Ah, that does seem to be the question of the day from those who care about me. “Somewhat,” I answer honestly. “My stress level has been off-the-charts without something to take the edge off, and I’ve been a bastard to anyone near more often than not. If Cindy didn’t love me, she would have quit. Hell, she told me that very thing when she almost slammed the door off the hinges one day last week.”
Aidan grins before saying, “She might beat your ass, but she’ll never leave you.” I incline my head in acknowledgment because I know he’s right. I study my friend and notice that he appears more cheerful than usual. He looks almost lighthearted. A comment about him getting laid is on the tip of my tongue when he leans forward and I know what’s coming. Cassie. Fuck, why must we keep talking about her? I turned over complete control to him when I stopped using coke. Max was against it, but I felt that far too much of my time, as well as my lawyer’s, had been tied up in her care. Aidan was more than willing to be her advocate, and I knew he would protect her interests where I could not. I don’t trust myself to make decisions concerning her any longer. I was never the person who should have been entrusted with that. Clearing his throat, he begins, “So, I met with Cassie’s doctor this past weekend.”
“That’s good,” I say in a voice I know does not sound encouraging. I’m tapping a pen restlessly on my desk, hoping he’ll get to the point quickly.
“We discussed an overnight visit in the near future if she keeps progressing as she has been.”
My blood runs cold as I stare at him in shock. Surely, the fuck he can’t be saying what I think he is. “What exactly do you mean, Aidan?” I ask, hoping I’ve misunderstood.
I can tell he’s choosing his words carefully as he says slowly, “Luc, she’s really made remarkable strides since she began the new medication. She recognizes me and mentions things from her past. Her doctor says she is continuing to interact with everyone there and shows marked improvement daily. They think that a short visit to a familiar place might really be of benefit to her as she struggles to regain the missing parts of her memory.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I manage to croak out. Fuck, this kind of anxiety is the last thing I need right now.
“You put me in charge of making the decisions for her,” he points out quietly, but with a hint of steely resolve in his voice. “I know you and I differ greatly on the outcome we are hoping for here, but I need you to respect my feelings and judgment.”
My temples begin to pound and I reach to rub one absently. Tension headaches, fuck yeah, they appear to be here to stay. “Aidan, I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“How about it’s been a long time and you wish her the best? I know you can’t forgive her for what she did to you, but you loved her at one time. We were all so close. She was our girl, Luc, don’t you remember that?”
I flash back to years past when we were all just kids. Aidan’s right. We both loved her and at the time, I could never have imagined how badly the future would turn out. “Of course I do, man. It’s…hard for me to reconcile the younger Cassie with the one who slit my throat and killed my child.” I see him flinch, but I continue. “It’s almost as if they are two different people in my mind. I would have done anything for her back then, but I don’t even know the person she became.”
“I need to try to save her, Luc,” Aidan implores me to understand. “I can’t turn my back on her. You couldn’t either or you wouldn’t have been her guardian all these years.”
“What do you see happening if she does get better and is eventually released from the hospital? I’m afraid you have a picture in your head that’s never going to play out in real life. She may well pack her bags and leave this place behind. She has nothing here anymore, not even her father.”
Tapping his chest, Aidan says, “She has me. That’s never going to change. I’ve fucked a lot of women, but I’ve only ever loved one. Don’t you think if this were a simple case of puppy love, the glow would have worn off after all these years? I need you to trust that I know what I’m doing.”
I resign myself to the fact that this conversation is going nowhere. We’ll always be at a stalemate on this subject. “Other than not being able to deal with additional stress right now, I put you in charge because you’ll look out for her in ways I can’t,” I admit. “I’m not comfortable with her being released, even for a day, but that’s not my call. I only ask that you get a second opinion before you consider doing anything like that. Cassie has essentially been in a coma for eight years. That’s a long time. Everything is different now, and she won’t know or recognize this world. Can you imagine the type of shock that something like that could cause?”