I’ve stood watching a lone figure linger at the Abbiati crypt, flowers clutched in his right hand. He’s smartly dressed as if he were going on a date, but if that were so, he is in no hurry to leave the cemetery.
I watch him begin to wipe his face, and as much as I hate to, I have to intervene. I have to learn who this stranger is.
“Can I help you?” I call out, restarting my movements to take me toward the family grave. I know I shouldn’t interrupt, but no one’s here and we’re on a time limit today. “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry or disrupt, but I wasn’t expecting anyone to be out here.”
“I’m Ryan,” he states, clear and precise. “I’m Manuel’s... I mean I was...”
“Manuel’s boyfriend?” I ask, a small smile gracing my pale lips. It didn’t take rocket science to put the twisted fact together.
“Right. I’m sorry,” he immediately apologizes, blushing somewhat beautifully. “I wouldn’t have been here, but Manuel and I would have celebrated our sixth month anniversary together today. I know I had no right coming, but we joked about the date we’d have when we reached this point if we reached that point.”
I feel my eyes water, the bittersweet sting of a tragic love story still unraveling before me. This is Ryan, the man who made Manuel feel renewed, stronger, and confident. Even though Manuel has left a gaping hole in our family, it’s harder to see the obliteration his death has done to a man outside of the family fold we were so tightly knitted to.
“He told me about you,” I comment, musing the only way I can. “You were something special to him.” I watch as my words cut a little deeper than I wanted. “I’m so sorry your relationship with him was cut short,” I apologize, looking down, feeling that beat of dread begin to drum awake. “No one saw that coming.”
“No, you did,” Ryan accuses, cutting me off quickly. “You just never wanted to believe it. Manuel always wanted to believe Giovanni would sort himself out, but apparently to do so, he had to pay the cost.” He gives me a look, eying me up and down. “And from what your brother said at the funeral, so did you and him.”
“Enzo and I got lucky,” I feebly admit.
“Sometimes surviving doesn’t always make you the lucky one,” Ryan comments, his words sticking in my gut – he’s right. “It was great to finally meet you; I just wish it hadn’t been like this.”
“Don’t go,” I say, stopping him from leaving. “At least take my number. I would love to get to know the man that kept my brother so happy.”
There’s a sad smile on Ryan’s face, almost a grimace as if I’ve wounded him. It takes a moment before he shakes his head at me and declines my offer. “I would, but there are just too many memories.” He speaks so solemnly and heartbrokenly that I can tell he’ll have a hole in his heart that will never heal. “I really would but had it been different then I would have jumped at the opportunity. I can’t afford to fall in love with him more than I am when I know there’s no future now. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I sadly announce, accepting his option. “If you ever change your mind, then find us. All he wanted was us to make his life better than it was.”
“I know. Just make sure you love Zane with everything you have. If you don’t, you’ll only regret it,” Ryan speaks, a sad smile on his face before he gives me a final goodbye and hastily leaves before the tears threatening to fall cause him to unravel.
As I watch the grieving man walk away, I look back at the grave. The amount of hearts Manuel touched beyond our knowledge could be numerous, but seeing Ryan’s broken appearance tells me there are a few of us who will never recover no matter how bright our smiles. I take one last look as Ryan disappears from my sight and I take a deep inhale.
“So, that’s Ryan?” I ask, turning back to the marble front of the family crypt. “That’s who you hid from us?” I laugh deprecatingly. “He’s definitely swoon worthy, and I can’t believe you spoke to him about Zane.”