“Will do. Bye, Jules.”
Julia quietly put down the phone. Then she was in Gabriel’s arms.
“They were so happy about the baby.”
He squeezed her tightly as she clutched at his shirt.
“They’re at a good hospital.”
“They’re devastated. It sounds like even if the heart problem can be corrected, the baby still will have health problems.”
“Doctors make predictions, but they’re guided by probabilities. Every patient is different.”
He straightened suddenly, as if something had just occurred to him.
“Does Tom have any health problems?”
“Not that I know of. Both of his parents had heart disease.”
She looked up at him. “You don’t think this is genetic, do you?”
“I don’t know.” He held her more closely. “There are few days when being an MD is infinitely better than being a PhD. This would be one of them.”
More tears streaked down Julianne’s cheeks. It had never occurred to her that something could be wrong with the baby. She’d been so happy to be having a sibling that any of the risks were unthinkable.
As she cried in the arms of her husband, she realized that whatever grief she was feeling, Tom and Diane must be feeling tenfold.
“How could they have prepared themselves for this?” she croaked. “They’re devastated.”
Julianne leaned against Gabriel, not noticing the expression on his face or the sudden flash of horror in his eyes.
Chapter Thirty
August 2003
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Gabriel? Baby, it’s time to get up.”
A soft, feminine hand stroked the stubble on his face and for a moment, he relaxed. He wasn’t sure where he was or who was lying naked beside him, but she had a sexy voice and a light touch. Cautiously, he opened his eyes.
“Hi, baby.” Her large blue eyes stared down at him in devotion.
“Paulina,” he groaned, closing his eyes. He had a pounding headache and all he wanted to do was sleep. But Professor Pearson didn’t accept excuses from his teaching assistants, which meant he needed to drag himself to campus.
(It was possible the professor would have accepted death as an excuse as to why his teaching assistant missed class. Although it was doubtful.)
“It’s eight o’clock. You have time for a shower and breakfast. And maybe a little . . .” Her hand slid down his chest to his abdomen. Then she wrapped her fingers around him and . . .
And his morning erection withered in her hand like a dead flower.
He pushed her away. “Not now.”
“You always say that. Is it because I’m getting fat?” She sat next to him, her stomach slightly rounded, her generous br**sts full.
He didn’t answer, which in itself was a kind of response.
“I can make it good for you. You know I can.” She hugged him around the shoulders, kissing his neck. “I love you.”
“I said not now. Fuck. Can’t you hear?” He disentangled himself from her arms before sliding his legs over the side of the bed. The hardwood floor was cool beneath his feet but he barely felt it.
All his attention was focused on one thing—the ghost of white powder left on his nightstand. Now he was awake, arranging the mirror and the razor blade and the rolled-up five-dollar bill.
The world around him melted away and he felt his mind and body spring to life, his movements sure and quick.
In the blink of an eye it was up his nose and everything was clear again. He was hyperalert. He could think. He could function.
He lit a cigarette, forgetting that his . . . whatever-she-was-now was in his bed, watching him. She wrapped herself in a robe and fled to the kitchen, not wanting to expose their unborn child to smoke.
He finished his cigarette and showered, pausing to drink the cup of coffee she’d placed next to the sink. He brushed his teeth and shaved, his mind enumerating all the work he had to do on his dissertation, along with the interminable to-do list foisted on him by Professor Pearson.
Gabriel didn’t have time to examine his life or his actions. If he did, he would have realized that he was a slave, in chains, to cocaine, nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol.
He was a slave to his passions, also, when his dick was working. Even though he was living with Paulina and she was pregnant, he was still sexually involved with other women. He never bothered to ask himself whether he should stop. In fact, he didn’t think about it at all. He simply did it.
“You’re handsome.” Paulina watched him from the doorway, her hand cradling her protruding abdomen over her black silk robe.
Gabriel ignored her, as he was wont to do. He also ignored the dark circles on his face, his bloodshot eyes, and the fact that he was a good ten to fifteen pounds lighter than his normal, healthy weight.
“I made you breakfast. Scrambled eggs and toast.” She sounded hopeful.
“I’m not hungry.”
“You have a long day ahead of you and Pearson is going to work you hard.”