal-oriented person than Rose. If she wants him, then he should go ahead and wave the white flag now—he’s going down. I predict by the time their conversation is over, Max will be on his way over to talk her out of whatever she is threatening to do.
Lucian is standing at the door waiting for me. He looks down at my bags and back to me. I know he’s asking if I plan to take them. I nod, trying to reassure him that I’m not leaving, no matter what he reveals to me. It’s ironic, I know, considering how fast I packed and left after finding out about my father. What he doesn’t know though, is that even as angry as I was with him, I almost turned around a dozen times. Whether I live or die has mattered to so few people in my life. How could I possibly turn my back on the man who has guarded me with everything he is? He has only recently said the words—he loves me—but haven’t I felt it almost as long as I’ve known my feelings for him? He has shown me in every way possible that he’d do anything for me. Today he will give me the final part of himself that he has been holding back. He will share his pain with me, and no matter what the story, I will stay. In my heart and soul, I know we were destined to find each other. Two damaged, broken people looking for the person who could make them whole again. I am his and he is mine. Of this, I am certain.
Chapter Three