Forget About Midnight (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #9)

“Bromance?” Arys scoffed. “Trust me. I took a few punches over the last week when I wouldn’t let Shaz go and drag you out of Sinclair’s house. But something did change for us this week. For once we were on the same side, both hurting in the same way for the same woman. It did something to us, something good I think. I guess we’ll see.”


A warmth filled me. It genuinely moved me to hear that they were bonding. It meant that no matter what happened to me, I could count on them to take care of each other. A heavy sense of relief accompanied that knowledge.

I touched Arys’s face, and he leaned into it, kissing my hand. There had been a time when he’d been cast in the role of the bad guy. Both Kylarai and Shaz had disliked and mistrusted him. That hadn’t been fair. Arys was far from perfect, but he was a good man underneath it all. I was starting to feel like I didn’t deserve to be part of someone so steadfast and strong.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you.” It was all I could muster before tears threatened again. Cursed emotions. “I’m starting to think it’s always going to be this way. Endless conflict until it finally destroys us. I’d hoped that would change after we stopped Shya. But I feel now like it only made things worse.”

Arys cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. Then against my lips he whispered, “We are not Lilah and Salem. Conflict may be part of our union, but it will not destroy us. It can only do that if we let it. And I’m not going down that way. Ok?”

I nodded as more tears spilled from my eyes. Arys brushed them away, doing little more than smearing blood across my face, but the gesture was heartfelt.

“I hate myself,” I blurted, the confession refusing to be withheld. “For the things I’ve done. The things I’ll do. I don’t know who I am anymore, but right now, I hate myself.”

Arys winced as if I’d wounded him. Guilt shone in his eyes. “I want to be sorry that I made you this way, but I’m not. Because you’re here and not dead, and I can’t be sorry that you’re not dead.”

“Arys, this isn’t your fault. The things I’ve done, that’s all me.”

“It’s not though. It’s the light and dark battle going on inside you. It’s tormenting you, and part of that is my fault.” Guilt didn’t seem natural on Arys. It wasn’t right. I’d humanized him in our time together. We’d changed each other for both good and bad. Such a double-edged sword.

The sun was going to rise soon. I glanced toward the living room window both welcoming and dreading it. As good as it felt to be in Arys’s arms, I really did need some time completely alone.

Following my gaze Arys said, “I should go. I want to ask you to reconsider turning yourself in to the FPA, but I know you’re not going to. But know this: if Briggs doesn’t get you out, I’m coming in after you.”

My initial reaction was to protest, to remind him of what that building had done to him. His eyes flashed with venom for Briggs, and I knew he wouldn’t be dissuaded. So instead I just nodded, accepting that we couldn’t always control each other and shouldn’t even try.

“Ok,” I said with a small smile.

“Ok?” He echoed. “That was easy. Too easy. Now I’m suspicious.”

We shared a laugh, and after the hell we’d both been through, it felt so damn good. He rose and pulled me up with him. We stood in the kitchen, clinging to each other until the coming dawn drove us apart.

I followed him down the hall to the entryway with so many questions and comments that there was no time to voice. So I settled for another longing embrace that left me more confused than ever.

“Can I see you after sunset?” Arys looked so hopeful. It wasn’t like him to let his vulnerable side show.

“What about Jenner? It’s his last night here. Maybe you should be with him.”

Arys snickered. “So I can beat his ass for biting you tonight? Good idea.”

I couldn’t get anything past this vampire. I’d hate to meet the person who could outsmart Arys Knight. I doubted such a being existed.

“You can’t really blame him, Arys. We did that to him. Besides, I was the one in control of that situation. It was just a bite. I rejected his further advances.” I conveniently left out the part where I made Jenner swear no harm would come to Kale.

“I love the guy, really, but I’ll be relieved when he’s gone. He’s high maintenance.” Arys laughed and opened the door. The sky was beginning to lighten, shades of black that thinned with the approach of the sun.

He kissed me, a tender brush of lips that stirred my longing for him. Maybe one day we could love each other again without the ghosts of our many mistakes haunting us.

No sooner had I closed the door than the sound of my cell phone came from the kitchen. I sprinted down the hall to grab it, expecting it to be Jez or Briggs. It was Kale. Fuck.

“Please don’t be mad,” I said instead of the standard greeting. “I had to come home.”