“Hey.”
Manuel’s voice penetrates the calm I had gathered around me. I sit up, setting my glass of wine down and look at him. He stands in the doorway of the kitchen, looking impish and forlorn and an immediate frown pulls across my forehead, dragging my eyebrows together.
“Hey you,” I say, giving him a small smile. I gesture for him to come and take the seat opposite me. “Want a glass?” I ask, picking my glass up again as I watch him cross the patio.
He gives a small nod and I get up so I can quickly grab another glass. I down mine before I go back out and set to pouring us both a drink. I only sit once I’ve passed him the glass. I take a moment to study his face, and I deduce that my brother has never looked more haunted in all his years than he has in the weeks since I’ve been back home.
“You want to talk about anything?” I casually ask, not trying to sound too precautious with my tone. “I know it’s been a little crazy with me here and Zane, but I want you to know that I’m still here for you one hundred percent, Manuel.”
“I know,” he whispers, and I hate how troubled he seems to be.
“Then talk to me, baby brother,” I reply, offering a gentler tone than before. “I can’t help otherwise.”
He looks up at me, his bright blue eyes swimming with ample amounts of discourse and sorrow. We sit there for a moment while he gathers his bravado to speak, and I realize the detrimental effect my absence had on him, of all people. He used to just blurt words out at me, and now there’s hesitancy. My heart clenches at the damages I’ve done to my relationships in this family.
“It’s nothing,” he responds, diverting his gaze back to his full wine glass.
Taking the glass out of his hands, I place it onto the glass table beside us and set into motion a quick plan. I stand up, grab his hand, and drag him back into the house. He doesn’t fight and I guess that’s a good sign. I push him to the stool Zane left vacant and take my leave to finally pull the ice cream out of the freezer. My fingers instinctively go to mine and Manuel’s favorite – mint chocolate – and I turn back with a bright grin. Immediately, I see a bright light in his eyes and I move across the room, only stopping grab us a spoon each. As I make my way to occupy the seat beside my brother, I notice the time and realize I had been sitting outside almost an hour before Manuel had interrupted. Now, my thoughts wander to how the boys are getting on.
“I thought I was meant to be the brooding one tonight?” Manuel asks as I freeze to stare at the clock on the wall.
I shake my head, forcing myself back into reality. I say nothing, take my seat, and place the tub of ice cream between us. I offer my brother a spoon and pull the lid of the ice cream once he’s taken it. We both sit in silence for a moment, taking another spoonful of the delicious dessert. The calm that settles is easy, and I hope it’ll be enough for Manuel to open up. I don’t push him, nor do I want to. I know I’ve been an absentee sister, but I want to right my wrongs. My brothers should never have to pay for my shortcomings. All this time, I wanted to protect Manuel, and I abandoned him – maybe not by force, but the impact measures all the same.
"Do you ever feel like you were born into the wrong family?" Manuel asks, and I can hear essences of desolation dance upon his words. I can see the worry dangles in front of him and he knows my opinion on this will mean the world.
I offer a small smile for reassurance, drop my spoon into my ice cream, and turn my entire body to face him.
"Manuel, there are parts of this family that weren't made for you, but you were never born into the wrong family. I feel it too, but then I look at you, and Carlo, Bruno, and Enzo and I thank all of my lucky stars I was born into the right family. Without you four, my life would be meaningless. You're what keep me alive most days."
He looks at me disbelievingly, and I can’t help but smile.
“For the most part, this family is full of crooks, but Madre made sure we’d have a soul that wasn’t something easily corrupted. I look at you and want nothing more for you than a life away from Papà, but in the same sense, I look at you and see that one piece of you that’s a lot like the rest of us. You have the same compassion and sense of loyalty to some of us that we all have. The one that Enzo made sure we grew up with.”
There’s a small smile now pulling across Manuel’s face. “I’m really glad you finally came home. I like having you to help fight in my corner.”
"I will always fight for you, Manuel. Even when all your fight's left you. There is no way I'd ever let you go it alone in this life. Not when I love you so much, baby brother. You do understand that, right?"