He stepped closer. “You didn’t.”
“I did. Funny how you took her to the restaurant you always take me to when I’m in town.”
“I haven’t taken you there in a very long time, Paulina. Even after we stopped—” He paused, struggling.
“After we stopped—fucking, Gabriel? Why can’t you say it? We’ve been f**king for years.”
“Keep your voice down!”
“I’m not your dirty little secret. We were friends. We had a relationship. You can’t just ignore me and treat me as if I were trash.”
“I’m sorry for how I treated you. But listen to yourself. Don’t you think you deserve to be the center of someone’s universe? Instead of chasing after someone who wants someone else?”
She tore her eyes from his. “You always wanted other women. Even when I was pregnant. Why should now be any different?”
He flinched. “Because you deserve to be with someone who wants you as much as you want him. It’s time to move on. It’s time to be happy.”
“You make me happy,” she whispered. “You’re all I want.”
“I’m in love with Julianne and I’m going to marry her.” He sounded determined.
“I don’t believe you. You’ll come back. You always come back.” She wiped a few tears away with the back of her hand.
“Not this time. In the past, I was weak and you held my guilt over me. But no more. We can’t see each other and we can’t speak. I’ve been patient with you and I’ve tried to help, but I’m done. As of today, your trust fund is frozen.”
“You wouldn’t!”
“I will. If you go back to Boston and begin seeing a therapist, I’ll see that you continue receiving support. But if you contact me again, or if you do anything to hurt Julianne, you’ll be cut off. Permanently.” He leaned forward menacingly. “And that includes doing anything to hurt her life as a student.”
“You’d do that? You’d just throw me away? I’ve sacrificed my life for you. I lost my academic career!”
Gabriel’s jaw clenched.
“I never wanted you to do that. I did everything I could to help you stay at Harvard. You dropped out.”
“Because of what happened to me. Because of what happened to us!”
His hands fisted at his sides.
“I don’t deny that I’ve behaved abominably and you have every reason to be angry. But my admission doesn’t change the fact that this has to end. Today.”
He leveled his gaze on her and for a moment, he wore a look of compassion.
“Good-bye, Paulina. Be well.”
He moved toward the sliding doors.
“You can’t. You won’t!”
His face wore a look of steely resolve.
“I already have.”
Gabriel walked into the Manulife Building without a backward glance, leaving Paulina outside, crying, and standing in the snow.
Chapter Thirty-nine
May 2010
St. James the Apostle Cemetery
West Roxbury, Massachusetts
Gabriel stood in front of the stone angels, their twin forms positioned like sentries on either side of the memorial. The angels were made of marble, their skin white and perfect. They faced him, wings spread wide, with a name etched on the marker that sat between them.
The monument reminded him of the memorials in Santa Croce, in Florence. The likeness was intentional, since this monument was crafted after his own design.
As he regarded the angels, he thought back to his time in Italy, of his volunteer work with the Franciscans. Of his experience next to St. Francis’s crypt. Of his separation from Julianne.
If only he could wait until July first, there would be the possibility of reunion. But Gabriel wasn’t sure that she’d forgive him. He wasn’t sure anyone would forgive him, but he had to try.
He reached into his pocket and retrieved his cell phone, dialing a number from the contact list.
“Gabriel?”
He took a deep breath. “Paulina. I need to see you.”
“What’s wrong?”
He turned his back on the monument, somehow unable to speak to her while staring at the name that was carved in stone.
“I just need to see you for an hour, to talk. Can we meet tomorrow?”
“I’m in Minnesota. What’s this about?”
“I’ll fly to Minneapolis tonight. Can we meet?” He was insistent, his voice tense and thin.
She sighed heavily. “Fine. Let’s meet at a Caribou Coffee tomorrow morning. I’ll email the address.”
She paused, and Gabriel could hear her fidgeting in the background.
“You’ve never flown across country to talk to me.”
He clenched his teeth. “No, I haven’t.”
“Our last conversation wasn’t exactly pleasant. You left me outside your building, crying.”
“Paulina.” His tone was slightly pleading.
“Then you cut off all contact.”
Gabriel began to pace, the phone pressed tightly to his ear.
“I did. And then what happened?”
She was quiet for a moment.
“I went home.”
He stopped pacing.
“You should have gone home years ago, and I should have encouraged you to do it.”
Silence reverberated between them.
“Paulina?”