Speak of the devil.
I look up at him as he stands in the doorway, his pajama bottoms hanging low on his hips, his chest bare, muscles laminated by the moonlight shining through the windows. There he is – my one piece of salvation. We’ve fought hard to be where we are and I know that he was right when he told me our love story was meant to be epic. He was also right in being an absolute dipshit for coming back to me the way he did.
He looks around the room, uncomfortably eying up the room, and I imagine his mind is recreating that day he screamed life into me. The day he fought for me to come back to him is bellowing back at him in vicious shades and I can tell he’s fighting with himself to rid those thoughts.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I whisper, looking down at the floor before me. “The nightmares seem to just be getting worse.”
“So, that led you here?” he asks, still remaining framed by the doorway.
“I came for clarity,” I tell him, looking back up just as he crosses the room.
“Are you getting any?” he asks, coming to sit down beside me.
“Some.”
I look at Zane as he sits facing me in the same exactly the same position – legs out in front of him. I reach for his hand the moment it’s close and take from the physicality what I can. There’s no upheaval at this moment, my lacking heartbeat, slowly regaining its healthy rhythm.
“I felt like we were running out of time,” I whisper, making sure my eyes firmly captivate Zane’s. “When I felt him stab me, I thought I had ruined my chances in this life. Everything I wanted was slowly ebbing away, but then you were there fighting again. You’d come into this house with so many motives, but one intention... me. I didn’t see that until it was almost just too late.”
“You gave in, though,” he speaks tenderly, offering understanding.
“After too long,” I regrettably admit. “I had so many reasons for resisting you, but one is that our love could prove dangerous. It’s one thing to want in this life, it’s another to love. There’s so much danger being alone in this world as there are being with someone and jeopardizing their life with your actions. You’re that to me. If I loved you, it meant you were an easier target. You’re everything I want and need in a man, but I daren’t love you because while I saw what you were becoming, I watched that already large bounty over your head just grow.”
“Do you feel that now?” he asks, taking my words on harder than I expected.
“No,” I murmur, tears burning in my eyes, a lump forming in my throat. “That revolution that Enzo gave up on is finally happening. We’re setting new rules. You’re part of it all now. Hell, I think you may be one of the reasons for it.”
“I’m happy to be,” he remarks softly.
The silence that’s filled the room begins to dance around us, encasing us, and I spend a moment of reflection just listening to those tiny demons in me shouting in nothing louder than a cutthroat whisper. All my actions will have consequences I’ll take through life, but I have to right my own wrongs.
“Do you want to know something?” I ask Zane, cutting into the quiet. He doesn’t verbally tell me to continue but encourages me with a gentle look. “I had this idea before of a swan song,” I say, looking up from tracing the patterns in the wooden flooring. “I was going to avenge what happened to you, make my father think I was the perfect replica of what he wanted, and then I was going to run.” My eyes fixate on the blue orbs that stare at me, and I offer a small smile. “After that final kill, I was ready to take your hand and run. My swan song wasn’t meant to be so violent, but it was and I wished for everything to have gone differently that night.”
“You’re not the only one living with regrets, Amelia. I have them all day long, believe me.” His grip on my hand tightens somewhat exponentially, but I lavish that tightness, that grasp on me. “Even after what I found out, you fought for me. You saved my life when you could have set me up. It wasn’t until I realized what was going on that it was too late.”
“I would do everything to save you,” I tell him, honesty spilling from me in verbal ribbons. “While I was away, my uncle mocked me over you. It only made me angrier toward him and my father. Fuck it; I was angry at the world. I was shipped off as if I had no rights and I was forced to do things I never wanted a part in. It’s when I knew I had to change my mindset.” I pause, gulping in doubt. “I became someone I knew I could protect, Zane. I was someone I despised, but that was better than torturing the person I wanted so badly to be.”