“My low blood pressure is probably genetic. My mother had it.”
“Genetic,” he muttered, drawing on his cigarette again. The smoke billowed from his nostrils as if he were a dragon.
“It’s a bit odd to ask me about my health while you’re out here smoking, don’t you think?”
“It’s better than cocaine, Julianne.” His voice was cold. “How did your mother die?”
“Why are you asking me this?” She pulled away from him.
“You told me your mother died while you were living with your father. I didn’t know if she had health problems or if it was an accident.” Gabriel’s expression was searching, but his eyes were guarded.
“She was drunk and fell down the stairs at her apartment building. Broke her neck.” Julia gave him a venomous look. “Happy now?”
She turned to go back into the bedroom, but he caught her arm. “Julianne.”
“Don’t touch me!” She wrenched her arm free and turned on him. “I love you, but you can be a cold son of a bitch.”
He was on his feet in an instant, his drink and cigarette discarded on the table. “I don’t deny it.”
“Something is troubling you, but instead of discussing it with your wife, you’d rather discuss it with your drink and your cigarette and the Umbrian landscape. Fine. Sit out here all night by yourself. But don’t try to mindfuck me.”
She moved toward the doors that led to their bedroom.
“I’m not trying to mindfuck you.”
“Then warn me before you start spelunking through my unhappy memories.”
Gabriel tried to restrain a chuckle but failed.
She turned and glared. “It isn’t funny!”
“Spelunking, Julianne? Really?” His face relaxed into a playful grin, at which she merely frowned.
He closed the space between them. “Don’t blame me for laughing. You have an enviable vocabulary.”
She struggled against his arms and then his lips were on hers. The dusky taste of smoke and tobacco invaded her mouth. His kiss was gentle but insistent.
In time, her posture softened.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m in a foul mood. I shouldn’t take it out on you.”
“That’s right, you shouldn’t.
“When I’m upset, I talk to you. Talk to me.”
He pulled away, running both hands through his hair, making its dark strands even more unruly.
She tugged at his elbow.
“Everyone gets into a foul mood sometime. But you can’t bring up certain topics so indelicately.”
“Forgive me.”
“You’re forgiven.” She shivered. “But you’re scaring me. You’re looking for Scotch and talking about cocaine. You’re asking me how my mother died. What’s going on?”
“Not tonight, Julianne.” He scrubbed at his face with his hands. “Haven’t we had enough distress for one day? Go to bed. I’m not fit for company.”
He returned to his seat, his shoulders slumped.
Julia hesitated, her eyes darting between the doors to the bedroom and his face. Part of her wanted to leave him to brood alone. Part of her believed that he was in distress and that if she didn’t attempt to intervene, he would spiral into a depression.
Or worse.
She went to him, holding out a tentative baby finger, linking it with his.
“You’re upset.”
“Yes.” His voice sounded flat.
“Before we were together, when you’d get into a foul mood, what would you do?”
“I’d drink and do coke. And . . .” He began tapping his bare foot against the floor of the balcony.
“And?”
His blue eyes moved to hers. “I’d f**k.”
“Did it work?”
He snorted. “Temporarily. My troubles always came back the next morning.”
She looked inside the bedroom, toward the large canopied bed.
She lifted her chin. “Let’s go.”
“Go where?”
“To bed.” She tugged at his pinky finger. “To work out our foul moods.”
Gabriel’s eyes seared into hers. Then he seemed to pull himself back.
“That is not a good idea. I told you, I’m not myself.”
“Do you love me?”
He frowned. “Of course.”
“Would you hurt me?”
“Absolutely not. Who do you think I am?”
“I think you’re my husband and I think you need to f**k your bad mood away. So let’s go.”
His mouth dropped open.
When he’d collected himself, his expression grew harsh. “I don’t f**k you, Julianne.”
“No, you’d rather I were someone else so you could.”
His eyes flashed. “That is not true. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, yes, I do. You didn’t touch me when we went to bed. I needed you but you said no.” She stretched her arms wide. “Don’t you understand? What you crave, I need. Help me forget I’m about to lose the only sibling I’ve ever had. Please.”
He was torn. It was telegraphed in the way his eyes bore into hers and the eagerness that radiated from his skin.