“There are others,” he admonishes, trying not break at hearing me say that. “I love you enough to let you go and not tell anyone it’s you killing all those men,” he counters, barely looking at me now. “I love you too much, but I can’t do this anymore. This would ultimately destroy us. I’ve sat thinking it won’t but your father has won again, Amelia. And while I’m telling myself to haul you down to the station, I can’t. I love you enough to let you escape.”
“But you don’t love me enough to help me escape with you? Not enough to love me beyond this point?” I ask him, waiting for him to look at me. “Am I right?” I ask, my voice cracking. “You can’t love me enough to think I’ll ever change anymore. You’ve lost all hope in me. I can see it written all over your face. I’ll never be that Amelia you really loved. You’ve lost all hope I’ll change and be her again.”
“You’ve proven you can’t,” he says and I realize he’s made his mind up and there is no changing. “I tried to make you the girl you were.”
He’s resigned, and I’m bitter. As much as I want to hurt him, I knew this would all fall down around me. My carefully placed house of cards was only going to sustain so much before it toppled down. There was only so much it would withstand before my facade had to drop. I should’ve guessed the hunt for the Femme Fatale would continue even without Zane’s input. I should have guessed he would find out sooner rather than later.
If this is it, I will still strive to keep him safe. That will never change.
“Run,” I tell him, not caring for how destroyed I am. I look him in the eyes, wishing I could have one last kiss, but I can see that isn’t an option. So, I wish one final bid and pray he’ll listen. “It's not safe for you anymore. You have to leave.”
“Why should I believe you?” he asks me, curiosity knitting his brows together. “Everything else has been a lie,” he starts to say.
“Not everything,” I argue, heartbrokenly. “Just trust me and run. I couldn’t save us, but I can save you.”
He nods, but I wonder if he wishes we were on the run together. He moves toward me, his hand rising to cup my face, his eyes stare at me. There’s an electric moment between us. I feel like this isn’t the end. There’s no closure. I’m waiting for him to take me back, accept my apology, kiss away the pain he’s thrusting into my heart and tell me we can just run and never come back. However, he doesn’t. His words are his final ones to me. They’re his bid at closure.
“I wish I had been enough for you to stop,” Zane utters, trying to shield his own heartbreak from surfacing.
I want to tell him he was but that would be futile. He was enough to stop, but grief drove me to do the extreme, and this is my ultimate punishment. I deserve a fate worse than death and Zane’s deliverance is that. So, instead of arguing further, I take this as my moment to leave. He’s letting me go, and I’ve warned him. But once again, we aren’t meant to be.
“Like I said before, I’m a monster,” I tell him and avert eye contact for a second. “I’ll always love you, Zane, even if you don’t believe that. Whatever wrong I had done, loving you was only ever the right thing.” I bite down on my lip before I give my final words to him. “I could only ever love you to death, Zane.”
I slip away from him quick enough to pick up my jacket and bag and then leave without looking back. As I leave, a complete victim of love, I know there's only one thing I can do. I’m playing the cards I’ve been dealt. I’m scorned, broken, vengeful, and still, stupidly, in love. They’re potent emotions alone, and together they’re nuclear. This is going to be cataclysmic. What I’m feeling now will end tragically. Zane discarded our love a second time without offering me a fighting chance. I had changed the way he felt about me by adding to my hit list. This is my downfall. I killed those men, but in the same instance, my father had a role in this – again.
I sluggishly walk down the stairs I had only just seemingly bounded up. I had this excited bubble in me, the chance of a fresh start, but now I had nothing but venomous emotions. And as I despondently leave the building, slowly walking away from the apartment building I called home, and begin the journey to hell, one thought consumes me – someone has to pay.
***
The more I walk, the more my mind races. I walk at a slow pace, but my mind is running at a high velocity speed. It was as I walked through Manhattan, leaving the cloistered area of the main city and heading for the rural area, my mind begins to analyze all that happened. It deduces one thing – my father is the culprit to it all.