“Amelia,” he starts, now stepping forward. I take it that, from his inability to stop, he hasn’t noticed my brothers and Allana coming out of the room to find out what’s happening. “Please, I know today has been hard on you all, but please do not push me away now. We have fought to be here, so please do not start to push me away without reason.”
“But there is reason,” I utter, trying to keep myself from breaking. I never wanted to be this close to telling the truth.
“What?” he asks, bafflement hitting him instantly. “What reason?”
I shake my head, not wanting to say a word. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does,” he says, bringing a hand to cradle my face. “Whatever it is, it changes nothing.”
“It changes everything,” I say, breaking the connection his formed. “It’s why I can’t do this anymore.”
I watch as confusion clouds his face, haunting his every feature and it only exacerbates the agony in me over this fact. He looks physically wounded by the fact I’ve stepped back, becoming ignorant to his touch and his comfort. I hate that I’ve done that to him. I loathe myself for dragging him into this sorry predicament.
“Amelia,” he whispers, trying hard to quell his hurt from showing in his voice. “Whatever it is, it cannot be that bad!” My silence is all that meets him and I can tell he’s unprepared for such a response. I usually have some sort of verbal comeback and here I am silenced on my spot. That seemingly breaks him quicker than anything – that matched with my doleful expression and teary eyes shatter his nerve and his breaks. “Amelia! For Christ’s sake! Talk to me! We go from talking about forever to you now seemingly wanting a life without me! What the fuck has happened that has you running scared again?!” I close my eyes and he grabs onto me, offering a small shake before he says, “Amelia, you’re scaring me now.” I open my eyes, greeted with a heated gaze. “Whatever it is it cannot be as bad as you think it is!”
“Is it,” I whisper and I can only find my voice sinking into nothing. I know I have to tell him what I can before I bottle it completely. “I can’t have children,” I state, finally accepting the truth that will destroy us. “That’s why I’ve starting to run scared, Zane. Giovanni may have destroyed my chances of ever having a future with you because of what he has done.”
His hands fall away from me now and that look I hoped I’d never have to see is presented right before me. I’ve created a new world of anguish for him, thrusting heartache into his life seemingly every time I breathe.
“That’s why I can’t do this anymore,” I say and I crack. My voice quivers and all the tears I had shed earlier don’t even compare to what I’m about to unleash now. “I will never destroy the chance for you to have a happy family, Zane. I’ve taken so much from you, expected more than I should, but I will not beg you stay anymore if there is no future.” I don’t dare look behind Zane. He’s already breaking my heart in two; I don’t want to think about the looks on my brothers’ faces. “So, that’s why I’m ready to let you go for good.”
He doesn’t listen; he just closes the gap between us. Everything Zane invades my system and I weaken.
“Please, don’t,” I utter, trying to stop him mid-step. “Don’t make this harder, please. I beg of you.” I sob, feeling each new sob form a larger lump in my throat. “Just see this as the best thing I could ever do for you now.”
He doesn’t heed my words. Instead, he steps closer.
“It won’t be the best thing when I can’t love anyone past you.” Now he grabs me gentler than before. His hands wrapping around my biceps to pull me closer, and he prepares to fight a new fight for me. “My future revolves around you, Amelia. Sei mia, per sempre. I mean that. There’s a lot of uncertainty in life, but I’ve been in this long enough to know that our love story is far grander, far more impressive than any love story already written in history. Forever, sweetheart.” He leans in, pressing his forehead to mine. “That means children would be an addition to that. I told you once that I couldn’t survive without you. Well, I wasn’t lying. It is a physical impossibility. I’ve tried and failed at it before; don’t make me try a third time.”
“But you’ll end up hating me in the future.” I close my eyes, but Zane’s grasp gently applies pressure, forcing me to open my eyes again. “How could you not?”
“Because you’re my world,” he retorts, a light, heartfelt tone matching his words. “I live, sleep, and breathe you, Amelia. My life starts and ends with you.” I know he can see he needs to work harder. I’ve worked myself up to this level of paranoia, but his fight only strengthens. “You said once that the thought of losing me left you breathless. The same thought kills me. When you wouldn’t wake up, I felt like I had died multiple times while I waited for you to look at me. You took your sweet time, Amelia, but you came back to me. But the thought of a future without you is crippling and almost fatal. You are my Femme Fatale. And I never want you to be anything else.”