“The baby is too small right now to be seen on an abdominal ultrasound. I’ll insert this wand into your vagina and rotate it so we can see your uterus and ovaries. Some women find the pressure slightly uncomfortable, but it should be painless.” Holding up the phallic-like instrument, she asks brightly, “Are we ready?”
I want to ask her who “we” is since I’m the only one getting that thing stuffed inside me, but I think it’s probably not wise to make an enemy out of her. I don’t want to give her a reason to “accidently” use the wrong hole.
I turn to look at Lucian since he’s fallen silent during her graphic explanation of the ultrasound equipment. It’s hard to be certain with the dim lighting, but he looks unusually nervous. “Are you okay?” I whisper while Brittany is occupied punching something into her computer.
He takes my hand, squeezing it reassuringly. He looks as surprised as I am to learn the details of the ultrasound. The child Cassie carried was a boy, so I wonder if he was at the ultrasound with her. This isn’t the time for that question though, so I let it go for now. “I’m just excited,” he finally says, and then adds, “and a bit scared.”
Brittany looks up, obviously having caught his words. She studies him for a bit longer than would be considered professional before saying, “There is nothing at all to be nervous about, Mr.—”
“Lucian Quinn,” he replies.
No doubt she has noticed our last names are different. I feel the crazy need to stake my claim on him, just in case there is any question in her mind. I draw our clasped hands to my lips, effectively bringing his eyes back to me. “I love you,” I say loudly enough for her to hear. I know it’s silly, but I’m having a needy and possessive moment.
His lips curl into that sexy smile that gets me every time. “I love you too, baby,” he replies without hesitation.
Without further delay, Brittany inserts the wand and I shift slightly before I can stop myself. Lucian and I stare at the large screen hanging from the wall to the side of us. She begins by measuring my ovaries before moving on. Suddenly, we see something that looks like an oblong circle with a shape moving inside. Brittany points out the head, which looks huge in relation to the rest of the body. She then says that the fluttering movement is the baby’s heart and that the two small stick-like figures are the feet. You can barely make out the arms because of the way the baby is turned. I vaguely register her telling us that the measurements are spot-on at eleven weeks. I feel tears running down my face and as I look over at Lucian, I’m surprised to see he’s wiping at the moisture of his own.
The rest passes in a blur as I fight to keep my emotions under control. Both Lucian and I are silent as she finishes up and leaves the room for me to dress. I begin to sit up, preparing to get off the table, when Lucian suddenly envelops me in his arms. “I love you so much, Lia,” he rasps in my ear as he lovingly drops one hand to cradle my stomach. “Did you hear our baby’s heart beating?” he asks in wonder.
I can only nod, my throat too tight to get a word out. We sit there for another few moments, holding each other until I say, “I need to get dressed before she comes back to get us.” Even though my sheet is barely covering the essentials by that point, Lucian doesn’t make a sexual comment. We’re both struggling to get our emotions under control.
I have just buttoned my pants when a nurse leads us to the laboratory. There is no sign of Brittany. She takes some blood, before recording my weight. Finally, we’re settled in an exam room and wait for the doctor. “That was intense.” Lucian sighs and I know he’s talking about the ultrasound. “I went once with Cassie, but it was different. Truthfully, things were pretty bad between us by then and I was preoccupied with everything that was going on with her. She resented being pregnant so much that she didn’t enjoy seeing the baby, nor did she want me to either.”
“Oh, Luc.” I run my hand over his face, trying to soothe the sudden tightness in his jaw. “I know this baby can’t take the place of the one you lost, but we’ll be together for this every step of the way. There is no one else I would rather be the father of my child than you.”
He kisses me tenderly. When he pulls back, he gives me a lopsided smile. “I’m sorry for bringing that up. This wasn’t the time or place for that.”