“Because he was trying to rape me,” I say, my voice losing all momentum as I remember the feel of Big Al’s hands all over me. Again, that look of concern mars his eyes, but he buries it. “He deserved it.”
“And what about the sixty-eight men before him, Amelia?” Zane asks, clearly aware of all the list of men my father has had me kill – ironically, a few have gone forgotten because my tally is a little higher than that. “I have been following the Femme Fatale case for over a year. I know your kill pattern; I know your technique. I know you have no victimology. There’s no cohesion to the men you kill.”
“Yes, there is,” I state, arguing back, and I will until I’m blue in the face. I work for my father, taking out men who pose a threat to the Abbiati name. It’s all for one reason – it’s all for family. That’s what I was brought up to know. It’s all I know. It’s my sole purpose for working so hard to keep my place and keep my family safe. Is all that a lie? I can’t believe it is, so I look back and stand a little straighter before Zane. “They all failed my father. They all threatened our lives. They threatened everything my family has built over the years.”
“See, that’s the problem, then,” Zane begins and starts a slow, thoughtful pace. “Some of them haven’t had any connection to your father at all,” he retorts, realizing he’s thrust open a can of worms. “Your father has been using you to just kill people. He used you to do the dirty work so he didn’t have to, Amelia. I just came with a convenient excuse.”
“No,” I say and begin shaking my head in dismay. My father might be the villain in all this, but there is no way he would have done this to me. “He wouldn’t do this to me.”
“And there is our biggest issue,” he speaks, this time rougher, and my reaction apparently spoke volumes. “You’re so quick to defend him!”
Zane crosses the room, bypassing me. He whacks into me as he does so, and I turn with the force of the hit as he storms out of the bedroom. I silently follow him as he crosses the entire apartment, and I halt as he opens the door.
“I think it’s best you leave, Amelia,” he comments, motioning my inevitable exit. “What we started was never destined to go anywhere.”
I say nothing, but go to the door only to fight him enough to shut it again. I stand with my back against it, looking at him with every ounce of desperation my body is fleeting with. "You can't do this to me. You can't end this again. You can’t leave me."
“You should’ve thought about that when you told me you didn’t want to do your father’s calling, but went against that behind my back.” I can see how this is eating Zane apart, but I can’t help but hate him for not seeing why I did it. “I thought we were one hundred percent honest with one another. I thought when you cried over what you’ve become the other morning it was because you were looking for an escape, not because you had a guilty conscience eating you up.”
“I did it for you,” I say feebly, falling for the weakness of my breaking heart. Its siren cry wants me to cave and fall, but the Abbiati in me keeps my feet flat, my knees a little strengthened, and my exterior nowhere near as darkened as my interior looks. “It was for you. It was only for you. I wish I hadn’t done it, but at the time, it was all I knew to do.”
“You should have come to me with names, Amelia!” Zane’s outburst is menacing, and he throws his hands into his hair, tearing at clumps with anguish. “I can’t get past what you are anymore. Before, I was caught up in something; lust, desire, something that was beyond me. But this morning was like a wakeup call. It doesn’t matter how many ’I love yous’ there are, how many kisses, how many orgasms I force upon you, you are an Abbiati and that is your biggest fault.”
“But I don’t want to be an Abbiati at the cost of losing you!” I fight, grabbing onto his shirt.
“It’s engrained,” he tells me, and casually removes my hand, breaking our connection. Slowly, he’s shutting down on me, and that kills me more than him yelling and swearing at me. “It’s innate to you. Salvatore made sure you were almost programmed to do what he wants. He has you right where he wants and maybe, yes, I had some hand in that by leaving before, but he has always had a hold on you.”
“I know,” I say and sadly realize that Zane was the only man, besides a few, who could love me without care. However much my brothers see, Zane saw more sides of me than they did. "You were the only one who ever loved me for all of me. Without you, there is no one."