Kiss Me Like This

Chapter TWENTY-NINE

Ten minutes later, Serena was in her usual spot in the library, but she couldn’t settle down. Not when everything around her reminded her of Sean. Surprising her the day those first pictures had come out. Showing her the photographs—and a deeply hidden part of himself—in the archives downstairs. Picking her up to take her to play Frisbee Golf. Surprising her with the bag full of Stanford Football clothes and face paint for one of their normal dates...and her surprising him right back by launching herself at him at the top of the stairs and kissing him. And then, on their most recent Friday night date, being surprised when he’d unzipped her bag and found tequila in it.
All the sweet and sexy moments blurred in her brain, making it nearly impossible for her to focus the way she needed to. But if she blew this presentation that made up fifty percent of her grade for the quarter, movie or not, her grade point average would be too low for the admissions department to change her probationary acceptance to permanent.
Pushing the hair out of her face, she stared down at her notes and made herself carefully and deliberately go through them line by line, page by page. It took a little while, but finally, she started to sink back into the material the way she usually did. In fact, an hour later, when she finally thought to check her phone just in case Sean or Abi needed anything, she was surprised to see Smith Sullivan’s name on the screen.
She hadn’t heard her phone ring, but it looked like he’d left her a voice mail. Her heart rate immediately kicked into overdrive. And though she hated it when people used their cell phones in the library, she couldn’t wait to get all the way outside before hearing what he had to say.
Holding it up to her ear, she pressed play and Smith’s deep voice rumbled through. “Serena, I wanted to call to tell you how pleased I am that we will be working together on my film. I apologize again that it took this long for everything to be set in stone, and after worrying that we would lose you to other projects and commitments, I’m extremely glad to hear via your mother that you will definitely be able to make our first day of production next week.” He said a few more things, but she could barely take them in and had to replay his message again to take down his full contact information just in case she needed to reach him between now and next week.
She shouldn’t be shocked that her mother would have said Serena had “no other projects or commitments” that would interfere with his movie. And yet, even after the things Genevieve had said to her the day before, she was stunned. Stunned and heartbroken to know that what she wanted mattered so little to the person who had been the center of her world for nineteen years.
She dropped the phone into her bag and when she turned back to her presentation notes, no matter how hard she tried to study them, she just couldn’t stop thinking about Smith’s call...and how if everything went the way her mother was hoping it would, Serena would be on set by this time next week. It would be as though her time here at Stanford—and Sean—had never happened at all, reduced to nothing more than a short little blip in her life.
* * *
Disaster.
Her presentation was a total disaster. It was so bad, in fact, that by the time she fumbled her way to the end no one in her class could even make eye contact with her.
“Serena,” her professor said while the other students all shot out the door as fast as they could, “I’d appreciate it if you could stay behind for a few minutes.”
She felt sick to her stomach. She didn’t get the sense that Professor Fairworth paid much attention to pop culture, but it would just be her lucky day if he’d somehow seen the news reports that she was going to film Smith’s movie. If he had, of course he would assume that she had intentionally wasted his time today with a ridiculously subpar presentation.
“Is everything all right?”
Considering how uncomfortable she’d been around him in those initial weeks, ever since he’d canceled their one-on-one meetings, she hadn’t picked up on any weird vibes. Well, not too many weird vibes, anyway. Granted, she’d been too preoccupied with falling for Sean to notice much about anyone else.
“I’m so sorry about my presentation. I put so much time into preparing for it, but some personal things came up in the last couple of days.”
She hated hearing the excuse come out of her mouth, but for as fatalistic as all of this seemed, now that she’d actually blown the very thing she needed to get right, Serena was struck hard with a fierce need not to give up on everything that she’d had to fight so hard for in the first place. Maybe all of this was the universe telling her that she’d never belonged here anyway…but, darn it, that didn’t change how badly she wanted to be here.
“I know it’s no excuse and that you don’t have to give me any special preference, but if there was any way that I might be able to have a second chance to prove to you that I take your class as seriously as I truly do—”
“Serena, it’s okay.”
Her professor put his hand on her arm to stop her mouth from running on. Perhaps she should have been more startled by the fact that he was touching her, and that he didn’t immediately remove his hand from her bare skin, but she was so full of hope that he was going to give her another chance, the thought of pulling away didn’t even cross her mind.
“It is?” Could this be the real sign that she was going to figure out a way to make it all work, after all? “I was so worried that you would think I’d flaked out, but I swear I haven’t.”
“Breathe,” he said as he moved to draw her closer and began to stroke her back. “Just a few deep breaths will help. And then we can talk about our next step.”
Finally—and with such suddenness that it stole her breath along with the relief she’d momentarily felt—wariness came. Along with a hit of fear as she realized that she’d just walked into her professor’s arms.
Carefully, she took a small step back. “Thank you for agreeing to give me another shot at getting this presentation right. If I could have a couple of extra days to make a new plan for it, I know I could do a much better job.”
“Absolutely, Serena, although I’m sure you agree that it would be best if you did your repeat performance outside of class. Otherwise, I expect your fellow students might wonder where their second chances are. We wouldn’t want them to think you’re getting any special treatment just because your picture is everywhere.”
When he put it that way, it suddenly seemed like he had seen the story about her leaving school to film Smith’s movie. Which mean he probably also thought she and Sean were breaking up. If Sean had been the reason her professor had backed off several weeks ago, did Fairworth now think she was fair game? Was that why he was suddenly behaving in such a way that he was giving her the major creeps again?
“Professor Fairworth, I really do feel terrible about my performance today,” she began, but he raised his hand to stop her from saying anything else.
“We all have our off days. Perhaps before you redo your presentation, we should get together to discuss a few ways you might be able to improve your analysis. I have a full roster of classes tomorrow, but I could carve out some time for you in the evening.”
All those vulnerable and icky feelings she’d had around him in those early weeks on campus were coming back stronger than ever now, strong enough that she couldn’t quite force a response from her lips.
“This building will be shut by then,” he continued as if her agreement was a given, “so why don’t you come to my place?”
He dropped his gaze to her mouth before lowering it farther still and then slowly bringing his attention back to her face. And when he reached up to brush the backs of his knuckles across her cheek, she was so horrified that for a few seconds that seemed to stretch on forever she couldn’t get any of her limbs to work.
“You’re very special, Serena. Very beautiful, too.” He let his utterly inappropriate words linger for a few seconds as he ran hungry eyes over her again. “I truly do believe that you have special talents, and I am very much looking forward to helping you rise to your full potential, one on one. I know you’re upset about what happened today, but I promise I can make you feel good about everything again. So very good.”
While working as a model, she’d come across more than one photographer who had a knack for spinning things around on the girls he worked with so that they actually thought they’d asked for what the creeps had made them do. But Serena had always been protected by her mother, with Genevieve making absolutely certain that no one got near her. In so many ways it had been a prison, but at least she’d never come out of a session hollow-eyed from the things she’d wished she’d never done with the photographer.
Today, there was no one to protect her from her predatory professor. No one, she suddenly realized, but herself.
She took a step away from him. A big enough one that he had to drop his hand. “Meeting at your house isn’t going to work. I wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about what I’m willing to do to improve my grade.” Especially you. “I know I blew my presentation today,” she said in a voice that grew stronger with every word she spoke, “but meeting in one of these classrooms would be best.”
She could read her professor’s frustration loud and clear from the way his face reddened and his eyes narrowed on her. “I know you’re on academic probation until you can prove that you’re a good enough student to be allowed to stay on for another quarter, Serena. I’m offering you a second chance. Are you really turning it down?”
She might be giving up her chance at recovering her grade, but it was so much better to live with that than letting her professor take advantage of her in exchange for it. “If the only option is to meet at your house—” She waited a moment to give him a chance to offer another alternative. She wasn’t surprised when he didn’t. “—then yes, I am absolutely turning down your offer.” She was about to pick up her bag and walk out, when she had to also tell him, “And it is utterly and completely inappropriate for you or any other professor to comment on my looks or touch me like that. I was so excited when I heard that you were going to be one of my professors, but you’re nothing like I’d hope you be.” She let him see how disgusted she was by him. “You can win all the literary awards in the world, but that still won’t make you a good man.”
With that, she finally left the classroom. Even if she managed the miracle of getting out of the movie, by rejecting her professor’s “offer” and telling him exactly what she thought of him, she was nailing the final piece of her college coffin in place. But at least she’d leave Stanford with her self-respect.
She had never been happier to see Sean coming down the hallway for her.
“Sorry I’m late,” he said, his arms already open to pull her into them. “My professor was late so he gave us fifteen extra minutes for the test. I finished as quickly as I could.”
Badly needing his arms around her, she reached for him. But before he could fold her against him, he stopped and looked carefully at her. “What’s wrong?”
Her professor stepped out into the hall at that very moment. Smith Sullivan might have cast her for a major role in his movie, but her acting wasn’t nearly good enough to hide the revulsion that crossed her face.
“Serena?” Sean’s voice was a low growl. “What did he do?”
She shook her head. “He tried to get me to come to his house for a ‘one-on-one’ session tomorrow night, but I’ve already—” Before she could finish her sentence, Sean was moving toward her professor, fury in his eyes. “Sean, you don’t have to—”
“Does it make you feel powerful, preying on your students?” Sean was big enough and broad enough to stop her professor in midstride.
“Get out of my way.”
“Not a chance, a*shole.”
Her professor raised an eyebrow. “I’m not going to ask you again. Get out of my way.”
Sean’s fists bunched up, just seconds from throwing a punch. Serena couldn’t deny that it was amazing to have him stick up for her like this, but at the same time, if news of a fight between the two of them over her got out—which it would, no question about it—and especially if her professor played innocent and the faculty believed him, Sean might get kicked out of school. She’d already accepted that she was done here. But she’d never forgive herself if he lost his spot at Stanford, too, because of her.
“Stop.” She managed to slip between the two men, facing Sean. “Please, stop. He isn’t worth it.” She could see Sean warring with himself, knew he was so angry over what might have happened to her that he wanted to tear the guy apart with his bare hands. “I’ve already made things just as clear to him as he did to me.”
For a few moments, she wasn’t sure that Sean had even heard what she said. Not until he finally told her professor, “Don’t you dare ask Serena, or any other of your female students, to be alone with you again. If I find out you have, I won’t stop next time. Not just ripping your sorry ass to pieces, but exposing you to the faculty.”
“You can’t touch me.”
“Want to bet? I have more Stanford connections than you can imagine, including one of the biggest donors to the university.”
She shouldn’t have gotten such pleasure from seeing the other man’s face turn white. But he’d played the all-powerful role with her for so long that it was really nice to see that shift. And so suddenly, too.
With that, Sean turned his back on her professor and took Serena’s hand in his. “Ready to get that pizza?”
Somehow, even when everything was a mess, he always knew how to make her smile. And to forget everything but him, even the really bad stuff. “Let’s go.”